A Country Affair (17 page)

“She’s actually lost the baby now, has she?”

“Oh yes.”

There was silence for a while and then Scott said, “I told her I wouldn’t have married her.”

He didn’t like the sarcastic undertones of Kate’s reply. “Oh, great. That was a very good idea. Very comforting and so supportive.”

“I’m ashamed, really, but I don’t feel anything for her. Marriage would have been disastrous.”

“Ah! Right.”

“She was as much to blame. How could she expect a red-blooded male not to respond to her overtures? If anyone was seduced, it was me. You modern girls don’t give a chap a chance to say no.”

“Oh! You poor thing.”

“Kate!”

“Time you grew up.”

“Please don’t you fall out with me too; it’s more than I can take this week.”

He looked so genuinely upset that Kate decided to change tack. “You’re not thinking of going in to work on Monday, are you?”

Scott nodded.

“It’s far too early. Be different if you had an office job. Sunny Boy’s due for another visit on Monday.”

“Well, Zoe could do that. Or Rhodri or Valentine. They could pretend he was a dog. Let them get kicked or trampled.”

“You are down, aren’t you?”

“Give us a cuddle; that’ll do the trick.”

Kate moved to the sofa and sat close to him. “Is it Duncan?”

Scott nodded.

“Well?”

“I’m not telling you.” He took hold of her hand. “It must be the pain. I’m not used to it.”

“It
is
Duncan, isn’t it? He can be quite ruthless, I understand.”

“It’s his coldness I find difficult to take. It makes what he says that much more hurtful.”

Kate sat back to appraise Scott. “I’ve never seen you so introspective.”

“Stop using long words; it’s too much for a simple Aussie like me.” He grinned at her, pulled her close to him and kissed her. Several times. “I needed that.”

“So did I.” She pulled herself away from him and said quietly, “I don’t know why you always put on this act of being tough.”

“Sorry. It’s how I am. Kiss me again. Please.”

Which she did, gently and appreciatively, savoring the sensation, finding it new and enthralling.

“I bet that nutter Adam has never woken anything in you, has he?”

She drew away from him again. “Why spoil it with reminding me of him?”

“Sorry. I can’t believe he could go out with you for two years and never manage to excite you.”

“That, Scott, was how I wanted it. In any case, I’m not into relationships here, there and everywhere. It’s not my scene.”

“Not even with me?”

“Not even with you.” She stood up. “I know the other girls think I’m a prude, but I don’t care. It’s a decision I’ve made and I’m sticking with it. I’m not going to finish up like Bunty, thanks.”

“I see. I don’t want that either, not with you, you’re different. I was just feeling in need . . .”

“Of a boost.”

Scott smiled up at her. “I admire you for standing by your principles.”

“Good. We understand each other, then.”

“How are you going to get home?”

“Mia’s gone to visit a friend and she’s coming back for me in about an hour.”

“Stay here, then.” He patted the cushion beside him. “Sit here and we’ll watch TV and I promise to behave myself. Boring though it might be.”

She laughed. “I do like you very much indeed, you know that, don’t you? I think I must have fallen under your spell.”

“Most women do.”

“Honestly! Your ego!”

Her comment reminded him of Duncan and he sobered. “I like you too, perhaps too much for my own good, but there you are.” He switched on the TV set and they sat holding hands and occasionally smiling at each other, watching an old American cowboy film until the doorbell rang and it was Mia.

She came up to sit for a few minutes. “I’m early. My friend was just going out for the evening. My fault, I should have given her a ring first. Nice flat, Scott. I like it. Feeling better? I didn’t think you’d be home so soon, perhaps Monday at the earliest.”

Scott caught Kate’s eye and then answered with a noncommittal “Thought they’d like the weekend to themselves.”

They chatted idly for a few more minutes and then Mia got up to go. “Take care of yourself, young man, and if you’re not right on Monday, take a few more days off. Go back too soon and you’ll only make things worse. Bye-bye.”

“Bye-bye, Mia.”

He kissed Kate gently on her lips and ran a caressing finger along her cheekbone. “Good night, thanks for coming.”

“Good night. Take care.”

Mia drove Kate home carefully, only too well aware that Adam was following them. She didn’t tell Kate that he’d been sitting outside Scott’s flat all the time Kate had been visiting and that all she, Mia, had done was position her car where she could watch Adam without him knowing. When she saw him for the second time decide to open his car door as though getting out, she’d started up her engine and driven back into the road as if returning from somewhere. Adam had swiftly shut his door when he saw her and slumped down in the driving seat to avoid being noticed. But he couldn’t deceive her, even though he’d changed his car for the second time.

Chapter
11

N
o one quite knew how to treat Bunty when she returned to work. Did they sympathize or did they behave as though the miscarriage had solved a lot of problems for her? The one with the most need to clear the air was Scott, and he found her at lunchtime eating her sandwiches sitting outside the back door on an old bench, which had been put there temporarily when they’d first moved in and had never been moved.

“Can I sit down?”

She didn’t look at him. “It’s a free country.”

“Feeling better?”

“Ditto?”

“Yes, thanks, and you?”

“Well, Scott, I think they say in these circumstances ‘as well as can be expected.’” Bunty took another bite of her salad sandwich and continued looking up at Beulah Bank Top.

Scott stared at it too. “I’m sorry it happened.”

“I’m not. Didn’t fancy bringing a child up on my own. It’s no picnic.”

“I don’t expect so.”

“Wouldn’t have had an abortion, but fortunately for me it made its own mind up.”

“I see.”

Bunty chanced a glance at his face. “You were right. It wouldn’t have worked anyway.”

“Marriage, you mean?”

“That’s right.”

So the baby must have been his. Scott felt an upsurge of emotion, a sudden fierce joyousness at this proof that he could fulfill his male role to its full potential. His elation showed on his face and he almost leaped to his feet to shout “Eureka!”

Bunty, with a quick glance, caught sight of his look of delight. Carefully folding up the plastic bag that had held her sandwiches and gazing up at the hills again, she said, “It wouldn’t have been the right basis for marriage to have saddled you with someone else’s baby, now would it?” She stood up and, without giving him a chance to answer, walked to the back door, opened it and disappeared inside.

Scott’s ego plummeted to new depths. Women! How could any man ever begin to understand the workings of their minds? Was she being a tease to punish him? Was she that liberal with her favors? Did she see his delight and decide to get her revenge on him? Or was she so hurt at his reaction to her pregnancy that she wouldn’t allow him the pleasure of believing he’d fathered a child?
Was
he the father? Maybe he would never know. The main thing was he had no responsibility now toward her or to a child, so he was still free as air. Well, not quite, there was Kate, who wouldn’t stay out of his mind.

He sat there for a while, thinking about her, until he grew so cold he had to go inside. As he turned to make his way in, he caught sight of a car coming to a halt at the top end of the tarmac, a curious bilious yellow, it was, with a soft beige top. Some people’s taste! He strode in without looking back. He’d see if Kate was free to make him some coffee and then get on with his calls. As he passed the operating theater door, Bunty rushed out of it in tears and fled into the staff toilets. Mungo, in his full operating kit, came out after her. “Seen Bunty?”

Scott pointed to the toilet door. Mungo nodded and shouted, “Joy! Where are you?”

Scott left him to it and went to find Kate, but she’d gone off at one, so he made his own coffee and went his solitary way to his afternoon calls. If he hadn’t been so cold and had stayed out on the bench awhile longer, he would have seen Adam get out of the bilious yellow car, ready for a walk on the hills.

J
OY
had had a challenging afternoon. Bunty had gone home after her tears, leaving Mungo with no one to assist him in the theater, so Joy had had to leave Lynne by herself on reception for the afternoon and get gowned up to work with Mungo. It had been some time since she’d had to fill in on the operating side and she was under stress the whole time, worrying about letting Mungo down, or worse, causing the animal, whose quality of life Mungo was hoping to improve, to die.

It was a very delicate operation on a cat whose leg had been shattered in a road accident, and the constant reference to X-rays, handing of implements and the final framework of pins and screws to keep it all in place while the bones had a chance to heal ended with Joy feeling completely done in when Mungo finally declared he was satisfied. At the same time, though, it brought back splendid memories of how they had worked together in the early days; and the old welcome feeling of working as a team and the closeness of their relationship of those days filled her with pleasure, and for the moment both Duncan and Miriam were forgotten.

“Done! Thanks, Joy. Thanks for stepping in. Quite like old times, eh?” He patted the cat’s head as Joy took it off the anesthetic, saying, “There we are, Muffin, it’s all up to you now. I can’t do any more. Tea in your office for old times’ sake? Yes?”

“Yes. That was brilliant. You don’t lose your touch, do you?”

“Neither do you.”

“Was I nervous! But it all came flooding back.”

“What about Bunty, then?”

“Early days.”

“I’d be sorry to lose her. She’s the best nurse we’ve got. The two Sarahs are excellent, but Bunty has the edge. She’s very intuitive.”

“I know. I’d hate to lose her too. The girl’s all mixed up and no wonder.

“Is it Scott?”

Joy shook her head. “I honestly don’t know; she hasn’t said. He says she says it isn’t him, but . . .” Joy shrugged her shoulders. “Give her time. I’ll put Muffin in intensive care. Tea in my office in five minutes?”

Mungo nodded.

When they’d settled down to drink their tea, Joy said, “If Bunty doesn’t come back, though I’m sure she will, I can help out till we find someone else. Kate is so good. She got reception and accounts under her belt in no time at all. Far too good for the work entailed. Sometimes I wonder why she’s here.”

“So do I. This tea’s welcome. She’s never said anything, has she?”

“No. Not a word and I’m not going to ask. As long as she works well, that’s all that concerns me. Except . . .” She put down her cup. “Except she still has the problem of that idiot Adam stalking her. It’s really preying on her mind. Her parents insist, quite rightly too, that she never go anywhere without being driven by either Scott or them. Not fair her life should be so curtailed by the man.”

“Maybe he’ll cool off in a while.”

“Let’s hope so.”

Mungo stood up, reached across her desk, cupped her chin in his hand and kissed her. Combined with the feelings stirred in her by working with him in the operating theater, the hint of fervor in the pressure of his lips served to awaken the longings she’d had for him for years.

When he straightened up, he looked at her for a moment and then said, “Got to go. Miriam’s got a surprise planned for me. You’ve not lost the old skills, Joy. It’s good to know you could still be my right-hand woman if need be. Thanks again. Keep in touch about Bunty. I’ll look in on Muffin when I get back.” Mungo treated her to one of his beautiful warm smiles, which thrilled all who were privileged to receive one, and her heart jumped into her throat and she couldn’t speak. She wiggled her fingers at him and let him go without a word.

Damn him! Damn him! His kiss had been a reward for helping him, nothing more, nothing less. Would she never learn that it was Miriam he loved, not her?

Having been reminded all over again of the bitter truth, Joy drove home in no mood for one of Duncan’s silences. But he wasn’t there. He’d gone walking and, unusually for him, he’d left a note to say he would be home in time for his evening meal. By his computer was a thick pile of printout sheets, so finally he must have solved his problem. She wished she could solve hers.

Duncan came home tired and hungry, but he’d obviously kept an eye on the clock because he was in through the door half an hour before the meal was ready. “Quick shower and I’ll be down.” He smiled at her and blew her a kiss.

Joy pulled a face. What had she done to deserve that? Maybe he really was trying to make an effort to improve things between them. She went to get a bottle of wine, because she knew she needed to make an effort too, if only to erase the guilt of what Mungo’s kiss had aroused.

Duncan didn’t speak until after he’d finished his first course. He sat back replete. “That is the kind of meal a man needs when he’s been walking in the hills. Was I hungry, was I!”

Joy toasted him with her glass. “I see you’ve solved your problem. Loads of printouts.”

“I have. That was why I needed to walk, clear my head. Which it did. Do you fancy going out? A drink or something?”

Startled by this departure from the norm, Joy hesitated and then suggested: “Cinema?”

“OK, then. I’ll check the paper when we’ve finished.”

“Duncan . . .”

“Mm?”

“Oh, never mind.”

“You’ve started, so you must finish.”

“You seem happier. More relaxed.”

Duncan thought over what she had said. “I’m trying to be more considerate. To you. After my run-in with Miriam, I saw the error of my ways.”

“Ah! You did?”

“Why the hell should you care about me? When ever do I do anything at all to deserve you? Never. So I decided to be more . . . attentive.” He gave her a wry grin. “It’s hard, unaccustomed work for me, but I am giving it a whirl.”

“I’m glad. It’s been an uphill struggle.”

Almost too casually Duncan asked, “How’s Mungo today?”

Joy jumped guiltily. “Mungo? Why do you mention him?”

“I can see that look in your eyes that consigns me to the wilderness. It’s very hard to bear, Joy, and hasn’t helped at all. I’m so jealous of that man.”

Ashamed, Joy said, “However
I
might feel, you can rest assured that nothing, absolutely nothing, will separate Mungo from Miriam, believe me. The battle is with myself and myself alone. Most of the time, ninety-five percent of the time, he’s just someone I work with and then something happens and the balloon goes up. It’s time I packed it in.”

“Your job, you mean?”

“No, not my job, I couldn’t do that; I love it too much. No, letting Mungo stir me up. I’m a sentimental old idiot at bottom and I’ve got to put a stop to it. The trouble has been that you didn’t make any effort to redress the balance, if you see what I mean. Slowly but surely I’ve become your housekeeper and that’s not what I want, but it’s what I’ve got. You gave me nothing here, so I’ve clung to what remained of Mungo, but if I look it squarely in the eye, nothing remains except a good working relationship built up over a lot of years.”

There was a long silence while Duncan made sense of what she’d said. He sipped his wine, finished his pudding, stared out of the window and finally said, “I’ve loved you since the day we met, but my feelings have been strangled by yours for Mungo. I can understand how it came about. He is a most adorable man, but you weren’t even fair to me when we married, were you?”

His question hung heavy in the air like some kind of overpowering incense that even opening a window would not disperse. Joy lifted her head and stared straight into his eyes. “After all these years, what makes you come out with that right now?”

“My own self-searching. I’m guilty too. My cramped emotions haven’t helped. You’re right about my offering you nothing to keep you. As you said, that damned computer is to blame. But you’re not being fair to Miriam either. Does she know how you feel? Have you ever told her?”

Joy was appalled by his question. “Of course not. I wouldn’t dream of breaking her heart by telling her. That’s a dreadful, terrible thought.”

“She’s very perceptive. Maybe she’s realized; picked up on that special smile you have for him?”

Joy flushed with horror at his question. “What special smile?”

“Well, you can’t see your own smile but even a congenital idiot could. I bet the staff at the practice have guessed.”

The possibility that they might have guessed was too dreadful for Joy to contemplate. Did they all know and were amused behind her back? Talking about it? Contemplating her chances?
Oh God! No! Of course not.
He was saying it to upset her. She’d never given away her secret, not by so much as a touch or a look. Of course they didn’t know.

“Go on, be honest, Joy. Haven’t you ever wished he was me when we used to make love?”

There was that cold, analytical tone in his voice, the one which probed without emotion or thought for his victim. But his eyes told a different story: they were pleading for reassurance. If she lied, would he guess? What if she told the truth?

She chose her words slowly and carefully. “Honesty being your watchword, there were times to begin with when, yes, I wished you were Mungo. Just sometimes. Not for a long time, though. But I’m bound to you by something invisible. There’s no escape. I couldn’t be without you and I don’t know why . . . if that’s any help.”

“And me to you. I’m bound by I know not what. Maybe it’s a passionate love we’ve both of us smothered with neglect. Since we are coming out in the open about ourselves, how about telling Miriam? You might be cleansed of him then.”

“I can’t do that. I couldn’t! I couldn’t stay at the practice if I did. For heaven’s sake.”

“In that case, then, maybe the more straightforward thing to do would be to give your notice.”

“Is this an ultimatum of some kind?”

Duncan didn’t answer immediately. When he did, he simply said, “Just testing.” He got up from his chair and went to stand at her side. His mood had changed as quickly, as if he’d flicked a switch. She looked up at him and scrutinized the somber face with its deep-set eyes and sad, gentle mouth. With more desire than she had experienced in an age, she wanted him to kiss her.

“Taken slowly in small doses, one step at a time, there’s hope for us, isn’t there?” For the second time that day her chin was cupped in a man’s hand. Briefly he touched her mouth with his.

“Oh yes!” And suddenly she felt there was. She took his hand from her face, kissed the back of it and pressed it to her cheek. “Let’s sit in front of the fire. Leave the table for now.”

They both moved to sit in the easy chairs before the fire. They were silent for a while, each running over in his and her own mind the conversation they’d just had. Then, out of the blue, he said, “Met a chap today. Strange chap.”

In the silence that followed, Joy said, “That’ll make two.”