A Field of Poppies (17 page)

Truman Epperson was on duty, and got up from the desk.

“
Mr. Caulfield. How can I be of service?”

“
I’ve come to pay my respects to Jessup Sadler’s wife. He was one of my employees and I was given to understand that she had passed.”

“
Helen Sadler. Yes, yes, right this way,” Truman said, and then moved toward a viewing room at the end of the central lounge.

Once they reached the doorway, everything began happening in slow motion. Justin saw Truman’s mouth moving, but he could no longer hear what he was saying. When Truman paused and gestured to his left, Justin saw the guestbook and signed his name without thought, then entered. The room was empty of mourners, with only a couple of green plants and one basket of flowers to mark her presence.

Justin kept walking all the way up to the casket before he would allow himself to look inside. Once he did, the knot in his gut turned into a full-blown ache.

Sunny.

He’d been through this once with Deborah, now Sunny was dead, too?

He’d never thought of Sunny Roberts as growing older. In the back of his mind she’d always stayed the same pretty, happy girl who liked hot fudge sundaes and making love in the rain. It was shocking to see what the cancer had done to her body. Even though the dress she was wearing was pretty enough, it was evident that she was skin and bones beneath. When he saw the ring on her finger, it served to remind him it was his own damn fault she’d been another man’s wife.

But he hadn’t come just to walk away. Not until he said what he needed to say, but discreetly, of course. She’d kept their secret all these years. The last thing he needed was for someone to overhear him and soil her memory.

He reached inside the casket, hesitating but a moment before he cupped her hand. Even though it was cold and stiff, a part of him remembered how eagerly she would have returned the caress.

“
Sunny, I’m sorry. You don’t know how many times in the past twenty years that I wished I’d made a different choice. I never expected you to forgive me. I never expected you to understand. I traded you for a birthright, and just between the two of us, it was a really bad deal.”

There was a lump in the back of his throat. Tears were burning to be shed, but not here.

“
Rest well, Sunny girl. If there’s such a thing as heaven, I hope to see you again.”

He touched her chin, traced the curve of her cheek, then walked out of the room.

“
Goodnight, Mr. Caulfield,” Truman said.

Justin nodded and kept on moving – all the way down the sidewalk, then into his car. He started the engine, backed away from the curb, then pulled over to the dark side of the parking lot and laid his head down on the steering wheel.

Tears came swiftly, but when he tried to draw breath, he choked. He moaned, then he raged, pounding the steering wheel until his hands were numb while the wind rose and the clouds rolled in.

By the time his grief was spent, it had begun to rain. He put the car into gear and drove away, once again putting distance between him and his Sunny girl. It occurred to him as he left the area that in a symbolic way, the rain was washing away the tracks of where he’d been. It was only fitting he hide this last visit, since their entire relationship had been a secret, as well.

Chapter Ten

“
Do you want some more fried chicken?” Poppy asked.

“
No, but I’ll help you clean up,” John said, as he scraped the chicken bones into the trash. He frowned as he watched her running dishwater into the sink. “You didn’t eat.”

“
I know. It feels like I’ll choke when I put food in my mouth.”

“
I’m sorry, sister. What can I do?” The look she gave him was one of relief, which only added to his guilt.

“
You’re here. That’s enough.”

“
Is there room for all this food in the refrigerator?” John asked.

“
There should be now. I already put the casseroles in the freezer in the back room. They’ll be easy enough to reheat the day of the funeral. The rest of the stuff to be refrigerated should fit. Don’t worry about the cakes or the fruit pies. They’ll be fine sitting out.”

“
Got it,” he said, and began covering up the uneaten food and putting it away.

They worked in silence for a few minutes, but as soon as they were finished John led her into the living room and sat down on the sofa.

“
Talk to me,” he said.

There were so many things they needed to discuss that Poppy couldn’t choose a topic.

“
You first.”

He didn’t hesitate. He might not like what she had to say but needed to know where he stood.

“
Do you hate me? Tell me the truth. I can take it. Lord knows I hate myself enough for the both of us.”

Her eyes welled. “No, Johnny, I don’t hate you. I couldn’t. Gladys says everyone deals with grief their own way. You did what you had to do to survive.”

Shame turned the food he’d just eaten into a knot in his belly. He shook his head and looked away.

“
It’s okay, Johnny. Really.”

“
No it’s not. I sacrificed you to save myself and never once thought what my leaving would do to you until it was too late.”

“
It’s not too late. I managed. Besides, I’m not a baby anymore. I don’t need anyone to take care of me. I can take care of myself.”

“
It wasn’t about taking care of you, sister. I hurt you and I hurt Mom and Dad because I couldn’t face the ugly truth. I was a coward and I’ll have to live with that for the rest of my life.”

Poppy’s heart was breaking. She’d never seen her big brother so defeated – so shamed, and the worst part of it was there was nothing she could say that could make it better.

“
Can I ask you something?” John asked.

“
Anything,” she said, as she watched his eyes well with tears.

“
Did she suffer?”

Poppy’s shoulders slumped. “I won’t lie. Probably. Yes, some for sure. But Dr. Summers was wonderful and toward the end they kept her comfortable. The thing about Mama was that she was always upbeat. Every time I visited I’d have to psych myself up to go into her room, but I’d walk out feeling better. I don’t know how she made that happen, but looking back, I think it was just her love filling me back up.”

Tears slipped down the sharp angles of his face. He didn’t bother wiping them away.

“
What about Dad? Do the cops have any suspects? Have they found his car?”

Poppy pulled a handful of tissues from the box near her elbow and handed them to him without comment.

“
No suspects, but they did find the car. It was at an all-night gas station with the keys in it and the doors locked.”

“
You’re kidding! I thought they’d probably find it stripped and burned or in the river,” John said.

“
So did I,” Poppy said.

“
What are the names of the cops in charge of the case? I want to talk to them tomorrow.”

“
Detective Amblin and Detective Duroy.”

“
Amblin? Mike Amblin?” John asked.

“
Yes, do you know him?”

“
He’s a couple of years older than me, but yeah. Star quarterback his last two years of high school. I heard he’d played some college ball too, but I lost track of all that once I graduated. And you know how I hated the mines. Once I got into trucking, I was only in and out of Caulfield long enough to see family.”

Poppy flashed on strong arms picking her up off the bridge - carrying her into the bathroom and running a hot bath to warm her because she was too cold to stand.

“
Detective Amblin has been very kind,” she said.

John nodded. “I want to thank him for that, too. I’ve lost touch with most of the friends I had in school.”
Except for Aaron Carter who is playing snitch for me.

Poppy picked at a hangnail without thinking, then looked surprised when it started to bleed. She wrapped a tissue around it and then put her hands in her lap.

“
I see mine now and then, but they don’t see me. Most of them are already married. Some with a baby or two.”

He frowned. “You’re only twenty. Plenty of time for all that.”

“
Now you sound like Mama and Daddy. I’m almost twenty-one. Every time I talked about getting an apartment they both had a fit. And I didn’t push the issue all that much either. I don’t make much waiting tables and it costs a lot to live on your own.”

“
Tell me about it, although I can’t complain about my salary. I do okay as a long-haul trucker and with no wife and kids, I don’t have that feeling of guilt some do that they’re missing out on the best years of their lives.”

Poppy eyed her brother, trying to see him from a prospective girlfriend’s point of view.

“
Do you have a girl, Johnny?”

He smiled. “I have lots of girlfriends, but not one special one. What about you?”

She thought of Vic Payton. He’d wanted her, but the spark between them just wasn’t there, at least for her. He’d chased her for nearly a year before he’d finally given up.

“
No. No one special.”

“
So we’re both flying solo for now. It’s all good. Whatever is meant to happen will happen, but not until it’s time.”

“
I guess.”

“
Okay, another tough question. Can you handle it or are you too tired to keep talking?” John asked.

“
We need to talk. What do you want to know?” Poppy asked.

“
Have you seen Dad’s body?”

Her voice began to shake. “In my mind every time I look at the river - in my sleep every time I close my eyes, but no, not in the sense that you mean. He’s still at the morgue.”

“
Then I’m going there tomorrow. Do you want to come?”

“
No, and I don’t know if I want to view his body at all.” She shuddered. “He was in the water most of the night. It’s a miracle he didn’t wash downriver because the storm and the downpour were awful. His body probably caught on something. I don’t want a bad image locked in my memory.”

“
It’s okay, honey. I just didn’t want to leave you out of the loop if you wanted to go.”

Poppy needed to change the subject. “Your bed is all ready, clean sheets and everything. You know where everything is, but if you need something I didn’t think of, just ask me.”

John cupped the side of her face. “Thank you. It’s been a long drive getting here. I’m going to shower and then hit the sack. I won’t take too long so you can get to bed, yourself.”

“
I think I’ll watch TV for a bit. Sleep well, Johnny.”

“
You too, Poppy,” he said, then kissed the top of her head and left.

Poppy turned on the television because she’d said that she would, but she couldn’t concentrate on anything except the days ahead. She wondered if the murder investigation was progressing, which brought Mike Amblin to mind. It was disconcerting to try and merge what Johnny said about the detective having been a local football star with the soft-spoken, hard-eyed man who’d come into her life at such a terrible time.

She hoped he was as good at his job as he had been playing football. She wanted her father’s killer behind bars. Well, that wasn’t exactly true. Actually, she wanted to watch him die, but she would settle for putting him behind bars for the rest of his miserable, cowardly life.

****

Amelia Caulfield was restless. The conversation she’d been having with Justin during their dinner had ended on such a terrible note that she’d couldn’t sleep. She wound up in her bedroom, pacing the floor. She didn’t understand why he was so angry, but he obviously was, and – although it didn’t make sense, he seemed angry with her – which prompted a surge of indignation.

She’d done nothing but love him and do everything within her power to make his life perfect from the day he’d been born. The best toys, the best clothes, the best schools, the best education money could buy. She’d been the one who’d set him up with Deborah, who turned out to be the perfect wife, and when he’d called in desperation about Callie’s health, she’d dropped everything to do his bidding. He had no reason to be angry with her and every reason in the world to be indebted.

The longer she paced, the angrier she became. This wasn’t fair and she’d put up with it long enough. She glanced at the clock. It was nearly eleven p.m. If he was already asleep, then it was just too bad. He should be awake and miserable like she was, but when she caught a glimpse of herself as she passed a mirror, she hesitated. No makeup and a dark hairnet over her steel-gray hair. Ah well. It’s not like he’d never seen her face this naked, but maybe it would be a good reminder that she was an old woman who deserved the respect her age demanded.

She tightened the tie on her robe, slipped her feet into her house shoes, and strode out of her room. The nightlight in the hallway was bright enough that she had no problem navigating the distance without turning on lights. As she passed the door to Callie’s bedroom, out of habit she almost stopped to peek in, then remembered her granddaughter was still in the hospital.

By the time she reached Justin’s bedroom she had worked herself up into a snit. She’d raised him better than this. He was going to wipe that sarcastic tone from his voice or know the reason why. Anger fueled the power of her knock as she rapped four times on the door in rapid succession.