59 Seconds: Think a Little, Change a Lot (4 page)

Buy Experiences, Not Goods.

Want to buy happiness? Then spend your hard-earned cash on experiences. Go out for a meal. Go to a concert, movie, or the theater. Go on vacation. Go and learn how to pole dance. Go play paintball. Go bungee jumping. In fact, get involved in anything that provides an opportunity to do things with others, and then tell even more people about it afterward. When it comes to happiness, remember, it is experiences that represent really good value for the money.

‘Tis Better to Give Than to Receive.

Long-term happiness is not just about gyrating around a pole to raunchy music or plummeting toward the ground while screaming like a baby. Ask people whether they will be happier after spending money on themselves or others, and the vast majority will check the “me” box. The science shows that exactly the opposite is true—people become much happier after providing for others rather than themselves. The good news is that you really do not have to divert a huge proportion of your income to charity, friends, family, and colleagues. In fact, the smallest gifts can quickly result in surprisingly large and long-lasting changes in happiness. A few dollars spent on others may be one of the best investments that you ever make. And if you really can’t afford to donate your hard-earned cash, remember that carrying out five nonfinancial acts of kindness on a single day also provides a significant boost to happiness.

   
THE ROOTS OF MATERIALISM

What makes people materialistic? Is a love of possessions the result of personality, childhood experiences, or events later in life? According to research by psychologists Lan Nguyen Chaplin and Deborah Roedder John, materialism takes root in early childhood, and is driven mainly by low self-esteem.
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In a two-part study, the researchers first arranged for a group of children between the ages of eight and eighteen to complete a standard self-esteem questionnaire (rating statements such as “I am happy with the way I look”). Next, they presented the children with display boards containing lots of images relating to five general topics: hobbies (such as “camping,” “skateboarding”), sports (“soccer,” “tennis”), material things (“new shoes,” “my own computer”), people (“friends,” “teacher”), and achievements (“getting good grades,” “learning to play an instrument”). The children were asked to look at the boards and use any of the images to create a collage around the theme “What makes me happy.” This fun task allowed the researchers to calculate each child’s level of materialism by counting the percentage of images that each child took from the “material things” display board. The results revealed a strong link between self-esteem and materialism, with children who were low in self-esteem being far more materialistic than their friends.

But could the cause and effect be the other way around? Could materialism cause low self-esteem? To test this possibility, the researchers had a group of children write nice things about one another on paper plates, and then they presented each child his or her very own plateful of praise and positivity. This simple “nice things about me” plate significantly increased the children’s self-esteem and, more important, subsequently caused them to halve the number of materialistic images that they used when creating their “What makes me happy” collage. All of these results add up to compelling evidence that low self-esteem causes materialistic tendencies and that such tendencies take root at a very young age. The good news is that the work also demonstrates that just like spending a small amount of money on others or carrying out a few acts of kindness, it takes only a few seconds and a paper plate to change the way people think and behave.

HAPPINESS IS A PENCIL

People behave in highly predictable ways when they experience certain emotions and thoughts. When they are sad, they cry. When they are happy, they smile. When they agree, they nod their heads. So far, no surprises, but according to an area of research known as “proprioceptive psychology,” the process also works in reverse. Get people to behave in a certain way and you cause them to feel certain emotions and have certain thoughts. The idea was initially controversial, but fortunately it was supported by a series of compelling experiments.
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In a now classic study, people in one group were asked to furrow their brows (or, as the researchers put it, “contract their corrugator muscle”), while those in another group were asked to adopt a slight grin (“extend their zygomaticus muscle”). This simple act of facial contortion had a surprisingly large effect on participants’ moods, with the grinning group feeling far happier than those who were frowning.

Participants in a different study were asked to fixate on various products moving across a large computer screen and then indicate whether the items appealed to them.
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Some of the items moved vertically (causing the participants to nod their heads while watching), and others moved horizontally (resulting in a side-to-side head movement). Participants preferred vertically moving products without being aware that their “yes” and “no” head movements had played a key role in their decisions.

Exactly the same idea applies to happiness. People smile when they are happy, but they also feel happier because they are smiling. The effect even works when people are not aware that they are smiling. In the 1980s, Fritz Strack and his colleagues asked two groups of people to judge how funny they
found Gary Larson’s
The Far Side
cartoons and then rate how happy they felt, in one of two rather bizarre circumstances.
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One group was asked to hold a pencil between their teeth, but to ensure that it did not touch their lips. The other group supported the end of the pencil with just their lips, but not their teeth. Without realizing it, those in the “teeth only” condition had forced the lower part of their faces into a smile, while those in the “lips only” condition had made themselves frown. The results revealed that the participants tended to experience the emotion associated with their expressions. Those who had their faces forced into a smile felt happier and found the
Far Side
cartoons much funnier than those who were forced to frown. Other work has demonstrated that this increase in happiness does not immediately drain away when people cease smiling.
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It lingers, affecting many aspects of their behavior, including interacting with others in a more positive way and being more likely to remember happy life events.

The message from this type of work is simple: if you want to cheer yourself up, behave like a happy person.

IN 59 SECONDS

Smile.

There are a number of happiness-inducing behaviors that can be quickly incorporated into your everyday life. Most important of all, smile more. This shouldn’t be a brief, unfelt smile that ends in the blink of an eye. Instead, research suggests that you should try to maintain the expression for between fifteen and thirty seconds. To make the grin as convincing as possible, try to imagine a situation that would elicit a genuine smile. Perhaps you have just met a good
friend, heard a hilarious joke, or found out that your mother-in-law isn’t coming to visit after all. Also, consider creating a signal to remind you to smile regularly. Set your watch, computer, or PDA to beep on the hour, or use a more random cue, such as your telephone ringing.

Sit Up.

Your posture is equally important. In a study conducted by Tomi-Ann Roberts at Colorado College, participants were randomly split into two groups and asked to spend three minutes either sitting up straight or slumping in their chairs.
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Everyone was then given a math test and asked to assess their mood. Those who had sat upright were much happier than those who had slouched, and they even made higher scores on the math test. Interestingly, the result didn’t hold for many of the female participants, causing Roberts to speculate that the act of sitting upright and pushing their chests forward may have made them feel self-conscious.

Act Happy.

Research by Peter Borkenau from Bielefeld University and others has revealed that happy people move in a very different way than unhappy people do.
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You can use this information to increase your sense of happiness by acting like a happy person. Try walking in a more relaxed way, swinging your arms slightly more and putting more of a spring in your step. Also, try making more expressive hand gestures during conversations, nod your head more when others are speaking, wear more colorful clothing, use positively charged emotional words more (especially “love,” “like,” and “fond”), use fewer self-references (“me,” “myself,” and “I”), have a larger variation in the pitch of your voice, speak slightly faster, and have a significantly firmer handshake. Incorporating these behaviors into your everyday actions will enhance your happiness.

   
PUTTING IN THE EFFORT

According to researchers Kenneth Sheldon and Sonja Lyubomirsky, happiness does not come easily.
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In several experiments, the duo recruited participants who had recently experienced one of two types of change in their life. The first type, labeled “circumstantial change,” involved relatively important alterations to their overall circumstances, including, for example, moving, getting a raise, or buying a new car. The second type, labeled “intentional change,” involved changes that required effort to pursue a goal or initiate an activity, including, for example, joining a new club, starting a new hobby, or embarking on a different career. Both sets of participants were asked to rate their happiness levels for several weeks. The results consistently showed that although people in both groups experienced an immediate increase in happiness, those who had experienced a circumstantial change quickly reverted back to their initial levels, while those who had made an intentional change remained happier for a much longer period of time. Why?

According to Sheldon and Lyubomirsky, it is the result of a phenomenon known as “hedonistic habituation.” Unsurprisingly, humans derive a great deal of enjoyment from any new form of positive experience. However, give them the same wonderful experience time and again and they quickly become familiar with their new source of joy and so cease to derive anywhere near as much pleasure from it. Unfortunately, circumstantial changes frequently produce hedonistic habituation. Although the initial thrill of a new house, a raise, or a new car is wonderful, the positive feelings caused by the change tend to be the same day after day, and so the initial enjoyment quickly fades away. In contrast, intentional changes tend to avoid hedonistic habituation by creating a constantly changing psychological landscape. Whether it is starting a new hobby, joining an organization, initiating a project, meeting new people, or learning a novel skill, the brain is fed with ever-changing positive experiences that prevent habituation and so prolong happiness.

So, to maximize happiness, choose intentional change over circumstantial change. Make the effort to start a new hobby, begin a major project, or try a sport that you have never tried before. Choose activities that fit your personality, values, and abilities. It might help to think about what you already enjoy doing, identify the core elements that make this activity so pleasurable, and try other activities involving the same elements. If, for example, you enjoy drawing, try taking up water-colors. If you like playing tennis, consider taking up badminton or squash. If you are good at Sudoku, try turning your hand to crossword puzzles. Whatever you decide to pursue, make a real effort to change what you do and when you do it. It may sound like hard work, but research suggests that when it comes to happiness, it is well worth the effort.

persuasion

Why
rewards
fail,
how to give the
flawless
interview,
improve your social life by making
mistakes
,
never
lose your wallet
again, and
convince anyone of anything by using your
pet frog

HOW DO YOU PERSUADE
a child to complete a homework assignment, an employee to perform better in the workplace, or people to care more about the environment? Many believe that the most effective way is to dangle the biggest possible carrot in front of their noses. But does research suggest this is really an incentive, or is it just a myth?

In one famous study, Stanford psychologist Mark Lepper and colleagues asked two groups of schoolchildren to have fun creating some drawings.
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Before being allowed to play with the crayons and paper, one group was told that they would receive an elaborate “good player” medal for drawing, while the other group was not promised any reward. A few weeks later the researchers returned, handed out drawing paper and crayons, and measured how much the children played with them. Surprisingly, the children who had received the medals on the first occasion spent significantly less time drawing than their classmates did.