A Dinner Of Herbs (36 page)

they exchanged

presents: socks and a muffler for Hal, a pound box of china tea for Kate, and a soft

Shetland shawl for

Mary Ellen. His gift had touched her greatly and she was warm in her thanks to him.

Later, they sat

round the fire and he even made her laugh spontaneously about his neighbour Farmer

Gordon and his

wife and three unmarried daughters, the latter all well into their thirties. He imitated the farmer’s voice

shouting for them, demonstrating by standing up, his stomach thrust out, and yelling,

“You A! ... B! and

C!” and the women hastening to do his bidding. Apparently the eldest was called Annie, the second

Bella, and the third Carrie. He said he had wanted ten of a family and he would name

them after the

alphabet; however, they stopped at three. And Hal said he treated them as he would a

small squad of

soldiers. His wife never spoke except with her thumb. Again he demonstrated, pointing

his thumb to

different corners of the room and ending, “I bet her thumb speaks in five different

languages. It’s bent

right back like this ... and it wobbles.”

When Kate was able to get her breath again, she said, “There’s a slate loose there. There was in his

father afore him. He came down from Scotland and he wore a skirt, kilt they called it, and he used to

march around Hexham market on fair days, his bum swinging like two pig’s bladders.

And the women

used to go into fits. But his slate wasn’t completely loose for he was a good farmer, at least when it

came to bargaining. And this one is much the same I should say.”

The darkness had set in when Hal made a move to go to see to his cattle, and Mary Ellen went to open

the door for him in order to let him out quickly because a high wind was blowing. She

stood with the

sneck in her hand for a moment and looked at him through the candlelight, saying,

“Thanks, Hal.

“Tis been a grand day.”

His voice serious for once, he said, “It has that. I’ve enjoyed it.

It’s the best Christmas I’ve had for a long time, in fact, ever. “ Then he became silent for a moment

while he stared at her before asking, “ You all right? “

Her lips parted twice before she admitted, “Not so good at times.”

“Do you know exactly?”

“Aye. It should be towards the end of January or early February. Kate says you never can be clear cut

with... with a first.” Her voice trailed off.

It was the first time they had discussed the matter openly;

and now he said, “Take care. Have you seen about a midwife?”

“Mrs. Patterson’s comin’ in from the mill cottages.”

“Aye, well, she’s a sensible woman and has a squad other own. Anyway, I’ll be over

every day.”

“Thanks, Hal.”

“You’re welcome. You’re welcome.” His tone had returned to the one she recognized

and she opened

the door and he bent his head against the blast and went out.

After closing and bolting the door she stood for a moment drawing in gasps of air. She had said she

would go to the end of the month. Would she have to suffer this pain in her side and this awful feeling till

then? Yes, she supposed so. This was what carrying a child meant. But how did some

women carry on

till the last minute? All she really wanted to do now was lie down and not get up again.

Oh she moved

from the door and shook her head impatiently she mustn’t think like that. She mustn’t, she mustn’t; she

had some weeks to go yet.

It was the second week in January and it had snowed for a full day and a night, thawed a little, then a

frost had turned the slush into ice.

On top of this there had been another heavy fall; and Hal told of roads blocked and horses in drifts, of

the coaches being delayed and no hope of some of them getting through for days. Each

time he came he

would observe Mary Ellen anxiously, and once he said, “Do you think you’ll travel the

time?” in answer

to which she could only shake her head.

During each visit he would stack plenty of wood and peat by the door and fill two

buckets of water from

the well, together with the same number of jugs. His usual time of arriving was late in the afternoon, and

sometimes he had to light his lantern to get here.

On this particular day she had just got back into the cottage from emptying the slops

when she heard him

kick his feet against the wood pile. And when he came in he stood on the mat inside the door and shook

himself free from the fresh falling snow.

“You’re early,” she said in surprise.

“Aye. I thought it best. It’s been comin’ down steady for hours now an’ the sky’s low. It could go on

all day and I mightn’t be able to make me way across later on, so, look,. I’ve brought you extra milk

and a cut of bacon. Now if| anything should happen that I can’t get across in the;|

morning, don’t worry,

I’ll make it later somehow.

They’re,! out cutting through the drifts now on the main road. It isn’t j the bloomin’

snow, it’s where it

drifts to. If only the wind!

would go down. How are you? “

She drew in a long shuddering breath before she said, “I ... I’ve got to admit, Hal, I’m not feelin’ too

good.”

“Should I go and tell Mrs. Patterson?”

“No, I saw her yesterday. She knows.”

“How is she?” He nodded towards the bed.

“She’s not well at all. Her chest’s bad. She can hardly speak this mornin’ and she’s got this pain in her

stomach. She’s asleep now.”

“Her potions no good?”

“No, they don’t seem to answer.”

“Funny’—he shook his head ‘she can ease other people’s pains but not her own. She

should see a

doctor. If I happen to come across him I’ll tell him to call in. But there again, there’s small chance of him

getting’ here at the moment. Look’—he moved nearer to her “ I would stay, only. well’—

he gave a

little smile and he wagged his head from side to side, ‘it’s funny in a way. Well, not funny, I didn’t mean

it like that, but I’ve got a cow comin’ on to calf any minute an’ you know I’m new at the game. Although

I saw Farmer Gordon bringing one through recently I get a sort of scared feeling in case anything should

go wrong with her. She’s a nice old cow. “

His voice was soft, the look in his eyes warm. She had never seen that expression on his face before,

and her voice, too, was soft as she replied, “Oh, you must go, Hal, and see to her. It will be wonderful

to have a calf. But you know, you needn’t worry, they see to everything themselves,

unless something

goes radically wrong.”

“You’ve seen them born?” His face stretched slightly, then he added, “Oh, well, aye you would on the

farm.”

“I’ve helped sometimes.” Her voice was low.

“You have? Aw, well, you’ll know all about it then. I wish you could come along and

give me a hand.”

They exchanged smiles now, then she said, “It’ll be all right. But I always think it’s amazing they can

stand on their legs after about an hour, after their mothers have cleaned them, an’ the mothers always

look so pleased. I... I’ve always liked cows. They’re so sensible, at least most of them are, but you can

get some that can be naggy and bad-tempered. One used to kick the bucket over every

time she got a

chance. Oh!” She brought her jaws tightly together and put her hand on her side, which brought him

closer to her, saying, “Starting?”

“No, no.” She lied with a grin.

“He ... it kicks.”

“Oh.” He pursed his lips, wagged his head in an embarrassed movement, then said,

“Well, you’ll be all

right then for a time?”

“Yes, yes, I’ll be all right, Hal. I hope it’s another little | cow for you.” 3 “Oh, I wouldn’t mind what it is

as long as she gets it over. | Well, I’ll be off. Now take care, won’t you? I’ll be back the|

day if I can,

later, if it eases off. But in any case I’ll be over| tomorrow, sometime or other, hail, rain, or snow.

Huh!” He|” laughed.

“Or snow, I said.” | She smiled at him, pulled open the door; he nodded atl her, then he was gone. |

Slowly now she made her way towards the table and sal| down and, leaning her forearms

on it, she

muttered, “Oh, il| only he could have stayed.” Then bending her head lowei|j still, she muttered, “Oh

dear God! What am I going to do iff it should come afore time?”

A croak from the bed brought her slowly to her feet, an she went over to it. Kate was

lying on the far

side near th wall but her face was turned towards her, and in a crackec voice she asked,

“That Hal?”

“Yes. He came early, ‘cos the roads are blocked here and there, but he’s comin’ back

later. If he can

see the doctq] he’s gona tell him to call for you.” ;

“Useless. Useless. I want no doctor.

“Tis you who wants i doctor.

Rest, girl; lie yourself down here. “

“I... I will in a minute, I’ve one or two things to see to.” yl The one or two things to see to included

tearing up ^ flannelette sheet into squares, carrying the water from thef scullery and putting the pails to the

side of the fireplac^H trimming the candles, and lastly, putting some oats in a black pan and pressing this

into the ashes.

This done, she went to the bed and, pulling off her boots, she got under the top cover.

Kate made no

sound: she had been chewing on whole marigold leaves which must have eased her pain

and put her to

sleep.

Kate had been very reluctant about discussing the uses of the marigold: she had warned her only of the

dangers of the African marigold, which, if eaten, could make you swell up like a balloon.

But even the

leaves of the ordinary marigold she never gave whole to anyone who called. She might

sprinkle a little in

with a mixture of other herbs to perfect a cure, yet she herself would chew on the dried whole leaves.

She, too, at this moment felt in need of whatever solace the leaves could give her. But she resisted the

urge to lean over Kate and help herself, and slowly the pain eased and she dropped into a sleep.

When she awoke, the candles had guttered and there was a chill on the room. She sat up slowly, asking

herself how long she had been asleep.

There was still no movement from Kate.

Shuddering, she put her feet on the floor and went to the fire. It had burnt low. Lifting the lid of the pan,

she saw that the oats had swollen and absorbed all of the water. She raised her eyes to the clock and

couldn’t believe what she saw. It was three o’clock in the afternoon. She looked towards the window

but could see nothing. The room seemed to be holding a great silence.

As she bent to reach out to pick up some wood to put on the fire, she was attacked by a pain that

brought a cry from her. And the next minute she was kneeling on the mat, her head

towards her knees,

her arms hugging at herself and the sweat pouring from her.

This was it. This was surely it. When the pain eased she dropped onto her side and laid her arm on the

settle and dropped her head onto it.

After a moment she got onto her knees and hastily banked up the fire;

then pulling herself upwards, she went towards the window, and when she rubbed at the

pane she could

see nothing but a great white blur.

Cautiously now, she opened the door and her face stretched at the sight of the barrier of snow three feet

high. A gust of wind took the top off it and drove it into her face and into the room, and she banged the

door closed and, leaning against it, stood gasping as she thought: He’ll never get through in this. Neither

will Mrs. Patterson.

When the pain seized her again she cried out against it. Then struggling to the bed, she shook Kate on

the shoulder.

“Kate! Kate!

Wake up! I . I think it’s comin’, and Mrs. Patterson, she won’t be able to get through. The snow’s

nearly up to the latch outside and it’s still coming down. What am I goin’ to do, Kate! “

“Lie down. Lie down—If it comes, it comes, an’ come it will. Lie down. I... I can’t do anything for

you, girl, but it will be all right. When did the pain start?”

“Just a little while ago, and bad.”

“Oh, that could go on for a day or more, two in fact. Don’t worry.

There’s more to come. All you’ve got to do is hold your breath, grip onto something an’

push. It’ll

come when it’s ready. “ Her voice trailed away and she turned her head into the pillow.

Mary Ellen sat pn the edge of the bed, panic filling her. And now she began to whimper,

“Oh, Ma.

Ma.” Oh, if she was only back at Mrs. Davison’s. Or if Hal was here. Oh no, not Hal, not when she

was havin’ the child. Not Hal. That would be too much, Roddy’s child comin’ into the

world, and Hal

seem’ it. Oh no, no. She started to wag her head;

from side to side until a stern voice from within herj commanded. Stop it! Stop it. Pull yourself

together. Get things ready. The wash-basket from the scullery. Put a blanket and a sheet in it. Yes,

yes. She nodded at herself aS if the advice were coming from someone else. j She was

Only halfway

down the room when the paiaj struck her again, and once more she was kneeling, but ob|

the stone floor

now. After a moment, she told herself it was] no use, she must go back and lie down on the bed. As

Kate;

said, if it came it came. But oh dear Lord, she wished there was somebody here who