A Family to Be (Saddle Falls) (8 page)

She shook her head. The former principal of the Saddle Falls High School had always been a cranky curmudgeon. “How can that man still be such a crab? He was a crab when we were kids, and he’s even worse now.”

“Hey, at least he’s good at
something,
” Josh murmured, still staring at the glorious skin on her neck.

He fought the urge to press his lips there, to see if the skin was as soft, as silky as it looked. “So, you think you’re going to be able to handle things?” he asked, struggling to get his thoughts under control.

“Yep,” she said confidently, letting out another soft moan when Josh’s thumbs pressed on a particularly sore spot. “Definitely,” she added more firmly, hoping he’d finally drop the idea of talking her into selling the diner.

“Em?”

“Hmm?” Eyes closed, she all but swayed against him. He was successfully rubbing all the day’s kinks and cramps from her throbbing aching muscles.

“I’m sorry about the past week.”

“Which part?” she asked with a laugh.

“Well, all of it, I guess.”

She turned to him, her gaze soft. “Well, you’re forgiven, Josh. But let’s make a deal. I promise that if I need any help or if I’m not able to handle something, you’ll be the first to know.”

“And what’s my part of the deal?” he asked suspiciously.

“You promise to try not to worry. To try to remember that I’m not twelve any longer, and if I need something or want something I’m old enough and smart enough to ask for help.”

He thought about it for a moment. “Deal,” he said, extending his hand.

She shook it, relieved. “Thanks, Josh.” He continued to hold her hand, his skin soft, warm and comforting.

He glanced at his watch. “You’ve got just enough time to soak in a tub before the pizza gets here.”

“A hot bath
and
a pizza?” She grinned, then let him help her to her feet and lead her down the hallway toward the master bedroom. Her hand fit perfectly in his, she realized. And it felt so comfortable, so natural. She caught a hint of something sweet and floral, then stopped, turning to him. “What is that heavenly smell?”

“Bubble bath,” he said. He shifted his weight uncomfortably. “I—I remembered how you used to dream about taking long, luxurious bubble baths. So I stopped and picked some up some bubble bath for you on my way here. Martha Powers says this stuff has all the emollients your skin needs to keep it soft, especially during pregnancy.” Looking into those gorgeous eyes of hers, he wasn’t going to think about how soft her skin already was. And whether or not she was that soft all over. “And…and…” He was losing his train of thought, looking into her beautiful eyes.

“And…?” she asked with a lift of her brow, wondering why he was tongue-tied. Josh had never been shy or tongue-tied, at least not that she could ever remember.

Struggling to get back the thread of conversation, Josh averted his gaze to somewhere over her head. “And, she said that it has something in it to ease sore, aching muscles.”

“So it’s a miracle cure, is that what you’re telling me?” Em laughed, touched beyond measure by his thoughtfulness and his kindness. “Is Martha still working at the pharmacy?”

“Yep. She’s going to be there until they wheel her out,” he said with a laugh, not adding that Martha had also asked him a gazillion questions about just who he was buying expensive bubble bath for. It would probably be all over town by morning.

“A massage, a pizza, and a bubble bath.” Em shook her head, not wanting to tell Josh that these small things were absolute indulgent luxuries after the past few months.

As was having someone care about her and be concerned about her and her unborn child. Feeling touched, and more than a bit weepy, Em cursed her hormones. They were obviously acting up again.

Em sighed, banking down the sudden longing that tapped at her lonely heart. There was a time when Josh’s attention would have warmed her scarred heart.

Now, it only frightened her because as much as she could tell herself Josh was just a friend, and only a friend, Em knew that what she told herself and controlling her emotions just might be too separate and distinct things.

Which was why she was suddenly so off balance and yes…frightened. But it was a different kind of fear than she’d faced these past few months when she’d been all alone and so terribly frightened.

Josh’s kindness, his caring made her feel far too vulnerable right now. The past few months had left her so emotionally shaky, she wasn’t certain she was even thinking clearly. All she knew—all she’d ever known—was that no matter what, she had to protect her baby.

And the only way she could do that was to make certain she never put her heart at risk again.

Not ever.

She couldn’t allow her own emotions to blind her to reality. She’d done it once, and never wanted to go through that kind of devastation and pain again.

She knew Josh cared about her…as a friend. And only a friend, she told herself. He’d never, ever given her any indication he’d felt otherwise, and so for her to even be thinking about anything more was both ridiculous and dangerous.

“Thanks, Josh.” She leaned on tiptoe and kissed his cheek again, then drew back slowly, his masculine scent so enticing it almost made her dizzy. She had an unbearable urge to just bury her face in his neck, to inhale that wonderful scent she’d always associated with Josh. Only with Josh. There was a comfort and security with him, perhaps because they knew each other so well, perhaps because she also knew he’d never hurt her.

“But if you keep this up, Josh, I’m going to get spoiled.”

“Spoiled?” he repeated softly, reaching out to brush a strand of hair off her cheek, wanting—needing—to touch her. Just to assure himself she really was all right, he told himself. Pleased that he’d pleased her, he grinned. “Well, Em, I guess that’s what friends are for.”

J
anuary and February’s chill gave way to a mid-March that began to hint at spring. But by the end of March all hints of spring had vanished as summer temperatures bore down on the spring buds with wicked abandon, soaring the temperatures to close to ninety degrees during the day, with barely a cooldown at night, announcing the arrival of an early summer.

In spite of separate air-conditioning units that cranked almost night and day, Doc Haggerty’s small medical office, located two doors down from the diner, was uncomfortably warm on this Saturday afternoon.

The waiting room was elbow to elbow with women in various stages of pregnancy all trying to find some relief from the heat. Apparently Saturday was expectant mother day, Josh thought, feeling a bit out of place.

Dressed in paint-splattered cutoffs and a torn T-shirt, Josh took one look at the assembled group and opted to pace the length of the reception area as he waited for Em. He felt ridiculous in his size fourteen tennis shoes pacing a path in a pastel-pink carpet that was decorated with tiny little baby booties and bottles.

“Joshua?” Hazel, Doc Haggerty’s nurse glared at him over the top of her reading spectacles as he paced in front of her desk. Again.

“Yes, ma’am?”

“If you pace a hole in that carpet, I’m going to send your granddaddy the bill.’

He smothered a grin. Hazel had been with Doc Haggerty as long as anyone could remember. And since Doc Haggerty had delivered Josh and all of his brothers, he figured Hazel was old enough to speak her mind.

“Yes, ma’am.” He hesitated, then leaned toward her. “But what the blazes is taking so long?” Josh glanced at his watch, then commented, “Em’s been in there almost an hour.”

“Babies take time, Joshua.”

“But she’s not having the baby now—” He broke off, his face drained of color and he stepped closer to Hazel’s desk. “Is she?” His heart had jumped into double time and he could feel sweat dampen his palms.

“No, Joshua, I reckon she’s not or one of us might have heard something about it by now.” Hazel consulted a small card with Em’s vital information on it. Josh tried to peek at the information on it and only earned another scowl from Hazel. “Let’s see now, according to this, I imagine Em won’t be having that baby for about six more weeks give or take a day or two.”

“So then why has she been in there so long?” he asked, slipping his damp hands in his jeans pockets because he didn’t know what else to do with them.

“Josh?” Smiling, Doc Haggerty stood in the open doorway of one of the examining rooms down the hall. “Can you come in here a moment?”

Josh didn’t wait to be asked twice. He bolted around Hazel’s desk and down the hallway. “What’s wrong, Doc? What’s taking so long? How’s Em?”

Laughing, Doc Haggerty patted him on the back. “Josh, if you don’t calm down before Em has this baby I’m going to have to put you on tranquilizers.” He stopped Josh with a soft hand to his arm. “Josh, listen to me. Em’s fine. Perfectly fine. She’s a normal, healthy woman in the prime of her life, and I expect she’s going to have a perfectly normal, uneventful pregnancy.” Doc Haggerty’s bushy brows drew slightly together and his hazel eyes twinkled. “But you’ve got to calm down, son. Between you and your brothers, Jake and Jared, I’m not certain who’s worse.” Both Jake and Jared’s wives were also patients of Doc Haggerty’s. “All this worrying is not good for you, Josh,” the doc continued, “nor is it good for Em to see you like this. It might make her worry, and we wouldn’t want that, would we?”

Flustered at the mere thought that he could be causing Em more stress made Josh realize he had to get a grip on himself. “It’s…just…I’ve never—”

“Yes, I know,” Doc Haggerty said with a laugh, pushing the examining room door wider. Josh could see Em lying on the table, a white sheet draped over her. “Like I told your brothers, the first time is the worst time, Josh. After this, childbirth will be a breeze. And it could be worse,” the doctor whispered. “Em could be the one having twins.”

Josh paled at the mere thought, wondering how on earth Jared and his wife were going to handle another set of twins. Before marrying Natalie, Jared had adopted a set of twin boys, Timmy and Terry, and although Josh adored them, he had to admit they were more than a handful.

“Hi, Josh,” Em said, lifting her head and flashing him a huge grin. “Did Doc Haggerty tell you?”

“Tell me what?” he asked, stepping closer to her. Josh glanced around. He’d never been inside one of these examining rooms before and felt slightly out of place.

“I’m going to do an ultrasound of the baby, Josh.” Doc Haggerty sat on a small stool next to Em. “Em thought you’d like to see it.”

“An ultrasound?” Josh repeated with a bit of a frown.

“It’s a picture of the baby, Josh. In the womb.”

“You’re kidding?” His gaze went from the doc’s to Em’s to the machine that was now flashing a static picture like a black-and-white television out of focus.

“Nope. Not kidding at all, Josh. Just watch the monitor.” Doc Haggerty pointed. “See that moving image there, the one that looks like it’s throbbing?”

Frowning, Josh narrowed his gaze and stared harder. “Yeah, I see it.”

“Oh, Josh,” Em’s voice was soft and dreamy as she reached for Josh’s hand and clung to it. “That’s Baby Cakes.”

Josh’s stunned gaze went from the monitor to Em’s face, which shone with joy, back to the monitor again. “That’s…that’s…really the baby, Doc?” he asked, his voice full of awe.

“Yep, it is, Josh.” Doc Haggerty laughed then pointed at the screen with his finger. “That’s the head, Josh, and here, see these two long things that look like twigs? That’s the baby’s legs.” Doc Haggerty scooted his stool closer. “And from the looks of it, Em, Baby Cakes, is going to be a big one.” Doc Haggerty grinned. “I’m going to take a picture for you and Josh, Em. That way you can look at it all you want.”

Josh couldn’t stop staring at the image in the monitor. Although blurry and a bit out of focus, he could just make out the outline of a baby.

Em’s baby.

“Oh, Em,” he said, nearly overcome with emotion. He’d never imagined, never thought until this moment about Baby Cakes being a real living human being. Oh, he knew it on a conscious level, but it was always some kind of abstract thing, off in the distance, until this very moment. Before Baby Cakes had not been a
real
person to him. But now…now…Josh shook his head, unable to comprehend the absolute enormity of the miracle before him.

“Isn’t she beautiful?” Em said with a sniffle, clinging to Josh’s hand.

“Absolutely beautiful,” Josh agreed softly, lifting Em’s hands to his lips for a kiss. He couldn’t stop staring at the image. It was so hard to believe that it was an actual picture of Baby Cakes, right at this moment, in Em’s womb. The reality hit Josh like a sledgehammer and he glanced down at Em. “She’s as beautiful as her mother,” Josh said quietly, letting his gaze meet Em’s.

Something quiet and strong passed between them, simmered in the air for a moment, and then they clung to one another’s hands and smiled.

“It’s something, isn’t it?” Doc Haggerty asked, turning to Josh.

“It’s…” Josh paused, then shook his head. “I’ve never imagined anything like it. Never felt anything like it.”

“It really hits home, the miracle of life, of birth,” the doc said. “It’s the most miraculous experience two people can ever go through together,” he said softly. “Bringing a new life safely into this world.’

In spite of his joy, Josh felt an unaccountable stab of pain, thinking of another child, another baby who hadn’t been so fortunate. The ache in his heart was so strong, so sharp, it felt as if someone had wedged a rusty knife there.

“Josh?” Em’s voice was hushed and whisper soft. “Thank you for going through this with me.” She had to swallow back the lump in her throat. Her heart was filled with so much emotion, so many feelings for the baby, for Josh. “Thank you for being here for me and Baby Cakes.” Her smile was tremulous. “I can’t think of anyone else I’d rather be sharing this with.”

“Josh?” Doc Haggerty said.

“W-what?” He dragged his gaze reluctantly from Em’s. “I’m sorry, Doc, I didn’t hear you.”

“Would you like to listen to the baby’s heartbeat?”

Josh grinned, then glanced at Em. “Is it okay?”

She nodded, still holding on to his hand. “Oh, Josh, wait until you hear it. After seeing the picture and now—now actually hearing her little heartbeat…” Em’s eyes swelled with tears again and she smiled at him, so grateful he was here to share this with her. She couldn’t imagine having to do this alone, couldn’t imagine how Jack could willingly walk away from this miracle they’d created. It was his loss, she thought firmly. His loss indeed.

“Hear, Josh, listen through the stethoscope.” Doc Haggerty removed the instrument from around his neck, and place one rubberized end on Em’s belly, the other ends he handed to Josh to place in his ears. Josh concentrated, then he heard it, the faint thump-thumping sound.

“I can hear it,” he said with a grin. “I can hear her heart beating.” He closed his eyes for a moment, just listening to the little life beating and growing inside of Em. It had been so hard to imagine, but now, seeing Baby Cakes’s picture, hearing her heartbeat, she had suddenly become very real to him.

“Isn’t it incredible?” Em asked, as Josh frowned. “What’s wrong?” She gripped his hand harder.

“I don’t know,” Josh admitted, handing the stethoscope back to Doc Haggerty. “It sounds…different now.”

Doc Haggerty listened for a moment, then grinned. “Hiccups,” he said.

“Hiccups?” Both Em and Josh caroled in unison.

Doc Haggerty nodded, then chuckled. “The baby has the hiccups.” He slung the stethoscope back around his neck and reached for Josh’s hand, placing it on Em’s belly. “Here, Josh, you can feel them.”

Josh held his hand perfectly still, terrified of hurting Em or the baby and then he felt it, a slight blip in Em’s belly. he couldn’t help it, he laughed. “There it goes again.” He glanced down at Em. “She’s really got the hiccups.” Instinctively, he gently began to rub Em’s belly in a slow, soothing motion. “Easy, Baby Cakes,” he whispered, causing Em and Doc Haggerty to exchange glances. “Everything’s fine, sweetheart,” Josh cooed, continuing to rub Em’s belly. He glanced up suddenly. “It stopped.”

Doc Haggerty nodded. “I’m not surprised. Babies are very sensitive, even in the womb. Although clinical research hasn’t totally proven it, we believe that babies can sense stress, discomfort and all kinds of things the mother goes through. In addition, it’s a known fact that if the baby’s restless or has the hiccups, then soothing tones or soft music will calm her.”

Josh shook his head. “That is unbelievable.”

“Most things about the birth process are,” Doc Haggerty admitted, extending a hand to help Em sit up. “The further along you get, Em, the more things you’re going to be aware of. Pretty soon you’ll start feeling the baby kick, particularly considering her size,” he added. “I imagine she’s going to get a bit cranky being cramped in there. Now, I’m pleased with your weight and blood pressure, Em, but I have to admit I am a bit worried about how big the baby is already.”

“Is that a problem?” Josh asked.

“Well, not a problem, per se, Josh, but I’ll want to keep an eye on Em as she gets closer to delivery. If I think the baby’s too big, we may have to do a C-section.”

Josh’s eyes widened in alarm, but then he remembered what Doc Haggerty had said about not alarming Em. “A C-section?” he asked, knowing only it wasn’t a normal delivery.

The doctor nodded. “It’s a perfectly normal delivery procedure, Josh. It’s a lot less stressful on the baby and the mother when size is a factor in delivery.”

“Is it…safe?” Josh asked worriedly, making the doctor smile.

“Very,” he admitted.

“And…uh…have you done one of these before?” Josh wondered.

Trying to bank a smile, Doc Haggerty scratched his brow. “Well, Josh, I imagine in my thirty years of delivering babies I’ve done one or two—thousand,” he added with a grin, noting the way Josh’s shoulders slumped in relief. “But it’s not something you should concern yourself with now. It’s an option we have to leave open considering how big the baby is already and Em’s relative size.” He patted Em’s hand, noting the worry in her eyes now. “We’ll keep an eye on it, Em, and we still have time yet. A lot can happen in the last two to two and a half months.”

Josh nodded. He’d try not to worry.

“Here, Josh, why don’t you hang on to this for Em while she gets dressed?” Doc Haggerty handed him the small black-and-white photo of the baby and Josh stared at it again, unable to stop grinning.

As he let himself out of the room to give Em some privacy, he gently ran his finger over the baby’s picture, his heart swelling with unbelievable emotion.

“Oh, Baby Cakes,” he whispered. “You have no idea how much your mommy loves you. Or how much she wants you.” He couldn’t stop staring at the picture, feeling unaccountably connected to the helpless baby who was totally dependent on Em for every beat of her heart.

He also felt an unbelievable swell of pride in Em for what she was doing; how she was handling herself and this pregnancy. With so many odds stacked against her, she’d never considered her own wants or needs, never considered what would be easiest on her. Instead, she always—always—put her baby’s welfare ahead of her own.

Josh shook his head, wondering again why Melanie had been unable to love him or their child enough to do the same. He sighed, unwilling to let his own bad memories spoil this precious moment.

“Well, Baby Cakes,” he said, walking back to the reception area with the picture cradled in his hand. “You are one lucky girl. And we’re going to take very good care of you, your mom and me. Promise.” He stopped in the hallway suddenly, wondering how and when it happened.

He wasn’t certain, but he knew without a doubt, in one fraction of a second, when he wasn’t looking, one adorable little baby had stolen his heart.

“Josh,” Em hissed, grabbing his arm and nearly dragging him away from the approaching salesclerk. “I
cannot
afford that crib or the bureau or anything else they’ve got in this nursery.” Tugging harder, she pulled him out of the decorated nursery room in the furniture warehouse.