A Father's Quest (5 page)

“Is she the custodial parent?”

“Temporarily. When we divorced, I agreed to joint custody because I thought that was in Birdie’s best interest. But Cheryl has some health issues and I wound up with Birdie ninety percent of the time. Which,” he quickly added, “was great. Everything was good until my National Guard unit was called up.”

He decided not to tell her the whole, convoluted tale of his failed marriage, instead, sticking to the current facts. “I transferred custody solely to Cheryl while I was out of the country.”

“Where did you say you were?”

“Iraq and Afghanistan. We got home six weeks ago. And from what I’ve been able to piece together, Cheryl got involved with a religious cult shortly before the holidays. The group calls themselves The GoodFriends of Christ, or GoodFriends, for short. They remained in the Memphis area for a month or so. Then right before school was set to resume, Cheryl hocked what she could, abandoned everything else in the apartment I paid a year’s rent in advance for and basically disappeared.”

“How did you find out?”

Her questions came like a practiced investigator’s.

“I’d made arrangements with friends to check on Birdie every few weeks. They’d stop by with food, toys, books—little things I’d left with them before I was deployed. When they realized Cheryl and Birdie were gone, they called the police.”

“When did you last hear from her?”

This was the part his buddy at the Memphis P.D. found the hardest to get his head around. “Cheryl has been emailing me, off and on. Twice she agreed to meet me and bring Birdie but never showed up. Three weeks ago, she let me talk to Birdie using Skype.”

“And Birdie was okay?”

He knew his daughter, and even though he hadn’t seen Birdie for several months, he recognized the signs of stress—and fear. “She seemed healthy enough but quiet. Reserved. Like she was afraid to say anything. She’s smart and very sensitive to her mother’s problems. She’s always tried to take care of her mom, which is nice, but a kid should be a kid, right?”

She didn’t answer. He didn’t expect her to.

“Wasn’t your wife supposed to clear any move with you before she took your child to another state?”

“Yes, but, you know what government agencies are like right now—overworked and understaffed. I have a family lawyer who has filed all the proper papers, but who’s going to invest the time and money to track down a mom when the kid isn’t in imminent danger?”

“What about school? It’s against the law to keep a child out of school, isn’t it?”

“Not if you fill out the paperwork to do homeschooling. But that’s actually the scariest part for me, because Cheryl was homeschooled. She hated it and blamed her parents for depriving her of what she felt was a normal upbringing. ‘Crazy hippies,’ she called them. I really question her state of mind if she’s putting Birdie through something she hated.”

“Do you have any idea where your daughter is?”

He hunched forward, weaving his fingers together.

He didn’t know why he was telling her all of this if she wasn’t prepared to help, although it actually felt good to have someone to talk to. “No. The homeschool form Cheryl filled out was filed with the State of Florida, but the address she gave was bogus. My friend who works with the Memphis P.D. ran a check on the GoodFriends. He said they haven’t held an official revival meeting for nearly two months.”

“They’ve disappeared?” Her eyes looked alarmed.

“Apparently. Do you see now why I need your help? Any lead would help point me in the right direction.”

She swallowed. “Or send you off to Timbuktu when they were actually camped right down the street.”

“Yeah, I heard you on the porch. You’re afraid of some kind of backlash. But the fact is I don’t have a lot of options at the moment. I’m not a sit-around-and-wait kind of guy. My dad used to say, ‘Do something, even if it’s wrong.’” He let out a harsh snort. “Ironic, huh? Given what he did with your mom.”

She crossed her legs and sat forward, her foot bouncing in a nervous habit. She used to call it sedentary pacing—a way to free up her subconscious thought process by distracting the rational, thinking part of her brain.

“Why are you so sure something is wrong? Maybe she lost her phone. Or the computer she was using died. Or they’re camping in a remote part of the state with no cell service.”

He shook his head. “If Cheryl was a normal person, maybe. But she’s been diagnosed with clinical depression. As long as she takes her pills, she can function pretty normally. But I checked with her doctor. Her prescription hasn’t been filled for two months. Yes, she might have gotten another scrip, but what if she isn’t taking her meds?

“Or, what if someone has convinced her to stop taking them? There’s no way of predicting what might happen. When she’s gone off her meds in the past, Cheryl usually landed on her feet—or, at least, under psychiatric care. But this time she has Birdie with her. Who’s going to protect my daughter?”

Remy chewed on her bottom lip. “Would Birdie know to call you?”

“If she had access to a phone, yes. Absolutely. I made her memorize my number before I left for Iraq. And every day that passes that I don’t hear from her makes me that much more worried.”

She seemed concerned, but not completely convinced that he wasn’t overreacting to the situation—exactly the way the FBI had treated him. “As a father, I know something’s wrong. I feel it in here,” he said, tapping the middle of his chest. “I can’t explain how or why. I honestly thought you’d be the one person who would understand.” He looked her straight in the eyes. “Remember when I asked you how you found me in the well? What did you say?”

“I don’t remember.”

“I do. You said you closed your eyes and dreamed me.”

“I don’t remember.”

A lie. He could see the truth in her eyes.

“You described the black roots that looked like witches’ hands trying to keep me down at the bottom. You said the walls were greasy and cold. And you said if they didn’t find me soon, I’d give up hope and die. And you were right. I was ready to give up.”

Her hands were folded in her lap, her knuckles white from gripping the material of her skirt.

“You found me when I was lost. Now I need your help again. Couldn’t you at least try?”

She jumped to her feet and thrust Birdie’s picture at him. “I don’t know.” She glanced around like a cornered animal, fearful and ready to bolt. “This morning I woke up, positive my life was going to be different from this point on. This is so not what I meant by different.”

She threw up her hands and stalked toward the staircase. “I have to think. You can wait. Or leave your number. Or talk to Jessie… I don’t know.”

Then she was gone.

Jonas ran a finger along his daughter’s photo. He felt drained and defeated, not yet to the point where he could chart a new course. Getting here had taken nearly all the energy he had.

He’d go to Shadybrook, he guessed. See his mother. Mom still had lucid moments. The last time they’d talked, she’d mentioned her good friend Marlene Bouchard as if the two had recently had lunch.

He knew Charlotte had remained close to Marlene over the years, apparently accepting the reason Jonas had given her for breaking up with Remy. “We’re too different,” he’d said on the plane to Paris.

His heart had been broken into a million pieces and he wasn’t sure he’d ever be whole again, but he’d played the part of the loving son for his mother’s sake. None of what his father did was her fault. Jonas had sworn to keep the truth about Dad and Marlene a secret. He’d never told another living soul, not even his wife.

Obviously, Remy had shared the information with Jessie. However, given the fact Marlene’s revelation affected Jessie, too, he could understand. Technically, both twins were his half sisters.

“You’re still here,” Jessie said from the doorway.

Jonas hadn’t heard her come in. He stood. “Just leaving.”

“Where’s Remy?”

He threw out his hands in the universal sign of “Who knows?”

“You upset her, didn’t you? Man, I knew this was going to happen. Do you have any idea how long she carried a torch for you, Jonas? She was mad at me for telling you that earlier, but it’s the truth. Every guy she’s ever dated has been a pathetic half-ass clone of you. It’s creepy and sad and she deserves more. I once bought a voodoo doll in Jackson Square and put your name on it. I did. I was desperate to do something to end her obsession with you.”

He laughed. He couldn’t help himself. “Frank as ever. I always liked that about you, Jessie.”

She limped to the chair he’d been sitting in. “I liked you, too, Jonas. And, honestly, I wouldn’t have even cared about the whole incest thing if you hadn’t been such a prick after Mom dropped the I-bomb on you and Rem. You disa-freaking-peared without so much as a by-your-leave, only to surface in the south of France. Do you have any idea how much that hurt my sister?”

“Hey, what happened was no picnic for me.”

She made a skeptical sound. “Rem and I went to the library. We saw pictures of where you were. Topless beaches. Beautiful women. Just the thing to appease a pissed-off teenage boy.”

And he’d done exactly what Jessie was accusing him of. He’d gotten drunk every night. Lost his virginity to some nameless older woman at a party where practically nobody spoke English. The perfect balm to finding out he’d come a heartbeat away from screwing his sister. Too bad he’d wound up hating himself almost as much as he hated his dead father.

“Ancient history. I have to go.”

She let him get two steps away before she said, “I agree. It is old news. And there’s no changing the past unless…”

He looked over his shoulder. “Unless what?”

“Unless the past was a lie.”

She’d hinted at this earlier.

“You still want me to take a DNA test.”

“Yes, I do. I would volunteer to do it, but I’m leaving as soon as that truck gets loaded. Cade and Shiloh are part of the reason I want to know. If we have another child, I think I’d like to know with absolute certainty who my father is. Was. You know what I mean.”

He did. “Why would your mother lie?”

She shrugged. “Because it was Tuesday. Or the sky was blue. Who knows?” She looked toward the stairs and lowered her voice. “Remy still has feelings for you, Jonas. I saw it in her face the moment she spotted you. Can you tell me you’ve never thought about her over the years?”

Jonas felt his face heat up. He wished he could deny the charge, but he wasn’t a liar. He’d made love with Remy a million times…in his dreams. He wanted to forget her, but he’d never been successful in completely exorcising her memory from his mind. Or his love for her from his heart.

“This isn’t about me, Jessie. It’s not about Remy, either. I need to find my daughter.”

Jessie sighed. “I don’t know if Remy can help you, but I do know she’ll want to try. And that probably means you two will wind up spending some time together.”

He got what she was saying.

“I think it’s a simple test.” She put her finger inside her cheek and made a popping sound. “Fast.”

She was right. The truth was important, not only to him and Remy and Jessie but to future generations. Like Birdie. “Okay. I’ll do it.”

She pulled a cell phone out of her pocket. “I spotted a sign across from the rental place yesterday. I’ll find the number and see if they’re open on Saturday.”

She was busy poking away at her phone when Jonas sensed another presence in the room. Remy stood at the foot of the stairs. She had a bemused smile on her face. “Jessie got her way, huh?”

“No surprise there, right?” Jonas said lightly, recalling how shocked he’d been when he returned from Europe and learned that Jessie and Remy had moved to Nashville. He’d known that was Jessie’s dream, but Remy had adamantly refused to join her sister. He and Remy had their whole future mapped out. They’d planned to move into the city, attend Tulane and share an apartment when they could afford it. But, of course, that didn’t happen. Couldn’t happen.

Or could it have been a choice they were robbed of? “I’ve agreed to get tested. Will you do it, too?”

“Yes. Science. I trust science.”

An odd response, but he was pretty sure he understood what she meant. She was tired of taking someone else’s word for anything and relying on information that couldn’t be proved.

He walked to her. “Jessie told me how upset you were because I went to Europe with Mom.”

She shrugged. “My feelings were hurt. After Mama told us about having an affair with your daddy, I cried for a couple of days and called your house a million times. Finally, Jessie went over and knocked on the door. A cleaning lady told her you and your mother were traveling around the world.”

“Not the whole world. We flew to Paris. Took a train to Italy. Rented a little dinky place on the Mediterranean. Mom called it her last-ditch effort to have me all to herself before I went off to college. She’d been planning it for a year. A surprise graduation gift. After what your mother told us, I would have gone to the moon if someone had handed me a free ticket.”