A Cadence Creek Christmas (Cadence Creek Cowboys) (12 page)

“Figuring that out is a good thing, right?”

“To be honest, it’s been a little bit painful.”

They pulled into Callum’s driveway. Rhys parked at the far side, giving them a little space away from the house, and killed the lights.

“Sometimes the best lessons we learn are the ones that hurt the most.”

She laughed a little. “Helpful.”

But he reached over and took her gloved hand in his. “I mean it, Taylor. My mother told me once that we rarely learn anything from our successes, and the best teachers are our failures. It hurts, but I have to believe it always comes out better on the other side.” He squeezed her fingers. “I wish you didn’t have to go.”

She wanted to say “me, too,” but it would only make things worse, wouldn’t it? Why wish for something that wasn’t going to happen?

“Right. Well. Before you go in...I uh...” He cleared his throat. “I saw this earlier in the week and...”

He reached into his pocket and held out a small rectangular box. “Merry Christmas.”

“You got me a present?”

“It’s not much.”

“Rhys, I...”

“Don’t open it now, okay? Let’s just say good-night and Merry Christmas.”

She tucked the package into her purse. “Merry Christmas,” she whispered, unbuckling her seat belt.

She looked up into his face. How had she ever thought it wasn’t handsome? It was strong and fair and full of integrity and sometimes a healthy sense of humor. Before she could change her mind she pushed against the seat with one hand, just enough to raise her a few inches so she could touch her lips to his. The kiss was soft, lingering, beautiful and sad. It was the goodbye they should have had yesterday morning. It filled her heart and broke it in two all at the same time.

“Goodbye, Rhys.”

She slid out of the truck before she could change her mind. Took one step to the house and then another. Heard the truck engine rev behind her, the creak and groan of the snow beneath the tires as Rhys turned around and drove away for the last time.

She took a few seconds on the porch to collect herself. She didn’t want her family to see her cry or ask prying questions. She had to keep it together. Celebrate the holiday the way she’d intended—with them all together and happy. And if she had to fake it a little bit, she would. Because she was starting to realize that she’d been faking happiness for quite a while now.

She was just in time to kiss Nell good-night; to sit with her family and share stories of holidays gone by. Jack arrived and added to the merriment. After her brother and parents left for the B&B, she stayed up a little longer and chatted with Callum and Avery before the two of them went down the hall hand in hand. No one had asked about Rhys, almost as if they’d made a pact to spare her the interrogation. But as she finally burrowed beneath the covers on the sofa bed, she let the emptiness in. Because in the end she was alone. At Christmas. And her heart was across town, with Rhys.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

C
HRISTMAS
MORNING
DAWNED
cool and sunny. Taylor heard Callum sneak out just after five to do the milking; she fell back to sleep until Avery got up and put on coffee around seven. With Nell being too young to understand it all, there was no scramble for presents under the tree. Nell slept late after the busy night before, and Avery brought Taylor a coffee then slipped beneath the covers with her own mug.

Taylor looked over at her sister in law. “I think I would have liked having a sister if this is what it’s like. Jack and Callum’s idea of this would be to count to three and jump on the bed and see if they could make me yell. Extra points if they left bruises.”

Avery smiled. “It was like this for me and my sister. I’m really glad you’re here, Taylor. It’s been so very nice.”

“I’m glad I came, too.”

“Even though it’s bothering you to leave Rhys?”

Taylor nodded.

They sipped for a moment more before Avery took the plunge. “Did you fall in love with him? Or was it just a fling?”

Taylor curled her hands around the mug. “It would be easier to say it was a fling.”

“But it wasn’t?”

She shook her head.

Avery laughed. “I don’t know whether to offer my congratulations or my sympathy.”

“What do you mean?” Taylor looked over at her. “Do I look happy about it?”

“Yes. And no. You light up when you talk about him, you know.”

No, she hadn’t known. Damn.

“Falling in love is a bit of a miracle, don’t you think? So that’s the congrats part. And the sympathy comes in because I can tell you’re confused and that’s not easy.”

“I live in Vancouver.”

Avery nodded. “When I met Callum, I lived in Ontario. My life and job were there.”

“But you could quit your job. It’s different when you own your own venture. It would be harder for you now, with your bakery business, wouldn’t it?”

“Difficult, but not impossible.”

Taylor let out a frustrated sigh. “Avery, I get what you’re saying. I do. But I’ve spent years building this business and my reputation. I’ve known Rhys less than a month.”

Avery smiled softly. “I know. If you didn’t have the business in the way, what would you do?”

See where it leads.

The answer popped into her mind with absolute ease. But it wasn’t just up to her. “Rhys never once asked me to stay or hinted at anything past our...”

“Affair?”

Taylor blushed.

Avery finished her coffee. “It’s that serious, then.”

“Look,” she said, frustration in her voice. “Last night he said he wished I didn’t have to go but that’s not the same thing as asking me to stay or when I’m coming back.”

“Why would he ask when he’s sure of the answer? Have you given him any reason to think you would stay? Told him how you feel?”

She hadn’t.

“Only because I’m positive nothing could come of it except our being hurt even more. Besides, there’s a good chance he doesn’t feel the same way. He told me straight out that he liked me because I was a challenge. That I was low risk because I was leaving anyway.”

Avery snorted. “Oh, my God, that’s romantic.”

Taylor couldn’t help it. She started laughing, too. “I’ll be fine, Avery, promise. I just need to get back to a normal schedule. And first we have a Christmas breakfast to cook. You’re the whiz, but I’m happy to be your sous-chef today.”

“Deal,” Avery said.

Babbling sounded from the second bedroom and Avery grinned. “Let me get the princess changed and fed first.”

While she was gone and the house was quiet, Taylor snuck out of bed and got the box from her coat pocket. She didn’t want to open it when anyone else was around. Sitting on the bed in her pajamas, she carefully untied the ribbon and unwrapped the red foil paper.

Inside the box was a necklace—the very same horseshoe necklace she’d been admiring at the silversmith’s the other day. She lifted it gently and watched the U-shaped pendant sway as it dangled from the chain. How had he known it was just what she liked? It was simple but beautiful. When she went to put it back in the box, she heard a strange ruffle when her fingers touched the cotton padding. Curious, she moved it out of the box and saw the folded note hidden beneath.

For all the times you need a horseshoe to rub for good luck. Merry Christmas, Rhys.

He remembered, but he’d hidden the note, as if he didn’t want her to find it right away. As if—perhaps—he’d meant her to discover it after she was home again and it would remind her of the time they’d spent together.

She didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

She tucked the necklace back in the box. She wouldn’t wear it today, not when everyone was around. She didn’t want any more questions about her relationship with Rhys. She just wanted to keep this one thing private, like a secret they shared. Cherished.

But she thought about it as the rest of the family arrived, breakfast was served, presents were opened. And when there was a lull, she took the necklace out of her bag and tucked it into her pocket, where it rested warmly within the cotton.

An hour or so before dinner, it all got to be too much so she excused herself and bundled up for a short walk and some fresh air to clear her head. She was partway down the lane when a dull thud echoed on the breeze. She turned around to see her dad coming down the steps, dressed in Callum’s barn coat and a warm toque and gloves. “Hey, wait up,” he called.

She had no choice but to wait.

When he reached her they continued walking, the sun on the snow glittering so brightly that Taylor wished she’d put on her sunglasses. “It’s been a good day,” Harry said easily, falling into step.

“We haven’t all been together like this in a long time.” Taylor let out a big breath. “It’s been good.”

“Yes, it has.”

Silence fell, slightly awkward.

“Taylor, I’ve gotten the impression you’re not completely happy. Are you okay?”

Her heart clubbed. “What gave you that idea?”

“Your mother pointed out a few things. And then there’s this Rhys guy. You seem half miserable, half thrilled about it.”

She huffed out a laugh. “That about sums it up.”

“Is it just this guy? Or is it work, too?”

She frowned. “You don’t have to sound so hopeful about it. I know you don’t like what I do and you’d love to see me settled with kids like Callum.”

There. She’d come right out and said it.

Harry let out a long sigh. “I haven’t been very fair. Or put things the right way.”

Her feet stopped moving, as if they had a mind of their own. “What?”

She looked up at him, suddenly realizing why his eyes seemed so familiar. They looked like hers.

“I don’t hate what you do. I resent it a bit, that’s all.”

“I don’t get it.”

Harry started walking again. “Callum joined the military instead of going to college. It wasn’t my first choice, but when your son says he wants to serve his country, it’s a hard thing to find fault with. Then with Jack...we both knew he couldn’t ski forever. But after his accident and after the scandal...” There was a telling pause. “When he came to me asking to help him start Shepard Sports, I couldn’t say no. It was good to see the light in his eye again. He could have died on that hill.”

“What does this have to do with me, Dad?”

“I built my company from the ground up, Taylor. Neither of my boys were interested in finance. But you...you weren’t just my last chance to pass it on to one of my kids. I could see the talent in you. You’re good at making money, maybe even better than Jack. And you weren’t interested in the least in the market or fund management or anything I do.”

“You wanted me to work for you?”

“With me. Eventually.”

“I thought you thought what I do is stupid.”

He stopped walking again. “I was jealous of it.”

“You never said anything.”

“I kept hoping you’d come to me. I didn’t want to pressure you.”

“Instead you just made me feel like a disappointment.” She wasn’t holding anything back today. Maybe Rhys’s way of plain speaking was rubbing off.

“I know. And I’m sorry. The truth is that you should do what makes you happy. I can’t put my wishes on you kids. I’m proud of all of you for being strong and smart enough to make your own way.”

“Even if it’s planning frivolous parties?”

He chuckled. “I’ve seen your mother work her magic enough times at our small functions to know that a big event takes massive planning. You’ve got a talent, Taylor. And again, I’m sorry that my selfish pride took away from that.”

They turned around and headed back, the house waiting for them at the end of the lane, snowbanks curling along the driveway and the remnants of her snowman listing lazily to one side. Her father’s approval meant a lot. But she was also realizing that his validation wasn’t everything. Her restlessness and drive wasn’t about proving herself. It was about looking for something that was missing. It was about meaning, not accomplishment.

“I wish I could tell you that I could join the firm, but I need something that makes me excited to get up in the morning, Dad. I know fund management isn’t it. I’m sorry, too. I wish you’d told me sooner.”

“All I’ve ever really wanted for my kids is for them to be happy. If you’re not, I want to know if there’s anything we can do to help.”

“Oh, Daddy.” She stopped and gave him a hug, warmth spreading through her as he put his strong arms around her and hugged her back. “Thank you for that. I’ve got to figure it out on my own, that’s all.”

“Well, anything worth having is going to take a lot of work. If it was easy it wouldn’t mean half so much. And none of my kids are quitters.”

“No, we’re not.”

“You’ll figure it out,” he assured her. “Now, let’s get back. I’m getting cold and I swear I can smell the turkey clear out here.”

Taylor walked beside her father, feeling like a weight had been lifted. And yet a heaviness remained, too. Because their conversation hadn’t offered any insight into what she should do about her current situation. So much for her creative, problem-solving mind. All she could see right now was a massive New Year’s party that needed finalizing and about a dozen employees who were counting on her to keep their lives afloat. Where could she and Rhys possibly fit into that?

* * *

No stormy weather or mechanical failures had the grace to delay her flight, so bright and early on Boxing Day Taylor took the rental car back to the depot and walked into the departures area of the airport. Her feet were heavy and her stomach felt lined with lead as she tugged her suitcases behind her. She should be glad to be going home to her apartment, her regular routine, familiar things. Her muffin and coffee from the café around the corner each morning. Walks in Stanley Park. Warmer temperatures. Shopping. Work.

It would be good. It would be fine.

After she checked her bags she went through security and to the gate, even though she had nearly an hour to spare. She checked her phone, going through the email that was waiting for her attention. There was a rather frantic one from her New Year’s client, and Taylor’s blood pressure took a sudden spike. It was only five days to the party and the construction of the aquariums was delayed. He’d emailed her on Christmas Day, for heaven’s sake. Like she could—or would—have done anything during that twenty-four hour period. People did celebrate holidays, she thought grumpily. Even workaholics.

Her fingers paused over the keypad. Was that what she was? A workaholic?

She scanned through the rest, knowing she should cool off before responding, and saw an urgent reply from her assistant, Alicia. Everything was under control. The aquariums were set to be delivered on the morning of the thirtieth, the fish would come a day later when the tank conditions were at the proper levels, and everything else was on schedule.

Taylor let out a breath. Why had she even worried? Alicia could handle anything their clients dished out. She never panicked and she was incredibly resourceful. Heck, Taylor wasn’t even really needed.

She put the phone down on her lap as the thought sunk in.

She wasn’t really needed
.

The truth should have been obvious before. She was great at her job. She knew how to make the impossible happen. It stood to follow that she’d train her staff the same way. Alicia had been her right-hand girl for three years. She’d managed smaller events on her own. This party was probably the biggest challenge they’d had in a while and all Taylor had done was been available by email simply to confirm or approve changes in plan. Alicia had done the grunt work. She and her team had put it together.

And yet Taylor couldn’t just walk away. She owned the business after all.

Suddenly her conversations with family came back with disturbing clarity.
What you’re doing isn’t giving you that same buzz,
Jack had said.
Something’s missing.
And he’d gone on to say that what had given him the most fulfillment was his corporate retreat business. That it was more than just buying and selling. That it was about people.

An even bigger surprise was how her father had taken her aside yesterday afternoon. Just before they’d gone inside, he’d added one little addendum to their conversation. “I want you to know that I couldn’t have done what I have all these years without your mother. Without all of you. Don’t let life pass you by, sweetheart. Build your business with people you trust, but build your life with people you love.”

People you trust. People you love.

The solution was so clear she couldn’t believe it had taken her so long to put it together.

Even though it was still a statutory holiday, she scanned through her directory and found the number she was looking for. A quick call later and she was heading to the gate desk where two service agents had just arrived.

“I need you to pull my bags, please,” she said, holding out her boarding pass.

The first agent came to the desk. “I’m sorry? This is the flight to Vancouver, leaving in forty minutes.”

“Yes, and I checked in and this is my seat, 12F. But I’m not going to be leaving on it, so I need you to pull my bags.”