A Christmas Family Wish (6 page)

"Look." Ian halted and pointed at the far hedge.
"See the badger?" He dumped the things he was carrying on the ground,
beckoned Toby, and lifted him onto his hip. "Look beside the hedge beneath
the big tree."

Rachel stared at the black and white creature trotting along
the edge of the field. "Wow, we've never seen a badger before, have we,
sweetheart?"

Toby's curious gaze fixed on the animal, his small arm
around Ian's neck. What a different life they would lead if Toby's wish came
true and Ian were his dad. A sigh whispered out between Rachel's lips. No
matter what she or Toby wished for, the fact remained that Greg would always be
Toby's father. And the way Greg operated, he would likely take pleasure from
screwing with their lives forever.

For a long time she had wanted Greg to be a proper father to
Toby; now she just wanted him to disappear. Greg was not a good role model for
her son to follow. Toby was better off without a father.

They traipsed across the field to a triangle of woodland at
the corner where three fields met. The bare branches of leafless deciduous
trees mixed with the bushy green pines.

Ian lifted Toby over the fence and set him on his feet.
"You can choose the Christmas tree. Which do you like?"

Toby dashed from tree to tree counting them, Max on his
heels barking. "This one, this one," he chanted, jumping on the spot.
"It's number twelve, my birthday."

"Okay, pal, this one it is." Ian trimmed off some
low branches so he could access the trunk, then bent and started sawing.

Rachel held Toby's hand so he kept clear, and stepped back.
She released a gusty sigh of longing at the way Ian's worn jeans molded to his
backside and the bulging muscles of his thighs as he leaned over. A rush of
warmth filled her as she imagined being snuggled up in a warm, dark place with
him.

Ian glanced over his shoulder and caught her looking. She
grinned, making no attempt to hide her thoughts. She might as well test the
waters. If he wanted to ignore her interest, he could.

He straightened, holding her gaze, a flash of heat in his
brown eyes. With a kick of his boot, he snapped the rest of the trunk and the tree
went down.

Toby rushed to the tree and examined it with Max.

Rachel crossed her arms. "Very macho, Mr. Harper. If
you're trying to impress me, it's working."

"I aim to please, Miss Carne. Maybe we should gather
some holly while we're here. There's a lovely bush on the other side of the
copse that always carries lots of berries."

"Sounds like a good idea." Rachel placed a hand on
top of Toby's fleecy hat. "You stay here with Max and watch your tree for
a few minutes. Ian and I are going to that green bush over there with the red
berries on it. We won't be long."

Toby nodded and crouched, looping his arms around Max's
neck, then resting his head on the dog's shoulder.

Rachel followed Ian as he zigzagged between the trees to the
far fence and the promised holly. He pulled some shears from his pocket,
snipped off the branches she pointed at, and tied the stems with rope so she
could carry them without pricking herself.

"There's one other thing here that's nice to have at
Christmas."

Rachel glanced around curiously, not sure what Ian meant.

He pointed up above their heads. A spiky ball of greenery
hung on the bare branches of a silver birch.

Rachel narrowed her eyes, trying to see what it was.

"Mistletoe," Ian said. He grinned as her startled
glance met his.

Her heart jumped and raced, her body tingly at the thought
of kissing Ian. But the ball of mistletoe was so high and the tree too flimsy
for a man built like Ian to climb. "How will you reach to cut some
down?"

"I can't."

"Oh." She couldn't hide the note of disappointment
in her voice.

He pulled off his glove and held out a hand to her. She
slipped her fingers into the warmth of his palm as his hand closed around hers.
He tugged gently, bringing her towards him—beneath the mistletoe.

"I prefer to do things
au naturel
," Ian
said softly.

His fingers gripped her waist and drew her into his arms.
Ian was so large and solid; she felt safe and protected in his embrace. He
smoothed a few strands of hair back from her face as he looked down at her.
"You're beautiful, Rach. I've wanted to do this ever since I rescued you
from your house."

He leaned down. Rachel rose on her toes to meet him, his
warm lips brushing hers then pressing harder, deepening the kiss.

The years fell away and Rachel melted into his arms, sparks
of sensation bursting inside her.

She had waited eight years for him to kiss her back. It was
so worth the wait.

Chapter Six

Ian stroked the hair off Rachel's face with a fingertip,
trying not to wake her but wanting to touch her. She nestled beneath his arm on
the squashy old sofa in his sitting room, her long dark hair cascading over his
chest, her slender hand rested tantalizing on his thigh.

The last few days with Rachel and Toby had been fantastic.
He'd taken things slowly with Rachel, kept a tight rein on his desire and
allowed himself only hugs and kisses, not wanting to rush her. She responded to
him so sweetly, so honestly. He had fallen in love with this beautiful woman
and Toby was a great kid. If Ian didn't screw things up, he could have
something special here; he could finally have the family he longed for.

If Ella were allowed to visit for Christmas, life would be
almost perfect. But there was virtually no chance he'd see his daughter over
the holidays. He'd been trying to arrange to bring her here to stay for months.
Jane wouldn't agree because her damned husband told her not to.

With his lips pressed to Rachel's temple, he breathed in the
floral fragrance of her hair, and allowed her sweet presence to ease the
tension that filled him whenever he thought of the situation with his daughter.
He needed to tell her about Ella and Jane, although he didn't want to burden
her with his troubles when she had enough of her own to worry about.

The movie he and Rachel had watched on TV was finished, and
the fire had died down to glowing embers. Tomorrow was Christmas Eve. They
planned a day together, a family fun day at the zoo.

Rachel moaned in her sleep, snuggling closer to him, her
hand trailing up his body to curl against his chest. He held his breath,
fighting the shot of fire that streaked along his nerves in response to her
touch. If she only knew what she did to him.

Was there any chance she might share his bed tonight? Was it
too soon? He nuzzled her hair and caressed the soft skin of her wrist.
"Hey, sleeping beauty, time to wake up so you can go to bed."

Her eyelashes flickered and she blinked at him, sleepily
dazed. She glanced at the television. "When did the movie finish?"

"Ages ago."

"Oh. I always fall asleep in front of the TV and miss
things I want to watch."

"I've noticed." Ian grinned. She had fallen asleep
snuggled beneath his arm on the sofa every night that week. He always missed
the movie as well, but for a completely different reason. With her soft curves
pressed against him, he couldn't concentrate on anything else.

Her voice was sleepy and sexy. If he didn't make love to her
soon he would go crazy. "Rachel, love, I was thinking—"

The insistent trill of the house phone sliced through the
slumberous mood. Ian gritted his teeth. What perfect timing. He was tempted to
ignore it, but late-night calls usually came from Jane. Ian would never forgive
himself it there were something wrong with Ella and he didn't pick up.

"I'd better get that." He reluctantly pulled his
arm away from its comfortable spot around Rachel's body and stood.

She sighed and followed him up. "I need to go to bed so
I'm fresh for our day out tomorrow."

"I'll be right behind you after I've let Max out."
Ian dashed through to the kitchen, tripping over the dog who ambled in front of
him.

He grabbed the phone and pressed it to his ear. "Yes,
can I help you?"

"Ian." Jane's tearful voice squeaked on the line
and his gut clenched with annoyance and anxiety.

"Has something happened to Ella?"

"No."

"Why are you calling, then?" He knew he sounded
unsympathetic, but she'd chosen to leave him for Eric. Now she had to deal with
the consequences. She had caused him so much heartache over the last couple of
years. She had taken his baby girl away and tried to keep him from seeing her,
but she was quick enough to call when she wanted something.

"Can I come and stay with you?" Jane said.

"What?" Ian's heart jolted in his chest. He wanted
nothing more than to have Ella come and stay, but he didn't want Jane anywhere
near here. She would do her best to destroy his fledgling relationship with
Rachel. He swallowed hard and pressed a hand to his forehead. "Are you
leaving Eric?"

She sobbed on the phone. Familiar frustration tightened
Ian's muscles. She turned every tiny thing into a massive drama, so he had no
idea if it were serious or not.

"Tell me what's wrong."

"Ella keeps coming into our bed at night and Eric gets
mad."

"What do you mean by mad? He doesn't hurt her, does
he?"

Silence.

Ian hauled in a breath, struggling to hang on to his temper.
"Jane, answer the damn question."

All he could hear was her muffled sobs.

"I'm coming down to see her tomorrow. I want to make
sure she's okay. You'd better be there or I'll camp out on your front step
until you get home. Do you understand? If Eric doesn't like it, he can get
stuffed."

The dial tone filled his ear. He cursed loudly and slammed
the phone down on the counter. Every few months, Jane did something like this
to him. The first time he'd raced down to Cornwall, a seven-hour drive, only to
find there was nothing wrong at all. To make matters worse, Eric had threatened
to call the police if Ian didn't get out of his house.

He hated the fact that man was playing father to Ella, a man
who Ian was pretty certain didn't care about her at all. In fact, he didn't
seem to care much about Jane either. More than anything in the world, Ian
wanted his daughter safe. If that meant putting up with Jane as well, he'd have
to do it.

***

Rachel woke with a start, not sure what had disturbed her.
The hall light shone through the open door, illuminating the empty sheets on
Toby's side of the bed. She boosted herself on an elbow and glanced around.
Toby made a habit of disappearing from bed first thing in the morning to find
Ian.

Rachel picked up her phone to check the time—a little before
three. Surely Toby wouldn't go to Ian in the middle of the night?

An ethereal glow shone through the curtains. She slid out of
bed and peeked between them. A huge full moon hung above the rolling countryside,
gleaming off the shiny white snow covering the fields, hedges, and trees.

A scene flickered through her imagination—her, Toby, and Ian
playing together in the snow, laughing as they tossed snowballs and built their
snowman. Toby had never had a proper family Christmas with a father figure
around. This would be a new experience for him, a wonderful one that Rachel
hoped would be the first of many Christmases with Ian in their lives. Ian was
so different from Greg. He would not make promises he didn't keep and let Toby
down.

She wrapped her arms around her body against the chill and
padded barefoot into the hall, half expecting to find Toby had gone to the
toilet. The bathroom door stood ajar, the room in darkness. Her gaze moved the
other way, towards Ian's room.

His door stood wide like hers, an open invitation, or she
wished it were. They had spent the past five evenings, after Toby went to bed,
snuggled on the sofa, kissing. She had thought Ian might invite her into his
bed tonight. He'd seemed to be working up to asking, then the damn phone rang
and ruined things. She'd lain awake listening for him to come up, hoping for a
soft knock on her door. She'd been disappointed.

Rachel padded along the hall and peeped into Ian's room.
Light spilled across the bed, showing Toby snuggled with his teddy, fast asleep
beside Ian. A cocktail of conflicting emotions swirled inside Rachel. Her baby
had left her to come to a man he'd known for only a few weeks. On the other
hand, she was overjoyed that Toby felt comfortable enough with Ian to seek him
out.

She prayed things worked between her and Ian, not only for
her sake, but for Toby's as well. Her little boy already seemed to love Ian and
he would be hurt if they broke up.

Ian appeared to be asleep but surprised her when he lifted
his head. "Toby came in about ten minutes ago," he whispered. "I
would have come to tell you, but I thought you'd be asleep."

"Some sixth sense woke me. I knew he'd gone."

"Mother's intuition," Ian said with a smile.

"You don't mind him in bed with you?"

"No. He's welcome." Ian stroked an affectionate
hand over Toby's head. An aura of safety surrounded Ian like a big fluffy
security blanket. Toby must be drawn to that, as Rachel was. Rachel had tried
to shelter Toby from the emotional wreckage Greg made of her life, but her poor
boy must sense things weren't right. It was only natural he would cling to a
good, steady father figure when he found one.

A pang of loneliness stole through Rachel. For a moment she
was jealous of her own son—jealous of how easy it was for him to come in here
and climb in Ian's bed. She longed to reach a place in her relationship with
Ian where she could seek comfort from him without all the other complications
between a man and a woman getting in the way. Of course she wanted an intimate
relationship with him, very much. But her need for someone to love her and
simply be there for her was just as strong.

Rachel knew she should return to her room, but the thought
of climbing back in her cold bed alone did not appeal at all.

"It's snowing," she said, grasping for any reason
to stay with Ian and Toby.

"It had started when I let Max out before I came to bed."

"Oh." Rachel shivered and rubbed her bare arms
against the chill.

"Come and get in with us." Ian stretched across
Toby and lifted the covers.

After a moment's hesitation, she hurried the few steps to
the bed and climbed in, tugging the thick comforter up and snuggling against
her little boy.

Ian's clean herbal fragrance clung to the pillow and covers,
wrapping her in his aura, even though she wasn't touching him. At least she was
near him.

Rachel had dreamed of sharing Ian's bed, dreamed of being in
his arms. Those dreams had not included a four-year-old chaperone, but right
now all she wanted was to be with them both.

"Did you notice the time?" he whispered.

"Nearly three."

Silence filled the room for a few moments, the only sound
the subtle creak of the old house.

"This isn't how I imagined it would be when you came to
my bed," Ian said softly.

"No."

"I promise we'll be together soon, Rachel." Ian's
breath hissed out in a sigh. "First, I have to straighten out my
life."

A frisson of disquiet passed through her. "What's
wrong?"

For long moments he didn't answer; she started to think he
wasn't going to. Then he turned on his side to face her and reached over Toby
to clasp her hand. "There's something I need to discuss with you. I didn't
want the issues from my past to get in the way of our relationship, but I think
it's inevitable."

Rachel's disquiet deepened. "Go on."

"The phone call was from my ex, Jane. She tends to do
that, call late or early or anytime that's inconvenient, usually after she's
had a fight with her husband."

Rachel's growing sense of fear that her relationship with Ian
would be derailed by his ex receded at the mention of another man.

"Can't you tell her to talk to her husband?" And
leave Ian alone. From the tone of his voice, he saw this woman as an annoyance.

"It's more complicated than that. I have a daughter
with her. Ella's about the same age as Toby."

Rachel's heart pulsed in painful beats as though it were being
squeezed by a giant fist. She hadn't suspected for a moment that Ian had a
child. Why hadn't he mentioned her before? There were no photos of Ella in the
house. The moment she thought that, she noticed a photo in a frame on his
bedside table.

During the last eight years he'd had relationships with
other women and there were always consequences. How stupid of her not to consider
that.

"Where does she live?"

"Jane's new husband took them down to Cornwall,
supposedly for a new job. Although I'm pretty sure he just wanted to move far
enough away that it was difficult for me to see Ella."

"Why?"

Ian rubbed a hand over his face. "He wants me out of
Jane's life."

Rachel wasn't comfortable with the idea of Ian seeing his ex
regularly either, but she would never keep him from seeing his daughter.
"Are you going to see Ella over the Christmas holidays?"

"I tried to arrange something, but it's almost
impossible to get any type of commitment out of Jane. The last time I was
supposed to see Ella, I arrived and they were out. I hung around all day. In
the end, I had to drive home without seeing her. It's a hell of a long way to go
for nothing."

"Oh, Ian, I'm sorry." Rachel so desperately wanted
Toby to have a father that she couldn't understand a woman who would behave
like Jane.

"I've been lying awake, turning things over in my
head," Ian said. "I'm worried about Ella. I need to put my mind at
rest that she's okay, so I'm going to drive down to Cornwall tomorrow. I'm
sorry to miss our day out tomorrow, but we'll have Christmas Day
together."

Rachel had sensed this coming. She couldn't blame Ian for
wanting to see Ella, but her heart pinched with disappointment. She'd built up
Christmas in her mind to be this amazing family event when she and Toby would
bond with Ian, the visit to the zoo, and then Christmas Day itself.

Life never lived up to her dreams.