A Baby's Cry (34 page)

‘You’ll be able to see Harrison’s new home on Saturday, when we take him for his three-hour visit,’ I said.

They nodded but didn’t say anything, and I knew they were finding it very difficult.

The following day, Friday, when I arrived at Rihanna’s flat, having taken Adrian and Paula to school, she couldn’t wait to show me all the baby equipment she’d bought the previous afternoon. I gasped when I entered the lounge which, with all the purchases, had been transformed from a single lady’s apartment into a family home. A new high chair was standing at the far end of the room next to the dining table and chairs, and there was a playpen containing new activity toys to the right of the room. Three large soft toys – a zebra, elephant and rabbit – sat proudly in one armchair, and on the floor beside the sofa was a small child’s chair, ready for when Harrison was a little older.

‘He’s a very lucky boy,’ I said.

Rihanna smiled, pleased, and with Harrison in her arms led the way into the kitchen, where she began opening various cupboards and drawers to show Harrison and me more of her purchases: a toddler’s plate, bowl, beaker and cutlery set; bibs; a new food blender for mashing his meals; a selection of tinned puddings and other packet food I’d told Rihanna Harrison liked, including porridge and teething rusks.

‘I’ve made Harrison chicken, mashed potato and peas for his dinner today,’ Rihanna said excitedly. ‘I’ve cooked and mashed it, and it’s in the fridge ready for later.’

‘Lovely,’ I said, impressed by how well organized she was. ‘He’ll like that.’

‘It’s your favourite, isn’t it?’ Rihanna said to Harrison, kissing his cheek.

Harrison chuckled and snuggled his face into his mother’s hair, which he seemed to like the feel of.

‘I’ll show you his bedroom,’ Rihanna said, leading the way out of the kitchen.

I followed her through the lounge and into the hall, where we turned left. I gasped again as we entered Harrison’s bedroom, which was now a nursery. ‘You have been busy!’ I said.

Rihanna smiled. ‘Yes, I was up most of the night assembling the furniture and getting everything ready. I’m pleased with the result. It looks good, doesn’t it?’

‘Yes,’ I agreed. ‘It certainly does.’ Harrison chuckled.

A new white cot stood against one wall, complete with a decorated bumper, bedding and entertainment mobile. Against another wall was a ‘changing station’ with nappies, lotions and baby wipes laid out ready. Next to that was a small white wardrobe with a matching chest of drawers. Brightly coloured nursery curtains with pictures of animals and alphabet shapes hung at the windows, and matched the circular rug in the centre of the floor.

‘I’ll paint the walls when I have a chance,’ Rihanna said. ‘But the yellow is fine for now, isn’t it?’

I nodded. ‘Harrison won’t worry about wallpaper until he goes to school,’ I said. ‘Then once the children get talking suddenly Batman wallpaper becomes a “must have”, or at least it did for Adrian.’

Rihanna laughed. ‘Then we’ll go shopping and choose some, won’t we?’ she said, bringing Harrison into the conversation. Harrison agreed by burying his face in her hair again and giving it a little tug.

As detailed in Cheryl’s timetable of introduction I stayed with Harrison and Rihanna for an hour and then left them for the second hour. There wasn’t time for me to go home, so I left my car outside Rihanna’s flat and walked to the local shops, where I bought a newspaper. I took it to a café nearby and spent an unusually relaxing forty-five minutes catching up on the news over a leisurely coffee until it was time to walk back.

Rihanna opened the door with Harrison in her arms and looked anxious. Oh dear, I thought, whatever has happened now? ‘He hasn’t eaten any of his dinner,’ she said, worried. ‘I don’t know what’s the matter with him.’ Harrison grinned while Rihanna was clearly upset.

‘Don’t worry,’ I said, going in. ‘It’s his first meal here; it’s bound to be strange. That’s why Cheryl included lunch in his visits – to get him used to eating here. I’m sure he will be fine tomorrow.’

And he was.

On Friday, as timetabled, I left Harrison with Rihanna for the whole two hours and when I returned they were both grinning happily. ‘He loved the macaroni cheese I made him!’ Rihanna exclaimed as soon as she opened the front door. ‘He ate the lot, and then had rice pudding.’

‘Fantastic!’ I said, and Harrison clapped his hands in appreciation.

Chapter Thirty

Upset

‘I
s this it?’ Paula asked as we drew up outside the flats where Rihanna lived at eleven o’clock on Saturday morning.

‘Yes,’ I said, parking the car and switching off the engine.

‘It’s very big,’ Paula said.

‘They’re flats,’ I explained. ‘Rihanna lives in one of them, not the whole building.’

‘Oh, I see,’ Paula said, while predictably Adrian had fallen silent on our arrival and said nothing.

Rihanna knew I would have Adrian and Paula with me as it was Saturday, and just as we were getting out of the car she appeared through the outer door. ‘Hi, everyone,’ she called brightly, coming down the path. ‘How are you all?’ She took Harrison from me and gave him a big kiss.

‘We’re good,’ I said. ‘And you?’

‘All the better for seeing you,’ Rihanna said to Harrison, giving him another kiss. He laughed and jumped up and down in her arms.

I saw Adrian and Paula looking carefully at Rihanna and I could guess what they were thinking. She was so happy now, and had much greater confidence with Harrison than the last time they’d seen her at the family centre. I also knew that seeing Rihanna and Harrison in what would soon be his new home would be good for Adrian and Paula and help them adjust to him going, although we wouldn’t be staying for long. The three-hour visit was for Harrison to spend more time alone with his mother, to continue the bonding process. As it was a nice day I was thinking of taking Adrian and Paula to a local park and then having some lunch out.

‘Come on in,’ Rihanna said, leading the way into the flats.

Once inside Rihanna’s flat Adrian and Paula stood awkwardly in the lounge-cum-dining room while Harrison, now on his third visit and used to the flat, was eager to be on the floor playing with his toys. Rihanna put him on the carpet and, taking a few toys from the playpen, set them next to him.

‘So this is my living room,’ Rihanna said with a smile to Adrian and Paula. ‘I think Harrison will be happy here, don’t you?’

They each gave a small shy nod.

‘I’ll show you the kitchen,’ Rihanna said to them. ‘It’s through here.’

I stayed with Harrison in the lounge while Rihanna took Adrian and Paula into the kitchen. They didn’t make any comment but then children of their age wouldn’t – for them a kitchen, however neat and well stocked, wasn’t something particularly interesting that they would comment on. ‘Would you like to see Harrison’s bedroom?’ I heard Rihanna ask, and they both said yes.

The three of them reappeared and crossed the lounge but Harrison wasn’t going to be left behind this time and scuttled after them on all fours. Rihanna picked him up.

‘Through here,’ I heard her say to Adrian and Paula.

‘It’s nice,’ Paula said from Harrison’s bedroom.

‘Yes,’ Adrian agreed.

‘You can come and visit Harrison whenever you want,’ Rihanna said kindly.

‘We will,’ I heard Paula say.

Rihanna showed them the bathroom and then they all returned to the lounge. ‘I’m going to miss Harry,’ Paula said to Rihanna as they came in.

‘Harry?’ Rihanna smiled. ‘Is that what you call him?’ It must have been the first time Rihanna had heard Paula use the shortened form of his name.

‘Harrison is too long,’ Paula explained. ‘Why did you give him that name?’

Well done for asking, I thought, for I’d also wondered why Rihanna had chosen what was an unusual name in the UK, but hadn’t liked to ask.

‘Harrison means “son of”,’ Rihanna said. ‘It was Harrison’s father’s middle name. I thought it would be nice for Harrison to have it as his first name. In my family we often use our parents’ or grandparents’ names for our children.’

‘Oh, I see,’ Paula said, nodding thoughtfully. While it cleared up another little mystery for me.

Now Adrian and Paula had seen the flat and Harrison was settled and playing happily it was time for us to leave. We said goodbye and, to avoid disturbing Harrison, we let ourselves out. As planned I drove to a local park, where we stayed for an hour. Then we walked into the town, had lunch and then looked in a few shops before it was time to return to Rihanna’s for two o’clock.

‘Do you think Harry has missed us?’ Paula asked, as I drew up and parked outside the flats.

‘I’m sure he has,’ I said. ‘We’ve been part of his life for a long time, although he’s gradually getting used to his mother now.’

Adrian and Paula came with me into the flats and as soon as Paula saw Harrison she rushed over and kissed him. Harrison chuckled. Rihanna told me Harrison had been fine apart from when he’d woken after his lunchtime nap, when he’d cried for a minute until she’d distracted him with toys and then he’d recovered.

‘I’m not surprised he was a little unsettled,’ I said. ‘That was the first time he slept in the cot here, so it must have been strange for him.’

‘It was strange for me too,’ Rihanna admitted. ‘He was only asleep for half an hour but I kept checking on him.’

‘I know the feeling,’ I said, remembering how many times I’d anxiously checked on Harrison during his first weeks with us.

Rihanna dressed Harrison in his coat and then carried him to the car, where she strapped him into his car seat. She stood on the pavement and waved goodbye, and Harrison waved back.

That night Harrison took a while to settle in his cot and, while not crying, grizzled. I was half-expecting some reaction, as the last time he’d slept in a cot that day had been at Rihanna’s; it must have been very confusing for him. It was impossible to expect a nine-month-old baby to understand that all the changes involved in this carefully planned transition were to ensure that the move to his mother ran smoothly. I also thought that once Harrison had moved and was living with his mother he was likely to be unsettled for a few weeks. I think Rihanna appreciated that too, for she’d remarked a few times that it must be confusing for Harrison.

Sunday’s contact went as planned, with Harrison again spending three hours with his mother, although this time Adrian, Paula and I went home. When we returned Rihanna said everything had gone well and that as it had been a nice day she’d taken Harrison out in the pushchair for a while, which was good. However, that night Harrison again took a long while to settle with me and I spent some time leaning over his cot and soothing him until he finally fell asleep. Once he was asleep I wrote up my log notes and then I decided on an early night in preparation for the busy and emotionally draining week that lay ahead. The following week I would be taking Harrison to his mother’s every day, and he would stay the whole day, then sleep overnight on Thursday, before the move on Friday. Although I sincerely believed it was the right decision to return Harrison to his mother, I was dreading him going, and so too were Adrian and Paula.

‘It’s only five days to Friday,’ Paula said the following morning as we prepared to leave for school. ‘Four to Thursday when we have to say goodbye to Harry.’

‘Yes,’ I said, and concentrated on getting everyone out of the door so that we wouldn’t be late for school. There was nothing else I could say.

Following Cheryl’s timetable of introduction once I’d taken Adrian and Paula to school I drove straight to Rihanna’s flat, arriving at about 9.30. I no longer took the baby bag with me, as Rihanna now had everything she needed to look after Harrison; I knew at some point I’d have to dismantle the contents of the bag, as it was now redundant.

As usual Rihanna was ready when we arrived. I passed Harrison to her and then went into her flat just to say goodbye. A few minutes later I let myself out of the flat and drove home, where I set about clearing up after the weekend.

It was very strange being in the house without Harrison and I kept busy. Jill phoned mid-morning for an update on the weekend contact and I told her it had gone well, although Harrison had become a little unsettled at night, which she agreed was to be expected. She asked me how Adrian and Paula were coping with Harrison leaving and I said they were OK. Jill said she would visit us the following week once Harrison had left, and I fetched my diary and wrote in the appointment. We said goodbye, and then ten minutes later Cheryl phoned and asked for an update. I repeated more or less what I’d told Jill: that the rehabilitation of Harrison to his mother was going well. Cheryl thanked me and said she would be visiting Rihanna and Harrison at their flat that afternoon – the social worker makes a number of visits before and after a child returns to live with their natural parents.

That afternoon when I collected Adrian and Paula from school I didn’t have the pushchair with me because we would be collecting Harrison after I’d collected Adrian and Paula. It felt very odd going into the playground without Harrison chattering away in his pushchair, as though part of me was missing, and a couple of friends asked me where he was. I said Harrison was spending time with his mother in preparation for him going home. I could see they didn’t know what to say. Confidentiality stopped me from explaining further but they looked at me as one looks at the newly bereaved, feeling they should say something but not knowing what. ‘It was the right decision for Harrison to go and live with his mother,’ I said positively, and moved away.

When Adrian and Paula came out of school they looked surprised for a moment that I didn’t have Harrison with me before they remembered we were going to collect him now.

‘Hey, where’s your brother?’ one boy called to Adrian as we crossed the playground.

Adrian looked very uncomfortable and then relied on his humour to get by. ‘Mum lost him at the shops!’ he called back. ‘She keeps doing it!’ I hoped the boy didn’t believe him.