A Baby Daddy for a Werewolf Silencer (9 page)

Erdi added a third finger and scissored them inside Jensen,
stretching him and preparing him for penetration. Jensen could do nothing but
wait for Erdi to deem him ready, all the while enduring the rising, almost
painful pleasure.

Mercifully, Erdi didn't make him wait for much longer. He
pulled his fingers out of Jensen with a wet squelch and fumbled with the condom
packet. It was kind of soothing to see that Erdi was just as rattled by this
moment, that Jensen wasn't the only one consumed by the flame of their passion.
With a frustrated snarl, Erdi finally ripped open the packet. The angle didn't
allow Jensen to see his lover roll the condom on his dick, but he did hear
Erdi's hiss when his lover touched himself, and he idly wished he could have
done that, preferably with his mouth.

That wish drifted to the back of his mind, in the part of his
brain labeled as 'later', when Erdi lifted Jensen's legs on his shoulders,
practically bending him in half. He positioned his cock at Jensen's hole and
pushed. Jensen's vision went a little white around the edges as the flared head
popped in. He wondered if he'd just come—one of those dry climaxes he kept
hearing about and had considered a myth—but he couldn't really figure out if
that was the case, and it didn't really matter. Erdi inched deeper inside him,
and with every motion of his hips, the pleasure built higher and brighter
inside Jensen.

By the time Erdi was fully inside him, Jensen could barely
even think anymore. Yes, the invasion hurt, but he didn't care, because oh God,
it hurt so good. Jensen half-feared he wouldn't survive their love-making,
because surely the human body wasn't designed to withstand this level of bliss,
sexual or otherwise.

It felt like that time when he'd gotten high on LSD, only to
stare at the ceiling and discover new colors he hadn't known existed. It
reminded him of the very first successful hack he'd made in secret governmental
files, and all the hacks he'd done after that—the jolt of adrenaline that he'd
never found elsewhere. It was like everything and nothing, and impossibly, it became
even more.

Erdi gave him some time to adjust to the penetration, but
then, he started to move. At that point, memories faded into a disjointed
jumble, and all Jensen could do was to cling to Erdi and hang on for the ride.

Erdi fucked him like a man on a mission, like he couldn't
not
do it. His teeth were bared in a grimace of near-pain, and Jensen could swear
they were far sharper than they should have been. But then, Erdi wasn't exactly
human. That shouldn't have excited Jensen as much as it did, but whatever
reason he'd had left had fled, chased by the mastery of Erdi's touch. The man
seemed to have some sort of preternatural instinct in hitting Jensen's prostate
every single fucking time. Distantly, Jensen wondered if that was a secret
werewolf ability. Under different circumstances, the stray thought might have
made him laugh.

He didn't laugh, of course. He couldn't have, simply because
his vocal cords refused to work. Every part of him, from each individual lock
of hair, to his toenails—and everything in between—buzzed with sexuality and
life. Trapped between their bodies, Jensen's cock benefited from extra
friction, and it was all so good it felt painful.

Jensen almost wanted to shy away from it, because he knew it
would make him come any moment now, and he didn't want this to end, not just
yet, not ever.

Above him, Erdi growled and snapped his hips, the rigidness
in his shoulders screaming the man was about to find his peak as well. And
then, the most unexpected thing happened. That tension seemed to turn into
something different, completely unrelated to fun, sexy times.

That was the only warning Jensen got before his lover pulled
out of him. Jensen gasped, expecting Erdi to shove his dick inside him again,
but it never happened. Erdi didn't pull away, but neither did he impale Jensen
on his cock again, leaving Jensen feeling somewhat empty and bereft.

What little part of him remained rational screamed
"error," like a blue screen of death flaring in his mind's eye. He
wanted to ask why, to beg and plead for Erdi to take him again. Undoubtedly, he
would have done exactly that, but Erdi seemed inclined to sabotage all of
Jensen's plans. He cupped both their erections in his large fist and jacked
them off with more desperation than finesse.

Two strokes, and it was all over. In spite of his dismay,
Jensen cried out and came, arching against his lover. Wet heat splashed over
his abdomen as Erdi followed him over the edge. And it was absurdly satisfying,
so much so that it took a while for Jensen to muster enough coherence to
process the fact that Erdi had taken off his condom. It didn't help his
confusion, and he managed to stammer a question, "W-What?"

Obviously, his brain processes weren't quite up to speed yet,
but Erdi understood regardless. He kissed Jensen's temple and smiled sadly.
"I just can't stay away from you, but I managed to remember you might not
want to carry my baby—or be my mate. I'd hoped the condom would help prevent
pregnancy, but I realized it wouldn't work."

There was so much that needed to be addressed, solely in
those simple phrases, but Jensen didn't have enough time, or strength to do it.
What he did manage was to wrap an arm around Erdi and curl into the man's
embrace.

He might not have words to explain how he felt. He himself
didn't understand it. But for now, this was fine. This was real. Whatever they
were building between the two of them, they'd take it one step at a time.
Hopefully, the answers would come to them soon.

Chapter Six

Over the following days, Jensen and Erdi settled in a regular
routine—or at least, as regular as it could get when the individuals involved
were a werewolf assassin and a human hacker on the run from a mysterious
threat. They were both still on the edge, not knowing who exactly was after
Jensen. Erdi had contacted Willow Cove more than once. Dean Simmons had assured
him they were looking into it, and the best thing Erdi and Jensen could do was
to stay safe and away.

It obviously unsettled Erdi, since Jensen often saw him pace
like a proverbial werewolf in a cage. And so, he assigned himself the task to
distract Erdi, only to distract himself in the process.

Jensen would have never thought it possible for him to stay
for days on end in a remote cabin with no Internet connection, but he had
plenty of interesting things to do without accessing the World Wide Web.

It was all about information, the one thing that had always
fascinated Jensen. Erdi was a seemingly never-ending fount of it. Some of it
often struck Jensen as unbelievable, although Erdi didn't really help since one
time he'd told Jensen some pretty outrageous stuff as a prank.

Even so, they'd avoided anything sexual since the day of
their arrival, which had started to frustrate Jensen. And maybe it wasn't even
the carnal part that bothered him most. Erdi had times when he'd sit down at
Jensen's side and lean against him, nosing his hair. He would laugh at Jensen's
shocked looks—he'd been particularly entertained by Jensen's reaction at the
idea of anal birth. In such moments, his mask would drop, and Jensen got to see
the man behind the "silencer". It never lasted, because Erdi always
pulled away in seconds, always restrained himself, and then kept his distance
for a good couple of hours.

In the beginning, it hurt. Jensen felt like he was making all
sorts of assumptions, drawing mistaken conclusions and messing up more and more
in the process. Fortunately,
 
the use of
the sat-phone was not restricted, so Jensen found himself reaching out to
Parker.

Parker had been sheepish and apologetic when Jensen had first
learned the truth, but their friendship was stronger than any awkwardness that
could have existed between them. He was human, but he also knew a lot about the
werewolf world, and his perspective helped a great deal.

"I think it's very hard for him, to want you, but not be
able to have you," Parker told Jensen once. "Werewolf instincts are
very strong, and the way they bond with their mates... It's unique. I can't
quite explain it. You have to feel it to fully understand it."

"But he does have me," Jensen protested.

"You're not listening. It's not just sexual. A mate bond
means more than that. It's commitment, trust, the hope for a future. I know
Erdi was reluctant to join our pack, so I can only imagine he doesn't feel he
deserves that sort of thing."

Parker was right, of course, and Jensen saw it every day. He
tried to be patient, hoping things would get better in time. In the end, it was
after one of Erdi's attempts to avoid him that Jensen finally snapped.

That morning, they decided to have breakfast together—as they
usually did—and they'd unexpectedly started to talk about their families. For
the most part, they'd stayed away from such topics since they'd come here, but
this time around, they kind of stumbled into it.

Later, Jensen would blame himself for it—because it started
out from something he said. "I love it here, but I admit I miss the
activity back home."

"I know what you mean," Erdi commented. "It's
peaceful... yet very strange. I suppose I could get used to it."

Jensen laughed. "You can get used to all sorts of
things. When I left the orphanage, I was very wary of what I'd find with my new
family. I was afraid that I'd abandoned my only friend, and I'd never have
anyone again. But... I think things turned out all right—even if I'm not really
close to them."

His adoptive parents had been nice enough, but Jensen's
curiosity had eventually led to a rift between them. He'd done some unfortunate
digging into his father's computer, and that had eventually led to a crazy
revelation—that the man had another family in a completely different city. His
mother had been crushed, but in the end, it was Jensen who had paid the price
for it, since he had ruined her dream of finally having a family.

He must have looked pretty melancholic, because Erdi unexpectedly
offered some information of his own. "At the end of the day, family is
something you can't predict or judge. Just look at me. I don't even have a
pack. All I have is a brother, and he's the one who pulled me into the silencer
business to begin with."

It was the first time Erdi had mentioned being a silencer
without Jensen prodding him, so it startled Jensen. Erdi immediately tensed,
abandoning the sandwich he'd been busy making. Before Jensen knew what was
going on, Erdi was already out of the kitchen and disappearing through the back
door.

Jensen ran after him, but it was no use. He exited the cabin
just in time to see wolf-Erdi vanishing into the forest.

Resigning himself to a forced wait, Jensen returned to the
cabin and made himself a cup of hot cocoa. He knew Erdi wouldn't go far, or
stay away from him for too long. The man was far too aware of the threat Jensen
faced to simply abandon him. The fact that he'd left at all spoke volumes of
how much it hurt to have his feelings brought to light.

Well, Jensen would not allow this any longer. He knew better
than to hope Erdi's guilt would miraculously vanish, but that didn't mean
Jensen couldn't soothe it. Erdi deserved a second chance, a second shot at
having a family.

He mused over that thought, letting it roll in his mind,
analyzing it from every possible angle. Like Parker had said, a mate bond was a
very real commitment, and Erdi wouldn't want Jensen to jump into it out of
misplaced compassion. Jensen didn't want that either, because Erdi deserved
better.

But the thing was... Compassion aside, Jensen wanted to be
with Erdi. He wanted to see those smiles without them fading away. Erdi was
always handsome, but when he let go of the sorrow he wore like a veil... Jensen
had no words. For all his bloody past, Erdi was a good man.

He was also the only person to ever make Jensen feel safe,
loved, understood and completely accepted. The closest Jensen had come to that
had been with Parker, but the friendship the two of them shared didn't quite
reach that point. Sometimes, Jensen looked at Erdi, and he felt like the man
could understand him without words.

Crazy? Maybe. But his life had taken a crazy turn when he'd
embarked on this journey, not knowing that he was stumbling into a world that
couldn't be quantified through numbers and coding.

Ironically, Erdi's relationship with Jensen wasn't truly his
biggest concern—but rather, the whole pregnancy thing. Jensen closed his eyes
and remembered how he'd felt when he'd seen Gavin with his son, or during the
drive with Jackie and Kyle. He wanted that, so very much. Added bonus—no anal
birth. Parker had assured him that the procedure used was always a C-section,
and Jensen felt quite thankful for it. There were some things that not even
Jensen could wrap his mind around.

When Erdi stepped into the kitchen again, perhaps a half hour
or so later, Jensen had already reached a decision. Erdi didn't speak or look
at him, but Jensen had expected that. The man's entire demeanor screamed
"Do not approach." For once, Jensen wouldn't let that stop him.

"You're wrong," he said, setting the cup of his
now-cold cocoa down on the table.

Erdi turned toward him and arched a brow. His face could have
been carved out of stone. "Wrong? About what?"

"You have a pack. You have a family. Saul and the others
welcomed you into theirs, no matter what you might think. And... You have
me."

Erdi's eyes widened. "Jensen..." He took a step
back, stumbling in an uncharacteristic display of clumsiness. "I
can't..."

"Yes, you can." Jensen got up and walked toward his
mate—yes, his mate!—keeping his gait slow and steady in a deliberate attempt
not to spook Erdi. "You've known this for a while now. You have me. I've
been yours since the moment we met."

Erdi shook his head. "I can't ask that of—"

"You're not asking, and I'm not offering," Jensen
interrupted him. "It's a fact. It's not up for debate." He let his
voice soften and gave Erdi a pleading look. "You know it's true, Erdi. You
can see it, just like I can. I want this... I want you."

"Baby... You don't know what you're saying. I'm a
monster."

"You're a man," Jensen countered, "just like
me. Nobody is perfect. Yes, you've made mistakes, and yes, you have a past—but
that doesn't mean you can't have a future. With me. With... maybe with a
baby."

Erdi made a noise like he was choking, and maybe it would
have made Jensen hesitate if not for the look in Erdi's eyes—so full of
yearning, of desperate hope. Hoping he was reading Erdi correctly, Jensen
pressed his advantage. He stepped closer to his mate and molded their bodies
together. "I want this," he repeated as he wrapped his arms around
Erdi's neck. "I won't force things if you don't want me back, but—"

He didn't get to finish the phrase. Erdi's lips cut him off,
hot and hungry, swallowing what he was about to say. The kiss was passionate,
almost brutal, and Erdi devoured him, thrust his tongue into Jensen's mouth,
melting his apprehension into renewed decision and a lust that invaded every
cell in his body.

When Erdi broke the lip-lock, Jensen couldn't help a whine of
protest. The haze of desire cleared a little when Erdi spoke again, his voice
filled with gravel. "You're what I want most in this life. Don't ever
doubt that."

Jensen tried to press in closer, but he couldn't quite
manage. It frustrated him to no end that Erdi always took the time to get
dressed after his runs before he actually came in to see Jensen. That was
easily fixable—and hopefully, it would have the added effect of getting Erdi to
see that Jensen meant what he said.

After all, this wasn't just about sex. As much as Jensen
desired Erdi, there was more to what they shared. If only he could make himself
find the words to describe it... But he couldn't—could barely even breathe, too
hypnotized by the look in Erdi's eyes.

There was something hungry and feral in those dark orbs, a
beast that just waited to be unleashed. And whatever doubts Erdi deemed
justified, the 'want' was obviously not the issue.

At the end of the day, that was what mattered, this very
clear connection, the honest truth they couldn't shy away from. Jensen
tightened his hold on Erdi, willing the werewolf to understand, no, to accept
what Jensen offered. They just stood there, staring at each other, at a
deadlock, the tension between them palpable, both erotic and not, with a depth
that weighed heavily on Jensen.

Jensen was afraid to move because he had a feeling this was a
defining moment in his life. If Erdi pulled away, if he said no... Jensen
didn't know if he'd have the strength to try again. He felt exposed, every emotion
in his heart clear for Erdi to see, all the dreams that he barely even dared to
glimpse now on display.

Finally, just when he thought he was about to implode out of
sheer tension, Erdi let out a sound that was part sob, part growl. Jensen
didn't manage to figure out how that noise could even come from the throat of a
man, werewolf or otherwise, but it was so...
Erdi
that it aroused Jensen beyond belief.

And then, Jensen didn't have to think or judge anymore
because Erdi was kissing him again. This time, he didn't pull away, nor did he
show any sign of planning to do it anytime soon. Biting Jensen's lower lip,
Erdi pushed him back, shoving him against the kitchen wall.

The wood dug into Jensen's body, but he couldn't have cared
less. He did his best to find leverage and wrapped a leg around Erdi's waist.
Erdi lifted him up, his strong hands landing on Jensen's ass and kneading
lightly even as they helped support Jensen. As Erdi devoured his mouth, Jensen
welcomed his mate's lust for him, responding in turn. Their tongues dueled in a
battle that Jensen refused to yield, at least at first. Erdi's touch unleashed
the wild need inside him, and he couldn't get enough, was desperate for Erdi's
taste, for everything his mate could give him.

Erdi managed to steal his breath—in every way that counted.
Jensen simply didn't have the patience to take in oxygen, but he didn't even
think that refusal was the cause of the haze taking over his mind and body.
Erdi became the focus of his entire world, and everything else seemed to dim,
unimportant, irrelevant.

There were no more doubts, no more mistakes. For once, their
path was clear, like lines of computer coding that inexorably led to a result.
When Erdi broke their kiss, Jensen somehow knew his mate no longer intended to stop
or pull away. And Erdi didn't, instead choosing to take advantage of their
position to press bruising kisses over Jensen's neck. Erdi's lips left behind
waves of heat that pooled straight into Jensen's cock.

Jensen tried to grind against his lover, but despite his
efforts, he couldn't quite get enough friction. Then again, he doubted anything
would be enough. After the last couple of days, Jensen burned with need, one
that could only be satisfied in a single way.

It was that need that unlocked Jensen's vocal cords. Somehow,
he managed to utter two simple words. "Claim. Me."

He hadn't actually intended to say that, and in fact, what
part of him had been able to rationalize the phrase had meant it as a 'fuck me'
plea. But it came out entirely different, with more meaning than he himself
could bear.

That was what he wanted, to be claimed, to belong to Erdi.
Even if there were parts of the werewolf world he didn't completely understand,
Erdi had been open with him about what it meant to have a mate—if only because
he'd wanted to point out Parker was completely safe with Finn. But, in truth,
that wasn't the reason behind his decision. In his heart, Jensen just knew it
to be right, the piece of him he'd been looking for ever since he'd been old
enough to want an intimate relationship.