A Brilliant Ride (15 page)

“Please practice this exercise. It will train your mind to release negativity,” he instructed. “You must admit, it does give you a sort of kick, doesn’t it?” He smiled broadly. “It’s important to replace every negative thought and vision with a positive one. Keep doing this until your mind is full of positive thoughts! With positive visualization and faith, all things are possible. You have the power to change your reality, my child. Remember, out with the negative; in with the positive.”

“I promise. I’ll practice. Thank you, Brilliant.”

“Magnificent! Now, let’s take a nice warm shower,” he chirped.

“What!”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Penelope. I don’t see you the way others do. To me you’re just energy…beautiful energy sparkling before me. I don’t see you with the eyes of a human.” I wasn’t sure of that and was hesitant to turn on the tap. “It’s the second part of the exercise,” he stated. “Trust me. The first half was okay; wasn’t it? I think you’ll agree it was actually quite helpful.”

I entered the shower and let the warm water run down my body. I heard Brilliant’s voice and was thankful I couldn’t see him.

“Penelope, feel the water running down your limbs and release all tension with the flow. Imagine the top of your head open to the soothing water. Picture the water running not only down your body, but through it, gushing past each one of your organs, cleansing and restoring them. Envision each drop of water holding great healing power, revitalizing and repairing every cell in your body. Rejoice as all sickness and disease, negativity and depression is washed down the drain.”

I did just as he said.

“Now, repeat after me: I love myself.”

“I love myself,” I said slowly.

“Yes, good, good…now, continue to repeat after me: I am healed, I am loved, I am revitalized, I am rejuvenated, I am beautiful, and I am victorious!”

“This feels fantastic!” I exclaimed.

I repeated the positive affirmations over and over again. The pulsing water felt like millions of energy bubbles cleansing and renewing me. It was invigorating and stimulating. “Whooohooo…love…love…love…feel the love,” I sang out loudly. “Love…love…love…feel it!” I danced around the shower with abandon. “I feel like a new person,” I exclaimed. Brilliant was gone, but the glorious feeling remained.

Feeling revitalized, I was ready to face the day with gusto. I wrapped a fluffy white towel around myself and bounded out of the bathroom, only to come crashing into Sam. His mouth was wide open.

“Pen…are you okay? He poked his head into the steamy room and looked around. “Were you talking to someone? Is someone in here with you?” He shook his head. “Were you singing?”

I smiled impishly and continued to the closet. “Oh that? Er, I was just…yes, singing. I mean, rehearsing.”

“Rehearsing?”

“Er, yes. A few of us, at the club, decided we might put together a talent show.” I searched for words. “Um…to raise money…for the whales,” I stut
tered. “Well, forget all that. What are you doing home so early?” I asked, covering my face with cold cream.

“I had a tennis match, and now I’m going to meet Jack Greer for a drink at Regal Rock. Do you want to join us?” he asked with a frown.

“No. I think I’ll stay and help the girls with their dance routine,” I said nervously. He looked at me with knitted eyebrows and started for the door, mumbling. “Have fun. Give my regards to Jack,” I stammered, my voice cracking a bit. He left without answering.

I sat staring at myself in the mirror.

If I were truly honest with myself I, too, would admit to having a list of clues. Jackie’s not alone. I’ve got my own evidence - lipstick stains, hotel receipts, phone conversations in hushed tones. I just choose to look the other way. It’s easier. Really, what are my choices? I could confront him, only to have him turn around and deny it. Or, we could roll into another argument, which is getting very old. Perhaps, I could even get him to fess up…and then what would I do? Would I forgive him? Would I leave him? Would I ever be able to look at him again?

That night Sam rolled in at 3:00am. He stumbled into the bedroom and threw his keys on the dresser, muttering to himself.

I sat up in bed with jolt. “Do you have any idea what time it is?”

“Yep, three,” he said flatly.

“Honestly, do you really think this is appropriate? You’re a married man with two children.”

“So what… gimme a break, everyone’s out but you. You should be out too. Instead, you’re home here like an old maid. Lighten up,” he spewed.

“Sam, that’s enough; you’re drunk. I’m so sick of this; it has to stop,” I said feeling my eyes well up.

He came at me in a rage, the veins popping out in his neck. I pulled the covers up to my chin, “Please, God, please.”

Sam stopped in his tracks. It was almost like he hit a wall. He was coming at me full speed and then suddenly stopped abruptly and fell silent. He looked at me blankly and mumbled as he backed away. “I’m sorry,” he whispered and stumbled backward, pulling his hands through his hair. “I’m…I’ll go sleep in the guest room…sorry.” He made his way out of the room and down the hall.

I sat still for a moment wondering whether he would return. He didn’t.

Then, I heard Brilliant’s voice, “I won’t allow it.” I knew Brilliant stopped him. I saw the look in Sam’s eyes, the shock, and shame. I was happy for the intersession. “Practice what you preach, Penelope.” Brilliant’s voice was calm and soothing. “Practice what you preach to your little girls. You continually tell them how special they are and how they should never let anyone mistreat them.” I closed my eyes and let the tears roll down, as I listened to his kindness pour out to me. “Stop, breathe, and fall into my arms. Let me carry you for a while.” I slept deeply.

The next morning
, Brilliant was sitting at my vanity fumbling with an eyelash curler. “Aha, you awaken,” he boomed. “Today we are going to work on change; class beings!”

I bolted up, holding my head.

“What is this?” he said, pointing to my flat iron.

“It straightens m
y hair.” I yawned and rubbed my eyes.

“Oh, there you go again. Look, all you need to straighten out your life is…”

“I know, I know…listen, isn’t it a bit early for this?”

“It’s never too soon for change! My dear, there really is no need for all these contraptions.” He tossed my electric curlers aside. “Remember, Penelope, beauty lies within.”

“Yes, I’ve heard…over and over and…”

“And another thing, the reason you feel so sluggish, and your skin has…well, I’ll put it to you nicely…a grey tone.”

“Grey?”

“Well, the reason for the sallow complexion is lack of sunlight; vitamin D is very important you know. You must take supplements, Penelope. Your diet isn’t supplying you with the necessary nutrients your body needs to work at its finest. You are very deficient in minerals, and you need to take in more anti-oxidants: fish oil, flax, green leafy vegetables, blueberries; try some dark chocolate. Yes, brightly colored fruits and vegetables; all naturally good for you. You need fiber, lean protein, almonds, maybe some CoQ10…”

“What?”

“Never mind, I’ll work on a diet plan for you and instruct Blossom directly.”

“I’m sure she’ll love that.” My face fell.

“Now, let’s get busy. I want you to stop seeing yourself as the victim, Penelope. You must v
isualize yourself as the victor.” He turned and winked at me. “Stop looking to others for validation. This is going to be your season. Everything is new again, a new season, a new day, a new time. This is your time for change. If you can’t change those around you, change yourself.”

“I’ve tried to change Sam, my marriage, my situation…”

“Yes, but when you can’t control the world around you, take control of yourself. Change yourself and affect a change around you. Sometimes, it’s a matter of letting go. You need to release the negativity and turn yourself around; move in a different direction. When you remain plugged into negative behavior, the scenario perpetuates. Penelope, my child, if the path you’re on is proving too difficult - it’s not fulfilling, too many roadblocks, too many pitfalls - then you’re not on your intended path.” He stood up and admired himself in the full-length mirror. “I am here to put you back on track and place you on your
perfect path
,” he beamed.

I pushed the hair out of my eyes and fumbled for the lamp. “It’s difficult to change,” I answered. “I start out with an intention, and I feel better for a while, but then it all seems overwhelming…mountainous. I guess I just don’t have the strength.” I sat up straightening the sheets around me. “I have been making a list of all the blessings in my life, and I’ve been practicing the release of negative thoughts. I do find that beneficial,” I said.

Brilliant strolled over to the bedside, and suddenly he was dressed in a beautifully tailored pinstripe suit with crisp white shirt and sky blue tie. “Very dashing, indeed,” I giggled.

“Yes, change. It can come quite quickly you see.” He smiled and adjusted his tie. “I know you seek change. You want to revitalize your life. So do it, Penelope. Change things. Each day change something. Change the part in your hair, change what side of the bed you get out on…change the furniture around the house. Change the energy, and watch how dramatically these small changes affect your environment.”

His voice was loud, and I wondered if the rest of the household could hear him. “You see, with each small change you make, the energy structure around you changes with it...it changes you. Be the change you want to create within yourself and your environment. Think of how you want to look, who you want to be, and how you want to live. Envision this new and improved version of you. Try it on, so to speak. Pretend you are this updated version of yourself. After a while, you’ll find you’re no longer pretending. Presto, your vision has become a reality.” He walked up and down with his hands behind his back.

“For instance, the toddler doesn’t questio
n whether he can walk. In his mind’s eye, he sees himself walking and so he sets off. If he falls, he keeps trying. He doesn’t wallow in a negative state of mind; no fear of failure. You see, Penelope, the child has blind faith, vision, and perseverance. He becomes the vision he holds in his mind. It’s when fear becomes stronger than faith that all humans get stuck. I’m here to give you that push and the confidence you need to believe in your dreams and realize them. First, you must be certain of what you want.”

I had to admit, it all made perfec
t sense; so simple, so logical.

“Choose, Pene
lope. Don’t just float along. Make your dreams a reality. Own your desires, and bring them to fruition.” His voice rang out. “Envision, have faith, and practice. You have to SEE IT to BE IT.”

To my dismay
, Mother arrived later that morning with a six piece set of matching crocodile luggage, confirming the feared extinction of the mighty reptile. Her chauffeur, Peter, stood at attention holding her fur in one hand and a box of truffles in the other.

“Robert is on business in Geneva, and my gall bladder is acting up…big kiss…mwaaaah.” She pushed past me.

Peter followed in a robotic march and handed me the chocolates, in an effort to sweeten me up. Blossom held her heart, mumbling something from Psalms, and the girls ran up and threw themselves into Mother’s arms.

“Oh my beautiful granddaughters,” she said and kissed them both. “My spectacular princesses…come and help Grandmother up to her room.”

“Her room?” Blossom stammered.

“Oh God,” I whimpered.

“Where is Sam?” barked Mother.

“Oh…he’ll be home…soon,” I answered breathing heavily.

The girls hurried to help Mother get settled in the powder blue guest room. This meant changing the furniture around and hanging her favorite painting over the bed, a modern twist on the Annunciation, which looked more like a crane and a banana on the beach. But, what do I know?

“Peter will stay in the guest suite over the garage,” Mother commanded. “Maria couldn’t come; she has to oversee the paperhangers. I’m having the sitting room redone.”

“Blossom will be more than happy to get him settled in,” I lied, avoiding Blossom’s stare. I then made a mental note not to lie so much (Brilliant’s influence).

Sam arrived home at 7pm and fell right in step with Mother, their two egos soaring as they slung compliments back and forth. The evening started off with a bang. Sam played the piano, while Mother sang show tunes at the top of her lungs.

“Oh, Pen
elope, do join in. Why are you holding your head?”

“I’m holding my head so it doesn’t pop off and roll right past the two of you,” I stammered.

“Oh, you’re being silly again; have another cocktail.”

After the floor show, we enjoyed an interestin
g dinner. Blossom and Peter spent the entire day in the kitchen, melding their unique culinary talents, resulting in an unusual gastronomic experience. We started with Plantain Fritters and spicy Gumbo followed by a main course of Beef Wellington and baked yams. Desert was a tray of Pears Flambé, which sent the girls shrieking from the room.