99 Palms: Horn OK Please (12 page)

“Wow! That’s right. That bugger freaked us out! That’s exactly what he said. This is what he meant. It’s all coming together now, Dude!” exclaimed Goose, almost jumping out of his chair.

Exact location of the ridge to enter the Ley Line:

“Coming back, Uzki, so it’s a clear indication that the River Ganges is where the ridge exists. So it corroborates the facts stated by Monica and Geri. But where exactly would it be? The river's huge, so where exactly must we go to if we have to find it?” quizzed Hound, making sure that Uzki’s attention remained focused on him.

“OK, in her notes to me, Geri mentioned that she told you all that there are exactly 234 pillars in the inner railing and that there are120 pillars in the outer railing. Also, the square railing on top of the Stupa, the harmika, has seven posts on each side, making a total of 28 posts making up the harmika in the Great Stupa 1. Right?” said Uzki as she opened her laptop and turned the screen to show us the pictures of the Great Stupa 1.

We stared at the screen not knowing what to expect or say. “Yes, that’s one of the unsolved mysteries”, I said, wondering if she could help us crack it.

“Now, if one were to look at all the numbers that Dr. Geri threw up before she gave up, we have a pattern here. A pattern that could potentially give us the exact physical location not of Shambala, for there is none, but the physical coordinates of the place where the ridge formation would occur. This ridge would be the gateway to Shambala. So I did a few calculations. Let me explain” said Uzki as she opened up her Microsoft Excel Workbook to show what she’d done.

The Outer railing at Sanchi deciphered:

Pointing to the picture of the Great Stupa 1 of Sanchi in the screen she said, “Consider this for the Outer railing of the Great Sanchi Stupa, if we take into account the 120 pillars that support the outer railing, the 28 pillars that go about defining the
harmika
or the square railing on top of the dome that holds the three umbrellas and link it with the 1 Ashoka pillar that is broken we may have something here if we take into account the 12 months of a calendar year. Since the alignment is with the sun and the four seasons to complete one year, we cannot ignore the custom of 4 circumambulations to the outer railing and 2 for the inner railings. Multiply that to the year”

Flipping over to the her workings she explained, “So here’s the math for the Outer railings, (120 pillars + 28 pillars of harmika + 3 umbrellas + 1 Ashoka pillar)X2 circumambulations would give us a figure of 304. Now we divide this by the 12 months of the calendar year, we get a figure of
25.3333
. Park this number for me please, Hound?”

She was making more and more sense with every passing minute.

The Inner railing at Sanchi deciphered:

“Similarly, for the Inner railing. If we consider what Geri said, there are 227 pillars in the inner railing with 7 pillars on the railing on top of the stairs. We consider the 1 Ashoka Pillar and 3 umbrellas again as we did for the outer railing to relate the two. Since there are 4 gates to the inner railing, we consider them as well for calculations. Since the Stupa is defined on the four cardinal points or directions, we take 7 pillars of the harmika to point to one direction. Just like our previous calculation, we take into account the 12 months of the calendar year and 4 perambulations of the Great Stupa”, said Uzki as she took the stirrer from her glass and pointed at the workings.

“Behold! You now have the calculations for the Inner Railing as (227 pillars + 7 pillars of stairs + 1 Ashoka pillar + 3 umbrellas  + 7 pillars of harmika)X4 circumambulations that gives us 996. Now we divide this by the 12 months of the calendar year, we get a figure of
83.0000
. Note down this number as well for me, Hound?” said Uzki as Hound obediently did her bidding.

Goose and Derek were trying to stare hard at the screen as the numbers seem to float around them. It was evident from the look on their face. I was no wiser.

“Now here’s another bomber! If you choose to ignore the 4 circumambulations and 12 months of the calendar year, just divide our calculations by the 3 Stupas of Sanchi, we still get the same result!” said Uzki, looking around as if expecting a round of applause.

The coordinates for the ridge to Shambala:

Trying her best to keep things simple for us to understand, Uzki explained, “We have two numbers here,
25.3333 and 83.0000
, right? If you recall, Monica had mentioned that all ridges would always be where a water body is. We concluded from what you saw in Temple 45 at Sanchi that the water body in question is Ganga. Which other source could be holier and purest for ridge formation that would lead you to the Ley lines to Shambala?”

Hound nodded as if he understood everything. Derek blinked.

“What I mean to say is, Emperor Ashoka was a very wise and intelligent man. He chose Sanchi for a reason because he knew that it is the strongest Nexus Point in India and Sanchi is located at exactly Latitude 23.482561° N, Longitude 77.740631° E. So I dare say that these two numbers are coordinates” said Uzki in a soft voice as her magic with numbers slowly started to enter four thick skulls.

“You mean the precise coordinates of the ridge point is 25.3333°N and 83.0000°E? Really!” exclaimed Derek in surprise. She had carpet bombed our senses with her logical brain.

“Bingo! Now the next point I would like to tell you is that the Ridge for you to go to Shambala would open on a Buddha Purnima and the precise location for the same will be at Dhamek Stupa in Sarnath, an ancient place of Buddhist worship, a sacred place”, Uzki continued.

“Wow! This is mind blowing. Uzki, you’re a genius!” I said, unable to hold back my respect for her as I gulped down my Vodka.

“Since the Ganges is up north of Sanchi, yes, the coordinates are perfect. The precise coordinates for Dhamek Stupa in Sarnath, which is near the shores of Ganges river is 25.3811° N, 83.0214° E. We cracked it!” Uzki clapped as she completed her sentence.

“We got it! A bottle of your finest Champagne for us over here, Dude, we’re celebrating!” ordered Goose as this was the moment which we all had been waiting for quite some time now. We knew exactly where to find the ridge and we could drive down to that place. Derek excused himself and left the table to make a phone call.

I saw Derek talking excitedly on the phone to someone. He sure was a softie when it came to Geri, I was sure he was talking to her, making her a happy woman, telling her that her two unsolved mysteries had been solved, validated and nailed.

It was simply amazing how this whole adventure had started at Kalinga and one clue led to another as we got help from a network of brilliant women.

Hound was a happy man tonight, finally, after a long time he was not fiddling with his soul-pebble. He had hit off well with Uzki.

Ah! The treasures of Shambala await us, the glory of adventure beckons.

***
 

CHAPTER ELEVEN

***

Roses are red and violets are blue,

I wish unlimited riches for me & you;

We’ve been rummaging through crazy stuff to make sense,

The greed for gold burning inside us, a feeling so intense;

“We want it all”, Chief Redbull has spoken,

We went hammer & tongs at it, our spirits unbroken;

With no time for sleep, no patience for slumber;

Helped by intelligent minds, wiser, at least not more dumber;

They say Paradise is not easy to find,

It’s not just a place, it’s a state of mind;

Shambala exists, they say it’s the lost world of eternal wisdom;

A city of knowledge, health & money, a supernatural Kingdom;

The Nine Unknown are the keepers, they are the wise ones,

We’re not evolved, we’re the morons, we just need gold in tons;

A place of mythical beasts, a place full so sublime,

We’d get there soon, it’s all a matter of time;

No more worries, no more working for a livin’,

We believe in the joys of wealth, the fun of givin’;

If smiles and Imagination make you say ‘Cheese’

Drive on, for that’s the philosophy of Horn OK Please…

***

Substantiating the conclusion:

“Wait, there’re more to it. Just to be sure, I just calculated the distance between Sanchi Stupa and Dhamek Stupa by punching in these coordinates at
http://jan.ucc.nau.edu/~cvm/latlongdist.html/
. This calculates the distance between two points while it assumes the earth is a perfect sphere with a radius of 6378.0 km. I just didn’t want to take any chances, Hound” said Uzki as Hound look at her in admiration.

She was thorough in her calculation, what’s more, she made sure there were no loopholes to ensure we had everything covered. There cannot be room for mistakes here.

“Coincidentally, the recorded, official distance between Sanchi and Sarnath is 690 Kilometers. The Distance between 25.3811N 83.0214E and 23.482561N 77.740631E is exactly

575.3501 kms. In those days, they used to measure distance in
yojanas
like we do in kilometers. 6.9 Kilometers make a
yojana
per
Vedic
measure of distances used in ancient India, so we’re talking less than 100
yojanas
to be covered”, said Uzki, smiling triumphantly as she pointed once again to her calculations.

She’d been nice, she’d spared us other horrendous calculations of hers and gave us exactly what we needed. She knew we were dim-witted.

“So we are well within the boundaries that Monica’s father had calculated when he said that a ridge point could occur anywhere within a radius of 690 Kilometers from the epicenter of the Nexus Point, which is Sanchi in our case!” exclaimed Goose happily for he seemed to remember every word Monica had said.

Soon, there was cheer and laughter in the room as the clink of champagne glasses filled the evening.

Doorways of Shambala:

“So we know exactly where to go now, this is so cool. We head out straight to Sarnath and park ourselves at the Dhamek Stupa and work out a plan? Is that what we must do next?” said Hound, looking around for an answer.

“Not so fast, Hound. Remember, this is just another milestone you have achieved in your quest for gold. You know where the ridge exists, but you don’t know shit about how to even identify it. You don’t know where to find it still – on land? Underwater? On the banks of Ganges river? You need to meet my colleague, Dr. Wei Wang, an expert Microbiologist who has studied much about the healing powers of the Ganges river. She’s been in Varanasi for more than a year. I suggest you meet her first”, said Uzki, as Hound filled her glass with champagne.

“You’re right. We need to know about the Ganges River for we are going to go to the center of the earth from there. Sure we know that it’s somewhere near the Dhamek Stupa, but we need to do our homework and prepare for the journey”, said Goose wisely.

“And of course wait for the next
Buddha Purnima
which is a month away as Geri said. That 15 degree aberration thingy must be kept in mind”, interjected Derek, taking the bottle of champagne from Hound for a refill. Surely, he must be remembering all that steaming coffee he shared with her last night and today morning. His caffeine levels seemed to be dipping dangerously low now.

Gateweways to Shambala:

“So what do you think the Stargate might look like, Uzki?” I asked as I poured myself a drink. Surely, she would have an answer, I wondered.

“Chief, I would suppose that there would not be one, but four gateways. So make that 4 out of 69 ridge-points where the rifts in reality would occur. You will encounter 4 Stargates! If we consider the mathematical equation that I used to arrive at the coordinates, it takes into account 4 circumambulations. It is also symbolic of four seasons or four directions. I would expect four ridges to Shambala” said Uzki, keeping her glass down as she once again opened her laptop and brought the picture of the Great Stupa at Sanchi on screen.

“Wow! Why would you say that?” quizzed Derek as he took a sip of his champagne.

“I say that for there are four gateways to the Great Sanchi Stupa. Look, you have the Eastern, Western, Southern and Northern gateways depicted in the Stupa. The Stupa is symbolic of Lord Buddha. It is the epicenter of the Nexus point. All the carvings of those mythical beasts and that erotic statue of Yakshi are indicative of the fact that Shambala is a lost world, not just a lost city of gold”, said Uzki, carefully drawing an imaginary diagram in the air.

“Really? What do the carvings on the gates symbolize, gorgeous?” said Hound, staring deep into her eyes as he inched closer to Uzki.

“Hound, the Eastern gateway there has scenes of Buddha’s entry to nirvana on one pillar. This symbolized the ‘Great departure’ of a rider less horse with stirrups. That’s Buddha. The figure of a yakshi maiden on one of the columns indicates a move away from sensual pleasures. Also, Maya’s dream of an elephant standing on the moon when she conceived Buddha is there. This elephant is very similar to the elephant you saw in Kalinga. So this is the gateway through enlightenment”, explained Uzki.

“A gateway we must clearly avoid, next one please!” said Hound, evoking peals of laughter from all of us.

“The Northern gateway symbolizes law and order. It depicts scenes from the life of Buddha. There is a monkey offering a bowl of honey to Buddha, depicted as a Stupa. There are many elephants and horses with riders shown here. I suspect they depict the secret society of the Nine Unknown on earth. This gate is best avoided for the concentration of the gatekeepers would be highest through this gate” said Uzki taking Hound’s hand in hers as a look of obvious concern seemed to eclipse her happiness suddenly.

“Next gate please?” I asked, unable to hold my curiosity for she sure was a powerhouse of knowledge.

“Right Chief. The Western gateway shows Buddha undergoing temptations of Mara as angels cheer and demons flee when they see his resistance. It also shows the seven incarnations of the Buddha, which is depicted by the seven pillars in the Stupas as well. This gate is for the spiritually evolved, which you are not. So this gate is not for you” said Uzki with a smile as she continued to hold Hound’s hand as he seemed to be completely besotted by her.

“Hell! I could use this gate, shall we order some more spirits to evolve a bit more please?” said Goose as he brought forth a round of smiles. He also brought forth memories of our last, common dream with his stupid concoction of Bacardi and Redbull, garnished with mint leaves.

“Next gate, please? And another bottle of champagne here please?” said Derek, as he ordered the waiter for another round of drinks at the table.

“The Southern gateway, the last one. This is the oldest of the gates that surround the Great Stupa. The carvings have scenes from Buddha’s birth and also showcase a range of events from Emperor Ashoka’s life as a Buddhist. There are four lions on top of each pillar. I don’t know what it signifies, but it sure seems like the safest one to me. I don’t know why but it seems like more to do with Emperor Ashoka’s peaceful life after Kalinga” Uzki seemed relaxed as she spoke.

I wondered if this gate had anything to do with the dream we seemed to have after Goose’s powerful brew, but I decided to do a bit of research on this gate and correlate with what Dr. Natalie Jackson had explained to us. May her soul rest in peace.

“Here’s another bottle, champs, let’s demolish it!” said Derek as he lifted the new bottle of champagne.

“Not me, folks, I could do with some coffee now”, said Hound as he flashed a knowing smile at us.

“Me too, Hound! I could do with some black coffee too”, chirped Uzki as she got up, “You all carry on while I’ll go with Hound for some coffee”.

“Come, let’s go to your room, I’ll brew us a fresh pot of coffee, gorgeous. I hear they make awful coffee in this hotel. I’m the best coffee maker in the whole wide world, ask these guys, they’ve heard about my skills, right, Dudes?” grinned Hound.

“Hell! Yeah!” we cheered as we raised a toast for Hound and Uzki.

“Carry on, folks, thank you, Uzki, you’ve been very helpful. Do give a printout of the coordinates to Hound. We’ll take it from here”, said Derek, “Anything we can do to return the favor?”

“I’ll do that. Nah! I don’t need anything, just come back safe, all of you and keep your promise on the charity front. Make sure you carry the 99 Palms with you, it might just save your lives. Good night!” said Uzki as she walked out of the bar with Hound to have coffee. Lucky bastard, our Hound!

A Glimpse of Shambala:

“Wow! Uzki was sure awesome, wasn’t she? I mean, not in that sense, that’s for Hound to tell us. But what she told us today, she nailed it, man!” I said, filling up my glass to the brim for the evening had just begun.

“Completely agree, Chief, I mean, we finally have a place to go instead of going around in circles trying to find out where to go if we want to get rich, right?” said Goose, looking at Derek who seemed to be lost somewhere.

No response.

“Where are you lost, Derek? Dreamland?” I asked, snapping my fingers in front of his eyes as he woke up with a start.

“I was lost in the lost world of Shambala, Dudes…” said Derek, as he went about filing his glass.

“Tell us what Shambala looks like, bro, tell us what you see, O’ Derek Demonia!” I said in jest.

“I see the most beautiful sights a man can ever see. I see sunrise. I see mythical beasts roam the surface. I see dragons flying in the air. I see bright, shining mountains, wait! They are towers made of pure, gleaming gold. I see beautiful, sexy, naked warrior women riding four-headed beasts. They are perfect in every way. I see fire-spitting serpents guarding the gates of these mountains of gold. The sky looks serene as the sun rises. The chirping of birds as these Amazon women ride these dragons, take them to the air...”

“What? You see chicks from Amazon.com selling cheap copies of the books written by the Nine Unknown in Paradise? What kind of a demented person are you?” I asked innocently.

“Xena, the warrior princess, was a lesbian. She evolved from a place called Lesbia. We can watch, we cannot touch”, said Goose lifting his glass to celebrate our friendship.

Laughter filled the empty room. The bar had closed. Only the three of us remained. Hound must be busy making coffee. It had been a fruitful day.

We would be leaving for Varanasi or Banaras or Kashi tomorrow. We were excited. Whatever the GPS understands, we go there first and then we go to Paradise. Simple.

***