A Bride Worth Billions (80 page)

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3 How to stop yourself from falling in love

Love may sometimes feels like beyond your control. You may think that you cannot do anything to resist it. However, according to psychologists, there are actually ways to control this wild feeling.

Studies show that the feeling of intense love is actually activated in a region in the brain called
nucleus accumbens
. It is associated with rewards and is responsible on out-of-control addictions. Love activates the part of the brain which is also involved in the addiction of cocaine, cigarette and drugs. Therefore, an uncontrollable feeling of love should be treated with the same way with an addiction.

Just like fighting an addiction, if you want to stop thinking of the person entirely, get rid of the objects that remind you of him. There are actually a lot of ways on how to trick your brain not to fall in love. All you have to do is to make yourself think of people as profiles and organize them in a mental filing system. In this way, you’ll be able to categorize who to think of in a special way and who to ignore. If you want to stop your growing intense feeling with someone, here are some of the tips that could help you manage your emotions.

 

Avoid hanging out with the person

This is the most common and obvious way but this strategy is easier said than done. You may decide to do it but you still find yourself spending time with the person you’re falling in love with. This common sense is so hard to put into  practice.

You will find it easier not to fall in love with the person if you are not always around him. By doing this, you are reducing the amount of shared memories and emotions you have with each other. If you need to be with them because of some important reasons, keep yourself occupied and focus on your task. Try to be small and invisible so that they will not notice you. In this way, you are preventing yourself from feeding the energy that builds the potential feeling. If you really don’t want to fall in love with someone, then don’t make him a part of your life.

Be realistic

In order to train your brain, you need to practice being realistic. Stop thinking that you are in a fairy tale or a romantic movie. Avoid daydreaming and approach the situation logically. Face who they really are and be aware of their flaws and negative attitudes. It is not being a pessimist, but it is more about thinking of the consequences if you will let yourself fall in love with the wrong one.

Once you have gathered the ideas why you don’t want to fall in love with this particular person, remind yourself of these often. By doing it, you are preventing your brain to put them back on the pedestal.

Also, think if that romantic feeling can complicate your life. Be aware of the negative consequences of the relationship that you might have. Allow your brain to reason that it might be a bad idea to let yourself fall in love with a wrong person. Be strong, practical and be wise in choosing relationships.

Set boundaries

To keep yourself from falling in love, you need to draw a clear line by vocalizing your intention. You have to be direct. Be clear in your motives and decisions. Declare this boundary to the other person as well. Be firm in your decision and show it by your actions. If you really want to control your feelings towards another person, always remind yourself of your pure intentions. Stick to the boundary and guard your thoughts.

Make yourself busy

Do anything that will preoccupy your mind to prevent yourself from being focused to someone. Instead of wasting your time thinking about a person, do something useful and productive. Boredom can lead your mind to think and obsess over people who might be wrong for you.

 

You can do house chores, plant a flower, volunteer at the local library or find a part-time job. There are a lot of things that can be done to get your focus off that person. You should always think of ways on how to use your energy in helping your family and your community. Make a plan on how to use your time and be a productive person.

Focus on yourself

This is a great way to stop thinking about someone. Focus your attention on your personal goals and plans on how to achieve them. This is a positive strategy in shifting your brain gears. Not only that, you are also building a personal strength and confidence as you choose to forget those silly things.

Accomplish your goals in a timely fashion, sign up for classes that you like and participate in different activities. Plot your calendar events and prepare the materials that you need. Do things that will help you discover your talents, improve your skills and nurture the gifts that you have. In this way, you will not only forget about the other person, but you are also helping yourself to become better.

Control your actions

Most often, actions don’t compliment with your decision. Your feelings often lead you to continue doing the things that feed your attachment with someone. If you don’t want to fall in love, you have to act as if the other person does not exist. Cut off all your communication. Limit your conversations with them by not sending texts or emails anymore. To minimize the energy between the two of you, act cold and blunt so your feelings will not grow. Avoid looking at the person, stalking his Facebook accounts and talking about them. Don’t give him any attention. Stick to your firm boundary and be strong in your decision.

By doing these things, you are keeping your brain from receiving the reward signals that feed the feeling. You are also preventing the increase of chemicals and the hormones which are responsible in falling in love. You cannot stop yourself from liking someone but you can do something to keep yourself from falling in love. You can actually help your brain normalize by not feeding your emotions with actions. Discipline your thoughts and control your actions. In this way, you will be able to control your growing feelings with someone.

4 How to make yourself fall in love

Most often, people fall in love unexpectedly. They believe that you cannot teach yourself to love a particular person. This is the idea that love depends on fate and chemistry alone. This concept is somehow accepted today. However, you can do things that can influence your mind’s natural bonding process. There are actually a lot of factors that triggers a person to fall in love. There are situations and circumstances that cause a person to have this feeling.

A man and a woman who is involved in the same activity or group have a great possibility to fall in love with each other. You become more attracted to a person who has the same interests and hobbies with you. You like a person when you find him attractive and appropriate for you. The feeling grows when you see kindness and intelligence in that person.

Falling in love is not just a mystical process but it also involves some conditions and reasons. Therefore, you can also set the stage for love to happen in you. Here are some of the ways that could trick your brain and make you fall in love.

 

  •                
    Give reasons why you want to fall in love

Having a set of positive reasons why to fall in love will open your heart to possibilities. Think of the good things it might bring in your life. Imagine yourself being with someone and let yourself feel the longing and excitement. Once you’ve filled your mind with good reasons and positive thoughts about love, you will find yourself seeking for this emotional attachment with someone.

 

  •                
    Find the person you want to fall in love with

Get out of your comfort zone a little bit and meet new people. Do things that you enjoy and meet people who have the same interests with you. Start dating the person you like and want to have a relationship with. Look for someone who is compatible with you and can be your potential best friend as well.

While knowing that particular person, see him as a whole and balance his positive traits with the negative. Do a mental math by adding his positive characteristics and subtracting his imperfections. When you see the result as balanced and positive for you, then you can start thinking of that person as a potential lover. Check your compatibility to ensure a loving connection between the two of you. If you sense a strong connection as you spend time with that person, then he must be the right one to fall in love with.

  •                
    Show your attraction

This is a good start of falling in love especially when you sense that the other person is attracted to you. Express your attraction by giving physical cues, verbal compliments and glances. Let them know that you like them by expressing your interest in what they do, what they have, and what they are. Make them feel special. Spend time with the person more often, know more about him, enjoy things together and you will find yourself falling in love with that particular person.

  •                
    Give a steady gaze

Looking into each other’s eyes naturally creates a personal and shared bond as you fall in love. According to Psychology, mutual gazing has a relationship-cementing effect. A simple eye contact can make you and the other person fall in love. Gazing into someone’s eyes can produce passionate feelings and stimulates love and affection. This is because when you make an eye contact, your body releases a chemical called Phenylethylamine which makes a person feel in love.

If you want phenylethylamine gush through your veins, then look into the eyes of a person more often. Don’t be surprised if the other person does not meet your gaze, a look can also makes a person overwhelmed and uncomfortable.

  •                
    Open yourself up

In order for you to really fall in love, open yourself up to the other person emotionally. Take a risk and make yourself vulnerable with another person. It’s a way to deepen a relationship and create a strong attachment between the two of you.

Love is a choice

The feeling of falling in love does not only depend on the interaction of the hormones and chemicals. It can be concluded as a combination of brain chemistry, emotions and decision. Hormones are just some of the factors behind the feeling of love and attraction. It plays a huge role in helping a person fall in love, but staying in love takes commitment and effort.

People are responsible for whom they fall in love with and how they behave in a romantic relationship. Chemicals might contribute in your feeling and behavior, but these should not be an excuse for wrong doings. Make a right decision in this matter to avoid heartaches and depression. Prepare yourself first before entering into a relationship. If you find yourself ready to fall in love, brace yourself and get ready to dive in this exciting and wonderful feeling!

Conclusion

Thank you again for downloading this book! 

I hope this book was able to help you understand the scientific and chemical explanations of love.

The next step is to start practicing these ways on how to help yourself control your emotions or how to let yourself fall into the trap of love.

Finally, if you enjoyed this book, then I’d like to ask you for a favor, would you be kind enough to leave a review for this book on Amazon? It’d be greatly appreciated!

 

Click here to leave a review for this book on Amazon!

 

Thank you and good luck!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
:

Sean Clive is an Australian Author, psychologist, and life coach. He believes in getting to the route of the problem rather than using over the counter drugs and medications to help ease only the symptoms and has done about ten years of research in natural medicine and holistic healing. He also mentors and coaches people of all ages in different areas (including business, goal setting, self esteem and dating). Clive now shares his knowledge through kindle e-books.

 

I want to thank you and congratulate you for downloading the book,
Incredible power of Honesty: How to easily demand honesty, gain respect, and receive the priceless benefits from everyone on the way to ultimate happiness
.

This book contains proven steps and strategies on how to cultivate honesty and how it will provide you an ultimate happiness on your life.

It will introduce to  new way of finding happiness in your life. It will show you ways how to manifest happiness and it will also teach you how to sustain it.

Thanks again for downloading this book, I hope you enjoy it!

 Copyright 2015 by Sean Clive - All rights reserved.

 

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