59 Seconds: Think a Little, Change a Lot (3 page)

In short, when it comes to an instant fix for everyday happiness, certain types of writing have a surprisingly quick and large impact. Expressing gratitude, thinking about a perfect future, and affectionate writing have been scientifically proven to work—and all they require is a pen, a piece of paper, and a few moments of your time.

IN 59 SECONDS

To help you incorporate effective writing techniques into your life, I have put together a rather unusual diary. Instead of keeping a record of the past, this diary encourages you to write about topics that will help create a happier future. The diary should be completed on five days of the week, with each entry taking just a few moments. Maintain the diary for one week. According to scientific studies, you should quickly notice the difference in mood and happiness, changes that may persist for months.
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If you feel the effects wearing off, simply repeat the exercise.

Monday: Thanksgiving

There are many things in your life for which to be grateful. These might include having close friends, being in a wonderful relationship, benefiting from sacrifices that others have made for you, being part of a supportive family, and enjoying good health, a nice home, or enough food on the table. Alternatively, you might have a job that you love, have happy memories of the past, or recently have had a nice experience, such as savoring an especially lovely cup of coffee, enjoying the smile of a stranger, having your dog welcome you home, eating a great meal, or stopping to smell the flowers. Think back over the past week and list three of these things.

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Tuesday: Terrific Times

Think about one of the most wonderful experiences in your life. Perhaps a moment when you felt suddenly contented, were in love, listened to an amazing piece of music, saw an incredible performance, or had a great time with friends. Choose just one experience and imagine yourself back in that moment in time. Remember how you felt and what was going on around you. Now spend a few moments writing a description of that experience and how you felt. Do not worry about your spelling, punctuation, or grammar. Instead, simply commit your thoughts to paper.

Wednesday: Future Fantastic

Spend a few moments writing about your life in the future. Imagine that everything has gone really well. Be realistic, but imagine that you have worked hard and achieved all of your aims and ambitions. Imagine that you have become the person that you really want to be, and that your personal and professional life feels like a dream come true. All of this may not help you achieve your goals, but it will help you feel good and put a smile on your face.

Thursday: Dear …

Think about someone in your life who is very important to you. It might be your partner, a close friend, or a family member. Imagine that you have only one opportunity to tell this person how important they are to you. Write a short letter to this person, describing how much you care for them and the impact that they have had on your life.

Friday: Reviewing the Situation

Think back over the past seven days and make a note of three things that went really well for you. The events might be fairly trivial, such as finding a parking space, or more important, such as being offered a new job or opportunity. Jot down a sentence about why you think each event turned out so well.

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THE POWER OF PURCHASES

Out of the blue, two words suddenly pop into your mind: “retail” and “therapy.” Seconds later, you find yourself heading to the nearest shoe shop or gadget emporium, convinced that your forthcoming purchases will lead to a more blissful existence. But is that really the case? Will you actually feel better after you have bought that new pair of shoes or the latest high-tech music player? And, if so, just how long will your newfound joy last? The results from recent research have yielded clear and consistent answers to these questions. Perhaps more important, they have also revealed the wisest way to spend your money in order to put a smile on your face.

Psychologists Leaf Van Boven and Thomas Gilovich
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examined whether, when attempting to buy happiness, you are better off spending your money on goods (that latest dress or an impressive new smartphone) or an experience (going out for a meal, buying a ticket for a concert, or booking a vacation). In one study the duo conducted a national survey in which people were asked first to think of an object or experience that they had bought with the aim of increasing their happiness, and then to rate the degree to which the purchase had cheered them up. In another experiment, the researchers randomly divided people into two groups, asked one group to think about an object they had recently bought and the other to describe an experiential purchase, and then asked both groups to rate their current mood on two scales, one ranging from −4 (bad) to +4 (good) and another ranging from −4 (sad) to +4 (happy). The results from both studies clearly indicated that in terms of short- and long-term happiness, buying experiences made people feel better than buying products.

Why? Our memory of experiences easily becomes distorted over time (you edit out the terrible trip on the airplane and just remember those blissful moments relaxing on the beach). Our goods, however, tend to lose their appeal by becoming old, worn-out, and outdated. Also, experiences promote one of the most effective happiness-inducing behaviors—spending time with others. Sociability might be part of the experience itself, or it might happen when you tell people about the occasion afterward. In contrast, buying the latest or most expensive new product can sometimes isolate you from friends and family who may be jealous of the things that you have.

But choosing experiences over goods is only part of the story when trying to buy happiness. Time for a quick questionnaire.
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Take a few moments to read the following ten statements and assign each of them a rating indicating the degree to which it describes you. Don’t spend too long thinking about each statement. Just answer honestly—and no peeking at the answers.

Assign each item a rating between 1 (“strongly disagree”) and 5 (“strongly agree”).

Now add up your ratings. Low scores are between 10 and 20, medium scores between 21 and 39, and high scores between 40 and 50.

It may come as no great surprise that this questionnaire is designed to measure your level of materialism. People who obtain high scores clearly tend to place a great deal of importance on the acquisition of possessions, frequently view such items as central to their happiness, and judge their own success, and the success of others, on the basis of what they have. In contrast, those with low scores value experiences and relationships more than possessions. As is so often the case, those with middling scores are of little interest to anyone.

Researchers have spent a great deal of time looking at the link between people’s scores on these types of questionnaires and happiness.
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The findings are as consistent as they are worrisome—high scores tend to be associated with feeling unhappy and unsatisfied with life. Of course, this is not the case with every single materialist, so if you did get a high score, you might be one of the happy-go-lucky people who buck the trend. (However, before adopting that viewpoint, bear in mind that studies carried out by psychologists also
suggest that whenever we are confronted with negative results from tests, we prove to be extremely good at convincing ourselves that we are an exception to the rule.)

So what explains this general trend? You might think that the answer lies in the financial consequences of continually having to have the latest thing. But in fact the problem is not about the spending of money per se. It’s about who benefits from the cash.

Materialists tend to be somewhat self-centered. Studies show that when presented with a hypothetical $40,000, materialists spend, on average, three times as much on things for themselves as they do on things for others. Also, when they are asked to rate statements about the degree to which they care for others (“I enjoy having guests stay in my house,” “I often lend things to my friends”), they end up giving far more self-centered responses. As research by Elizabeth Dunn, from the University of British Columbia, shows, seen from the perspective of happiness, this self-centeredness can have a detrimental effect on people’s happiness.

Dunn and her colleagues have conducted several studies on the relationship between income, spending, and happiness.
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In one national survey, participants were asked to rate their happiness, state their income, and provide a detailed breakdown of the amount spent on gifts for themselves, gifts for others, and donations to charity. In another study Dunn measured the happiness and spending patterns of employees before and after they each received a profit-sharing bonus of between $3,000 and $8,000. Time and again, the same pattern emerged. Those who spent a higher percentage of their income on others were far happier than those who spent it on themselves.

Of course, a skeptical materialist might argue that researchers have the direction of causality wrong, that it is not spending
money on others that makes you happy but rather it is that happy people spend more on others. It is an interesting point, and one tackled in a clever experiment conducted by Dunn and her team. In a simple but innovative study, participants were given an envelope containing either $5 or $20 and asked to spend the money by five o’clock that evening. They were randomly assigned to one of two groups. One group was instructed to spend the money on themselves (perhaps treating themselves to a self-indulgent present), while the second group was asked to spend their unexpected windfall on someone else (perhaps purchasing a present for a friend or family member). The predictions made by the “happy people spend more on themselves” brigade proved unfounded. In fact, participants who spent the money on their friends and family ended up feeling significantly happier than those who treated themselves to luxury gifts.

Why should this be the case? The answer, it seems, lies deep within your brain. Macroeconomist William Harbaugh from the University of Oregon and colleagues
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gave participants $ 100 in a virtual bank account and asked them to lie in a brain scanner. Participants first saw some of their money being given to help those in need via a mandatory taxation; they were then asked to decide whether to donate some of their remaining balance to charity or keep it for themselves. The scanning results revealed that two evolutionarily ancient regions deep in the brain—the caudate nucleus and the nucleus accumbens—became active when participants witnessed some of their money going to those in need, and were especially busy when they donated money voluntarily. These two brain regions also spring into action when our most basic needs are met, such as when we eat tasty food or feel valued by others, suggesting a direct brain-based link between helping others and happiness.

So, scientifically speaking, if you want some real retail therapy, help yourself by helping others. It has a direct effect on your brain that in turn makes you feel happier.

Of course, you might argue that you really don’t have enough money to donate to others. Once again, however, help is at hand. A few years ago happiness researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky and her colleagues arranged for a group of participants to perform five nonfinancial acts of kindness each week for six weeks.
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These were simple things, such as writing a thank-you note, giving blood, or helping a friend. Some of the participants performed one of the acts each day, while others carried out all five on the same day. Those who performed their kind acts each day showed a small increase in happiness. However, those who carried out all their acts of kindness on just one day each week increased their happiness by an incredible 40 percent.

IN 59 SECONDS