A Christmas to Believe In (21 page)

In a slow, intoxicating slide, he swept a thick finger

through her ready flesh. On a gasp, she jerked into his hand,

and Clint covered her with his palm. The heel of his hand

pressed against her sensitive center, an unyielding pressure

so pleasant she squirmed. She hooked her heel around the

back of his knee and urged his body into hers.

Clint obliged. He rolled, and his weight settled over her.

Comfortable. Just right. He withdrew his hand, returning it to

her breast as he nudged her thighs apart and lowered himself

completely. The hard length of his swollen cock aligned with

her aroused flesh. As his kiss worked sensation after

sensation through her, his hips pressed hard. Forbidden

fulfillment by what remained of their clothing, Jesse

swallowed down a moan. Wild need ripped through her, and

the idea of Clint taking his time became a torment she

175

A Christmas to Believe In

by Claire Ashgrove

couldn't bear. She tore her lips free from his and met his

questioning gaze.

"Take them off. Take everything off. Let me feel you,

Clint." She shifted beneath him, stroking his hardened shaft.

His eyes glittered. He held her gaze for a long moment,

then nodded. For one agonizing heartbeat, all that blissful

warmth left her body. In the next, he was naked, as was she.

His body glided over hers as he lowered himself into her

waiting arms. She parted her thighs, accommodating the

width of his hips, and Clint claimed her in a soul-deep kiss.

Every inch of Clint's body tensed with anticipatory need.

The heat of Jesse's femininity scalded into him, demanding he

take her in one, swift, mindless thrust. Yet, he forbade

himself the wild abandon. Forced his body to wait while he

indulged in the sweetness of her mouth.

Any idea he'd had about drawing out tonight and taking his

time with her had vanished with her plea to remove the

remaining barriers of their clothing. He could have no more

denied that plaintive request, than he could have walked

away when she'd asked him to make love to her. The raw

desire he understood. What mystified him was all the other

feelings Jesse stirred.

So many things he didn't want to identify woke up to the

scrape of her nails, the subtle thrust of her hips, the ragged

fall of her breath. Frightening things that left him feeling

exposed far more than any removal of clothing. He didn't just

want her... He needed her.

176

A Christmas to Believe In

by Claire Ashgrove

And through a lifetime of empty involvements, he'd never

needed a woman before. Not like this. Not when he felt like if

this night came to an end, he'd lose everything that mattered.

He kissed her until the trembling in his gut subsided to an

occasional tremor. Until the shaking in his hands reduced to a

manageable twitch. Then, he pulled in a deep breath, lifted

himself on his hands, and aligned his straining cock with her

swollen flesh.

Closing his eyes, he entered her slowly. His lungs

contracted with the overwhelming sensation of her inner

muscles gripping him tight. Drawing him in so deep his head

spun. For a horrifying moment, he feared he'd come right

there. But when he'd pushed in as far as he could, and she

encircled him completely, Jesse lay still, allowing him to suck

in short gasps of air through his nose. He held himself up,

unmoving, not trusting what the full out contact of her silken

skin would reduce him to.

In all other ways, she knew him as intimately as he knew

himself. That she should understand he needed a moment

shouldn't surprise him. Yet, he could not help but wonder at

how she could so readily anticipate his needs. Do just the

right thing to ground him against the torrent of ecstasy that

pounded at his senses.

Testing his control, he inched out of her, then thrust in

deep. His body recoiled, a hair trigger on the brink of release,

but his lungs expanded, allowing him the ability to breathe.

Opening his eyes, he looked into hers. The effect was

staggering. Beyond the bright gleam of arousal, affection

glinted back at him. Unshielded emotion that both humbled

177

A Christmas to Believe In

by Claire Ashgrove

and elated him. Her lashes fluttered as she arched into him,

following the retreat of his hips, but when he pressed in,

gliding through her slick sheath, she held his gaze. Her eyes

told him things her voice would not, whispered confessions

that would forever score this night into his memory.

Unable to confront the staggering emotion that tightened

his chest at the same time his body struggled against his

faltering will, he sank into her and claimed her with a rough

kiss. The undulation of her body stripped him of his senses.

He gave up attempting even minimalistic thought,

surrendered to the sublime satisfaction of being one with

Jesse.

They moved as one, trapped together by primal instinct.

The slip and slide of her warm skin beneath his sent wave

after wave of sensation pulsing through his veins. Hungry,

desperate for everything Jesse could give, he dug his hands

into her hair, and choked back a groan. But the pleasured

mewl that tumbled from the back of her throat and vibrated

against his mouth set his husky sound of satisfaction free.

She twisted her head to the side, her breath hard and

short. Eyes closed, her nails bit into the small of his back. On

a gasp, Jesse lifted off the carpet into his arms. He gathered

her close, guiding her through a climax that stole in to touch

a portion of his soul. Her inner flesh gripped hard, pulsed

around him, urging him to follow.

He surrendered. Driving in deep, he yielded to ecstasy. It

burst through him like a spark set to paper, every bit as hot

and all-consuming. Equally destructive. For in that moment of

cataclysmic helplessness, he realized a lifetime of making love

178

A Christmas to Believe In

by Claire Ashgrove

to Jesse would never be enough. His body shook as he poured

himself into her. He dropped his head to her shoulder, grazed

his teeth across her skin. "Jesse," he rasped.

Her arms came around his waist, holding him tight.

Distantly, he heard the melodic sound of her voice,

recognized the murmurs of his name. The tide of sensation

ebbed, and Clint collapsed into her spent. Robbed of every

natural defense, he lay in her arms more exposed than his

nakedness belied. Her forced breath matched his. Her

fingertips danced across his back.

He found the internal strength to lift himself on one elbow

and pushed her long hair away from her face. In the firelight,

a flush colored her delicate features. Her lips were swollen

from his roughened assault. She gave him a sated smile, and

his heart tripped. He pulled in a deep, stabilizing breath.

"So beautiful," he murmured as he brushed a kiss across

her mouth.

"I could do that all night long," she confessed on a light

chuckle.

He paused against her lips to sample the sweet flavor that

was all Jesse. "You're welcome to stay. Though I don't think

we should camp out in front of the fire."

She returned his kiss, but her earlier willingness shifted.

Abrupt, brusque, she barely touched her lips to his. "No. I

need to go." A push on his shoulders told him she meant now.

Reluctantly, he pulled himself out of her and sat up.

Gathering her clothes, he passed them to her, hesitating

when her hands brushed his. "Jesse?"

179

A Christmas to Believe In

by Claire Ashgrove

"Hm?" She reclaimed her bra. Fastening it, she kept her

gaze on her lap.

Concerned, Clint reached out to cup her face. "What's

wrong?"

"Nothing." Her bright smile came too fast, too wide. A

trademark Jesseism when she tried to hide something.

Apprehension filtered uncomfortably into his spine. He

knew her well enough to realize no amount of coaxing would

convince her to share whatever had just flipped through her

mind. At the same time, instinct warned he'd said something

wrong. Done something that made her uncomfortable. And a

lifetime of friendship, coupled with the newfound stirrings of

deeper affection, insisted he couldn't let her walk out of the

house pretending not to care.

"Tell me tomorrow?"

Again the brief smile as she shrugged into her blouse.

"Okay."

The hurried motion of her hands set off alarms in his head.

But he resisted the urge to press her to explain. Sometimes

Jesse needed time to find her words. When rushed, her

temper would take over. The last thing he wanted to do

tonight was argue. Not when everything inside him felt warm

and comfortable...and entirely too content.

She jumped to her feet and wriggled into her jeans. Bent

over, she hopped alternately on one foot to pull on her socks,

then set her hand on his shoulder and gave him a quick,

chaste kiss. "Sweet dreams," she whispered.

He barely had time to stand and dress before the front

door quietly shut.

180

A Christmas to Believe In

by Claire Ashgrove

[Back to Table of Contents]

181

A Christmas to Believe In

by Claire Ashgrove

Jesse parked the car in her drive and shut the engine off.

As the tick of cooling metal permeated the silence, she stared

up at the waning moon. Her stomach clamped into a ball of

hard steel, and she struggled for a normal breath.

Leaving Clint as if nothing in the world was wrong had

been an exercise in true acting. In reality, everything

compounded into one terrifying confrontation with reality.

She'd fallen for him. Over the top, head over heels, one

hundred percent fallen for Clint King. Clint, who would leave

in a week, two at the most. Clint, whom Ethan couldn't stand.

She leaned her forehead against the steering wheel and let

out a groan. This wasn't in the rules. Hadn't been in her plans

at all. But as he seated himself deep inside her, the

realization had slammed into her with a cyclone's force. She

couldn't move, the feeling so engulfed her. What compounded

it, however, was the way he tensed, the silent message his

body conveyed that he shared the same intoxicating inability

to control what was happening to them.

She could feel the tremble roll through his body even now,

as she sat alone. Hear the jagged catch to his breathing.

When he'd invited her to stay, every fragment of her soul

screamed yes. But if she'd spent the night in his bed, not only

would she fuel Ethan's insecurities, she'd lose a portion of

herself she instinctively knew she'd never reclaim.

Loving Clint was bad enough. Allowing him to access the

innermost part of her heart, the part where she nursed

182

A Christmas to Believe In

by Claire Ashgrove

insecurities and longed for family, a partner, a spouse, would

be disastrous. She'd need him. And she'd gone her entire

adult life without needing a single individual.

Drawing in an unsteady breath, she lifted her head and

blinked back the sudden wash of tears. Maybe he'd already

touched that forbidden territory. As it was, leaving him

tonight made her ache. Had she already come to need him in

her life?

She shook her head. No. He might have made contact with

that secret place of hopes and dreams, but he hadn't

trespassed that far. She could keep him at bay, well behind

her fortified line of defense. What she couldn't do, however,

was continue to pretend Clint meant nothing. She couldn't

indulge in this game of charades with Ethan, and ignore the

way he refused to grant Clint even a modicum of decency cut

her so deep she bled.

Tonight they'd talk. She'd explain to Ethan that he didn't

have anything to worry about. She wouldn't leave him for

another man as his birth mother had, but that she intended

to enjoy herself while Clint was in town. Somehow, she'd

make Ethan believe.

Gritting her teeth against the unpleasant conversation she

couldn't avoid, she opened her car door to the frigid winter

air. She huddled into her coat and ran for the back door.

When she bolted inside, the warmth of her home soaked into

her bones. Her gaze flicked to the lighted tree. Ethan had

been so at ease, so happy, when they'd decorated it tonight.

Though they'd done the same routine two years in a row, this

year brought a whole new meaning to the occasion. He knew

183

A Christmas to Believe In

by Claire Ashgrove

he had a family. A real one. Not just a temporary place to

occupy space before his fears shoved him on to the next

transitional family.

She squeezed her eyes shut as she remembered the other

thing she'd neglected to take care of today—telling him about