A Dom's Dilemma (29 page)

“No, I wouldn’t. But for our scenario we’re gonna say you suffered through a really nasty experience with nipple clamps, but I still thought your fear was of the unknown. Now do you see the difference?”

“No.”

“I’m gonna treat you a lot differently if I think your fear is nothin’ more than an overreaction, versus a result of someone havin’ tortured and hurt you.”

She peeked back at him. “How so?”

“I would have a lot more patience with a sub who’d been abused versus one who’s fightin’ me because she’s afraid it
might
hurt. For the first one, I would be tryin’ to prove that clamps could be applied without bruisin’ or cuttin’ the skin. I would take the time to explain everythin’ I was doin’, and why, while I made sure the clamps were only tight enough for her to feel ‘em. For the second one I would be tryin’ to prove that such overblown fears were unfounded by makin’ the sub submit to me. If the sub resisted, I might even punish her.”

Her brow wrinkled with a worried frown. “But you said you’d never punish me for being scared.”

“That’s true. I wouldn’t. However, I would punish you for continuin’ to resist me, unless I knew you’d been hurt. If I knew that, I’d still be insistent, but I’d never punish.”

The worry wrinkle between her brows eased a bit. “I guess I understand.”

“Think it through. Punishin’ you for bein’ afraid when you’d been cruelly abused would only heighten your fear. Wouldn’t it?”

Giving him a slow nod, she put her head down and said, “Yeah, it would. I’d most likely get hysterical if you did that.”

“Exactly, and rightly so. If a prior experience has been bad, you need to let your Dom know so he can adjust his methods to meet your needs. And that is why the trust between a Dom and his sub needs to be inviolable.”

Glancing back with a grimace, she asked, “So, is that all I’ll ever be to you? A sub?”

“That’s another discussion we need to have, but not right now. Right now, I want you to tell me about Mike.”

Her grimace quickly turned into a wince, like a little girl. “Do I have to?”

“Yes, darlin’, you do. I’m workin’ on a similar case and I think your experience may be connected in some way. So, I need to know what Mike did to you.”

“I’m not sure, exactly. It hurt and I bled, both after he raped me back there and later when he started sticking things inside me.”

“What did he insert, do you know?”

She shook her head, then laid it down on the couch over her folded arms. “No. All I know is it hurt. A lot.”

“Did you need surgery afterwards?”

“The night I ran away from him I did, but up until then I never sought medical attention.”

“All right. Tell me first how long you were with him.” Silence. “Kelly….”

He could feel her tensing beneath his hand.

“Please don’t be angry with me.”

The fear he could hear in her softly spoken plea surprised him. “I won’t get angry, darlin’. This man abused you, so why should I get angry with you?”

“Because I stayed with him for three years.”

He let out a whistle. “That’s a long time to suffer the sort of pain he was dealin’ out. No wonder you handled it so well Friday night.” When she didn’t respond, he asked, “Next question, why
did
you stay so long with him?” Silence. “Were you in love with him?”

“I thought so,” she admitted, starting to relax again.

“Did you think he was in love with you?”

“In the beginning I did. He was strict, in some ways, like you, except he enjoyed making me suffer. He’d even get off on it sometimes. I might have accepted it better if he’d comforted me afterwards, but he’d only get mad and walk out on me if I acted too needy. Like I thought you were going to do.”

And that was another issue they needed to address. Abandonment. They had an impressive list of discussion topics already, and it appeared to be getting longer. “I see. So, tell me what happened the night you left him. How did you get away?” She shook her head, growing tense again beneath his fingers. The lady knew there were consequences for refusing to answer him, and he’d dispense them if she gave him no choice, but only as a last resort. “I realize it’s difficult to talk about, Kelly, but I need you to tell me. I want to know what he did, and what you did and why the police didn’t catch him. Surely they had to recognize you’d been badly hurt by someone?”

“They did. They tried questioning me, but the hospital doctor told them I needed emergency surgery and afterwards I’d need rest to recuperate, so their questions would have to wait.”

“So, you got the surgery, right?”

“I didn’t have much choice in that. They had me in the operating room and anesthetized before I even realized what they were intending to do.”

“And what happened once you were out of the operatin’ room?”

“I ran away.”

“What!” The thought of her purposely endangering herself brought his strict and angry Dom to the fore, and she grew rigid beneath his hand.

“Please don’t yell. I know it was wrong, but I was afraid he’d catch me, so I got out of the city as fast as I could.”

“Did they discharge you?” Silence. A sure giveaway he wasn’t going to like her answer, but he pursued anyway. “Kelly, were you checked out and discharged by the hospital before you ran away?”

“No, Sir.”

Even though he’d examined her, he probably should insist she see a proctologist. Then again, perhaps he could use other means to ensure she was all right. He needed to give the idea more thought. “What city were you livin’ in then?”

“Wakeford.”

“Massachusetts?” That was a surprise. He thought she’d lived her entire life in Connecticut. “You were livin’ in Massachusetts?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“So, how did you end up back in Connecticut?”

“I took the bus, Sir.”

“No, I mean…. Never mind. So, you aren’t sure what he did, but whatever he did hurt you badly enough to require surgery. Right?” He placed his hand over the area in question and gently separated her buttocks, taking note of her soft distress-filled whimper as her body grew rigid beneath his fingers. “Do you still have pain back here?”

“Occasionally,” she admitted, her spine stiff with palpable fear. Easing up on her a bit, he returned to his light stroking and didn’t say anything. Finally, she added softly, “I think that’s why your instrument hurt so much.”

He moved his hand up her back, soothing away any tightness along the way. “No doubt. I did notice quite a bit of scar tissue, so it makes sense when I took a look inside that the exam might’ve hurt you more than it would a person who hadn’t been injured. So, tell me. Have you seen a butt doctor since your surgery, to make sure you’re okay?”

Feeling every muscle in her back go on sudden alert served as an answer, so he dropped the topic, for now, and continued massaging until she relaxed beneath his fingers. Confident she was calm enough for him to continue questioning her, he returned to his light stroking to keep her at ease. “So, what happened today that gave you the impression he’d found you again?”

“I got a phone call.”

“And?”

“And the voice said he knew where I was, and he was coming to get me.”

“And was the voice Mike’s?”

She hesitated briefly. “I’m not sure. The guy disguised it in some way, probably to keep me from identifying him, but it worried me, so I called you.”

He felt a mixture of pride and relief she still trusted him enough to reach out when she was scared. “Good girl,” he praised softly. “I’m glad you did. Okay.” He helped her up. “Let’s put your panties back on now. I’m gonna make a few calls. I’ll want you to come down to the station later and look at some photographs to see if you recognize Mike in any of them.”

Her face crumpled with sudden uncertainty. “Do I have to, Sir?” Gazing into her terrified eyes, he understood what was bothering her. She felt safe locked in her apartment with him, and going out would expose her to danger. He knew that. However, he had every intention of making sure she was protected. He wasn’t taking any risks with her safety, but he needed her to understand why he was so insistent she do exactly what he wanted in this.

Turning toward her, he cupped her face in his hands. “Kelly, I have a sicko out there right now who’s slicing apart girls’ rectums with double-edged razor blades until they– Whoa!” he said when she turned an alarmingly pale shade of green.

Without hesitating, he picked her up, carried her into the bathroom, and set her in front of the toilet barely in time before she violently threw up. He wet a washcloth and draped it over the back of her neck. “Easy, sugar. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t just blurt things out that way, especially not after everythin’ you’ve been through.”

She threw up again, so he crouched down to rub her back. “I’m so sorry, darlin’,” he murmured, pulling her hair from her face and lightly braiding it behind her head. “I should be horsewhipped for sayin’ what I did.”

She took the washcloth he had laid on her neck and wiped her mouth. “I didn’t know,” she said weakly.

“I realize that. We’ve been tryin’ to keep the attacks out of the news, at least until we’ve got more intel on the perp, but I suspect the lid’s gonna pop soon. That’s why I really need your help.”

She nodded, so he stood up and flushed the john. “You need mouthwash or a peppermint to help settle your stomach?”

Nodding again, she said, “Mouthwash, please.”

He helped her to her feet and got her over to the sink. After making sure he pulled down the right bottle for her, he said, “You okay if I leave you alone for a few while I make some phone calls?”

She merely gave another nod as she chugged back a mouthful of the red liquid and gargled, so he walked into the living room to call in what he’d learned.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

“I think she’s the only witness we’ve got who’s willin’ to testify, Jeff, but until I’m positive her situation is connected, I’d like to keep her involvement under wraps.”

“So, you don’t want me to tell the Captain, sir?” the officer asked.

“Not if you can avoid it. However, I’ll need a surveillance tap on her phone, and another officer at this address as soon as possible. He’ll be the one who’ll escort her down to the station in a bit. She’s too jumpy to be left on her own right now. I’d take her myself, but since I came here with lights and sirens blarin’, I think it’s best she not be seen leaving with me. So, make sure the officer is in plain clothes and an unmarked, in case the perp is watching. Got it?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good. Lastly, I want unmarked cars to cruise by here on a regular basis. And, if we can swing it, I’d like a police officer to be with her at all times. If she’s one of his past victims, I think her life might be in danger now. She was with this sicko for over three years, so she knows him a lot better than any of the others did. He hasn’t killed, yet, that we know of, and I definitely want to keep her from bein’ the first.”

“We’ll get on it right away, sir.”

“Good. I’ll wait with her until the officer arrives. Thanks for all your help.” Jim hung up to find Kelly watching him.

“You’re not going to stay with me and take me down to the station yourself?” she asked, her voice wavering slightly.

“I can’t, darlin’. If he’s watchin’, he’ll know I’m a police officer and that I’ve got you under custody, which will only make catchin’ him that much more difficult.” She nodded, but her forehead furrowed so he opened his arms to her. “Come here, sugar.” When she ran to him, he picked her up and felt her trembling. “Shh. You’re safe. I’m not gonna let anythin’ happen to you. You know that, don’t you?”

She nodded against his chest, so he sat down and held her on his lap, noting her indrawn gasp when her bottom made contact with his jeans. “I’d say we need to get a little more paddin’ on you back there for now. So, let’s get you dressed again.”

“No jeans,” she insisted.

“No? Too sore?” At her nod, he said, “Then get somethin’ looser outta your closet, while I straighten up a bit. I don’t want the officer to think I’ve been abusin’ you.”

She agreed, and after gathering up her jeans and undies she returned to her room while Jim picked up the soiled tissues and took their glasses back to the sink. She’d done some cleaning since he’d been here last, but she was definitely not anally retentive about keeping her things neat. Good thing he wasn’t either. Although, he did tend to be quite a bit tidier than she was.

When she joined him in the kitchen he could tell she’d washed her face and braided her hair much more neatly than he had. But with her loose blouse and slacks, she looked like a lost little girl to him. His protective and slightly paternal instincts coming to the fore, he held his arms out to her. She stepped in and held him tightly.

“Okay, darlin’, let’s go back into the livin’ room and sit down. I wanna talk about what’s happenin’ between us.”

“Now?” she asked with a grimace.

“We got a few minutes, and I wanna make sure we’re both on the same page before I leave here today, if at all possible.”

At her reluctant nod, he led her back into the living room and asked, “Chair or lap?”

“Lap please,” she answered softly.

“Very well.” He sat down and patted his lap, so she gingerly lowered herself and curled up against him with her hand at his collar. Button playing again. “Now, I can’t help noticin’ you don’t like it when I call you ‘sub’, and I want to know why.”

“What do you mean?”

“What do you think of when I say ‘sub?’“

“An object or a possession. Something less than a person,” she answered quietly.

“Really?” She nodded. “Interestin’. So, why stick with the lifestyle if you feel that way?” She shrugged, and her fingers began twirling one of the buttons on his collar. “Do you like feelin’ as if you’re someone’s possession?”

“No. I don’t know. Maybe. Sometimes. Depends, I guess.”

“So, you’ve mixed feelin’s about it. Do you like bein’ ordered to do things?”

“Depends on who is doing the ordering, and what the person wants.”

“Let’s say the person is a Dom who wants to spank you for bein’ bad. Do you like bein’ ordered over someone’s knee for a paddlin’?”