A Family for Christmas (12 page)

“It’s
okay.” He leaned over and brushed a kiss against her lips. “Thank you. For
making such an effort with her.”

“It’s
fine,” Lydia said, flushing with pleasure. “I want to. I lo—”

“You
what?” he asked, almost urgently, when she broke off her instinctive word.

“I…I
don’t know. I was uncomfortable with her at first but now…now I kind of love
her.” Admitting such a thing was more embarrassing than she could remember
feeling. But she realized it was true. It was growing, but it was true.

Gabe
made a rough sound in his throat and pulled her into a hard hug. Lydia clung to
him, feeling closer to him than she could ever remember feeling to anyone
except her family.

She
was reveling in the feeling when Gabe abruptly pulled away. He wasn’t looking
in her eyes, and he seemed strangely stiff for no reason that made any sense.
“What kind of tie was she looking for?”

“One
with something on it she wanted special for you.” Lydia wasn’t about to break
the girl’s confidence. “I found one online that would be perfect, but she was
upset that she couldn’t find it in the store. We looked in every single store,
and then I called up all the others in the county.” She shook her head,
thinking about how hard she’d tried to find the tie for Ellie.

They
found striped ties and checked ties and polka dotted ties and tacky Christmas
ties, and ties with golf clubs and race cars and fishing poles on them. But no
books.

“Okay.
I’ll go talk to her.”

“Be
gentle. She’s having a really hard time.” Lydia felt strangely like she’d lost
something. He seemed changed since they’d been hugging just a moment before,
and she didn’t know why.

“She
still needs to be behave.”

“I
know.”

“Actually,
why don’t you come up too?”

Lydia
blinked, since it had always been understood that any disciplining or
decision-making regarding Ellie would be done by Gabe. “What? Why?”

“To
help.” He looked strangely awkward, and he glanced over his shoulder toward the
stairs. “I think you should be part of it too.”

So
no good reason, Lydia’s heart began to race almost painfully. “You want me to…”

“I
think we should do it together.”

She
had no idea how she was feeling or why she was feeling anything so intense to
such a minor incident, but she was having trouble taking a full breath. “Okay.
I’ll be up in just a minute.”

She
wasn’t actually sure whether she’d be up or not. She was irrationally
terrified.

Gabe
was already heading up the stairs, so there was no sense in staring up at his
strong back and fine ass.

She
wondered how hard it had been for him all these years to raise Ellie all on his
own.

She
did want to help him. She wanted to be part of both Gabe’s and Ellie’s lives.
She wanted to be part of his family. She wanted it so much it ached in her
chest.

But
going upstairs right now to work through things with Ellie—like a family, as a
family—would mean that everything would change.

It
would mean that this marriage was a lot more than a means to the end she
wanted.

She
went to the bathroom and got some water from the kitchen. Then she called her
mom to kill some time. She didn’t tell her mother about what happened, but her
mom obviously realized something was wrong.

When
Lydia left one too many comments unanswered, her mother asked softly, “What’s
wrong, honey?”

“I…really
don’t know.”

“You
sound upset.”

“I’m
not. Not really. I’m just…” Lydia really had no idea what she was.

After
a moment, her mom replied, “Well, whatever it is, I know you’ll face it
head-on. You’ve always been the bravest person I know.”

Lydia
made a choked sound of appreciation. “Thanks, Mom. I’ve got to go, but I’ll
talk to you tomorrow.”

After
they said goodbye, Lydia grabbed the shopping bags and hauled them upstairs,
putting some of the stuff in her room before heading up to the third floor to
Ellie’s garret room.

She
should have come up with him from the beginning. She wanted to make sure the
girl was okay. And Gabe was okay too.

She
listened briefly at the door before she tapped on it. When Ellie called out to
come in, Lydia brought the bags with Ellie’s books and clothes into the room.
“I’m just bringing up your stuff. Is everything okay?”

Ellie
and Gabe were propped up against the headboard, Gabe’s arm around the girl.
Ellie had obviously been crying but she wasn’t now. “Yeah, everything’s okay.”

Lydia
darted her eyes over to Gabe, who gave a little nod. So Lydia smiled as she
draped the red velvet Christmas dress over the chair and then came over to the
bed.

“I’m
sorry I was mean to you,” Ellie said, as Lydia sat down on the edge of the bed.

“Thank
you. I know it was upsetting.”

“I
didn’t mean to make you feel like I didn’t appreciate you.”

Those
words sounded like Gabe, but they seemed sincere enough coming from the girl
with her earnest blue eyes.

Lydia
nodded, touched by the sentiment. “I thought we had a good time, until the
end.”

“We
did. Thank you for taking me.”

“You’re
welcome. I’m glad we were able to go. And did you want me to order...” Instead
of finishing the sentence, Lydia gestured down toward her phone.

Ellie
nodded soberly. “Yes, please.”

Lydia
exhaled in relief and Gabe leaned down to press a kiss into Ellie’s hair.

She
wasn’t really great at this—at kids or marriage or anything—but Lydia decided
she was doing all right.

***

They ordered pizza for
dinner, and they ate it in the living room as they watched two Christmas movies
in a row—one animated and one old classic musical.

Ellie
started on the floor, while Gabe and Lydia sat on the couch. By the time the
second movie started, however, all three of them were on the couch, Lydia
leaning against Gabe on one side and Ellie leaning against him on the other.

Gabe
seemed perfectly comfortable, so Lydia couldn’t quite bring herself to pull
away, even though she felt a brief nervousness churning in her gut when she
realized she was enjoying the evening a lot.

A
lot.

And
this wasn’t going to last. Everything would change when she got to India.

She
drowned out that thought and relaxed instead.

Ellie
was asleep at the end of the second movie, and Gabe was gently stroking Lydia’s
hair. It felt tender, like he cared for her, like he wanted to protect her. It
just intensified the soft feelings that were starting to overwhelm her.

When
the movie ended, Lydia straightened up a little so she could look at him. They
stared at each other for a minute, their faces only two inches apart.

Then
she saw his face change, and she knew he was going to kiss her in the moment
before he did.

The
kiss wasn’t passionate or particularly urgent, but it was lingering. It didn’t
end right away. She leaned into him as their lips brushed against each other,
his tongue gently slipping out to stroke the insides of her lips.

“Baby,”
he murmured.

“Hmm.”
She didn’t pull away. In fact, she reached up to tangle her fingers in his
thick hair. He’d never called her that before, but it felt natural, made her
feel even softer.

“Are
you okay with everything?”

Her
head was spinning a little with feeling, so she couldn’t quite follow the
question. “Hmm?”

He
leaned forward to kiss her again, one hand cupping her face. “Are you okay with
how things are? Between us?” He was speaking very softly, although Ellie was
sound asleep.

“Of
course.” She was so surprised that she pulled back a little. “Why wouldn’t I
be?”

“I
don’t know. I just wanted to make sure.”

“I’m
good.” She met his gaze, trying to read how he was feeling in the heavy-lidded
blue eyes. “Aren’t you?”

“Yeah.
Yeah, of course. But I still think this marriage might be giving me more than
it does you.”

“No.”
She shook her head, realizing what he was worried about. “It’s been good for
me. Really good.”

He
smiled, and he was still smiling when he kissed her again.

Lydia
was feeling more emotional than aroused, but the feelings were just as
powerful. She’d never known she was capable of feeling this way. And it
thrilled her and terrified her both.

They
were still kissing when Ellie shifted on the couch, reminding them that they
weren’t alone. “Daddy.”

“I’m
here, sweetheart. You better get to bed.”

Ellie
roused herself enough to get up, and Gabe gestured to Lydia in a silent request
to come up with them to put Ellie to bed. She’d never done that before, but she
didn’t hesitate. They both went up to say prayers with Ellie and kiss her
goodnight.

When
they came down, Lydia felt too full and a little self-conscious, so she picked
up the pizza boxes and water bottles and straightened up the kitchen a little
while Gabe went to return a call.

She
went to her bedroom and decided that, since it had been a long day, she would
feel better if she took a shower.

She
was definitely going to be visiting Gabe’s bedroom. Soon.

After
she got out of the shower, she was wishing she had something sexy to wear. She
didn’t have anything sexy in her entire wardrobe. She had some pretty
underwear, but all of her sleepwear was bought for comfort.

She
pulled on a pair of panties and a pale blue tank top, searching her drawer for
something other than the flannel pants she normally slept in.

Made
a miracle would occur and something sexy would materialize that she’d forgotten
about.

No
such luck.

She
jerked in surprise when she heard a knock on her door. She froze for a moment,
processing the fact that the only person it could be was Gabe.

“Lydia?”
his low voice came from outside the door.

She
ran over and opened it. “Hi,” she said, taking in the fact that he wore his
normal sleepwear of pajama pants and t-shirt.

He
gave her a little smile. “Hi.”

She
stared at him, feeling a wash of pleasure that he obviously wanted her so much
tonight that he’d broken his habit of waiting for her to initiate.

“Can
I come in?” he asked, glancing down and then back up again. “Or you could come
to my room, if you’d rather.”

“You
can come in.” She stepped out of the way, telling herself to get a grip and not
be so ridiculously happy about such a little thing.

He
looked slightly self-conscious and evidently misread her silence. ‘You said I
could initiate. But if you don’t feel like it, then that’s totally f—”

“No,”
she interrupted. “I do feel like it. I was planning to come to your room, but I
wanted to take a shower first.”

She
looked down at herself, realizing she still just wore her tank and underwear.
He’d obviously seen her without clothes before, but it felt different in her
own bedroom, with the lights on.

He
was looking at her body too.

“I
was trying to find pajamas,” she explained, gesturing toward the opened drawer
with a couple of pants hanging over.

“I
really don’t think you need to bother.” His voice was huskier than normal.

She
laughed and gestured toward the bed. “I might get cold tonight if I don’t have
pants to put on. But you can get in bed. Unless you’d prefer your room.”

“Doesn’t
matter to me.”

She
went to grab a pair of flannel pants and matching top from the drawer, to put
on if she got cold later. Then she headed toward her bed, where Gabe was
pulling down the covers and stretching out.

He
looked as handsome and masculine as ever, but he also looked kind of rumpled,
kind of tired. Human in a way that somehow surprised her.

This
incredible man, lying on her bed. Still just a regular person.

And
her husband.

“What?”
he asked, evidently seeing something in her expression.

“Nothing.”
Her eyes darted down unconsciously, and she noticed something. “Are you turned
on already?” she asked, genuinely surprised.

He
frowned at her haughtily. “Is that a problem?”

“No.
It just seemed fast.”

“Well,
you’re the one standing there, wearing almost nothing. What would you expect?”

She
glanced down at herself. While nothing looked particularly special about her
body—just her normal long legs, toned muscles, decent but not terribly
impressive breasts. But she suddenly realized that he really liked how she
looked.