A Fire Upon the Deep (30 page)

Five minutes later, they had Woodcarver out of the tent. The place was still a madhouse, but gone deathly quiet to Johanna's ears. She'd helped the Queen onto her carriage, but after that no one would let her near. Even Pilgrim, so eager to translate everything the day before, brushed her aside. "It will be okay," was all he said as he ran to the front of the carriage and grabbed the reins of the shaggy Whatsits. The carriage pulled out, surrounded by several packs of guards. For an instant, the weirdness of the Tines world came crashing back on Johanna. This was a obviously a great emergency. A person might be dying. People were rushing this way and that. And yet.... The packs drew into themselves. No one crowded close. No one could touch another.

The instant passed, and Johanna was running out of the tent after the carriage. She tried to keep to the heather along the muddy path, and almost caught up. Everything was wet and chill, gunmetal gray. Everyone had been so intent on the test -- could this be more Flenser treachery? Johanna stumbled, went down on her knees in the mud. The carriage turned a corner, onto cobblestones. Now it was lost to sight. She got up and slogged on through the wet, but a little slower now. There was nothing she could do, nothing she could do. She had made friends with Scriber, and Scriber had been killed. She had made friends with Woodcarver, and now....

She walked along the cobbled alley between the castle's storehouses. The carriage was out of sight, but she could hear its clatter on ahead. Vendacious' security packs ran in both directions past her, stopping briefly in side niches to allow opposing traffic by. Nobody answered her questions -- probably none of them even spoke Samnorsk.

Johanna almost got lost. She could hear the carriage, but it had turned somewhere. She heard it again behind her. They were taking Woodcarver to Johanna's place! She went back, and a few minutes later was climbing the path to the two-storey cabin she had shared with Woodcarver these last weeks. Johanna was too pooped to run anymore. She walked slowly up the hillside, vaguely aware of her wet and muddy state. The carriage was stopped about five meters short of the door. Guard packs were strung out along the hill, but their bows weren't nocked.

The afternoon sunlight found a break in the western clouds and shone for a moment on the damp heather and glistening timbers, lighting them bright against dark sky above the hills. It was a combination of light and dark that had always seemed especially beautiful to Johanna.
Please let her be okay.

The guards let her pass. Peregrine Wickwrackscar was standing around the entrance, three of him watching her approach. The fourth, Scarbutt, had its long neck stuck through the doorway, watching whatever was inside. "She wanted to be back here when it happened," he said.

"What h-happened?" said Johanna.

Pilgrim made the equivalent of a shrug. "It was the shock of that cannon going off. But almost anything could have done it." There was something odd about the way his heads were bobbing around. With a shock Johanna realized the pack was
smiling
, full of glee.

"I want to see her!" Scarbutt backed hastily away as she started for the door.

Inside there was only the light from the door and the high window slits. It took a second for Johanna's eyes to adjust. Something smelled ... wet. Woodcarver was lying in a circle on the quilted mattress she used every evening. She crossed the room and went to her knees beside the pack. The pack edged nervously away from her touch. There was blood, and what looked like a pile of guts, in the middle of the mattress. Johanna felt vomit rising in her. "W-Woodcarver?" she said very softly.

One of the Queen moved back toward Johanna and put its muzzle in the girl's hand. "Hello, Johanna. It's ... so strange ... to have someone next to me at a time like this."

"You're bleeding. What's the matter?"

Soft, human-sounding laughter. "I'm hurt, but it's good.... See." The blind one was holding something small and wet in its jaws. One of the others was licking it. Whatever it was, it was wiggling, alive. And Johanna remembered how strangely plump and awkward parts of Woodcarver had become.

"A baby?"

"Yes. And I'm going to have another in a day or two."

Johanna sat back on the floor timbers, and covered her face with her hands. She was going to start crying again. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Woodcarver didn't say anything for a moment. She licked the little one all around, then set it against the tummy of the member that must be its mother. The newborn snuggled close, nuzzling into the belly fur. It didn't make any noise that Johanna could hear. Finally the Queen said, "I ... don't know if I can make you understand. This has been very hard for me."

"Having babies?" Johanna's hands were sticky with the blood on the quilt. Obviously this had been hard,
but that's how all lives must start on a world like this
. It was pain that needed the support of friends, pain that led to joy.

"No. Having the babies isn't it. I've borne more than a hundred in my memory's time. But these two ... are the ending of me. How can you understand? You humans don't even have the choice to keep on living; your offspring can never be you. But for me, it's the end of a soul six hundred years old. You see, I'm going to keep these two to be part of me ... and for the first time in all the centuries, I am not both the mother and the father. A newby I'll become."

Johanna looked at the blind one and the drooler. Six hundred years of incest. How much longer could Woodcarver have continued before the mind itself decayed?
Not both the mother and the father.
"But then who is father?" she blurted out.

"Who do you think?" The voice came from just beyond the door. One of Peregrine Wickwrackscar's heads peered around the corner just far enough to show an eye. "When Woodcarver makes a decision, she goes for extremes. She's been the most tightly held soul of all time. But now she has blood -- genes, Dataset would say -- from packs all over the world, from one of the flakiest pilgrims who ever cast his soul upon the wind."

"Also from one of the smartest," said Woodcarver, her voice wry and wistful at the same time. "The new soul will be at least as intelligent as before, and probably a lot more flexible."

"And I'm a little bit pregnant, myself," said Pilgrim. "But I'm not the least bit sad. I've been a foursome for too long. Imagine, having pups by Woodcarver herself! Maybe I'll turn all conservative and settle down."

"Hah! Even two from me is not enough to slow your pilgrim soul."

Johanna listened to the banter. The ideas were so
alien
, and yet the overtones of affection and humor were somehow very familiar. Somewhere ... then she had it: When Johanna was just five years old, and Mom and Dad brought little Jefri home. Johanna couldn't remember the words, or even the sense of what they'd said -- but the tone was the same as what went between Woodcarver and Pilgrim.

Johanna slid back to a sitting position, the tension of the day evaporating. Scrupilo's artillery really worked; there was a chance of getting the ship. And even if they failed ... she felt a little bit like she was back home.

"C-can I pet your puppy?"

.Delete this paragraph to shift page flush

The voyage of the
Out of Band II
had begun in catastrophe, where life and death were a difference of hours or minutes. In the first weeks there had been terror and loneliness and the resurrection of Pham. The
OOB
had fallen quickly toward the galactic plane, away from Relay. Day by day the whorl of stars tilted up to meet them, till it was the single band of light, the Milky Way as seen from the perspective of Nyjora and Old Earth -- and from most all the habitable planets of the Galaxy.

Twenty thousand light-years in three weeks. But that had been on a path through the Middle Beyond. Now in the galactic plane, they were still six thousand light-years from their goal at the Bottom of the Beyond. The Zone interfaces roughly followed surfaces of constant mean density; on a galactic scale, the Bottom was a vaguely lens-shaped surface, surrounding much of the galactic disk. The
OOB
was moving in the plane of the disk now, more or less toward the galactic center. Every week took them deeper toward the Slowness. Worse, their path, and all variants that made any progress, extended right through a region of massive Zone shifting. The Net News had called it the Great Zone Storm, though of course there was not the slightest physical feeling of turbulence within the volume. But some days their progress was less that eighty percent what they'd expected.

Early on they'd known that it was not only the storm that was slowing them. Blueshell had gone outside, looking over the damage that still remained from their escape.

"So it's the ship itself?" Ravna had glared out from the bridge, watching the now imperceptible crawl of near stars across the heavens. The confirmation was no revelation. But what to do?

Blueshell trundled back and forth across the ceiling. Every time he reached the far wall, he'd query ship's management about the pressure seal on the nose lock. Ravna glared at him, "Hey, that was the n'th time you've checked status in the last three minutes. If you really think something is wrong, then
fix
it."

The Skroderider's wheeled progress came to an abrupt halt. Fronds waved uncertainly. "But I was just outside. I want to be sure I shut the port correctly.... Oh, you mean I've already checked it?"

Ravna looked up at him, and tried to get the sting out of her voice. Blueshell wasn't the proper target for her frustration. "Yup. At least five times."

"I'm sorry." He paused, going into the stillness of complete concentration. "I've committed the memory." Sometimes the habit was cute, and sometimes just irritating: When the Riders tried to think on more than one thing at a time, their Skrodes were sometimes unable to maintain short-term memory. Blueshell especially got trapped into cycles of behavior, repeating an action and immediately forgetting the accomplishment.

Pham grinned, looking a lot cooler than Ravna felt. "What I don't see is why you Riders put up with it."

"What?"

"Well, according to the ship's library, you've had these Skrode gadgets since before there was a Net. So how come you haven't improved the design, gotten rid of the silly wheels, upgraded the memory tracking? I bet that even a Slow Zone combat programmer like me could come up with a better design than the one you're riding."

"It's really a matter of tradition," Blueshell said primly, "We're grateful to Whatever gave us wheels and memory in the first place."

"Hmm."

Ravna almost smiled. By now she knew Pham well enough to guess what he was thinking -- namely that plenty of Riders might have gone on to better things in the Transcend. Those remaining were likely to have self-imposed limitations.

"Yes. Tradition. Many who once were Riders have changed -- even Transcended. But we persist." Greenstalk paused, and when she continued sounded even more shy than usual. "You've heard of the Rider Myth?"

"No," said Ravna, distracted in spite of herself. In the time ahead she would know as much about these Riders as about any human friends, but for now there were still surprises.

"Not many have. Not that it's a secret; it's just we don't make much of it. It comes close to being religion, but one we don't proselytize. Four or five billion years ago, Someone built the first skrodes and raised the first Riders to sentience. That much is verified fact. The Myth is that something destroyed our Creator and all its works.... A catastrophe so great that from this distance it is not even understood as an act of mind."

There were plenty of theories about what the galaxy had been like in the distant past, in the time of the Ur-Partition. But the Net couldn't be forever. There had to be a beginning. Ravna had never been a big believer in Ancient Wars and Catastrophes.

"So in a sense," Greenstalk said, "we Riders are the faithful ones, waiting for What created us to return. The traditional skrode and the traditional interface are a standard. Staying with it has made our patience possible."

"Quite so," said Blueshell. "And the design itself is very subtle, My Lady, even if the function is simple." He rolled to the center of the ceiling. "The skrode of tradition imposes a good discipline -- concentration on what's truly important. Just now I was trying to worry about too many things...." Abruptly he returned to the topic at hand: "Two of our drive spines never recovered from the damage at relay. Three more appear to be degrading. We thought this slow progress was just the storm, but now I've studied the spines up close. The diagnostic warnings were no false alarm."

"... and it's still getting worse?"

"Unfortunately so."

"So how bad will it get?"

Blueshell drew all his tendrils together. "My Lady Ravna, we can't be certain of the extrapolations yet. It may not get much worse than now, or -- You know the
OOB
was not fully ready for departure. There were the final consistency checks still to do. In a way, I worry about that more than anything. We don't know what bugs may lurk, especially when we reach the Bottom and our normal automation must be retired. We must watch the drives very carefully ... and hope."

It was the nightmare that haunted travelers, especially at the Bottom of the Beyond: with ultradrive gone, suddenly a light-year was not a matter of minutes but of years. Even if they fired up the ramscoop and went into cold sleep, Jefri Olsndot would be a thousand years dead before they reached him, and the secret of his parents' ship buried in some medieval midden.

Pham Nuwen waved at the slowly shifting star fields. "Still, this is the Beyond. Every hour we go farther than the fleet of Qeng Ho could in a decade." He shrugged. "Surely there's some place we can get repairs?"

"Several."

So much for "a quick flight, all unobserved".
Ravna sighed. The final fitting at Relay was to include spares and Bottom compatibility software. All that was faraway might-have-beens now. She looked at Greenstalk. "Do you have any ideas?"

"About what?" Greenstalk said.

Ravna bit her lip in frustration. Some said the Riders were a race of comedians; they were indeed, but it was mostly unintentional.

Blueshell rattled at his mate.

"
Oh!
You mean where can we get help. Yes, there are several possibilities. Sjandra Kei is thirty-nine hundred lights spinward from here, but outside this storm. We --"

"Too far," Blueshell and Ravna spoke almost in chorus.

"Yes, yes, but remember. The Sjandra Kei worlds are mainly human, your home, my lady Ravna. And Blueshell and I know them well; after all, they were the source of the crypto shipment we brought to Relay. We have friends there and you a family. Even Blueshell agrees that we can get the work done without notice there."

"Yes,
if
we could get there." Blueshell's voder voice sounded petulant.

"Okay, what are the other choices?"

"They are not so well-known. I'll make a list." Her fronds drifted across a console. "Our last chance for choice is rather near our planned course. It's a single system civilization. The Net name is ... it translates as Harmonious Repose."

"Rest in Peace, eh?" said Pham.

But they had agreed to voyage on quietly, always watching the bad drive spines, postponing the decision to stop for help.

The days became weeks, and weeks slowly counted into months. Four voyagers on a quest toward the Bottom. The drive became worse, but slowly, right on
OOB
's diagnostic projections.

The Blight continued to spread across the Top of the Beyond, and its attacks on Network archives extended far beyond its direct reach.

Communication with Jefri was improving. Messages trickled in at the rate of one or two a day. Sometimes, when
OOB
's antenna swarm was tuned just right, he and Ravna would talk almost in real time. Progress was being made on the Tines' world, faster than she had expected -- perhaps fast enough that the boy could save himself.

It should have been a hard time, locked up in the single ship with just three others, with only a thread of communication to the outside, and that with a lost child.

In any case, it was rarely boring. Ravna found that each of them had plenty to do. For herself it was managing the ship's library, coaxing out of it the plans that would help Mr. Steel and Jefri.
OOB
's library was nothing compared to the Archive at Relay, or even the university libraries at Sjandra Kei, but without proper search automation it could be just as unknowable. And as their voyage proceeded, that automation need more and more special care.

And ... things could never be boring with Pham around. He had a dozen projects, and curiosity about everything. "Voyaging time can be a gift," he'd say. "Now we have time to catch ourselves up, time to get ready for whatever we find ahead." He was learning Samnorsk. It went slower than his faked learning on Relay, but the guy had a natural bent for languages, and Ravna gave him plenty of practice.

He spent several hours each day in the
OOB
's workshop, often with Blueshell. Reality graphics were a new thing to him, but after a few weeks he was beyond toy prototypes. The pressure suits he built had power packs and weapons stores. "We don't know what things may be like when we arrive; powered armor could be real useful."

At the end of each work day they would all meet on the command deck, to compare notes, to consider the latest from Jefri and Mr. Steel, to review the drive status. For Ravna this could be the happiest time of the day ... and sometimes the hardest. Pham had rigged the display automation to show castle walls all around. A huge fireplace replaced the normal window on comm status. The sound of it was almost perfect; he had even coaxed a small amount of "fire" heat from that wall. This was a castle hall out of Pham's memory, from Canberra he said. But it wasn't that different from the Age of Princesses on Nyjora (though most of
those
castles had been in tropical swamps, where big fireplaces were rarely used). For some perverse reason, even the Riders seemed to enjoy it; Greenstalk said it reminded her of a trading stop from her first years with Blueshell. Like travelers who have walked through a long day, the four of them rested in the coziness of a phantom lodge. And when the new business was settled, Pham and the Riders would trade stories, often late into the "night".

Ravna sat beside him, the least talkative of the four. She joined in the laughter and sometimes the discussion: There was the time Blueshell had a humor fit at Pham's faith in public key encryption, and Ravna knew some stories of her own to illustrate the Rider's opinion. But this was also the hardest time for her. Yes, the stories were wonderful. Blueshell and Greenstalk had been so many places, and at heart they were traders. Swindles and bargains and good done were all part of their lives. Pham listened to his friends, almost enraptured ... and then told his own stories, of being a prince on Canberra, of being a Slow Zone trader and explorer. And for all the limitations of the Slowness, his life's adventures surpassed even the Skroderiders'. Ravna smiled and tried to pretend enthusiasm.

For Pham's stories were too much. He honestly believed them, but she couldn't imagine one human seeing so much, doing so much. Back on Relay, she had claimed his memories were synthetic, a little joke of Old One. She had been very angry when she said it, and more than anything she wished she never had ... because it was so clearly the truth. Greenstalk and Blueshell never noticed, but sometimes in the middle of a story Pham would stumble on his memories and a look of barely concealed panic would come to his eyes. Somewhere inside, he knew the truth too, and she suddenly wanted to hug him, comfort him. It was like having a terribly wounded friend, with whom you can talk but never mutually admit the scope of the injuries. Instead she pretended the lapses didn't exist, smiling and laughing at the rest of his story.

And Old One's jape was all so unnecessary. Pham didn't have to be a great hero. He was a decent person, though ebullient and kind of a rule-breaker. He had every bit as much persistence as she, and more courage.

What craft Old One must have had to make such a person, what ... Power. And how she hated Him, for making a joke of such a person.

Of Pham's godshatter, there was scarcely a sign. For that Ravna was very grateful. Once or twice a month he had a dreamy spell. For a day or two after he would go nuts with some new project, often something he couldn't clearly explain. But it wasn't getting worse; he wasn't drifting away from her.

"And the godshatter may save us in the end," he would say when she had the courage to ask him about it. "No, I don't know how." He tapped his forehead. "It's still god's own crowded attic up here. "It's more than memory. Sometimes it needs all my mind to think with and there's no room left for self-awareness, and afterwards I can't explain, but... sometimes I have a glimmer. Whatever Jefri's parents brought to the Tines' world: it can hurt the Blight. Call it an antidote -- better yet, a countermeasure. Something taken from the Perversion as it was aborning in the Straumli lab. Something the Perversion didn't even suspect was gone until much later."

Ravna sighed. It was hard to imagine good news that was also so frightening. "The Straumers could sneak something like that right out from the Perversion's heart?"