7 Degrees of Alpha (a collection of seven new BWWM, Alpha Male Romances) (43 page)

              Macy’s eyes beam with excitement. “Actually, we are. Our seasonal worker just left, so we’re currently accepting applications. Do you have any experience in housekeeping or hosting?”

              “Yes!” I answer quickly. “I’ve waitressed and hosted at a busy diner in New York for two years.”

              “New York! How exciting! What brings you down here?”

              “I just needed a change,” I say half-truthfully.

              “So you must know Jaxon from when he was a police officer in New York?”

              I nod. “Yes, that’s where we met.”

              “Well, let me not keep you waiting. I’ll just go and get an application from ‘round back,” Macy says before leaving the podium to head to a back room.

              Soon after, she came back with an application in hand. “Here you go. As soon as you fill it out, definitely bring it back.”

              “Thank you very much.”

              “You’re welcome. See you soon.”

              Overcome with happiness, I hop back into the cab and give the driver the directions that Macy gave me.

-Jaxon-

The sun was beginning to set, signaling the end of my shift.

Just in time
, I thought as I placed another sixty-pound bag of seeds over my shoulder. After leveling the ground for seeding, rounding up and feeding my livestock, and running into town to purchase two hundred bags of seeds for the upcoming harvest, I was ready to put an end to my fourteen-hour shift.

I raise my shoulder and tilt my head to the side to rub the sweat from my head. As I dump the last bag on top of the pile, I stretch my arms up and roll my shoulder around in a circular motion.

              My life here on the ranch has not always been so structured. After my career as a police officer had ended prematurely, and I came to terms with the realization that Ashley was not coming down to Madison, I went through a dry spell here on the ranch.

Most of my days consisted of pushing myself to the max as I did rigorous exercises. I set out to prove the force wrong about making that fateful decision to end my career. Deep down inside, I knew that my greatest battle was really with myself. There was no way in hell that I was going to accept being incapacitated. Fuck no! Not at twenty-nine! So I allowed my anger to fuel my every move.

As the months went by, I became more unbearable…a complete asshole. At times, I didn’t even recognize myself. It wasn’t until Uncle James, and I had a heart-to-heart did I realize the importance of maintaining the family ranch. 

             
It had become customary for us to be on the porch. He’d sit down with his old pipe hanging off of his lips, and I’d be doing one-arm push-ups. As the sun began to set and the sounds of crickets began chirping, Uncles James felt the need to spring up a conversation.

“You need to let her go,” Uncle James says as he sat on his rocking chair.

At first, I ignore his comment. I even went as far as cussing her out in my thoughts. But, as silence renders between us, I know that he’s right. Finally, I touch upon a topic that I thought I’d never talk about—what happened between Ashley and me.

“How can I let her go when I know that her place is with me? Fuck, if I could’ve tossed her over my shoulder and brought her here, I would have. But I love her too much not to let her chase her dreams. I love her too much to stand in her way.”

“So, she made her choice.”

“It’s not like I gave her much of a choice,” I admit as I recall the night that I left. I’d given her an ultimatum…New York or me. Even down to the last hour, I waited for her, searching for every face that entered the airport gate that I waited in. But she never came.

Thoughts of the past rile me up, causing me to push harder as I began doing one-arm pushups again. 

“Well then, son, you made your choice. Now live with it,” Uncle James says as he puffs on his pipe. 

“Do you think I really want to hear that shit? Can’t you see that I’m paying for it right now? I left the one woman who had my heart and soul all because I couldn’t come to terms with the fact that my career was over.”  

“I know that you came down here with all your problems and what not, but you need to let it go, son. So what if your life didn’t pan out the way you expected it to. Move on. When your parent’s died, I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to raise no kid, especially one who was street smart and had a Yankee attitude. It wasn’t like I wanted kids either. But then you came, and my life suddenly changed. All I had to offer you was this here ranch. All I could teach you was how my pappy raised your father and me. It wasn’t easy, but you and I made out okay. It taught me one thing; change is not always bad.”

              “I don’t see the good in any of this. You know…” I sat up and looked up at him. “…eventually, I would’ve lived with the fact that I had to leave the force. But to not have my woman at my side, that’s a whole other problem in its self. Uncle James, I planned on marrying her. Had the ring picked out and everything. Earlier that day, before I got shot, I had just made the final payment.”

              “Did she know that?” Uncle James asks.

              “No,” I respond standing to my feet. I brush my fingers into my hair. “I refused to propose to her until I made it back on the force. With my shoulder being fucked up, I couldn’t see myself asking her to be my wife when I was no longer a whole man for her.”

              “And what’s stopping you now?”

              “Love.”             

              And here I am, standing in front of the shed overlooking a hundred acres of vast land that I’m now responsible for. Like my uncle, when change came around, I just drove my energy into this ranch. Life did not pan out, but I still had something to hold on to. I still had my days, and that’s when a trip to Kisses At The Pub was a must.   

              “Jax!”

              I look toward the house. The sun temporary blinds me, but I could hear the urgency in Uncle James’s voice. With the inner part of my hand, I create a hood over my eyes to shield away the sun rays that have been beaming all damn day. Although unclear, I see Uncle James waving his hands back in forth like he was sending out a distress signal.

              I call out to him, “Is everything okay?”

              “Come to the house!”

              I wave my hand back up at him before hopping into my pickup truck. I bring it to a stop beside the house and meet Uncle James’s gaze the moment I approach the back porch steps.

              “What’s going on?” I ask as I lift my shirt off and over my head. Walking past him, I enter the kitchen.  

              “Some black girl is on our porch,” he says as I wash my hands and splash water over my face.

              “
Black
girl?” I question as I reach for the towel to dry my hands.

              “Yeah, she’s asked for you. She looks like trouble if you ask me.”

I toss the towel across the table after dabbing away the excess water from my face. “Everyone looks like trouble to you.”

              “She’s on the porch,” he repeats.

              I glance over my shoulder at my uncle, telling him, “I got you,” as I head towards the front door.

              All of the blood drains from my face the moment I round the corner and see her on the other side of the screen. “Ashley?”

              Her gaze follows the sweat that glides over my midriff. She pulls her eyes away and releases a soft groan. As her eyes meet mine finally, I’m captivated once again. That’s how she got me the first time; those damn brown eyes!

“H- Hi, Jax,” she fumbles on her words.

“Come in.” I open the screen door and allow her in, sweeping my gaze over her body with much appreciation. “Do you want anything to drink?” I ask as I lead her into the living room.

“I’ll have a water,” she says softly.

I nod my head before heading to the kitchen.
What the hell is she doing here?

“Who is she?” Uncle James asks me as I pull out a water bottle from the refrigerator.

“Her name is Ashley.”

“You know this girl?” Uncle James asks in disbelief.

              “Yeah, she’s the woman I was going marry.” Anger soon follows, but, this time, relentless and unforgiving. Usually, I could drive myself to work out or invest that energy into rounding up the cattle in the field. But things were different. This is personal.

              “A black girl?” he asks from behind as I exit the kitchen.

It’s no secret; my uncle is the typical southern man who was raised in the fifties. Although he never spoke about hatred towards another race, finding out that the woman I’ve been moping over is African-American took him by surprise.

“What are you doing here?” I ask when I reenter the room and hand her over the water bottle. Taking a seat across from her, I fight the urge to reach out and touch her pillow soft lips with the tips of my finger. But the more I look at her—like really examine her— I could tell that there was something different about her. My eyes shift to her duffle bag that was beside her feet.

“I’m not sure.” She brushes her hair behind her ear as she shifts in her seat. “This is a mistake. I’m sorry for coming here,” Ashley mutters as she rose to her feet.

“After all this time, you decide to show up at my doorsteps, and this is the shit you tell me?”

“Why are you so angry?”

“Angry?” I point to my chest. “You haven’t seen my anger.” She’s getting to me; I can practically feel my blood sizzling with anger. “It’s too late to respond back to the letter I sent you.”

“I’m sorry,” she says, looking away. “I had a lot going on.”

“Like what? What could’ve possibly gone wrong with you?” It comes out sarcastically, but I’m truly curious about the happenings in her life since I left.

“I’ve had enough of this,” she grumbles as she stands.

“What’s with the limp?” I ask, noticing the abnormal gait. I stand too; this time, more concerned with her. “Come sit back down and let me check your ankle.”

              Ashley cuts her eyes back at me with fear clouding her gaze. “No. I’m fine. I just had a little accident back in Brooklyn.”

              I read her eyes, knowing that there is more to this injury than she is letting off. For starters, I can tell when she’s nervous. She has a way of averting her eyes away from me. And then it is the way she twirls her hair in her fingers around the nape of her neck—much like she’s doing now.

Against my better judgment, I decide not to press further. But that doesn’t stop me from brushing her hair away from her face. God knows how much I want to kiss her. With her being so near and my cock excited to reunite with the only woman who knew how to fuck me right, I damn near forget about all of the anger that I have built up inside.

“Why is your cheek swollen?” I ask as I lift her hair up from her face.

She moves away from my reach and backs up. “I have to go.”

“Where are you going?” I ask, taking a step closer to her. “Ashley, you came here for a reason.”

“I thought I did. But now I know I’ve made a mistake.”

I feel compelled to say it. “Stay.  We have a guest room with its own private bathroom.”

“Jax,” she brings her voice to a soft whisper. “I don’t think that’ll be a good idea.” She exhales, shifting the duffle bag over her shoulder. “You and I have history together.”

              “You knew that before you came here, yet you came anyway.”

              Ashley crosses her arms over her chest while her face bunches up with displeasure. This is the Ashley I remember; sweet, but quick enough to show her fiery side. “Well, now I’ve decided to go. I realize I made a mistake, and now I’m trying to correct it. It’ll be great if you could move so that I can be on my way.” 

              I take a step closer to her, making my statement undoubtedly clear. “No.”

She blinks back as if in shock. “No?”

“You and I both know that you came here for a reason. Only you know the truth as to why.”

She opens her mouth, then shuts it. Instead, she drops her duffle bag beside our feet. “You’re right. I came here needing to remember.”

“Remember what?” I ask.

“I need to remember the last time when I felt safe and loved. But…”

“But what?” I ask, needing to know where she stands.

“Things are different.
We’re
different. I’m sure you moved on with your life after us.”

“I had no choice,” I admit. But even now I’m not too sure if I
really
moved on.  “Where are you going to be staying at?” I press, annoyed that I even give a fuck.

Ashley’s eyes cut low, bringing her lids to thin slits. “That’s none of your business.” She steps around me, picking her bag up in the process.

I frown, not understanding why she went through the trouble of coming only to run out just as quick.

Despite her swollen cheek, Ashley’s even more beautiful than I remember. She still had those beautiful, liquid brown eyes that I always got lost in and these beautiful delicate features that remind me of an African goddess.

Ashley had always been curvy, but now weight had filled her in perfectly, making her thick. What was even sexier about her was her naturalness to be wildly beautiful and confident. It had always been a trait that I was drawn to, especially since she rarely needed any reassurance about anything. When Ashley entered my life, she bought the color that I needed in my dullness.

              “I’m sorry for coming here,” she says as she walks towards the door.

This time, I don’t stop her, and I soon hear the door slam behind her.

“We’ll see each other I again.”

After hearing a car door slam, I walk over to the living room window and look out to see if I could spot her rental car. Nope, she came in a cab. Nothing made sense, no matter which way I put it. Brushing past Uncle James, I enter the laundry room that’s near the kitchen and pull out a white t-shirt from the dryer and put it on.