A Fire That Burns (21 page)

The memory worked for a moment, but it didn’t work as a permanent relief
and Austin’s body became
a stimuli
of sensory pain. He
leaned in and wiped her tears away gently, then leaned in further to kiss her
with purpose. It was just like her father was here looking after her. Except,
this time, unlike her father, Tyler was the one that kissed away the pain with
memories, he was the one that caught her tears. This time she had the man who
owned her heart looking after her like he used to, and he was the one that got her
through this moment until it was over.

It didn’t take them long to find that separation didn’t change what was
meant to be. Especially as the nurse left
them
be,
telling Austin to sleep. Tyler
lie
down with her and
wrapped his arms around her as best he could, regardless of her burns, and held
her safe and protected to his body. His body seemed to communicate with hers as
it always had and he was careful with her still fragile body.

“We can’t keep doing this,” she whispered to him suddenly breaking the moment.

“Doing what?” Tyler asked her, a little scared of the response.

Austin sighed, “Coming back to one another, it can’t be fair.”

Tyler thought for a moment to see if he agreed, but he didn’t.
“Why not?” he asked her casually, “It feels so right.”

“You don’t really still love me,” Austin told him honestly and nuzzled
into his chest a little to keep the tears away. “Surely you can’t?”

“Oh I can,” Tyler admitted to her truthfully. He found that this moment
wasn’t about her loving him – that was set in stone – it was about his love for
her. He knew they had to work on that and prove it to her. “And I will spend
every day of my life fighting to have back what was perfectly mine when I
became reckless.”

Austin could feel
herself
falling asleep and as
much as she wanted to push Tyler to go home, she wanted him to remain here with
her forever. “Six years is a long time for you to still feel the same.”

Listening carefully, Tyler could tell Austin was finally comfortable
enough to sleep as her body got heavier and move relaxed in his arms. “Six
years is a long time to feel the same and not have the object of your desire to
love.” Moving to look at his watch, Tyler spoke softly, “Want me to leave
before your parents get here so you can sleep?”

Austin shook her head and
reveled
in the
comfort of having the formidable force of Tyler around her. She caved and
accepted it instead of deciding to push it away. “Just stay,” she whispered her
desire sleepily, “Stay right where you are.”

“Count it done,” he whispered back and lingered in the silence of
Austin’s hospital room. It didn’t take him long holding her close to close his
eyes and fall into an easy sleep with his entire world in his arms.

That was how Jane and Nicolas found their daughter –
wrapped up in the arms of Tyler – the place where she was always at her
happiest.

Chapter Thirty-Eight

THE
one thing Austin
hated most about waking up this morning,
was having
to
see Tyler leave her. He had taken a call and promised her he would be back.
Now, hours later, she had slept and woken up to find out she was finally
allowed to sit up properly and feel less like a hospitalized victim. It was
pushing her pain thresholds but, to be a little more competent made her feel
like her recovery was on its way.

She had quickly found that Tyler had indeed been back, and the mere
thought of him brought her paled lips to curve into a small smile.
 
Now, as her hands ran over the old print of
her yearbook, she found herself lost in the past – her burns even went
forgotten. She was skimming through the pages, taking note of the ones that had
colorful
tabs to catch her attention.

When she had woken up, the yearbook was sitting on the table by her bed
with her name and a little note on it. She had read it and smiled wistfully – “
Remember
how we got to being us – T”
.

If she knew anything it was that he was trying to recapture her trust
and heart. She knew it might take a while, but a part of her hoped one day soon
it would all make sense. One day she hoped to wake up and she would know where she
belonged. Six years of no real family had rendered her a trapped soul. She
shielded herself from things that would potentially hurt her and she knew she
had to release that insecurity.

She had to smirk at the pictures of her and Tyler that were in here.
They really were the ‘it’ couple. She missed having that status, she missed
having the solace of his arms when she was feeling under the weather and wasn’t
being herself. She missed being needed by him when he was ill, or when his old
shoulder injury played up and he needed her assistance. She just missed him.

That caused an entirely new swirl of questions to arise.

Did Natasha sleep with him when he had a fever? Did she give him a
massage when his shoulder locked and he was in pain from the same old injury?
Did she stay up with him when insomnia hit? Was she the one that would run out
into the rain and kiss him in the middle of a storm if she wanted another
goodbye? Was Natasha the girl that now made love to him in the rocks of Point
Arena cove?

Austin selfishly hoped not.

Looking down at the photo of the three of them, she guessed she wasn’t.
Natasha wasn’t really the type that invested time in other people. She was
always the one that was self-absorbed and made
herself
a priority with anything in life. She couldn’t be the type of girl that made
Tyler know how much of a priority he was in her life. She hadn’t really shown
that in the months that Austin had been back so that meant she was still the
selfish individual she had grown up as being. Why would that change?

Then again, that could just be wishful thinking on her behalf.

Pushing that thought back, Austin shifted so she was more under the
artificial light of the overhead lamp and continued to relive her past. The
time before it all went wrong. She looked at old pictures of when they were at
football matches, moments from projects, classes, extracurricular activities.
There were pictures from lunch breaks and revision classes. Club shots and the
yearly group photos - everything that high school was built upon.

The pictures that Tyler had pointed out were ones of them in the
bleachers at their old school, pictures that the student body had collected
over time and made a collage of. There were ones of her on her own, ones of
them together, some with her and their other classmates. In all of which he had
mentioned how bright her smile was above everyone else’s. He spoke of how her
eyes were brighter than any of the others, or how she was the most beautiful
girl.

As she neared the end of the book, Austin felt surreal. She felt like
she was back in school, there being loved and made to feel beautiful, giving
into the realization that there was one man that was always going to love her.

Sighing, she turned the page over and found that she was the end and
reality dawned back in. She got caught up in the remembrance of things past and
forgot about the dreadful truth of the present. She forgot about the
miscarriage, about running, about being unwanted, about the fire and she forgot
about the pain.
 
She only remembered
those happier times.

As the presence of the time washed over her, she was almost swallowed
whole by the predicament she was caught up in. Did she recapture a long lost
love or did she let him go for good?

That question seemed to be answered for her.

On the back page was a new message, one that made her eyes water – “
Maybe
we need to make a new yearbook?
One for our future.
T.”

***

Finding herself growing concerned by the silence
filling the room, Austin just stared at the door, waiting for something to fill
the doorway with their welcome and give her a moment to take just forget her
thoughts. Waking up and still being alone wasn’t doing much for her morale. She
had no idea at how much time had passed especially with the nurses constant and
consistent monitoring.

She yawned for the umpteenth time. She was wondering on a grand scale of
things – how was the house? Was it just a carcass of its former glory? How was
Tyler dealing with the stress of insurance claims and seeing the house? How was
he dealing with his ex-fiancées both being let downs? How was she going to deal
with things when Natasha was free on bail? Because knowing Diane, that bail
money would be paid somehow.
 
And one of
the questions that she had on a loop – when the hell was she going to get free
of this place?!

“Don’t think too hard or you might burst a vein,” Dean’s voice broke the
silence in the room. “That might be just a bit too messy.”

Austin looked at her brother and smiled gratefully that company had
arrived at long last. She knew it wouldn’t be long before the cavalry arrived
and she wouldn’t be so bored and maybe, just maybe, they might wear her out
enough to sleep away the exhaustion.

“Mom sent over breakfast,” he said holding up a box as he entered the
room. “She’s just got some errands to run and she’ll be here. Everyone’s at
work trying to get some more time off.”

“Sounds good to me,” Austin said and shook her head as Dean passed a
plastic tub her way. “I’m not that hungry though.”

Frowning, he placed the box on the table and sat down on the bed,
“What’s up?”

“Nothing,” she told him honestly, “Well nothing bad. I just haven’t
slept a lot and food isn’t a top priority at the moment.”

“What is?” Dean carried on questioning.

Austin looked at her brother, “When am I going home?”

Sighing, Dean ran a hand over his forehead, “I know you
wanna
get home, Aussie, I do but until the doctors are
satisfied with the progress of your recovery, you
gotta
stick this out.” He dropped his hand and looked at her and gave her a smile.
“You know they wouldn’t imprison you unless it was for a good reason.”

“I know,” Austin responded nonchalantly. “I just get lonely and a little
too into my head space.”

“So I can see, sis.” Dean returned the comment as he noticed the
obvious, “How exactly did you survive six years without us to knock you out of
this funk?”

“Became a workaholic,” she chortled at him lightly and put her arm up to
her shoulder in a bid to calm the pain. She put her head back and when she
brought it back down, her brother’s eyes, the same swirl of blue like hers,
were staring directly her. Both orbs filled with so much twisted concern it
made her feel guilty. “Pain meds are not touching it today.”

“Have you told a nurse?” Dean asked and as he saw the answer written on Austin’s
face he let out an angry sigh. “I always hated you being
the
suffer
in silence type of stubborn child.”

“I know,” Austin replied with a smirk. “But you love me all the same.”

Dean laughed at her, “Sure do, kiddo. Nothing’s
gonna
change that,” he said leaning in, “Unless you run away again.” He shot her a
pointed look and saw her expression turn to pure shock. “Yeah, I said it. You
disappear again and I will be after you faster than it takes for you to run. I
will be watching you like a hawk baby sister.”

“Good thing I don’t really want to run away again eh?” Austin asked her
brother casually and settled for a moment thoughtfully.

“What else is bugging you?” Dean asked her after a few minutes of
silence as he decided to set all of the food out, hoping that seeing something
as simple as fruit would coerce her to just eat a little.

Austin looked at Dean, “Tyler,” she murmured back and looked away for a
moment of hesitation. “I just don’t know what to do about that
area
of
my life.”

“You ever thought about just falling?” Dean asked as he picked through
her bowl of fruit. He looked up at his sister, “You might just find that he’ll
be there to catch you.”

“Is it just that simple?” she countered as she pondered on the same
subject matter that was continually consuming her. “He held me last night and
for once I felt like I was home at long last. I felt like I was nineteen, and I
don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing, Dean. I’m scared to give him my heart
so quickly and then be left sitting around like I did. I don’t want to be in
that place again because it broke my heart; it was lonely and scary and
look
how it ended.” Austin told him in a hastened fiery
rant, she hadn’t breathed and refused to acknowledge the straggling tears as
they dropped from the corners of her eyes until the last question fell from her
lips.
 
“Do I trust him so easily with my
heart again?”

Taking a deep breath, Dean smiled, “I’m guessing he left that here?” he
asked pointing to the yearbook as it sat on the other side of Austin. He watched
her nod, “And who’s the man that so easily arrested his fiancée when the truth
came out?”

“Tyler,” Austin muttered back.

“And who’s the man that kissed you the first time you were together
after six years?” he asked and saw her shocked look, “I saw it, and so did Tom
and Sienna actually. Beside the point though. Who was it?”

“Tyler,” Austin replied ashamedly.

“Who was it that willingly flirted with you without even telling you he
was engaged?” Again he got the same name retorted at him. “Who was it that
bought a house with you to renovate? Said house being the one that you were
going to buy six years ago?” he asked and Austin spoke Tyler’s name
softly.
 
“And who was it that, even after
everything, willingly risked his life to run into a burning house?”

“That’s not a fair question,” Austin said with a groan, “You and Tom did
that too.”

“We’re family so, therefore, it doesn’t count.” He argued back and
didn’t waver from his point in this chat, “Austin, you and I both know you want
to give all in and have him. However hard you fight it, you know that when all
is said and done, it will be him you want and it’s him that you think about.
Even after everything.”
Dean told her truthfully, he could
see he was breaking her down and she was coming around to his way of thinking.

“Can you quit being the bad cop and just entertain me?” Austin
questioned him quickly and pleadingly. She was trying her hardest to keep her
emotions on lock down because right now she was about to burst into tears over
the truth of the matter and she really didn’t want to cry anymore.

“I will if you eat breakfast with me,” Dean fought back at her comment
and he smirked. “I’m your big brother; I’ll never stop being the bad cop.”

Austin groaned and accepted this deal.