A Dinner Of Herbs (96 page)

those years,

Willy? Thirty-four pounds ... thirty-four pounds. A shilling a week maid would have

gathered more.

Oh! Ladylike.

Willy? And me with me apron hardly ever off? “ She now put her hands on his face and,

her voice a

whisper, she said, “ I . I love you. I know I’m older than you by five years and I’m a set woman . I’ll

never be young again. As my mother is always hinting, I’m ready for my black bonnet

and bead cape. “

“Oh, Maggie, Maggie, be quiet. Don’t talk so. You’re beautiful, every bit of you, and for the last two

years I’ve ached to do just this.”

And getting quickly to his feet, he pulled her upwards and into his arms, and kissed her. It was a gentle

kiss at first and she lay against him quiet, even bewildered for a moment. Then, her arms about him, she

returned his kiss, and, entwined, they stood swaying, she conscious of the heat of his body coming

through his nightshirt.

When it was over, she did not Withdraw from him but dropped her head onto his

shoulder and let it stay

there for a moment before he pressed her from him. He then quickly unknotted her head-

shawl which

had fallen onto her neck, undid her coat which he threw to one side, pressed her down

into the chair

again and took off her overshoes. His back bent, he lifted his head and his eyes on a level with hers, he

asked quietly, “Will you marry me, Maggie?”

“Tomorrow, Willy.”

That’s good enough for me. “

She did not stay his hands as he unbuttoned her dre;

but stood as a child might, quiet and docile, until reached her bodice and last petticoat.

Then he said

soft “Come, Maggie, the bed’s still warm.” And she went wi him and lay down by his

side in the narrow

bed and kn< for the first time in her forty years what it was to be love

The last week in February and the first week in March it snowed, thawed, and froze

repeatedly, and it

wasn’t until a real thaw set in that communications were opened up again.

Mary Ellen hadn’t seen Kate or any of the family during this period, so when Kate rode in through a

drizzle of cold rain, she exclaimed loudly, “Oh, I am glad to see you, lass. It was as if all of you were

dead. But you’re wet through.”

“No, only the top of me. But I thought I’d better come when the going was good, because all the signs

show we’re in for another bout.”

“Don’t say that.”

“Anyway, how are you all?”

“Oh, same as usual I suppose. Get your things off, and I’ll make a drink.”

“I cannot stay long, Mam.”

“Ben bad again?”

“No ... no, he’s come through very well this winter, surprisingly well.”

“The hairns all right?”

For answer, Kate said, “Harry’s doing splendidly at school. You know, he was fourteen

last Tuesday.”

“Aye, I know, and I’ve got a present for him.”

“Well, Ben was delighted by his school report. He passed everything with flying colours, and he’s going

into one of the best schools in Newcastle in the autumn, as a boarder ...”

“My! My! that will please Ben. But does the lad want to go?”

“Oh, yes. Oh, yes. He loves his books. He’s like Ben in that way.”

“Pity the other one hasn’t a similar taste. Have you had any more trouble with him?”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, you know what I mean. Being brought home drunk.”

There was silence for a time, and Kate, from where she was now sitting at the end of the settle, looked

at her mother’s back as she bent over the fire, and after a moment she said, “Bad news travels fast.”

“Oh, lass’—Mary Ellen turned her head towards her ‘the whole countryside knew about

it, and was

laughing. Anything the Reillys or the Smiths get up to takes on headlines, you know

that.”

“He’s not bad, Mam, only a bit wild.”

“I’d like to think that, too, lass.”

“Well, you can think it. And he’s working well. He’s taken to the farm work. He’s as

good as any

hand, and Dawson says that an’ all, and it’s something for Dawson to praise a hand.”

“Perhaps he knows which side his bread’s buttered on.”

“Oh, Mam. Mam.”

“I’m sorry, lass. Anyway, let’s change the subject.”

“Yes, Mam, I agree with you there, once and for all, let’s change the subject about Fraser.

It’s bad

enough Dad feeling towards him the way he does without you going along that road too.”

“I’m only thinking of you, lass, and Ben.”

“Well, you needn’t. We can manage our own affairs. Now, now, I’m not meaning that

nasty, Mam, but

just leave it, please. Anyway, where’s Maggie?”

“Maggie.” And now Mary Ellen’s words came slowly:

“Maggie was, at least the last time I saw her, supposed to be cleaning the sitting-room.

But when I went

in, there she sat warming her knees at the fire. What’s come over her lately, I just don’t know.” Her

voice dropped and, poking her head towards Kate, she went on, “I think it must be her

time of life, you

know.” She nodded.

“She was always moody, you know that. Could go without speaking for days. Well, she

still has her

moods, but not so often, and when she’s not in them she chatters like a magpie. Well, I suppose, that’s

how it takes some people. You know how it is.”

At this Kate laughed and said, “I don’t yet, Mam, not yet.”

“No? It hasn’t happened?”

“Not that I’m aware of.”

“Well, all I can say is you’re lucky, because it can be a nasty time.

Anyway, you’ll have it to come. “

“Thanks, Mam, thanks. It’s something to look forward to.” Kate rose, saying now, “I’ll slip through

and have a word with her.”

“I’ve mashed the tea.”

“I won’t be a minute.”

She was five minutes, and when she returned to the kitchen Mary Ellen greeted her with,

“Well, what

was she doing? Sitting on her backside again?”

“No, she was on her knees polishing the floor. But, as you remarked, Mam, she’s

changing. Funny,

but....”

“Funny, but what?”

“Well Kate put three spoonfuls of sugar into her mug of tea before she added, “ It’s a funny thing to say

about our Maggie, but she seems happy. She looks pleasant, in fact like she used to look years ago. If

that’s the change on her I won’t mind when it’s my turn. “

“Happy?” Mary Ellen pushed her head back into her shoulders as if in enquiry. But she

didn’t voice her

next thoughts which were: Why should she be happy? What’s making her happy? And

she looked

towards the slushcovered yard and gave herself the answer to her unspoken question with a loud. No!

no! in her mind, emphasized with an Oh, no!

“Where’s Dad?”

“He’s gone round with John seeing what damage has been done to the bottom fields. If

we have

another bout of this, it’s bound to put the ploughing back.”

“Is John all right?”

Mary Ellen now took a seat opposite her daughter and, after sipping her tea, she said,

“Kate, there’s

nobody in this house seems all right at the moment.”

“What’s wrong with John?” There was concern in Kate’s voice, and Mary Ellen

answered, “Nothing

that anybody can put a finger on, but he’s like a bear with a sore skull. He’s had three letters in the last

month from... well, you know who.”

“She writes to him?”

“Oh, aye, aye, and he must write back to her. I’ve never seen him give anything to the postie at this end;

he’s become secretive, and that’s not John you know. I’m worried, Kate.”

“What do you mean, you’re worried?”

“Don’t be silly, lass. I’m worried about him and her.”

“John?” Now Kate’s face was screwed up in disbelief, “John and that little piece? He

could almost be

her grandfather.”

“He couldn’t, Kate. She wasn’t sixteen, she was nine teen.”

“Nineteen?” Kate’s voice was small.

“Why did she say she was sixteen?

Or just coming up seventeen? “

“It was your father, apparently, who thought it up, in case I wouldn’t take her under my protection, if she

was a young woman. That was the idea. But it strikes me that that one can take care of herself. She did

from the beginning. She seemed to have an old head on young shoulders, although I

couldn’t understand

what she said most of the time when she was talking that French gibberish.”

“John and her? On no, Main. John wouldn’t,” “John would, lass, and that’s what I’m

afraid of. He’s

been acting funny lately, not himself. There’s a pair of them, Maggie and him, both at the wrong age for

this kind of thing to happen to them. Women go daft about this time, but men go clean

barmy. I’ve seen

it afore.

Remember Jimmy Braithwaite? Forty-five he was. As solid as a rock, everyone thought.

He had

looked after his father and mother for years, and when they went what did he go and do?

Marry a lass

of twenty-two.

You pass the place every time you come in here. She’s got a squad around her, seven, and full with

another. Tisn’t decent. But it happens, you see, lass. “

Kate was on her feet now, pulling on her gloves as she said, “I know it happens, Mam,

but not John and

her. Knowing the relationship, he wouldn’t do it.”

“I wouldn’t put it past him, Kate. I wouldn’t put it past him. But oh my God! To think of that lass in

this house all the time, it would drive me mad. I couldn’t put up with it, I just couldn’t.”

“What does Dad say?”

“Nothing, because he doesn’t seem to notice anything. And anyway, he wouldn’t mind

her, I’m sure he

wouldn’t mind her. He seemed to cotton on to her, like most men do, an’ he’d put up with anything

rather than lose John. It’s been a kind of secret fear with him that John, like Tom, would marry into a

farm and go off. And where would we be then?”

Kate’s voice had changed when she said, “He’d have to be like other people, Mam, and

hire hands.

It’s been done, you know. You can’t make use of your family all your lives. And both

John and Maggie

have got a life of their own to live. But, oh’ she shook her head—’not John and her,

because I’m like

you, Mam, I didn’t like her. I wouldn’t, would I? It’s understandable.”

Mary Ellen said nothing to this because it was understandable, and Kate said, “I must be off. We’ll all

be over as usual when the weather permits. Bye-bye, Mam.”

“Bye-bye, lass.” Mary Ellen opened the door for her and closed it quickly again to keep out the driving

rain. Back in the middle of the kitchen, she stood drumming her fingers on the table in her usual way

when worried. And the tattoo became louder as her mind moved from John to her

daughter, and she

said aloud, “I’ll soon put a stop to that, if it is that.”

During the next three weeks it was noticeable that Mary Ellen, who was to be seen almost daily visiting

the byres, the barn, the stables, and the tack-room, presumably looking for Terry to see that he was all

right, was on Maggie’s own particular warpath. And Maggie wasn’t blind to this, but she didn’t think

John had noticed anything, until one day when she was making for the barn, he passed

her and out of the

corner of his mouth he said, “Don’t go in there. Mam’s standing round the back.”

She had stopped abruptly, turned and looked to where her brother was going into one of the stables.

Then deliberately walking into the barn, she went to the far end where she knew Willy

was and in a loud

tone she said, “Go and give Terry a hand, will you? He’s shifting the pigs. I’ll see to that,” while she

gesticulated towards the far wall of the barn where the flaps let in the daylight, and he, taking her cue,

said, “All right, I’ll do that. But I told him to leave it. Sure you can manage?”

“Yes, thank you, Willy, I can manage. But I don’t know how much longer.” She made a

face at him as

he passed her.

“I’m getting tired of being taken for the third farmhand. I’ll be glad when young Ozzie starts. He’d have

to go and twist his foot, wouldn’t he?”

When Willy had gone, she did not take up the rake and pull the straw together, but, going to the end of

the barn, she put her eye to a crack and saw her mother, bundled up to the eyes with

clothes, making her

way back into the yard.

A minute or two later, John came into the barn and they stood looking at each other until he said, “You

want to be careful, Maggie.”

“You know?”

“Couldn’t help but. I’m a light sleeper, and I use that door sometimes.”

She bowed her head as she muttered, “I don’t care. It’s my life, and . and I love him, and he, me. If

she kicks

up we’ll go off. “

“You can’t do that, Maggie. She’s alone as it is.”

Her head bounced up as she demanded, “What’s in the future for us then? A hole in the

corner affair?

He’s worth marrying, John. He’s a good man.”

“I know that. I know that. Things are unfair. If it lay with me, but it doesn’t, so....

Anyway, there’ll be

hell to pay if this comes out, you know there will. He could be ten times better than he is, but still Dad

would send him packing. Huh! It’s funny.” He gave a short laugh.

“People change out of all recognition. It must be age. I’ll have to remember that. But he was as low as

any cowman at one time, Dad.”

“Yes, I know that, with not half the brains of Willy.”

“Brains don’t come into this, Maggie.”