A Better Man (The Men of Halfway House) (16 page)

If he looked as needy as Matt did, he knew words weren't necessary.

* * * *

Matt tried to regain control. There was no fucking way he was going to peak this soon. He watched as Julian quickly undressed. When Julian started to undo his pants, Matt sat up and reached for him, pulling him closer. Desperation built within, a need to feel, taste, possess. Matt undid the pants as he kissed Julian's abs, slowly working his way down.

His hands shook with need.

Matt reached inside and wrapped his hand around Julian before letting the pants drop to the floor. He dipped his head and took Julian into his mouth.

Julian instantly groaned and grabbed the back of Matt's neck. Not pushing or guiding, it seemed more for support than anything. When Matt looked up, Julian's eyes were closed, his head thrown back, and his lips parted. Matt sped up the pace and sucked harder, drawing Julian's attention.

They made eye contact.

Julian placed his other hand on the side of Matt's face then traced his fingers below Matt's chin. Matt released Julian and sat up on his knees. He was at eye level with Julian who was still standing. The need in those crystal green eyes mirrored the want coursing through Matt. Julian slowly kissed him without urgency, just a leisurely, torturous, exploratory kiss. Matt felt the heat building in him again. He wrapped his arms around Julian's neck and brought him down on the bed with him.

Matt loved the way Julian's body surrounded him, the heat of his skin against his own, his weight pressing him onto the bed. Julian trailed a few kisses down his chest then sat up on his knees. Julian rolled on the condom and slicked himself up. Matt began to move, planning on turning around but Julian's hand on his waist stopped him.

"No," Julian said hoarsely then kissed him. "I want to see you."

Matt lay on his back, the tension knotting in his stomach, his tightened chest making it difficult to catch his breath. Julian positioned himself and slowly pushed inside, never breaking eye contact. Matt arched his back off the bed.

"You okay?" Julian whispered next to his ear, his voice cracking, strained.

Matt brushed his fingers behind Julian's neck then held his face. Finally being joined with Julian filled him with so much emotion he wasn't sure his voice would sound firm enough to ease the concern in Julian's eyes.

He nodded.

Julian smiled and bent to kiss his shoulder, pushing slowly until he was fully seated. Matt moaned and dug his fingers into Julian's shoulders as he arched his back more. Matt wasn't able to catch his breath. He wasn't the only one. Julian shook under his touch, and his jaw was clenched when he looked up. It was obvious he was trying to regain control too. Matt felt his muscles finally begin to relax. He explored Julian's shoulders, his biceps, back up to his neck.

Julian kept a slow, torturous pace. He grabbed Matt's leg and angled him, hitting his gland with each thrust. Matt groaned. Sweat pearled on his forehead, his pulse raced, and he grabbed on to Julian for support. He felt a tightness coiling in his stomach as the rush of heat coursed through his body. His breath came in shaky gasps. Matt reached for the sheets, gripped and twisted them.

He was close.

He needed…something…he just…

Julian's pace faltered.

"J," Matt barely managed on a gasp.

Matt reached for himself, trapped between them. Julian grabbed both of Matt's hands with one of his and pinned them over Matt's head. Julian sped up his pace, digging the fingers of his other hand into Matt's hips. He was relentless, hitting Matt's gland over and over. Matt felt ready to explode, his vision started to fade, he couldn't feel his arms, his legs. Julian released Matt's hands and wrapped an arm around his waist, lifting him off the bed into a sitting position on Julian, driving him deeper. Matt's muscles tightened and a current coursed through his body. Finally surrendering to the electricity traveling his spine and the burst of light behind his eyes, Matt yelled as the warmth of his release spread between them.

Julian followed a breath later, bowing his body and growling with the strength of his orgasm.

Matt was disoriented. Shaky arms wrapped around him tightly and pulled him to a hard, warm chest. Julian guided him to the bed, holding him close. Matt felt a chill as cool air touched his sweat-slick skin. Julian maneuvered the sheets from under them and threw them over Matt's shoulders. He held Matt so tightly, he could barely move.

Finally, caged in Julian's arms, Matt had never felt freer.

* * * *

Matt woke to the steady sound of breathing and puffs of breath on his shoulder. He smiled when he saw Julian's arms draped over his chest possessively. He'd take this over waking up to construction banging any day. He started to pick at Julian's leather wrist cuff. Julian's arms tightened around him.

"Good morning," Julian said lazily as he nuzzled Matt.

Matt's smile grew, he could really get used to this. "Good morning," he said, turning his head and searching for a kiss which Julian gladly delivered.

Matt settled back into Julian's arms and kept picking at the wrist cuff.

"Stop it," Julian growled as he kissed Matt's neck.

"Don't you ever take that thing off?" Matt asked, laughing.

"Fashion statement," Julian said, squeezing tighter as he softly kissed Matt's shoulder. "I want to sleep in some more," he mumbled drowsily.

"Anything you want, birthday boy," Matt responded. He settled into Julian's embrace, pushing back so Julian's chest was flush against him. He could feel the heat emanate from Julian's skin, warming him. He sighed in contentment.

"Thank you," Julian whispered softly in Matt's ear long after he thought Julian had fallen asleep again.

Matt sensed the 'thank you' was more than just for sleeping in. He squeezed Julian's arm in acknowledgement. "I love you," he said quietly.

"I love you more," Julian responded.

A swell of emotions flowed through Matt. Julian inhaled as he exhaled, each rise complemented each fall perfectly. He settled more comfortably in Julian's arms, reveling in the warmth and safety.

This was where he wanted to be every morning.

He rubbed his hands on Julian's arms and pulled him closer. He closed his eyes and tried to memorize every detail.

"Marie," Julian quietly murmured.

Matt was taken by surprise. He didn't know what to think. "Marie?" he asked with a mix of confusion.

"The M. My middle name," Julian responded, snuggling closer. "It's my mom's name."

Matt slowly exhaled in relief. After months of evasion, Julian had finally revealed his name to Matt. He smiled, sensing the walls were slowly coming down between them.

"Julian Marie Capeletti," Matt said, pronouncing each name. "I like it," he said, craning his neck in search of Julian's lips.

Julian lazily kissed him.

Their plans to sleep in were forgotten.

Chapter 13

December

"Sweetheart, I wanted to check if you were bringing someone with you for lunch tomorrow?" Matt's mother asked.

I'd love to have Julian there with me for Christmas Day.

During the past month, they had become closer. Matt moved his sparse belongings into Julian's room and now used his old bedroom at the front of the house as his office. The occasional smiles came more often and the teasing laughter echoed through the house as they worked. The lines defining a work relationship were blurred beyond recognition. They worked well together, side-by-side, progressing through the renovation on schedule, even with the long pauses in between for lazy kisses and lounging lunches on the single couch in the open space. Matt craved Julian's touch, the embraces, the need for proximity. He had never loved or felt as loved as he did by this man.

There was both passion and promise. Matt couldn't deny the explosive fire between them or the subtle gestures of tenderness. He could no longer go into the bathroom without thinking of their shower sex, and the bedroom was best left absent until after work, otherwise, they'd hibernate in each other's arms until the next morning. Even though Julian was usually quiet and reserved, he was always attentive to the slightest detail, using action rather than words when needed. He had slowly worked his way into Matt's heart and had managed to touch every part of his life, except his family.

"I could bring someone," Matt responded cautiously. His mind wandered back to that day in November seeing Julian in his suit and tie. Matt just wanted to have him dressed up again, all nice, polished, and shaved so he could rip it all off and lick every inch of that golden skin.

"Someone special?" his mother asked, interrupting his thoughts.

Matt knew better that to share the truth with his mother and was surprised she hadn't thrown some verbal jab at this point in their conversation. He decided it was best not to fan the flame.

"No, Mom, no one special. On second thought, it'll just be me," he said. He couldn't handle the maternal inquisition if he showed up at the mausoleum with the man he loved. Besides, he didn't want to subject Julian to his mother's wrath.

"If you don't plan on bringing someone, then I'll invite Eliza to join us. She was asking about you at the country club last week," his mother commented excitedly.

Matt cringed. The thought of Eliza's blonde hair in his face, her lingering perfume, or those perfectly manicured claws touching him set him off.

"No, Mom. Just us for lunch."

"She will be incredibly disappointed. I'll call her and you will—"

"No, Mom," Matt repeated more firmly in hopes of avoiding the detour in the conversation.

"Matt, I don't understand why you are so stubborn about this. Eliza is a wonderful young lady from a very prominent family. It would do you good to be with her and it might serve you well in your lackluster efforts in trying to bring your life back into a realm of acceptability. I'm going to call her—"

"I said no, Mom." He could feel the anger boiling inside. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath in a weak attempt to try and control his tone. The constant innuendo and outright insults were grating on him. He was growing tired of the charade and being pushed past anything even remotely acceptable.

"I have come to accept that you don't know what is good for yourself. I had hoped you could do this on your own but obviously you cannot."

"Mom—"

"I just want to be proud of my sons but it seems you two have opted to drag our family name through the slums of society. I have one son intent on ruining his life with an opportunistic jezebel and another who refuses to try and rebuild his." Her voice was harsh and unforgiving, enough to trigger Matt's anger to explode.

"I
am
rebuilding my life." Every action since his release had been made toward the goal of rebuilding his life,
his
way.

"You are not. If this were your intention, you would settle down and begin a family with someone like Eliza whose name may help elevate your current abysmal status in society. Rather, you've chosen to continue your prison ways by hiding and shaming this family where I can't even bring myself to call you my son when others are talking about their children."

"Five years in prison doesn't make me any less your son," Matt yelled before slamming the receiver and disconnecting the call. He fought the pain that knifed through his chest at the rejection. He gripped the edge of the table with both hands, willing himself to control the anger coursing through his body. His hands began to shake. In a fit of rage, he grabbed the phone and threw it across the room, smashing it against the corner wall with a crash.

"Matt?"

Matt turned at the voice and was stunned to see Julian standing in the doorway of his office. Matt felt the color drain from his face. Hadn't Julian gone out? His heart raced and it was suddenly difficult to breathe.
How much did he hear? How long has he been here?

"Prison for five years?" Julian said. It sounded more like a statement than a question.

He'd obviously heard enough.
Shit.

"I thought you were going to pick up dinner?" Matt asked as he ran a shaky hand through his hair, trying to change the subject, attempting to slow the feeling of panic that began to rise within.

"I forgot my wallet," Julian said curtly as he straightened.

"Oh." Matt didn't know what else to say. He looked down and shifted the papers around, trying to busy himself and ignore the phone scattered into pieces at the corner of the room.

He sensed their first fight was imminent.

He had kept his time in prison a secret from Julian out of fear. Fear Julian would think less of him, fear Julian wouldn't want to do the job anymore. Fear Julian was too straight-laced to work for an ex-con, let alone be in a relationship with one.

It all boiled down to the same fear—that Julian would leave him.

He cautiously looked up and saw Julian staring at him with a piercing glare.

Matt couldn't move. He was terrified to say another word. He felt as if he'd walked onto a frozen lake, reached the center then suddenly felt the ice giving way under his feet. The wrong move and things would be irreparable.