A Chance for Sunny Skies (20 page)

The news anchors' set sat to my right and I watched as a guy named Russ counted them down and they started their broadcast. I don't think I heard anything they said until, "Now we have Sunny Skies with our weekend weather forecast."

I pasted a smile on my face and the lights I'd helped set up now felt like they were trying to set me on fire. No wonder Jeannette and Ken were always in such bad moods, this was downright uncomfortable. Burt rotated his hand in the air and I realized, oh yeah! I needed to talk -- er -- read the teleprompter. I looked ahead at the screen and squinted.

"Hello, Oregonians!" I big-teeth-smiled and sucked in my stomach, curving my back and tipping my head to make myself look cute and nonchalant. "Um...." My cheeks heated up and my eyes flashed around the studio, I couldn't seem to focus on anything but Burt chewing on his nails and Spencer pacing in the back. I couldn't fail them. Actually, I couldn't fail me.

I laughed. "Ha! Sorry. I seem to be a bit foggy today." I didn't even get the weather pun until it was out, but then it hit me and my nerves loosened their hold on my throat. "Unlike your weekend, Willamette Falls." I gave the camera a wink and brought my arms up to motion at the images on the green screen like Burt had taught me.

"We have a weekend of great weather ahead. Both Saturday and Sunday show highs in the mid to upper seventies with a much-needed cool down into the sixties during the night. We will see some slight showers on Sunday night, tapering off as we head into Monday morning." The words scrolled as I read them from the teleprompter, but they were boring and pat and sounded too much like Ken and Jeannette for my taste, so I improvised. "Don't put those bikinis away just yet, that beach-weather will return just in time for spring break." I leaned in closer to the camera for my last gem. "Plus, with all that rain, the trees sure will be looking re-leaved." I chuckled and I'm pretty sure my smile was larger than the pressure system approaching.

The teleprompter told me to sign off and so I did, using the one I may or may not have started practicing once I realized this job might be in my future. "Have a great weekend, Willamette Falls. And remember, with me, you always have a chance of sunny skies." I let my shoulders scrunch up and released them happily as Burt signaled I was off-air.

I gasped for air, realizing that I hadn't been doing that well at taking it in or pushing it out while I was on camera. As I caught my breath and stepped forward, I was surrounded with smiling, complimenting people.

I had read the weather and it hadn't been a disaster.

"I can't believe I missed it," Brian said as he sat next to me on my couch and wrapped his arm around my shoulders.

I shrugged. "It was so last minute, I didn't have time to call anyone." I leaned back into him, careful not to mess up my hair too much. I had left the fancy do and only wiped off some of the makeup before he'd come over, having liked it more than I wanted to admit. "Plus, I didn't know if I was going to freeze or not and it was better that I didn't know anyone special could see it."

He nodded and kissed me on the cheek. "I'm so proud of you."

I turned my face toward him and the cheek-kiss became an I-just-read-the-news celebratory make out session. I really liked Brian. He was funny, kind, and great to go out places with. Plays, movies, musicals, even dinner was filled with our laughter and I realized that our friendship had become super important to me. However, all of that ran a close second to how much I loved kissing him. Curling up next to him on the couch, laying my head on his chest or shoulder, and knowing I could fall into a deep, wonderful lip-lock at any moment made my toes curl up and my heart soar.

Having done the kissing a lot (I mean, a lot), we were branching out into more touching and exploring lately (equally as wonderful, I might add). Brian brushed my hair back and wrapped his hand gently around the back of my neck as he pulled me closer and I shifted my body so I sat on his lap. The whole exchange happened without even a hitch in our kissing. I let my head fall back as he moved his lips down to my neck.

There was some sort of crazy phenomenon that happened when he kissed me. I mean on the street, at work, every where else, I was normal Sunny. New Sunny, sure, more confident and better at talking to people, but still just Sunny. I still had insecurities, I would never be asked if I modeled, I didn't feel particularly sexy, and the only real reason people usually looked at me for more than a passing second was because of my unusual hair.

Give me a few minutes kissing Brian, however, and I felt like a Victoria's Secret model. It felt like we were reenacting (possibly even blowing away) all of those sexy make out scenes in movies. Maybe it was because my eyes were mostly closed and in your head you can look like whatever you want, but I felt like my body was amazing, that Brian was some sort of office-working-sex-god, that together, we could cause some sort of cataclysmic, world-ending event.

I didn't have much to reference it all to, granted. My kissing experience before him pre-dated puberty and I'm pretty sure most of those guys had either bad breath, braces, or both. Regardless, I felt pretty confident in saying that Brian had a talented tongue. He could turn my knees to liquid with a kiss and I was in dangerous Wicked-Witch-of-the-West-melting territory if he took it any further than that.

This archery loving, glasses wearing, neat freak knew what he was doing. I hoped I held my own and had worried about it for a few days, but I seemed to be getting exclusively good reactions, so I stopped fretting and focused on fondling.

Speaking of, it felt pretty humid from all the rubbing together and breathing, so I grabbed a clip off my side table and twisted my hair up. While my hands were busy, Brian started unbuttoning my shirt. My lips curled up and I let myself fall into him again, placing my hands on either side of his face as his moved inside my shirt and around my back. We hadn't had sex, yet, but I'd thought about it a lot. A real lot. Now it was the only thought in my mind, all I wanted to happen.

So of course my phone started ringing.

I groaned and sat up straight. "Why now?" I complained as I leaned over to peek at who it was. Maybe I could ignore it...

The name that flashed across the screen made my heart stop. In the middle of leaning over, I lost my balance and fell off Brian, face-planting into the arm of the couch.

"Who is it?" Brian asked, not knowing how bad it was.

"My mother." My words were muffled as I answered, face still shoved into the cushioning of the couch.

Brian helped me back up and I grabbed my phone on my way past the table. I scooted off his lap and plopped next to him, trying to breathe as I watched the word "Bunny" shimmer on the screen in front of me. My mind was having a screaming match with itself. Between "Answer it!" and "Are you kidding? Don't!" I wanted to close my eyes and hide.

Brian's hand landed softly on my arm and my frantic eyes moved to his face. It was soft and his mouth was slightly red from our kissing (which made me smile). He simply gave me his signature half-smile and a slow nod, a you-can-do-this nod. Even though he had no idea who it was or what the doing would take.

I pulled in a deep deep breath. Then I answered the phone.

"Hello."

"Sunny." Her voice proper and flat, as usual.

"Uh, what's up?"

"Well, I was watching the news and saw you reading the weather." It wasn't a question, but there were about seventy-two questions hidden within her scolding tone. The way she stated it, she might as well have said, "How could you not have told me about this?"

I swallowed. Waiting for more, but she was tough and had some sort of gold medal from the devil in shaming, so she stayed silent on the other end.

"Yeah," I finally said. "I -- uh -- was just standing in. It was an emergency." I could almost hear my words echoing in the empty vast expanse of her giant, marbled house.

"Oh," she said, her voice sounding even more stand-offish. "Just a stand in. Well."

I closed my eyes for a second as I fell back into the little insecure girl I used to be, still kept inside. The one who just wanted her mom to be around, to love her, play with her, even talk to her. This was the pattern with my mother. No, scratch that, you actually need to have a relationship with someone to have a pattern. Our lunch all those weeks ago had proven that.

"Sorry to disappoint you." It was a quiet mumble that I'm almost certain she heard, but pretended not to. Brian's eyes contracted and his face dropped as he watched me. He reached out and held my hand as my mother continued talking.

"The girls were talking about how you don't look as large and how it finally appeared that you had gotten your hair under some control. They asked me to invite you to Vaughn's party -- you know he's turning ten this year -- so they could ask you what being part of the media is really like, but I suppose if you were just a stand in..."

The girls. Of course. Her Bridge-playing gal pals that each had just as much money and free time as her; it was always about the girls, impressing them, one-upping them, vacationing with them. I had forgotten that even though I moved away from the rich part of town, they were still a part of the valley and would get the same news station.

Talking about me through the girls' comments had always been my mother's way of telling me what she thought. "The girls are afraid your weight is getting out of hand, Sunny." (Even though I was only a size six and fifteen at the time.) "The girls were talking about how their daughters don't know who you are." A small anger burnt inside my chest about it and it grew as I thought about how she had obviously called to tell me she was proud of me (that the girls were finally interested in me), but had found out, once again, that I was merely a disappointment.

"Actually," I said, without knowing why, without stopping myself. "I stood in today, but I'm going to apply for the position next week, so hopefully it will become a full-time thing." I ignored how Brian's head shot back and how his eyebrows furrowed in question.

"Oh. Well, that changes things." Bunny Skies really only had two tones: disappointed and not-as-disappointed. The difference between them was subtle, but I felt it in her inflection. I took in a deep breath as she continued. "The party is in three weeks, wear cocktail attire, please bring a date and a present, and be ready to fill everyone in on your new position."

Then she hung up. The tightness in my chest loosened and I put the phone in my lap, head falling back out of exhaustion.

"
That
was your mother?" He cringed.

I nodded. "
That
was her." I picked my head back up and looked at him. "Pleasant, isn't she?"

He scooted closer to me. "Sunny, no more joking. She sounds..." he paused, looking very unsure if he should say what he thought.

"Horrifying?" I guessed for him.

He nodded, eyes wide.

"Why did you say you were going to interview for the job? You didn't mention --"

"I know, I know!" I interrupted him and rubbed my face. "It just came out. Disconnected as she is, that was the first time she's said anything remotely nice about me in... ever." My eyes focused on his and I pleaded for him to understand, for him not to think I was weak. "Being a weather girl actually was part of my plan, anyway," I said. I realized that I was getting dangerously close to the whole near-death-visions story, so I added, "Because of my name."

Brian sighed.

"And Spencer said I did a great job today, that they got a really good response online to me. He didn't even mind when I didn't follow the prompter."

Brian smiled. "Okay. If it's really what you want. I just don't think it's healthy to do things because your mom is scary and you want her to be proud of you."

I put my hand up. "I swear that's not it." I gave him a sideways look and pursed my lips to stop from smiling. "Now, where were we?" I moved back onto his lap and ran my fingers through his hair. "Oh, and I may need a date for a dog's birthday party, if you would escort me."

His face scrunched together. "A
dog's
birthday party?"

I bit my lip and nodded. "Vaughn. He's her latest Saluki -- that's an expensive dog breed. She always has one. When one dies, she buys another one so she can take it to shows and pay thousands of dollars on grooming each month."

He shook his head. "And throw them birthday parties?"

"Exactly." I looked down. "I got them, too. The elaborate birthday parties, that is, not the dogs." I looked up and met his blue eyes. "The difference is that the dogs got to help her plan their parties and I didn't. She picked whichever hors d’oeuvres the dog seemed to like best, whatever color they sat on was the theme for the party, and their dog friends were all invited. Me? I just showed up to a bunch of grown ups I didn't know, food I hated, and presents that didn't seem fit for a little girl."

Brian pulled me into a hug. Tears wanted to come out, but I really didn't want them to. I wanted to be stronger than that.

"I hated those damn dogs," I said, sniffling and realizing the battle to keep the tears back was lost.

Brian rubbed my back and said, "Well, yeah. It sounds awful." He let me cry for a few minutes, but I wanted to be done, so I pulled away from him and wiped my eyes. My fingers were covered in wet, black mascara and I regretted keeping the makeup on. I probably looked like a member of Kiss.

"I even have to bring him a birthday present! All she sends me for my birthday each year is a card with a check. Just signed, no special message, nothing." I rubbed my hand across my runny nose. "What do you even get a dog for its birthday?"

Right as I asked the question, I knew. The dog collar. It was stupid, rich-looking, and over-the-top look-at-me ridiculous. It would be perfect. Something curled deep inside my stomach when I realized that this also meant that going to that dog birthday party, talking to my mother again, it was all part of the universe's plan for me. I had tried too soon. My lunch with her had been my idea, not the universe's. This party was part of the plan. My heart jumped at the hope that this time it might work.

Brian laughed. "You're making the weirdest face right now. What are you thinking of?"

I blinked and focused on him. "Oh, I just thought about something I could give Vaughn. That's all." I swiped at my eyes and pressed my lips together, sighing through my nose and shaking my head. "Sorry you had to deal with all of this today. Talk about a roller coaster."

Brian didn't answer, but smiled, leaned forward, and started to kiss me again. However, this time, there was something behind his kiss that wasn't there before. I pulled back and shook my head.

"I'm all gross now. My nose is runny. My make up is ruined." I left out, "You shouldn't want me," but it was definitely in my head, in my heart.

Brian grabbed a tissue from the side table and dabbed at my eyes, then my nose. "Sunny, I think you look wonderful, like you always do." His eyes moved away from mine, jumping to my mouth, to my neck. "I think you're amazing and I want to be here when you have to deal with things like this. I want to make it better. I'm sorry you had a crap childhood."

I leaned forward and kissed him. I felt even more amazing than a Victoria's Secret model. I felt like I could do anything. Even...

I stopped, pulled back, and looked at Brian. "I've never had sex before." Old Sunny would never have said anything so straight forward or true. Heck, she wouldn't have even been in this situation, obviously. New Sunny beamed at the simplicity of being brave.

Especially when Brian shrugged and said, "So?"

My head shot back and I said, "You don't care?"

He gave me a half-smile and squinted one eye. "It's not like I'm some sort of master. The few times I've done it have been less than great. They weren't with people I really cared about. Not like you." He ran his hands through my hair as he looked at me like no one had ever looked at me before.