A Beautiful Melody (18 page)

Over the next coupl
e of weeks, a few things happen.

The tour continues. We visit Darwin, Perth
, Adelaide, and Hobart. Each of these cities only has one night booked, so it’s a huge amount of work to arrive, set up and prepare for one show, only to pack it all up and travel to the next city to do it all again.

I start spending a lot more time with Dan, he’s really nice and so normal
. I wouldn’t expect a guy as famous as he is to be sitting around talking to me about movies and the music of other people, like everyone else does. As fleeting as this tour is, I’m really enjoying my time with him. He’s been a welcome distraction.

And Theo and Marcus have started to act like human beings. This is kind of freaking me out actually
, because I’m so used to them being a little strained around each other, and I’m used to Marcus going off after a show and getting drunk and sleeping with which ever pretty girl takes his fancy that night.

They’re even beating me back to the hotel most nights. I’ll come in after hanging out with Dan and I’ll hear them through the door of their room, talking and laughing together, sometimes I hear them working on songs.

A couple of times I’ve wanted to go in and join them. I even stood at the door, with my hand lifted and ready to knock, but before I could, they suddenly erupted into a fit of laughter. So instead of knocking, I just let my hand rest on the door, connecting with them that way as I smiled to myself, listening to their camaraderie.

It seems that the greater the
distance I put between us, the better off they are.

But I miss them.
I miss home.

“Finally!” Stephanie
yells into the phone, when I call her the morning we’re due to fly in to Melbourne. I haven’t spoken to her since we left for the tour. I’ve just been too busy, or I think about calling her at some ungodly hour when I know she’ll be sleeping.

“I know. I’m sorry. I’ve seen your texts. We’re just keeping odd hours these days
, and I didn’t want to wake you up,” I attempt to explain. “It’s good to hear your voice though.”

“Same to you Nomes. I’ve been missing you.”

“Me too,” I whisper, my voice cracking a little as all of my emotions burst out to the surface. Steph is the one person I’ll tell everything to, and just connecting with her over the phone makes me realise how much I need to talk right now.

“Hey, what’s going on? You sound upset.”

“It’s just – ” I cry out the whole sad and sorry state of affairs that I’ve found myself in. I tell her about what happened with Marcus on stage, what happened with Theo in my room, and how I told them to stop and now they’re staying as far away from me as possible.

“Holy shit Naomi. I was all excited when you called me because I’d seen photos of you with Dan Stolle
, and I thought you were dating him,” she says when I finally stop.

“No. He’s just a friend. I mean, we kissed once, but that was as far as it went. He knows I’m caught between Marcus and Theo.”

“And what does he say about it?”

“That I should stay platonic. He thinks relationships ruin bands. I know he’s right. I just…”

“Can’t seem to stop thinking about them? Or perhaps one in particular? A Goth boy perhaps?” she suggests, her voice calm and understanding.

“I don’t know Steph. I’m just really confused
. I wish we could all just go back to before the tour when Theo didn’t want to be around me and Marcus was just flirting for fun. It’s just all so serious now. This is supposed to be fun, you know?”

“Yeah
, I know. I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. I…”

I don’t hear the rest of what she says as my attention is drawn by a soft rapping on my door.

“Oh Steph, I’m sorry there’s someone at my door. I’ll have to call you back.”

“Ok,
well I can’t wait to see you perform in Sydney. Gary and I are dying to watch you on the big stage.”

“Thank you. I’ll call you again as soon as I can.”

We disconnect, and I head toward the door as my visitor knocks again and says my name. My heart does an excited jump in my chest. It sounds like Theo. Smoothing my hair and my shirt, I breathe into my hand to smell my breath, noting that it’s fine. It wasn’t long ago that I showered and brushed my teeth, so I’m all good.

With a
smile on my face, I pull the door open.

“
Are you packed? It’s almost time to go,” Marcus says, looking serious.

“Um… sure.
Do you need my bags for the car?” I ask, standing to the side to let him in as he nods. I’m not going to lie and pretend that I’m not looking over his shoulder in the hope that Theo is coming too. But my heart sinks. It’s just Marcus. “I’ll just double check I have everything.”

“
Are you happy right now Naomi?” he asks suddenly, watching me as I open and close the cupboards and drawers.

“I…” I start. But I don’t get a chance to continue before he goes on.

“Because I’m not. I mean, it’s great I’m getting along with Theo again. But… this is hard for me.” I don’t think I’ve ever seen Marcus’s face look so severe before. All the usual fun and frivolity that he displays is missing and he looks…tired.

“I’m sorry Marcus. I’m not trying to make you unhappy. I’m just trying to stop us all from
fighting. I don’t want to ruin this opportunity for us all before we get the chance to do anything with it,” I try to explain.

“Do you think,
that when the tour is over, we can talk? Properly, you know? Lay it all out on the table?”

“Yeah. I think that might be a good idea,” I tell him, feeling so terrible that I’m
making him feel unhappy. “We’ll be home in a few days. We can talk then.”

“Great,” he smiles. “Here, let me,” he says, taking the suitcase off my bed and carrying
it toward the door. His demeanour seems a little lighter now as I follow him toward the elevator bay with the rest of my things.

As we ride the lift down together, we look at each other a few times and exchange a few uncomfortable laughs. Honestly, I feel really nervous about this chat he wants to have. I’m not sure I’m going to be able to give him what he wants.

“So what’s going on with you and Dan Stolle?”
Jack asks me on the plane as we fly to Melbourne to play the next two nights at Rod Laver Arena. “You seem pretty close and you’re always in the papers together, holding hands and shit.”

“We’re just friends,” I tell him
.

“So you’re not going
to follow him back to the UK at the end of all this?”

I laugh a little and close the cover on my kindle, giving him my full attention. “No. Why would you ever think that?”

“I don’t know, just a feeling I get.”

“Well, I’m not leaving. I promise,” I assure him.

“Fair enough. What about you and those two?” he asks, nodding his head toward where Marcus and Theo are sitting.

I look over at them,
and watch them as they speak animatedly about something or other, and feel my resolve slipping just that bit more. I can’t help but wish I was sitting there with them.

“
I don’t know,” I reply softly.

“You know that if
you pick one, they won’t be doing that anymore,” he warns me as we both watch the brothers burst into laughter.

“It’s why I’m trying to stay away.”

“That’s not going to work forever Nomes. I just hope I’m not in the room when it all blows up,” he says, sliding his headphones over his head and turning his iPod on. I guess this conversation is over.

I re-open
my kindle and go through my books, my finger hovering over the one I was reading to Theo. A pang of longing thuds in my chest, and I look over to where he is sitting, catching him watching me. His dark eyes connect with mine and I swear time just freezes. I don’t even think I’m breathing right now.

I don’t know
how long we stay like that, but it all ends too soon when he seems to realise what he’s doing and his brow creases just before he turns around and doesn’t look back.

My eyes prick a little, and I blink rapidly as I look down at my kindle and the book we were reading. I press my finger on the screen until the menu pops up and hit delete
. But when the confirmation message pops up, asking me if I’m sure, I can’t go through with it, and power the device off instead. I can’t focus on reading now.

***

When we get to our next hotel, I settle into my room, on my own again. As per usual, we’re all on the same floor. The men all have adjoining rooms, and I’m across the hall. I’ve become so fast at unpacking now that I have everything away in about ten minutes, and I’m feeling slightly bored, and tired of being on my own.

Pocketing my key, I walk across the hall and raise my hand, listening to all four men talking on the other side. Butterflies swirl in my stomach as I stand there frozen.
After the last couple of weeks, I feel a little awkward coming over to them all like this.

I take a deep breath and knock solidly on the wood three times. Fidgeting on the spot as I hear them on the other side of the door asking if anyone ordered something.

The door pulls open and I’m greeted by a smiling Marcus, his light brown hair has grown to the point where it constantly falls into his eyes. He reaches a hand up to brush it away. “Hey,” he says when he sees me. “What’s up?”

I want to ask if I can come inside. I want to just bounce on in there and pretend everything is the same as it was before the tour, but I chicken out. Taking the safer road instead.

“I um… was just wondering what time we’re going,” I ask, now feeling a little like an intruder as he stands in front of me, blocking the door.

“I don’t know. Hey Theo,” he calls over his shoulder. “How long until we’re going?”

“I don’t know. A couple of hours,” he replies. I move my head slightly toward the sound of his voice, but I can’t see him past Marcus’s broad frame.

“Ok,” I respond quietly, taking a step backwards, getting ready to return to my room. To be on my own…

Feeling like the kid who doesn’t get picked for the sports team, I sit on my bed and sulk for a while before taking out my violin. I start to play Vivaldi’s
La Follia,
it’s something I haven’t played since I was at the School of Music, but for some reason, it’s the first thing that comes out of me when I put the bow to the strings.

Closing my eyes, I feel the music flow through me, in through my ears, spreading
through my veins like it’s being carried by my blood, mingling with my melancholy. When I finish, I feel like all of my emotions are buzzing along the surface of my skin, and keep my eyes closed, just feeling.

A
loud clapping shocks me out of my reverie, causing my eyes to fly open and focus on the figure leaning against my door frame.

“You left your key in your door,” Theo explains, holding it up for me to see.

“Oh, thanks,” I say, setting my violin on the bed beside me.

“I haven’t heard you play classical for a long time. Is something wrong? Trouble in paradise?”

“What?” I ask, furrowing my brows in confusion.

“With you and Dan.”

“There is no me and Dan. We’re friends. That’s it.”

“I just thought, since you’re always going out with him and the photos…”

“Well, you’d be wrong.”

He takes a few steps into the room and lays my key on a small table
, before turning to me, his hands in his pockets as he looks around the room uncomfortably.

“You know, you never did finish reading that book to me. Maybe on the next flight… perhaps we could sit together?”

“Maybe,” is all I say in response, as I put my violin back in its case.

“
Listen, I’m sorry Naomi,” he says after a beat.

“Don’t be. It’s easy enough to assume.”

“No. Not about that. I’m sorry about Brisbane. I was drunk and I… I messed up.”

Tears spring to my eyes as the image of him with that woman flashes before m
e. “Yeah. You really did,” I admit, wiping at my eye as a tear sneaks out of the corner.

“I just… I miss you.”

I sit and just stare at him, drinking in every detail of him. I’ve been missing him too. There’s something about him, something that makes me feel like I belong, something that makes me want to risk everything to be with him.

“I’ll um, just…” he says, placing his hand on the door.

“Don’t go,” I call out, the sound of my voice more of a burst than actual words.

He freezes his movement and just looks at me, and I know what I want.

Without giving it much thought, I stand up and rush over to him, going up on my toes and throwing my arms around his neck.

“I miss you too,” I whisper, closing my eyes tightly as his arms en
close around my waist and he lets out a huge relieved sigh. “I’ve missed you so much. I’ve wanted to talk to you. But I didn’t want to ruin anything. I’ve just… I’ve been so lonely without you.”

“Naomi?” he says after
I finish babbling.

“Yeah?” I ask, lifting my head to look up at his
face. My heart skips a beat as our gazes collide.

“Don’t slap me this time. Ok?” he breathes, sliding his hands up so he’s cupping either side of my face. He reaches his foot back behind him and kicks the door shut before bringing his mouth to mine.

Glorious ripples of desire go zinging through my body as our mouths move sensuously together. It’s so much more beautiful than it was the last time we kissed, this kiss is filled with all of the want we’ve been harbouring for each other over the years.

“I want you Theo. I want you so much,” I murmur, my hands trying to touch all of him at once.

“You don’t know how glad I am to hear you say that,” he whispers, pulling me firmly against him.

Walking together, we start to make our way over to the bed, our hands working at each
other’s clothes as we disrobe each other, dropping articles of clothing on the floor. By the time we’re at the bed, I’m only in my bra and panties, and he’s standing in his boxers.

Leaning over me, he di
ps his head, trailing soft kisses along my jaw and down my neck, cupping my breast with his hand as our bodies roll together. My anticipation builds, his arousal pressing firmly against my thigh as we move, gasping, panting and touching.

“
What the hell are we doing?” he moans between kisses and soft bites, as he pulls down the cup of my bra and takes my erect nipple in his mouth, sucking on it hard.

I inhale sharply, arching my back, pushing my breast
s toward him. “I don’t know,” I pant, sliding my fingers into his hair. “Just please. Don’t stop.”

He wraps his arms around me and flips us over, so I’m on top. I let out a loud moan as his erection presses right into my clit
, and my hips start to roll against him. Reaching behind my back, I unclasp my bra, dropping it beside us on the floor, freeing my breasts, wanting to feel him skin on skin.

Immediately, his hands reach up and cup me, rolling my nipples between his fingertips. “Oh Theo,” I gasp out, the pressure between my legs building as I continue to rock on top of him. The only thing between us right now is the th
in cotton of my panties and his boxers. “Oh!” I cry again.

With an erotic growl, he grips my thighs and flips me on my back, tearing my panties down my legs at breakneck speed. His boxers are soon to follow
as he jumps off the bed.

I whimper, as my insides throb, aching for him to be inside as I watch him search his wallet for a condom. Needing to be touched, I slide my hands down my body and start to slide my juices over my clit. “Hurry,” I pant, moaning as my orgasm threatens
to explode over my hand.

“Don’t you dare do that without me. I want to be inside you when that happens,” he growls as he drops his wallet on the floor and makes quick work
of applying the condom.

“Just
get over here,” I pant.

With great speed, he springs onto the bed and leans over the top of me, pressing himself lightly at my entrance, staring into my eyes as if checking that he has permission.

“Do it,” I whisper, lifting myself up toward him so I manage to capture his tip.

Groaning, he pushes himself slowly into me
, rocking his hips until I’ve taken in all of him. I gasp, wrapping my legs around his arse as we move together.

Our eyes are locked, and I’m sure his face is mirroring mine right now, lost in
ecstasy. He looks beautiful, leaning over me, his lips parted as he breathes with each thrust, his hair falling forward, surrounding his face like a dark halo.

I reach my hands up, and thread my fingers into his hair, pulling his face toward me. Our mouths meet with a furious passion as he moans and I whimper, as his thrusting increases. I can’t hold on much longer
and release his head, my hands flying to my sides as I grip at the sheets and throw my head back, letting out a load moan as I explode, my internal muscles gripping him tightly as my hips buck upward. “Theo! Oh yes!” I yell.

Almost instantly, I feel the pulse of his own orgasm inside me as he lets out a guttural moan
and thrusts himself into my depths. Breathing heavily, we lay together for a moment, touching, stroking and kissing.

“You’re not going to take off on me this time are you?” I whisper, running my fingers over the side of his face, enjoying the feeling of the course stubble beneath my fingertips.

“No. Not this time,” he replies, bringing his mouth to mine and kissing me tenderly. “You know I’m in love with you, right?” he whispers, kissing me again.

My heart swells in
my chest, close to bursting as I wrap my arms tighter around him. “Say it properly,” I whisper, between kissing him.

He moves so he’s on top of me, looking down into my eyes, the intensity of his gaze
, enough to start my insides clenching all over again.

“I’m in love with you Naomi,”
he murmurs. “I’ve been in love with you for a very long time.” His voice like a soft caress, washing away all the shit and all the hurt that’s gone on between us.

“I’m in love with
you too.” I whisper in return. He dips his head and kisses me gently, and I can feel the love pouring out of his beautiful soul and into me. “What do we tell everyone?” I ask, when we’ve come up for air, suddenly realising that we can’t keep this a secret.

“Nothing right now. We only have four shows to go. We’ll talk to them when we’re back home. Together,” he whispers, kissing me again.

As much as I’d prefer to just be honest, it makes sense to wait. We’ll be home soon. We can wait until then.