Read A Fine Cauldron Of Fish Online
Authors: Cornelia Amiri
Tags: #celtic romance paranormal romantic comedy novella vampire funny fantasy
She mewed as he moaned.
Their bodies quivered together. His intense pleasure peaked. She
clenched against his cock then he went over the edge in a blaze of
heat as he spilled his seed into her.
“
You’re so hot.” He pulled
out and plopped down beside her. Exhausted.
She pulled the red Hilton
spread over both of them. The moment she laid her head on the plump
pillow, she fell into a deep sleep.
Andrew’s eyes drank in her
beauty. I hope I didn’t put you to sleep. That our lovemaking bored
you. Then he remembered it was the most passionate experience he’d
ever had. No, that couldn’t be it.
“
Ta Graih aym orrym
,” he whispered.
What am I going to do? Why does this whole thing bother me so?
Isn’t it great in a way? What every guy wants? A willing sex slave.
An invisible,out of this world, gorgeous woman to serve my needs
and desires. Should I try to find this druid or just go with the
flow? This isn’t such a bad thing, is it? Okay, I know. I’ll make a
list. Bad news first. I’ll start with cons.
He exhaled. “Okay, first
on the list, I might have to live in an underwater cave,” he said
aloud. “Second, no matter where I live, I’d have a red cauldron in
the living room. A cauldron filled with blood. How will I explain
that to friends and family who drop by?” Rubbing his chin, he
continued talking to himself. “Third, if we have kids, they might
be
lhiannan shee
and suck my blood. Fourth, my children might be invisible,
lots of problems there. How will the doctor even deliver them? How
will they go to school? If I’m the only one who can see them,
everything might fall on me. I might have to deliver them. Okay,
number four is real bad. Fifth, my father-in-law will be a sea god.
What does a sea god do to a son-in-law he doesn’t approve of? Okay,
five is not good. Not good at all. Number six, there’s an age
difference, I’m 25, and she’s thousands of years old. Okay, I’m
going to quit the cons, it’s getting scary.”
“
Okay, pros. Number one,
she loves me. Two, she makes me laugh. Number three, great sex.
Well that’s it, the pros have it.”
“
No, I can’t keep her as a
slave. I have to find Mannan beg mac y Leir and set this right.
Even if it kills me, and the sea god may kill me, but there are
worse things to die for than love or great sex. I’ll go see that
druid tomorrow and get this over with. Hopefully, Mannan won’t kill
me and Margaid and I can stay together.”
On that thought, he shut
his eyes and fell asleep.
Andrew awoke to a banging on the
door.
“
Wake up, sleepy-head.
Mom’s waiting downstairs. You were supposed to meet us. We’re going
sightseeing.”
“
Just a minute.” He
whispered to Margaid as she slowly opened her eyes, “It’s my little
brother.” Andrew caught himself; he almost said ‘you better put
some clothes on.’ “Are you sure he can’t see you?”
“
No one can see me but you,
silly. I keep telling you that.”
“
Okay, I just want to be
sure.”
“
I’ll stay under the covers
until he’s gone so you’ll feel better.” She stressed the word feel
and gave him one of her adorable, goofy smiles.
The banging resumed. “Hold your
horses, Mathew, I’m coming.”
He pulled on his blue jeans, or rather
some strange guy’s jeans and opened the door.
In walked a short version of Andrew,
in appearance only, not in personality as Andrew would gladly tell
anyone who listened. No, Mathew was a major pain, all five feet of
him. He swaggered in with his little eleven-year old
self.
“
What‘s up? What took you
so long to open the door?”
“
I was asleep.”
He flashed a toothy grin. “You’ve got
a girl in here.”
“
What?” Oh no. “You can see
her?”
“
No. Don’t be sarcastic. I
don’t see anyone. You’ve got her hidden. I can tell you’ve got a
woman in here.”
The little jerk. Andrew exhaled.
“There’s a girl in here, wow, thanks for letting me
know.”
“
Ha, ha, ha, I’m serious. I
know you.”
Andrew glanced at Margaid sitting upon
the bed with the covers pulled up to her shoulders. She was no more
than eight feet from Mathew and staring right at him. The kid
didn’t have a clue. “Ha, ha ha, yourself.” Andrew pulled out one of
his shirts and buttoned it up. “Let me get dressed, so I can meet
Mom downstairs.”
Mathew was stalking out the area
around the bed. He made a sudden, dramatic move as if he thought he
would find something and bent down to look under the
bed.
He stood up again. A look of extreme
disappointment etched his features. “Gosh.”
“
Disappointed?”
Then a huge grin filled his thin face
and he pounced on the floor on Margaid’s side of the bed. He was a
breath span from her face.
“
Ah, ha.” Mathew leapt back
on his feet, his great catch clutched in his tight little fist. He
held Margaid’s chiton.
Andrew snapped his head toward
her.
She shrugged. “He can’t see or hear me
and if my dress was on me, he wouldn’t be able to see it, but since
it’s off, he can.”
Andrew turned back to his little
brother and said, “Look, knock it off. I need to get dressed
now.”
Andrew said the last word loudly,
trying to tell Margaid to slip her clothes on.
Before the kid knew what had happened,
Andrew snatched the chiton out of his hand and tossed it to
Margaid. The moment she slipped it on, Mathew began blinking his
eyes staring at the air. Andrew could see she was fully dressed
once more. But Mathew didn’t see her at all.
“
What happened? The dress
flew up in the air and then it just disappeared.”
“
This is a lot to go
through before breakfast.” Andrew tugged his socks on.
Mathew just stood there with his mouth
open. “Tell me about it.”
Andrew looked at his brother’s baffled
face and chuckled. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were drunk
and seeing things.”
“
I wish.” Mathew lolled his
head to the side.
Andrew burst with laughter as he tied
his tennis shoes. “There was no dress little brother. Are you
okay?”
“
There was a dress, I had
it in my hand. And I know there’s a woman in here.”
“
I wish.” Andrew flashed
his brother a wide grin then winked at Margaid.
“
Oh no, don’t tell me, I
know. Its puberty isn’t it? My rushing hormones made me imagine a
woman’s dress.”
“
I think so.” Andrew was
still laughing. The little sneak deserves it. Butting into my
business. Trying to find my woman. Pesky little brother.
“
You better hurry then.
Mom’s downstairs and she’s got a man with her.”
“
Oh, no.” Andrew rubbed his
forehead.
“
Yeah. So with her taste in
men, he could be an axe murderer. We better get down there before
he chops off her head.”
Andrew turned to Margaid, and rolled
his eyes toward the door so she would know to follow though he
remembered she told him as his slave, she had to go everywhere he
did. As soon as they ate, he would find that druid and put an end
to this, he only hoped it didn’t put an end to him. And Mathew was
right, his mother needed help when it came to men. Who would take
care of her if something happened to him?
“
Let’s go,” he said to
Mathew and Margaid.
They took the elevator and strolled
into the Paragon restaurant. Andrew spotted his mom sitting at a
table by the glass wall looking out at the sea. The man sat facing
her so his back was to Andrew.
“
Let’s go check this guy
out.” Andrew led the way over to his mom’s table.
She smiled at them.
“
Good morning, Mom.” Andrew
bent down and kissed her on the cheek.
The man shot up from his seat.
“You.”
Andrew's heart stopped for a
moment.
“
Those are my pants,” the
guy yelled.
“
Oh, do you have a pair of
jeans like Andrew's?” his mom asked in a feigned cheerful voice,
obviously trying to be nice until someone told her what was going
on.
Just my luck. Andrew gaped at the same
guy Margaid had stripped last night. “I can explain.” But I really
can’t. Since no one in their right mind would believe me. Andrew
felt sudden warmth as Margaid wrapped her arm around his
shoulder.
“
Why is he so mad?” Margaid
looked confused. “I left him his boxers.”
“
I’m so sorry about last
night and your clothes. I’ll pay you for them.” Andrew reached into
his wallet.
His mother looked at him, “Andrew,”
then she glanced at her friend, “Bob, do you two know each
other?”
“
Yes,” Bob said loudly as
he stared at Andrew. “She’s right, I know now. I know who you
are.”
Oh no, Andrew thought. The guy was
probably going to call the police. After all, he had stolen Bob’s
clothes and stripped him naked except for his B is for Big shorts.
Margaid did it, but the guy didn’t know that, so now Andrew would
end up in a Manx jail.
Mathew nodded at his mother. “I think
they know each other.”
“
I figured it out.” The man
waved his finger. “You see, I thought about it all night and now I
know who you are.”
“
I really didn’t mean to
steal your clothes. I didn’t do it really.”
“
Oh, you didn’t do it
yourself. You had one of your fey servants do it. It was probably
a
lhiannan shee
.”
“
What is that?” his mom,
Christine, asked.
“
Leh noun she,” Mathew said
slowly. “I never heard of it.”
What? “Actually that's right. How did
you know?” Andrew stepped closer to Bob.
“
Oh, I know all about you.
How you can transform into anyone. I know who you really
are.”
“
I’m Andrew, Christine’s
son.”
“
No you’re not. You’re
Mannan beg mac y Leir.”
“
Oh no.” Had the whole
world gone mad? “You have it all wrong.” Andrew shook his
head.
“
Who’s that?” Mathew’s
brows arched.
Andrew turned to his brother, who
seemed the sanest person at the table at that moment, which in
itself was a bad sign. Boy, am I in trouble. “Mannan beg mac y
Leir’s the sea god.”
“
Oh.” Mathew turned his
gaze on Bob. “So you’ve met my brother the sea god
before?”
“
Yes, last night, he worked
his magic on me.”
“
Woo ho,” Mathew said.
“Geez, Andrew, I thought you liked girls.”
“
Shut up,” he snapped at
Mathew. “You’re not helping at all.”
Christine leaned back in her chair.
“What’s going on here?”
“
Great news, Mom,” Mathew
quipped. “You finally found a man who will treat you like a
goddess.”
With a slight flutter of her lashes
Christine smiled coyly. “Oh really.” She let out a flirty
giggle.
“
You’re the mother of a god
which makes you a goddess.” Mathew stood up raised his arms high
and with a dramatic flair animatedly bowed to his mom. “Hail the
goddess, Christine, mother of the sea god.”
“
Stop that, Mathew,” his
mother scolded.
“
Mighty god of the
waters.”
“
Cut it out, Mathew.”
Andrew turned his head back to Bob. “Look, I’m not the sea
god.”
Mathew bowed toward his older brother.
“Praise the sea god.”
Andrew wheeled around toward his
little brother. “Stop. Now.”
“
No, you are.” Bob pointed
to Mathew. “He’s right.” Raising his tattooed arms high, he bowed
to Andrew as well. “Praise mighty Mannan beg mac y Leir, god of the
sea, god of transformation, the trickster god.”
Andrew balled his hands into fists and
knocked them together. “Please stop.” He backed away, ready to
leave.
“
What is going on here?”
Christine stood up. She grabbed hold of Mathew's arm and physically
brought his bowing to a halt.
Still, Mathew flashed a bold smile.
“Your date thinks Andrew is a sea god and he’s worshiping
him.”
Christine glanced at Bob who was still
bowing. “Good lord, I can’t believe this. Why can’t I find a normal
man? What is wrong with me?”
“
It’s not you, Mom.” Andrew
tried to comfort her.
“
I think you need to leave
now,” Christine told Bob. She reached into her purse, pulled out a
credit card, and handed it to Andrew. “Get yourselves breakfast.
I’ll be in my room.” She ran to the elevator crying.
“
Mom.” Mathew hurried after
her.
Andrew turned to Bob. “Here, let’s go
to the gift shop right now and I’ll buy you some new
clothes.”
“
No need. All I ask of the
great Mannan beg mac y Leir is that you bless me with a prosperous
year.”