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Authors: Madeleine Wickham,Sophie Kinsella

Tags: #Contemporary Women

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BOOK: A Desirable Residence
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Alice now knew all about
Summer Street
. She knew that Ian Everitt was leaving the series, that they’d definitely decided to recast his part and that they’d asked Piers to audition for it. And she knew that he simply had to get it.

A few weeks ago, she and Ginny had spent the evening together alone while Piers and Duncan were seeing a play in London, and after a few glasses of wine, Ginny had told her all about it. How Piers hardly had any work any more, and how wonderful it would be if he was in
Summer Street,
and how then they could afford to move to a big house in Berkshire and have lots of children and Alice could come and stay with them every summer. She got really excited about it, and so did Alice, and then they opened another bottle of wine and phoned up for some pizza and watched all the videos of Piers in old episodes of
Coppers
.

Alice had never seen Piers on television before, and she was amazed. Amazed at how good he was, just like a proper famous actor, and amazed at how spooky it was, seeing him on the screen. And how weird she felt when she saw the bit where he kissed one of the police girls. She wanted to ask Ginny what she felt like when she saw that, but didn’t quite dare. So they both sat, hugging their knees, watching in silence, as Piers slowly undressed the girl, and murmured things against her neck, and kissed her all over, and then the next thing it was morning and Piers and the girl were in bed together.

And then Ginny looked at Alice really strangely, and started asking her about her parents. Things like how long they’d been married, and wasn’t it really hard for them running a business, and did her mother get much chance to have a social life. Alice had never really thought about either of her parents having a
social
life before. But she answered all Ginny’s questions as best she could. And then suddenly Ginny leant over and gave Alice a big hug, and said, ‘Oh, poor little Alice!’

Alice thought it was all a bit odd. But when she shyly told Duncan what had happened, he said that was just like Ginny, the old lush. And then he explained what a lush was, and then he somehow ended up being Sir Toby Belch for the rest of the evening.

‘Right then!’ Alice gave a startled jump as Piers appeared by her side, now wearing a huge cream aran jersey under a Barbour. ‘Let’s go shopping!’

They headed off down the street, Piers striding along briskly, Alice scuttling beside him; taking three steps for every two of his. For the first few minutes they proceeded in silence. Alice tried frantically to think of something to say. At one point she actually opened her mouth, but then thought better of it. It was only when they got to the short cut that she spoke.

‘Actually, this way’s quicker.’ She flushed, as Piers stopped in his tracks.

‘Really? Down there?’

‘It’s a short cut. I mean,’ she floundered as his gaze fell on her, ‘we don’t have to go that way. We could carry on. It’s just—’

‘Of course we’ll go that way.’ Piers bestowed on Alice a charming smile as they began to walk again. ‘Aren’t I lucky to have had you with me? I would never have thought of looking for a short cut.’ Alice glowed silently with pleasure.

‘I went to see the producer of
Summer Street
today,’ said Piers suddenly.

‘Really?’ Alice looked up at him in awe. Piers had never said anything to her about
Summer Street
, only Ginny.

‘It’s all looking quite good,’ Piers added. ‘He’s going to set me up with an audition in the New Year.’

‘Wow. That’s so cool. Will you meet, like, all the people?’

‘Yes.’ He looked down at her. ‘In fact, that’s part of the audition. I’ve got to get along with the cast. Be part of the team.’

They had arrived at the supermarket now, and Piers held open the door for Alice. He picked up a basket and looked around expectantly.

‘Now come on,’ he said. ‘What do we want? Cinnamon sticks? Cloves?’

‘I think so,’ said Alice vaguely. She had just spotted Antonia Callender on the other side of the shop, with her mother. It would be so cool if she could just walk past with Piers, and kind of nod to Antonia. She tossed back her hair nonchalantly and risked a friendly smile at Piers. Antonia might even think Piers was her boyfriend.

‘I think the spices might be that way,’ she said, pointing to the other side of the shop.

‘OK then.’

As they approached Antonia, Alice could feel her cheeks becoming pinker. She clenched her hand in her pocket and squeezed the lining material tighter. Any minute now, Antonia would see them and . . .

‘Hi, Alice!’ Antonia’s voice rang across the aisle. Alice waited for a second, then casually looked up at Antonia’s eager face. Antonia’s gaze shifted to Piers, and then back to Alice. Her eyes were bright. Alice gave her a blank look, almost as though she didn’t recognize her. Then a bit of a smile.

‘Hi, Antonia,’ she said shortly. Antonia looked at Piers again and blushed.

‘Oh, hello, Alice.’ It was Antonia’s mother, coming over from the frozen fish counter, looking disapprovingly at Piers. ‘Doing some shopping for Mummy?’

‘No, actually, we’re buying some stuff for mulled wine.’ Piers’s voice resounded through the shop, confident and arresting. ‘Is it cinnamon we want? And cloves?’

‘Well, it depends.’ Antonia’s mother looked at Alice again. ‘The way I usually do it is to stick some cloves into oranges. And add brown sugar and water.’

‘That’s right,’ exclaimed Piers. ‘I remember now. And lots of brandy.’

‘Well,’ said Antonia’s mother. ‘It depends how strong you want it. It depends who’s going to be drinking it.’ She looked meaningfully at Alice. Antonia shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other.

‘Oh, I think we want it as strong as possible,’ said Piers cheerfully. ‘Don’t you, Alice?’

‘Oh yes,’ said Alice joyfully. She grinned at him and forced herself not even to look at Antonia. ‘Had we better go?’ she added bravely.

‘Yes, we’d better crack on.’ Piers smiled charmingly at Antonia and her mother. ‘So nice to meet you,’ he said. ‘And thank you for the cookery tips.’ His voice held just the faintest tinge of mockery, and as they walked away, Alice could hear Antonia wailing at her mother, ‘Mummy, why did you have to
say
that?’

‘Friend of yours?’ Piers asked, as they rounded the corner.

‘Enemy,’ said Alice succinctly.

‘Thought so,’ said Piers. They grinned at each other; collaborators’ grins, and Alice felt a sudden pull of yearning in her stomach. She looked at Piers, and felt herself growing hot. Somewhere, dim and distant in the back of her mind, resided permanently the silhouetted image of a couple kissing each other passionately. The girl was Alice; the man had always been faceless. But now, in spite of herself, she could see the face of the man. And it was Piers.

When they got back, Ginny and Duncan were sitting on the floor, playing Scrabble. Ginny’s head shot up as they entered.

‘How was it?’

‘What, the supermarket?’

‘The meeting!
Summer Street!

‘Christ, yes. I’d almost forgotten about it.’ Piers grinned and began to shrug off his Barbour.

Ginny sat perfectly still and waited. She mustn’t say anything; mustn’t start hectoring him. But a throbbing feeling, somewhere between excitement and dread, was nearly driving her mad. It couldn’t be bad news, surely. Not with Piers looking so cheerful. Now he was going out to hang his Barbour on the banisters, and she nearly squeaked with annoyance. Why couldn’t he chuck it onto a chair like he usually did?

‘It went really well.’

‘What?’ Her head jerked up.

‘I think he likes me. He said, get this, “We know you can act.” ’

‘He said that to you?’ Ginny’s eyes lit up. ‘Alan Tinker?’

‘It was practically the first thing he said.’

‘And what did you say?’

‘I can’t remember. I think I just sort of nodded.’

Ginny drew her knees up, and hugged them tight, trying to quell her pounding exhilaration.
We know you can act
. Her mind lingered lovingly on the phrase for a few moments, then firmly put it away in the back of her mind, to be brought out and savoured in the future.

‘And then what happened?’

‘Then he said he’d fix up an audition after Christmas, and that the most important thing is being able to get on with the rest of the cast.’

‘What?’ Duncan looked up. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘Oh, you know. The usual bollocks. Team work and stuff. I guess they don’t want some prima donna.’

‘Oh well, you won’t get the job then,’ said Duncan. ‘Everyone knows what a bitch you are to work with.’ Ginny gazed at Piers with anxious eyes.

‘How do they decide that bit?’

‘I spend an afternoon working with the cast. Something like that.’

‘And what are they like? Will you get on with them all right?’ Too late, Ginny realized how worried she sounded.

‘I would hope so,’ said Piers, with a hint of tension in his voice. ‘Unless I’m being my usual charmless self.’

‘Of course! I didn’t mean—’

‘Of course he will,’ said Duncan easily. ‘Piece of piss. Now come on, you two, join in our game of Scrabble.’ He waved his rack of letters at Piers and Alice, so that the pieces scattered all over the floor.

‘We’ve got stuff for mulled wine,’ said Piers. ‘And I’m going to light the fire.’ He dropped a kiss on Ginny’s shiny blond head. ‘Do you know how to make mulled wine? We bought cloves and stuff.’ Ginny looked up at Piers, and gave him a penitent smile.

‘That sounds lovely. I could do with some mulled wine. And I’m sorry, Alice, I haven’t even said hello to you yet. How are you?’

‘Alice helped me buy the cloves,’ said Piers.

‘And now she can help me make the mulled wine,’ said Duncan quickly. ‘I am the world’s leading expert on mulling, as you might be aware.’

‘And the world’s worst fire-maker,’ added Piers. ‘We know.’

Half an hour later, they resumed the game of Scrabble in front of the beginnings of a fire, armed with glasses of steaming, aromatic mulled wine.

‘Bloody hell!’ said Piers, as he took a sip. ‘What’s in this?’

‘About three bottles of brandy,’ giggled Alice. She and Duncan had already had several glasses, and she could feel herself getting drunk.

‘My go,’ said Duncan. He stared at the Scrabble board. ‘Oh bugger. I can’t do anything.’ He paused, scratched his head and took a few sips from his glass.

‘Is there such a word as X-Y-N-E?’ he said eventually. ‘Xyne. I’m sure it was in Shakespeare.’

‘I don’t think so,’ said Ginny. She sat comfortably with her back against a chair, tilting her face to the glow of the flames. Piers’s fingers were linked with hers, and with every sip of mulled wine she could feel herself relaxing. ‘I think you’ve just made it up.’

‘Xyne,’ said Duncan musingly. ‘Xyne. Isn’t it a form of meditation? Xyne karma.’

‘Never heard of it,’ said Piers.

‘Philistine,’ retorted Duncan. He sighed hugely. ‘Oh well, I can’t go then.’

‘Of course you can,’ said Ginny. ‘What about Yen?’

‘Oh yes, I suppose that would do,’ said Duncan brightly. He looked at his pieces and put them down. ‘But I wanted to use my X. I’m sure Xyne’s a word. It’s very unfair.’ He looked severely at Alice. ‘What are you sniggering at?’

‘My go,’ said Ginny. She stared at her letters and took several sips of mulled wine. Then she giggled. ‘I’ve got one.’

‘D-I-C-K,’ read Duncan as she put the letters down. ‘Dick. You can’t have that. It’s a name.’

‘No it’s not!’ retorted Ginny. ‘It’s a thing.’ She gave a snort of laughter.

‘Is it?’ Duncan looked about with raised eyebrows. ‘Is it? Could you tell us what it is, please? I’ve never heard of it. And neither has Alice. Have you, Alice?’ He winked at Alice, who was still shaking with giggles. Ginny ignored him.

‘Piers, it’s your go.’

‘No, let Alice go first.’

Alice felt blissful. She was all warm and cosy and drunk, and surrounded by the beautifulest, coolest, funniest people she’d ever met. She controlled her giggles and stared at her row of letters. If only she could think of something funny to put. But as she gazed, her mind went blank. She couldn’t see a single word.

‘Let me have a look,’ said Duncan helpfully. He leaned over, and whistled. ‘Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear. Crap-letter alert.’

‘Is there really nothing?’ said Ginny.

‘Completely, absolutely noth . . . Wait!’ Duncan’s voice rose to a squeal. ‘I’ve seen something.’ Slowly and ceremonially, he placed each of Alice’s letters down on the board in a row. Ginny read them out as they went down.

‘J-E-C-C-S – Duncan, is this really a word? – Q-B. Duncan!’

‘Jeccsqb,’ said Duncan confidently. ‘Come on, you’re not going to tell me you don’t know that one.’ He beamed at Alice, whose laughter was now uncontrollable. Her stomach hurt; she couldn’t speak. ‘Well done! You get a fifty-point bonus for using up all your letters. And another glass of mulled wine.’

Alice’s elated mood lasted all the way home. She bounded up the stairs to the flat, feeling euphoric and witty. She had never laughed so much in her life; even now, remembering some of the things Duncan had said made her erupt into a half-giggle. She burst into the sitting-room, a huge grin on her face, to find her parents watching television.

BOOK: A Desirable Residence
13.63Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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