A Dom's Dilemma (31 page)

“How old were you?” Jim asked, placing his own fingers over hers.

Kelly shrugged. “Nearly nineteen.”

“A few months over eighteen is more like it givin’ your circumstances, but no mind. So, he stopped you from pleasurin’ him. What did he do next?”

“Asked me if I’d had dinner.”

“He fed you, and then what? Did he take you some place after that?” When she merely nodded, he asked, “Where?”

“Back to his place.”

“His home?”

“Yeah. He had an apartment in the city. He’d specially soundproofed it, because he liked grown-up little girls.”

“So, he installed you in his home and became your new daddy, right?” When she nodded again, he pinched her chin in warning. “Kelly, I’m sure even your daddy didn’t accept a nod from you as a response. Did he?”

“No, Sir.”

“Well, I don’t think it’s appropriate either. Next time you’ll get a swat. So, what was his set up? Did he want a baby, or a little girl?”

“A little girl. But if I didn’t behave, he’d treat me like a baby.”

“Did you sleep in a crib?”

 She nodded, then added, “Yes, Sir. But I started to panic when he put up the slatted sides, so he let me keep them down.”

“Interestin’. How did he like to punish?”

She shrugged. “My mouth was soaped when I cussed, and he spanked me when I acted up.”

“Bare bottom?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Hand or implements?”

“Hand mostly, unless I was really bad, then he’d grab an implement.”

“Did he have sex with you while you were dressed like a little girl?”

“No, Sir. When I was his little girl, he treated me like a little girl. But when he allowed me to come into his room, he treated me like an adult. We had sex like adults. I still had to call him “Sir,” but I was never to call him “Daddy” when I was in his room.”

“Did he ever tell you his name?”

“Yes, though he said he didn’t know why it made any difference since I wasn’t going to be allowed to use it.”

“How long were you with him?”

“Until I was nearly twenty-one.” She gave another shrug, but Jim could see the tears welling in her eyes. “I’d grown too old, so he went looking for someone younger.”

“And where, exactly, did that leave you?”

“Graham took his responsibilities seriously. I was his little girl, so he insisted I learn some skills, then helped me find a job and set me up in my own apartment. He made sure I was settled and secure before he parted from me, and I had strict orders to call him if I ever needed anything. I was never to go back to the streets.”

“Sounds like he had a conscience. Did he take all his girls from the streets?”

“Yeah. I think so. His new girl was younger, but more street tough. I know he had a hard time getting her settled in, and insisted she wear diapers until she agreed to behave.”

“So, you talked with him after you separated.”

“Only a couple of times.”

“Did you see him?”

“Once. Right after Mike. He was pissed. I think the only reason he didn’t spank me then was because I was already badly hurt. He couldn’t stay with me, but he made sure I was watched and protected from that point forward.”

“So, Graham never really abandoned you, Kelly. He continued to watch out and care for you in his own way.” When she merely gave her shoulders an offhand shrug, he added, “But you still felt discarded, didn’t you?”

“He didn’t want me anymore. He might still care in his own way, like Kyle. But neither of them want to be with me. I’m either too old, or too stupid, or ugly, or demanding, or clinging, or bratty—”

“Enough,” Jim said softly, but firmly. “You are young, intelligent and pretty. You’re also stubborn, somewhat bratty and have a nasty temper. You’re afraid of givin’ up control. And afraid of trustin’ others not to hurt you.”

“So I’ve been told,” she replied with a sniff.

He cupped her face in his hands. “Look, Mike is a perverted asshole who enjoyed hurtin’ you to the point of harm. Kyle fell in love with someone else. It’s shitty, but it happens. This Graham guy likes young girls, however, he obviously cared enough for you to make sure you had what you needed. So, what makes you think I’m gonna leave you?”

She met his eyes evenly. “Why wouldn’t you? What’s to keep you from taking off like everyone else?”

“You’ve only had three Doms who’ve topped you more than once, Kelly. That’s not a significant number to base behavior against.”

She shrugged.

“Shrug’s the same as a nod. Not acceptable.” He quickly turned her over and gave her a swat before she could protest. She grit her teeth then wiggled to get free, but he held her in place. “Unless you want another one, you’d best settle down now, little girl.” She instantly quieted at his firm parental tone. Interesting. He wasn’t opposed to treating a sub like a little girl, but he didn’t want her dressed like one. “You gonna behave now?”

“Yes, Sir,” she mumbled, her face pressed against the couch.

He turned her back so she sat on his lap, noting how she clamped down on her lower lip. “What do you say?”

Her lip trembled slightly when she released it. “I’m sorry, Sir”

“For?” he prompted.

“For being disrespectful, Sir.”

“Better,” he commended, drawing her against his chest. Though he had a good idea now why she acted the way she did and what made her feel secure, he still wasn’t sure what to do about the whole calling him “Jim” thing.

Her daddy hadn’t let her call him by his first name, and he let her go. However, Jim knew she occasionally called Kyle by his first name, so that wasn’t it. She told him she did it whenever she needed him to see her as person with a mind and desires of her own, separate from his. And that was something an obedient sub shouldn’t want. At least not when they were together. He’d have to explore the concept with a more detailed discussion later. Not tonight.

He felt better knowing what she wanted when she acted out, and it wasn’t something he minded providing at all. He had strong paternal instincts. He preferred she not start calling him “Daddy,” but he wasn’t entirely opposed to the idea either. Time would tell. In the meantime, he simply held her until she started to relax.

She was an armful, and he liked holding her. But he enjoyed doing other things with her as well. Drawing her up, he touched his lips to hers, lightly at first, then he deepened the kiss tasting and encouraging her to respond. She did, giving a soft moan that hummed against his mouth.

Without saying anything, he started to move her off his lap, countering her instant protest with, “That’s enough of that now.” He rose to his feet and extended his hand to her. “I want you to come with me, no questions or arguments. Just obedience.”

A small smile curved her lips as she placed her fingers on the center of his palm and let him lead her into the bedroom, where he slowly stripped her, taking care to lightly brush her skin every chance he got until she was squirming with need. Then he proceeded to torture her a little before letting her come.

Once they were both sated and laying naked side-by-side in Kelly’s bed, he stroked her hair, then moved his hand down her spine and even lower until she clenched her butt in reaction. The moment she did that, he said, “I think we need to work on this problem you currently have with your back door.”

Rolling on her back, Kelly pulled a pillow over her head and groaned.

He raised the downy barricade to give her a quick kiss. “Yeah, I know. Not what you wanted to hear, but the Dom in me can’t let it go. Sorry. So, I want to get some lube and play with you for a bit. Once you’re okay with that, I’m gonna wanna insert a butt plug and insist you keep it in until we go to sleep.”

She rolled the pillow up and held it tightly below her breasts before she looked at him. “I know you don’t mean to hurt me, but I still don’t think I’m ready to do this, yet.”

Brushing his hand along the side of her face, he tucked some loose strands of hair behind her ear. “Do you think it’ll get easier with time?”

“No. Probably not, but–”

Realizing immediately where this was headed, he held up his hand and said, “Wait. You’re gonna give me excuses. They may be perfectly valid, but they will be excuses all the same, and I’m gonna want to override ‘em by askin’ you to try. So, let’s skip ahead. This time I’ll give you a word equivalent to yellow. If you use it, I’ll stop and we’ll talk. If I determine you’re too uncomfortable to continue, we’ll stop for the night. But if I can convince you otherwise, we’ll go on. Fair enough?”

She shook her head.

“Not fair?” he asked, more than a little surprised.

“No, it’s fair,” she admitted plucking at the bunched pillow. “Only I still don’t want to do it.”

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Leaning forward, Jim gave her another kiss, this time teasing her with a bit of tongue. When he drew back, her eyes were a clear, luminous blue. He ran a knuckle along the side of her check, loving the soft, downy texture of her skin. “Okay,” he said gently. “I’m gonna play really dirty here and ask you to try it for me.”

“Jiimm….”

“And I’m gonna make it even more difficult by insistin’ we play with D/s rules in place.” The tears started to well then, so he placed light teasing kisses all over her face until she gave him a half-hearted smile. “We’ll take this step-by-step. First, let’s say you’re yellow word is ‘melon’, all right?” When she nodded, he added, “Next, all I want to do is try to pleasure you with my fingers as I did with you on my lap at the club.”

“That’s all?” she asked, her eyes wide with uncertainty.

“To start with, yes. If I think you’re doin’ okay after that, we’ll go on. If you’re still unsure and actin’ edgy about it, we’ll stop and try again another night.”

Releasing a reluctant sigh, she asked, “What are you going to want me to do?”

“Turn and face the other direction and let me position you so you’re comfortable. I’m gonna get some stuff, then start with a back massage until I’m sure you’re fully relaxed.”

“Argh!” she groaned, but rolled over and faced away from him.

“Good girl. Now the position I want you in is similar to the position I put you in for the enema.”

“This isn’t helping, Jim,” she pointed out with a trace of asperity.

He brought his hand down on her rump as a light reproof, which caused her to jerk and look back at him in question. “D/s rules are in place. Sir only, for now.”

“Grrr.”

“Growling is not permitted either, so you get a swat for that one, too.” He gave her another light one. She’d feel the sting, but not sharp enough to bring her to tears.

“Unfair!” she complained, kicking her feet in protest.

“Kelly, this can go on all night. Now what should your response to me be?”

“Yes, Sir,” she replied begrudgingly.

“Very good. Now, right knee up to your chest, left leg extended and roll a little bit more on your tummy. Excellent. Keep breathin’ in and out with deep relaxin’ breaths and I’ll be right back.”

She did as he asked and was continuing to breathe with her eyes closed when he returned to the bed and sat behind her. He poured some body lotion on his palm and smoothed it over her back. She gave a soft little moan. “That’s it, darlin’. Relax and continue with your breathin’. You’re doin’ great.”

He continued with the massage for fifteen minutes until her muscles smoothed beneath his fingers. Then he slipped a glove on and put a lot of lube on his middle finger. He would have prepared her without the glove, but then he’d have to stop and wash his hands before he could comfort her, if she needed it, and he didn’t want to take the risk. The glove permitted a quick and easy clean up without him having to leave the bed.

“That’s my girl,” he urged running his thumb along the crease in her buttocks. She remained calm and relaxed. “Perfect.” He gently separated the two globes for entry and she tensed.

“Easy, now. Merely a little outside pettin’ is all,” he assured her, lightly rubbing around her pucker hole and only dipping in his middle finger every third revolution or so. Once he felt her relax again, he started pushing in a bit deeper. This time her head came up.

“Sir?”

“Yes, darlin’? I’m not hurtin’ you am I?”

“No, Sir, but–”

“Kelly,” he said, cutting her off. “Put your head down and relax. I’m gonna ease in and out a bit. Nothin’ more than that.” But her head remained up and her back tense. He rubbed her buttocks with one hand and eased in and out with the other until he heard her give a soft moan that was more pleasure than pain. “How’re you doin’?”

“I’m not sure, Sir. I think–”

“Thinkin’ ain’t gonna help you through this, darlin’. I need you to clear your mind and feel.” He withdrew, then added lube to his index finger before he pushed both fingers into her. She moaned again, this time he suspected he was stretching her scars a bit and it was uncomfortable. “Talk to me, Kelly,” he urged. “I don’t think I’m really hurtin’ you, but I wanna be certain.”

“That hurts a little, Sir. Your fingers aren’t exactly small.”

“No, they’re not,” he agreed, pressing a bit harder and deeper now. She stiffened and gave another moan.

“Could we go back to one finger, Sir?” she asked, her body still tense with discomfort, despite his slow, gentle movements.

“Not yet,” he replied. Not willing to go backwards, but not wanting to hurt her either, he stopped moving his fingers for a moment. “Take a deep breath for me, Kelly.” When she obeyed, he said, “Good. Now, another.” She took another breath, then he felt her relax a little. “That’s my girl. So, what I’m doin’ now isn’t even uncomfortable for you, is it?”

“No, Sir. I feel full, but not in pain,” she admitted somewhat reluctantly.

“Good.” He pushed his two fingers in a little deeper, then paused when her spine stiffened. She drew air between her teeth and slowly relaxed again .

“You’re doin’ exactly what I want, darlin’. I’m very proud of you right now.”

“Thank you, Sir,” she murmured. He withdrew a little and her body relaxed again. “You’re real tight back here, Kelly girl. And it makes me hornier than a sex-deprived teenager to imagine myself inside you right now.” Hearing her giggle, he pushed in again and received a moan for his efforts that he suspected was only partially due to discomfort, so he withdrew again and bent over to whisper directly into her ear. “You do know how much I like bein’ inside you, don’t you?” At her tentative nod, he slowly inserted both fingers again. “You’re warm, sweet and soft everywhere you should be. You’re like a decadent dessert I just can’t get enough of. No matter what, I always want more.” At that he felt her sphincter clamp down on his fingers, and he smiled. This time when he withdrew, he pushed his fingers back in a little harder, deeper and faster. The moan he received in return was accompanied with a counter surge of her hips against his fingers. “That’s perfect, darlin’. I’ve got you, so continue on right like that.”