A Changed Life (22 page)

“Why isn’t she waking up?” Mom shouted. I could make out her voice, along with muffled sounds all around. I heard my father trying to comfort her. I was trying to listen for Simon…. remembering him finding me on Michael’s boat, and the look on his face as I closed my eyes. The sound of loud and shuffling chairs faded. I couldn’t open my eyes or speak, but my body felt his presence all around me. Next I felt warm hands fold into mine. I knew it was him. Simon was here with me. My heavy eyes would not open. I tried with all my efforts to acknowledge Simon, but they wouldn’t move.

I felt pain throughout my entire body, no use on fighting right now to wake up, I was exhausted. While he held his hands in mine, I heard him over and over again say how much he loves me, as he begged me to wake up. His voice was laced with pain.

“Nicolette, please wake up. You need to open your eyes, and come back to me. I love you so much, and I am so sorry for not protecting you. I should have never let you go that night. This is my fault, and I wish I can take all your pain away.”

The sound of his cries was breaking my already broken heart. I wanted to comfort him, but darkness consumed me once more, and I was out. I fought my mind to open my eyes, but it was so strong, and kept me quiet and still. I heard crying from Gracie, and my mom. I heard others talking around me. My friends Alexis and Bailey, and of course, Simon. I felt his hands on mine again, and I was comforted in knowing he was by my side. He was reading to me. I felt wetness on my cheeks, as his tears fell down onto my face. He was gently kissing my cheek, and pleading with me to wake up.

“Please baby come back to me. Open your eyes, Nicolette. I love you so much.”
I’m trying Simon. I want to see you too.

My eyes were sore, the pain pulsating through them felt like razor blades. With all my effort I tried to open them, this time succeeding. Very slowly, I blinked at the lights above me. The light was so bright; I had to blink several times to get used to the brightness in my room. I looked over to my right side, and there he sat sleeping. Simon was here with me. I’ve never seen him with hair on his face; he had to be here the entire time. My man needs a shave. Just looking at him made me forget for a brief moment why I was here.

His hands were wrapped around my arm, that didn’t have an IV connected to it. Lifting my fingers onto his shaggy hair, and gently tugging to get his attention. Simon woke up startled, and got his bearings. Simon took one look at me, and breathed out a sigh of relief that I was finally awake. Tears were falling down Simon’s cheeks, he just leaned into me, and whispered, “Thank you god.”

Simon called for my parents, and my doctor. My mother ran over to me, and cried. Gently caressing my skin, not knowing where I hurt, she was very careful. The truth was my body felt like I was run over by a truck. I ached everywhere, especially my heart.

“Thank god baby, you’re awake. We love you so much.” I looked at mom, and dad just holding each other, and crying.

Simon was on the phone, when a tall slender woman walked in to my room. She introduced herself as Dr. Jonas. She spoke with a Swedish accent, but I understood her clearly.

“Welcome back, can you tell me where you are?” She asked me. I replied, “Hospital.” “How are you feeling?”

“Alive.”

“Can you tell me your pain level on a scale from 1 to 10?”

I weakly replied, “twenty-five.”

“Ok Nicolette, I’m going to check your vitals, and then we will talk.” Everyone left my room, except my mom, who held my hand, and silently cried for me. Nicolette, your IV will be disconnected in a little while, along with your catheter. I just want to make sure you are fully hydrated before doing so. Nicolette, you have been a sleep for the last 36 hours, can you remember anything prior before waking up?

What a stupid question! Yes, I can remember what brought me here. I was brutally raped! I was screaming at her in my head.
“Yes, I remember everything.”

“You have a concussion from where you hit your head. You do have a significant bump along with scrapes, and bruising on your skin. You suffered some trauma to your uterine wall, and a tear which we had to repair. You have some stitches inside that will dissolve, and you may experience some discomfort over the next few days. Nicolette, while you were unconscious, I had to perform a number of tests, and an examination. It’s called a rape kit. By law, I am required to collect evidence of your attack.” My mother interrupted Dr. Jonas explanation.

“Do you really need to give her every grave detail? She has been put through enough.”

“Mrs. Vanelle, I have to make Nicolette aware of all that has happened, since she was brought in and admitted to my hospital. Your daughter is legally an adult, and I have to disclose all information to my patient.”

“Well she’s my daughter, and all I’m asking for is some sensitivity.”

Hello! I’m in the room if you hadn’t noticed.
“It’s all right mom, please let her finish.”

Turning back at me, Dr. Jonas carries on with her explanation. “As I was saying Nicolette, we gathered evidence, and it is now in the hands of the police. The detectives will probably want to speak with you, now that you’re awake.”

“Can I have a shower first?”

“Of course you can, do you think you could stand on your own?”

“I think so, I will take it slow.”

“I’ll have the nurse come in right away, to remove you of your IV, and help you into the shower.” Hearing that a nurse would help me, mom dismissed Dr. Jonas, and telling her she would help me. I wanted to roll my eyes at my mother because she was being rude to my doctor. I didn’t have the strength to call her out on her behavior. She wanted to help me, and I needed to let her.

Helping me out of bed, I leaned on my mother as she walked me into the bathroom. I was wearing a hospital gown. The thought of someone removing my clothes terrified me. Then I remembered that I had already been naked from Michael ripping my clothes away from my body. Oh my god, Simon saw me naked after the attack. Oh my god, Oh my god. My heart began to race as my body continued to shake.

“Nicolette, it’s ok. Mommy’s here.”

Blinking my eyes open. “Did I pass out?” I was on the floor with my mom holding me. My eyes looked all around the room, until I focused them back on her.

“What happened?”

“You must have gotten dizzy, and then you passed out in my arms. Nicolette, you’re exhausted. Let’s get you back into bed and you can shower later after you have had something to eat.”

“I don’t want to eat! I need to shower. Right now Mom, I need to shower.” I gripped the sides of my head. My yelling at my mother didn’t help with my headache.

“Can you stand?”

“I think so. Just help me up and then I’ll be fine by myself.”

“Nicolette, I can’t leave you here on your own. You just got weak with me holding you, what if you feel dizzy again and fall?”

“I’ll take my chances. Please leave me be. I want to be alone.”

“Nicolette, you can be so obstinate at times. Why won’t you let me help you?”

If my head didn’t hurt so much, I would be screaming at the top of my lungs right now to be left alone. I feel sick for pushing her away, but I don’t want her to see me right now. This is too overwhelming for me to handle. She was being my mom, this is what they do, but I can’t let her. With her arms still around me, she gently lifts me up and guides me over to the shower.

“If you begin to feel dizzy or anything, pull this cord and a nurse will be in to help you. Do you understand, Nicolette?”

“Yes.”, I said weakly.

I removed my hospital gown and stand naked in front of the mirror. I take sight of my injuries that now marred my pale skin. I had bruises on my arms, down my legs, on the insides of my thighs, and some on my back and shoulders. Seeing the evidence of my attack, now I know why I hurt so much. My cuticles were bloodied; some of my nails looked torn, as if they were bitten off. I couldn’t pry my eyes off the mirror; I just stared at my reflection. How could this have happened to me? My body surrendered into an uncontrollable crying fit, and I climbed inside the shower. Taking the soap, I scrubbed my skin until it bled. I felt so dirty, and I needed to wash Michael off of me. I didn’t want any traces of him left on my body. I had no strength left, and I slid down the tiled wall holding my knees to my chest feeling drained and weak.

As I sat under the falling water now turning from hot to cold. I heard a voice outside the door. “Nicolette.” I heard my name. It was Simon calling out to me. I had no voice to respond to him. I watched the door as it slowly opened. I saw Simon come in. He reached in and turned the water off. My eyes found his, as he slowly knelt down in front of me. Wrapping me up with my robe, he picked me up off the shower floor and carried me to my bed. I wrapped my arms around his neck and cried into his chest. I wasn’t afraid, not of Simon.

Simon carefully removed my robe, he had covered me with while never taking his eyes off of mine. He lifted my bruised arms up to dress me in my nightgown. Simon gently began brushing my hair, very aware of the bump on the back of my head. He then dried my hair with the dryer, and pulled it back into a loose braid.

Simon was so gentle, he was treating me as if I was made out of glass and would shatter at any moment. Did he know that’s exactly how I felt? Simon was so careful. I could hardly feel him lifting me, and placing me under the covers. I was exhausted. Simon didn’t look any better. He looks like he hasn’t slept in days. I wanted to say something to him, but I could feel my eyes slowly closing. He sat beside my bed and held my hand. “I love you Nicolette, with all of my heart.” I heard Simon say, as I drifted off into sleep.

My parents were introduced to Detective Jim Westphall and his partner Amy Lewis. They were waiting to question me, but I wasn’t ready to talk to them. I couldn’t look at my mom’s pained face anymore, or my dad’s. Simon was devastated, but remained calm around me even though I knew he probably wanted to kill Michael.

“Is she awake Mrs. Vanelle?” asked Detective Lewis.

“She’s still asleep. I don’t want to wake her if we don’t have to.”

“I understand, but the sooner we question her, the sooner we can question Mr. St. Clair as well. He’s under guard in another area on the floor. He won’t get near your daughter.”