50 Ways to Play (6 page)

32. Tickling

While not as flashy or high-tech as electrosex, old-fashioned erotic tickling is a fantastic BDSM practice that many dominants use to make their submissives squirm with pleasure. Some whips (see
#13
) come with long, silky tassels that a dominant can lightly drag over the submissive’s body. Thin rubber tassels feel especially good. A utilitarian feather duster
can also do this job. And remember those bunches of dried grass that served as makeshift flogging instruments (see
#13
)? Some of them, such as dried Bunny Tails, have plushy, soft tips that are perfect for tickling.

And then, of course, there is the classic feather tickler. Often a single large plume on the end of a stick, these can be strikingly beautiful and those made of ostrich or peacock
feathers have great aesthetic appeal. Dried pampas grass plumes, also available at most craft stores, cost a fraction of the price and are almost as good. They come in a gorgeous array of colors from pink to turquoise.

Once a submissive is restrained in the spread-eagle or standing position (see
#5
and
#8
), the dominant can take his or her sweet time to tantalize the captive’s erogenous zones
with a barely-there feathery sensation that floods the body and stimulates genital response. Sensory deprivation may or may not be used (see
#10
) in conjunction with restraint.

The dominant can use the tip of the feather to trace around the submissive’s areolae and nipples, moving down the navel to the genitals. Use of the feather’s tip should be interspersed with broad strokes of the feather’s
edge. This results in a variety of sensations that will have a submissive writhing in all-encompassing, whole-body pleasure.

33. Erotic Torture

Erotic torture involves the bondage of a submissive (see
#5
to
#8
,
#29
and
#34
) so that the dominant can slowly, usually over a fairly lengthy period of time, subject the submissive’s restrained body to a series of erotic pleasures. It is often combined with delayed gratification (see
#3
) and orgasm control (see
#28
). The use of sex toys (see
#29
) and tickling
(see
#32
) are also common activities during erotic torture, often alternated with harder activities such as spanking (see
#12
) or flogging (see
#13
). Brief periods of oral sex (see
#38
to
#41
) or sexual intercourse (see
#36
) may also take place to ensure the submissive’s body receives a variety of sensations, each more exquisite than the last.

Couples who engage in this type of sexplay must
have a safe word and maintain good communication (see
#2
). Erotic torture bears no resemblance whatsoever to actual torture. It is designed for the sexual pleasure of the submissive, as well as the erotic gratification of his or her dominant. Feigned helplessness is an arousing and fundamental aspect of BDSM; however, erotic torture should deliver more pleasure than pain.

34. Bondage Positions

Lying spread-eagle, bound supine to an ottoman, rope-tied to a chair and tied or suspended with the arms over the head are some basic bondage positions that have been covered so far; however, as BDSM sexplay progresses, couples may want to experiment with more physical and dramatic positions. They can then incorporate various elements of BDSM—from spanking
and erotic torture to force fantasies and sex toys—into these novel positions to make their BDSM experience new all over again. The following is a handful of bondage positions that strike a sexy balance between naughty and nice.

The Hogtie Position
Despite its unfortunate name, the hogtie position is a classic bondage position where the submissive’s arms and legs are bound together, behind
the back, usually with rope or wrist and ankle cuffs. This position should be reserved for flexible people only. Ropes should be tied lightly, ensuring quick and easy release if the submissive indicates he or she wants to be released. The hogtie position offers an ideal way to set the scene for a force fantasy (see
#27
).

The Leapfrog Position
This is a raunchy position where the submissive
is restrained in a more or less doggy-style position, with his or her buttocks in the air and face on the bed. The submissive’s legs may be held open with a leg-spreader bar (see
#29
), while the wrists may be bound with rope or cuffs and the arms slipped under the upper body.

The leapfrog position is the perfect complement to spanking (see
#12
) as it allows direct access to the entire buttock
area. It also facilitates anal play, with and without sex toys (see
#42
and
#29
) and anal sex (
#43
).

In the case of a male dominant and female submissive, this position accommodates rear-entry sexual intercourse: it provides an enticing visual for a man while positioning a woman’s backside in such a way that penetration and thrusting feel wonderful (see
#36
). Even better, it provides a risqué
position for cunnilingus (see
#38
).

The Over-Arm Tie
In this bondage position, the submissive’s arms are extended up over their shoulders, and then the hands are tied behind the head with ropes or cuffs. The dominant may wish to spice up this position by attaching a rope to the wrists, running it down the submissive’s back, and securing it at the waist. If the submissive is sitting on her
or his legs, the dominant can also extend a rope from the wrists to each of the submissive’s ankles, so that the legs are also restrained.

The openness of the over-arm tie exposes the sensitive stretches of skin along the body, from the underarm area to the hips, thus accommodating tickling (see
#32
). It also provides a striking visual that looks—and feels—completely vulnerable.

Elbow
Bondage
To achieve this versatile position, the dominant pulls both of the submissive’s arms behind his or her back and binds them at the elbows. While flexible submissives will be able to join their arms tightly at the elbows, many people are unable to achieve elbow contact: the dominant should ensure the rope is as strict or as slack as the submissive prefers. The dominant may also want to secure
the submissive’s wrists with rope or cuffs to help maintain this position.

Elbow bondage has the effect of pushing the breasts forward and out. If the submissive is female, her male dominant can thus exploit the full canvas of the breasts by tickling (see
#32
) them, or by licking or sucking the areolae and nipples with his mouth. He can also use nipple toys, whether clamps or stimulating
gels, to maximize erotic stimulation of this highly sensitive area (see
#15
).

The Frogtie Position
In this revealing position, each of the submissive’s legs is bent and bound—at the ankle and thigh—so that his or her legs vaguely resemble the bent legs of a sitting frog. An easy alternative is to sit the submissive on the bed, bend each leg up, and then wrap a length of rope around it to
keep it in place. When both legs are tied like this and then spread apart, the submissive’s genitals are completely exposed, thus making it the perfect restraint position for a number of BDSM activities, including the use of glass toys and temperature play. The wrists can be bound behind the back with rope or cuffs.

In the case of a male dominant and a female submissive, the dominant may
wish to use a rabbit vibrator or other sex toy (see
#29
) on his submissive’s genitals, providing her with both clitoral and vaginal stimulation while restrained in the frogtie position. He can replicate this double-the-pleasure sensation by gently “brushing” her clitoris with the tip of an electric, vibrating or pulsating toothbrush while simultaneously sliding a finger in and out of her vagina.
Go lightly to gauge her response and see how much pressure to use. And do not insert the toothbrush or bristles inside her vagina, as they could damage the sensitive tissue in that region.

A female dominant can also dish out intense BDSM pleasures to her male submissive while she has him in the frogtie position. She can perform fellatio (see
#41
) or lower her body onto his erection, thus
using him for her own pleasure when he cannot resist her. She can also use sex toys (see
#29
), including a male masturbator like a penis sleeve or penis pump (see
#30
), to exploit his sense of being used, abused and aroused against his will.

35. Crotch Ropes

Like so many sex toys and BDSM gear, the crotch rope has an ugly name, but a beautiful effect. Crotch ropes are used to stimulate a female submissive’s genitals. The rope is tied around her waist and then extended between the legs to rest between the labia to stimulate the clitoris. It can be fastened with as much or as little pressure as the submissive prefers.

Crotch ropes can be worn over or under clothing. Many male dominants will instruct their female submissive to wear a crotch rope between her panties and her clothes for the entire day, as a ritual to build both mental and physical anticipation for evening BDSM sexplay (see
#22
). Crotch ropes also facilitate force fantasies (see
#27
), delayed gratification (see
#3
) and erotic torture and teasing
(see
#33
).

To add even more BDSM flair to the crotch rope, the male dominant can apply it when his submissive is in the suspended or standing position (see
#8
). He can also combine it with the over-arm bondage tie (see
#34
).

36. Sexual Positions & Thrusting Techniques

Despite the arsenal of bondage gear, rubber clothing, whips and chains, sex toys, erotic mind games and rope burns that constitutes BDSM sexplay, there is still room for good old-fashioned sexual intercourse; however, like everything else in BDSM, the focus of penetrative sex is on delivering as much sensory stimulation as possible.
To that end, it is essential that dominants and submissives of both sexes be conscious of how different sexual positions can affect pleasure—specifically, how the angle, depth, speed and force of thrusting can change the way sex feels for both partners.

The ancient sex manual
Kama Sutra
is widely speculated to be a source of BDSM practices. Written in the third century AD, the
Kama Sutra
was written by an Indian sage by the name of Vatsyayana. In it, Vatsyayana describes the “various ways of laying down and the different kinds of congress.” Translation: different sexual positions and thrusting techniques. A number of these BDSM-worthy positions and thrusts are described below.

Positions

Yawning
In this position, the woman lies on her back, raises her thighs, and holds
them apart as her man penetrates her. She can hook her arms around the back of her knees to hold her legs open, or she can rest her legs on her man’s shoulders for support. This position makes a woman’s clitoris accessible to her man, allowing him to stimulate it as he simultaneously thrusts into her. It also gives him a beautiful bird’s-eye view of her bare breasts and body below him.

Rising
The woman raises her legs straight up in the air as her man penetrates her.

Clasping
This is the basic missionary position where both partners stretch their legs straight against each other, lying face-to-face, typically with the man on top. BDSM players can add a little sin to this sweet position by having the woman wrap her legs around the man’s body and either press her nails into his
back or give it a long scratch (see
#14
). A woman can also aggressively lift her pelvis to push up against her partner’s groin, thus establishing her dominant position even when she is on the bottom.

Lotus
In this classic lovemaking position, the man sits cross-legged while his woman sits on his lap and lowers her body onto his erection. She wraps her legs around his body, and her arms around
his neck, using his shoulders as leverage to pump his shaft. The man can also grip his woman’s buttocks to lift her off and on his erection, thereby using her body to stroke it. This position helps in the BDSM practice of delayed gratification (see
#3
) as it does not create as much friction or fury as some other positions.

Pressed
The woman lies on her back and brings her knees to her chest.
The man kneels and penetrates her as she presses her feet against his chest. This position facilitates more physical sex: the harder the woman presses her feet against her man’s chest, the harder he has to work to thrust. For this reason, this is a good position to use during rough sex and force fantasies (see
#27
).

Congress of the Cow
Don’t think about agriculture. And don’t think that anyone
is calling you a cow. Just enjoy what this arrangement has to offer. In this rear-entry position, the woman stands in the bent-over position while her man enters her from behind. She can also get onto her hands and knees. Her man can caress, massage, kiss—or scratch and slap—her back to increase sensation. This position makes a woman’s vagina feel tighter, which is pleasurable for both partners.
It also offers the man an exciting view of his woman’s genitals and backside. Most importantly, it exploits the power imbalance between partners and helps a man reinforce his role as the dominant (see
#2
).

Thrusting Techniques

Churning
To perform this technique, the man stops thrusting and begins to circle his hips, thereby churning his penis inside his woman’s vagina. He can also grip
the base of his penis to churn it inside.

Blow of the Boar
The man uses his penis to stroke both sides of his woman’s vagina.

Piercing
This stroke is achieved when a man thrusts downward (from above) into his woman’s vagina. This thrust grazes the clitoris. It can be performed fast and hard, or slowly and softly, depending on the sexual mood.

Rubbing
Essentially the opposite of
a piercing stroke (as above), the rubbing stroke is achieved when a man thrusts upward into his woman’s vagina.

Pressing
This is a “close thrust” where both partners press their thighs against each other while the man thrusts.

Giving a Blow
This is a “distance thrust” where the man withdraws his penis from his woman’s vagina and then forcibly thrusts into her again. It is suitable for
rough sex and force fantasies (see
#27
).

The Sporting of the Sparrow
This technique involves rhythmic, rapid thrusts wherein the man’s penis does not withdraw from the vagina. This thrusting style often foreshadows male orgasm.

Both male and female dominants can use different thrusting techniques to exert orgasm control (see
#28
) over their submissive partner. The male dominant can use
different angles, depths and speeds to control the ebb and flow of his woman’s arousal.

The female dominant can order her male submissive to perform certain thrusting styles to control his level of arousal and exercise orgasm control. For example, she might order him to perform a sequence like this:

1. Four churning strokes—to stir arousal or slow things down

2. Six pressing strokes—for
slow, deep penetration

3. Eight giving-a-blow strokes—for fast and furious friction on his shaft

4. Two pressing strokes—to briefly return to deep, pleasurable penetration

5. Fifteen sporting-of-the-sparrow strokes—to make him reach orgasm