A Better Man (The Men of Halfway House) (20 page)

"I love you," Matt said almost in a whisper. His voice shook with a hint of nervousness.

Julian tightened his hold further, softly kissed Matt's chest and quietly responded, "I love you more." The statement was truer tonight more than ever.

Matt's body relaxed in his hold and he heard his heartbeat spike for a moment then settle to its usual rhythm. Julian sighed with relief and nuzzled closer to Matt. He was at peace. Whatever happened from this moment, they'd try to work through it together. He had Matt's love and trust, and that was the best Christmas present he could ever hope to receive.

Chapter 15

February

"Mmmm…that feels good," Matt moaned and stroked the back of Julian's head. He loved the way Julian made love to him this way most mornings. Slowly taking him to the edge then bringing him back only to push him further until he exploded was exquisite torture. Julian said it was the best way to start the day and Matt wasn't going to argue. Nearly every morning, Matt would wake to Julian's mouth, working a trail down his neck.
Damn Julian for discovering that sensitive spot.
Other mornings, he'd wake to the warmth of Julian's mouth wrapped around his length, slowly, torturously working him to the point where he sounded as if he were speaking in tongues.

"J," Matt panted as he watched.

Julian lazily looked up and half smiled. He stuck out his tongue and slowly swiped Matt's slit without breaking eye contact.
Fucking tease.
Julian knew Matt, had figured out those minute indicators of when was the right time to pull back, where, when, and how to touch him, kiss him, lick him, and tease him. Before Matt could curse Julian for taking so damn long to finish, he wrapped his hot mouth tightly around Matt again and began to rapidly suck and pull just the way Matt liked moments before reaching that precipice.

Matt moaned incoherently and threw his head back.
So close.
Julian tightened his grip and sped up further, pushing Matt off that edge. A sharp current traveled up Matt's body, numbing every limb until he finally yelled his release.

After a few moments, Julian slowly released him and began kissing a trail up Matt's stomach. Slow, soft kisses, not like the ones Julian gave when he wanted to tease. These were the slow lazy kisses after those three words were exchanged. The ones that let Matt know Julian cherished him, wanted him more than anything else. Matt loved that about him. Julian could say he wasn't good at expressing himself, but Matt knew better. This last month had proven that Julian's mother, even after her death, had far more influence over her son than any memories of the asshole father who had tried to break him.

Matt caressed the back of Julian's head as he reached the middle of his chest. Julian looked up and smiled then dove again to kiss Matt's neck.
Fucker
. Matt couldn't help but moan.

Julian kissed his way along Matt's jawline until he was finally face to face with him.

They smiled.

"Happy Valentine's Day," Matt whispered.

"Happy Valentine's Day," Julian repeated before lazily kissing him.

Matt enjoyed every single kiss he shared with Julian, but there was something special about kissing him immediately after. The different taste in Julian's kiss was his own release. Although primitive, he was happy to know he had marked Julian as his. Matt craved more, needed to feel a closer connection with Julian, wanted to know what it felt like to be buried inside him. He just didn't know how to broach the subject.

When they finally broke the kiss, Julian positioned himself back up on the bed, pulled Matt over onto his chest and wrapped his arms around him. Matt immediately felt Julian's body heat envelop him as he eased back into sleep, forgetting anything else he wanted from him.

* * * *

"That's your phone," Julian mumbled behind Matt's ear.

Matt battled with what to do—answer the annoying phone or stay exactly where he was as Julian nuzzled him and pressed himself against Matt's back.

Ring. Vibrate. Ring. Vibrate.

"Aren't you gonna get that?" Julian whispered with a soft chuckle in Matt's ear as he released the earlobe he was worrying with his teeth.

Ring. Vibrate. Ring. Vibrate.

Reluctantly, Matt detached himself from Julian and reached for the phone. After reading the display, he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and answered.

"Hey, Sam."

"This is your ten-minute warning call that I'm on my way there," Sam said with a laugh. "At least it would have been ten if you had answered with the first ring. It's closer to five now."

"Um, okay," Matt said. He looked back at Julian who could easily overhear the tinny voice. Julian kissed his shoulder and got out of bed.

Sam went on. "I've got some info on the new guy I was telling you about so I wanted to chat with you for a few."

"Yeah, yeah, that's fine," Matt said as he stretched.

Julian grabbed the jeans he'd laid out on the chair and started dressing. Matt heard Sam talking, but he was so focused on watching Julian's arms and legs as he pulled the jeans up, he couldn't follow the conversation.

"You're not even listening to me, are you?" Sam asked.

"Uh…yeah, of course I am."

"Uh-huh. I'll be there in three. At least make sure you're dressed please." Sam laughed before ending the call.

Julian turned to see Matt staring at him and smiled. Matt couldn't move. He couldn't believe he was here. Sometimes it was like a dream. When Matt's gaze slipped southward, Julian grabbed the other pair of jeans on the chair and tossed them over to Matt.

"Get dressed please. I don't want Sam seeing that perfect ass of yours."

Matt beamed as he started to dress. Julian thought he had a perfect ass? Had Julian looked in a mirror recently? Matt couldn't stop admiring Julian. He'd changed in the last month, in so many ways. There was a level of ease between them now. Regardless of whatever it was that was happening to either one of them, they made the effort to talk and get through it together. Matt had his off days, normally whenever his mom was involved, but Julian was always patient with him.

Julian became a bit more open with each passing day. There was a different strength in his eyes that hadn't been there when they first met. His gaze was as firm and powerful as ever, but it no longer intimidated Matt or made him look away. Rather, Julian's green eyes pulled him in and awakened a desire in Matt to explore further. He often wanted to simply turn his back on everything and everyone else just to be able to look into those eyes and peer into that secret door Julian kept locked to everyone but him.

Julian grabbed a shirt from the closet and walked over to Matt. He softly kissed him as he handed over the T-shirt. "We can pick this up where we left off after he leaves."

"Promise?" Matt asked as he slowly pulled the shirt over his head.

"Today, all day—I'm all yours."

"Just today?" Matt teased as he wrapped his arms around Julian's neck.

"I'm yours every day." Julian snaked his arms around Matt's waist. "But today there won't be a hammer or paint brush in the way. Unless you'd like that of course," he said, waggling his eyebrows.

Matt couldn't help but laugh and tighten his hold on Julian. He was glad to see Julian's playfulness still intact despite the whole emotional crisis on Christmas. Matt had feared Julian would retreat into his shell rather than try to explore deepening the relationship. True to Julian's word, he was trying his damned hardest to open up.

"If you need to get some work done, J, it's okay."

"Nope, it's Valentine's Day," Julian said firmly. He paused for a moment and rubbed his shaved head. "Isn't spending time with the person you love what people are supposed to do?"

Supposed to do?

"What did you normally do on Valentine's with old boyfriends?" Matt cautiously asked. Maybe there was something Matt was doing wrong here?

Julian shrugged. "Nothing."

"What do you mean 'nothing'?" Matt asked as he stroked the back of Julian's neck. He knew the rhythmic stroking settled him.

After a few moments, Julian finally answered. "Never been with someone long enough to have a Valentine's," Julian said as he buried his head in the crook of Matt's neck. Julian was trying to open up in his own way. Matt recognized it in his body language, the way he said things, the hesitation, then the mild worry that he had somehow said something wrong. The words weren't full of self-pity but then Julian didn't really sign up for that particular emotion. They were simply words that were heavy with something. Loneliness maybe?

Matt tightened his hold on Julian. It must have been difficult for him to confide. No one liked to admit loneliness. But Matt knew exactly how he felt, the yearning when seeing the couples on that day holding hands, kissing, and knowing about everything else that followed. The only escape had been to go home and watch some television, only to find each channel riddled with romance stories. Even straight guys sometimes struggled to find dates, add in the gay factor and Valentine's was not always the day it was cracked up to be. He knew all too well how it felt.

"Me either," he finally said.

Julian quickly backed off while maintaining his hold on Matt's waist. "Really?" His voice held obvious surprise.

Matt smiled and softly stroked Julian's cheek. "Really," he said, placing a gentle kiss on Julian's lips. "Remember, my parents don't know I'm gay and I just got out of a five-year prison term. I'm no expert, so I guess we'll both figure this out as we go along."

"I can deal with that." Julian said this so seriously, but there was a smile on his face and he appeared more relaxed.

"Me too," Matt responded while hugging him.

They stood there quietly for a few moments in each other's arms before they heard the knock at the door. They reluctantly separated and Matt went to answer while Julian went to the kitchen.

"Mornin'," Sam said as Matt opened the door.

"Morning," Matt grumbled in response to Sam's spirited tone.

Sam laughed and made his way into the house. He immediately headed to the kitchen, apparently following the noise.

"What's up, Jules?" Sam said with a smirk as he pulled out a chair at the table.

"Hey, Sammy," Julian stressed the nickname Sam hated.

Matt just shook his head and laughed. In the last month, Julian had made an effort to get to know Sam. He had admitted to Matt that Sam wasn't a threat to what was blooming between them. Then he said he couldn't deny something deep down inside would cause him to question that belief. He told Matt he wanted to try to get to know Sam more, to calm that hateful green monster inside that caused him to cringe each time he heard Sam's name.

Matt understood. He spoke to Sam who willingly increased his visits to the house and worked his way into building a friendship with Julian. Matt recalled the conversation he had had with Sam about building that friendship. Sam had simply asked if the request came from Matt or Julian. When Matt clarified it was Julian's request, Sam had that 'I'm proud of my boys' expression on his face.

When Matt questioned his reaction, Sam simply responded, "I won't ask because it's none of my business, but I know the signs all too well. This is a big step for him."

Sam was a gifted social butterfly. He was irresistible, even to Julian. Matt couldn't be more relieved Sam and Julian had found a happy medium and had actually started to form a friendship—all without Sam knowing the details of Julian's past. Matt respected Julian's privacy and refused to share anything Julian had told him.

"So what have you got?" Matt asked, focusing his attention on the folder Sam laid out on the table.

"This is the file for the guy who I think would really need a place like this," he began as he opened the folder and spread out the various reports inside.

Julian poured three cups of coffee and handed them out as he took a seat next to Matt at the table.

"What's his story? The file's very thin," Matt asked, rather perplexed. Even his own file was thicker than this guy's.

"Cameron Pierce. First offender, no priors, not even a parking ticket." Sam shook his head. "It's a really screwed up scenario," he said as he shuffled the papers.

Matt looked at the mug shot in the case file. Behind the bruises and angry eyes, there was a very young man staring back at the camera. People were usually quick to judge others. He knew firsthand what that felt like so he tried not to formulate an opinion based on the photo alone until he knew more.

"What'd he do?" Julian asked as he sipped his coffee.

"He killed a man," Sam said quietly.

"Did he do it?" Julian asked the same question Matt thought.

The first guy in the halfway house and Sam was suggesting a murderer? Something else must lie beneath the story. There was a reason why Sam was recommending this guy to him and why he had handpicked him for Matt's new place.

"Cameron will admit to anyone who asks that he killed the man," Sam quietly confirmed.

Matt reached for one of the case file reports. He scanned the pages for more information, details, anything. It wasn't clicking. There was no first or second degree murder charge. He followed the words with a finger.