A Long Distance Love Affair

Text copyright © 2012 Mary-Ellen McLean

All rights reserved. 

Table of Contents

Chapter 1:
 
The Awakening

Chapter 2:
 
Swimming on a Tide of Rapture

Chapter 3:
 
Sharing Experiences Apart

Chapter 4:
 
Almost Drowning

Chapter 5:
 
Longing & Languishing

Chapter 6:
 
Wild Nights

Chapter 7:
 
Too many ‘too’s’

“For I would rather owner be of thee one hour

Than all else ever.”

Dear James

What a thrill our meeting up was.  When you called me last week to say you’d be in town and would I like to meet you for coffee I tried to play all calm and collected on the phone but inside I was delirious with joy. 

And then for us to meet and for it to turn into a three hour passionate declaration of feelings and wished for possibilities – well I’m still walking on air at the thought of this happening.

I’ve harboured a secret passion for you for so long.  Intellectually I was very aware of how ridiculous and pointless it all was given that we were both married, but emotionally I just couldn’t help it.  When we worked at the same place  I quietly watched you (drank you in with my eyes more like it) and as I grew to know more about you, the more I liked you as a person.  That was an added bonus…  I caught you watching me too from time to time and that unnerved me even more. 

When I left the job (and the state and my husband) after a few years it was with much regret that I thought I would never see you again, even though we just saw ourselves as colleagues.         

And now to meet you again and in such different circumstances and for you to seek me out while you were in Melbourne and tell me that you have wanted me for so long!  I can’t believe that I’m not dreaming.....

What I would like to do just now is to stroke your cheek with the back of my hand and to cover your beautiful face with soft kisses. 

I’d also love you to be just holding me in your arms. 

Anna

Dear James

Thank you for the trouble you've taken to set this email system up and for your call last night. 

Even though we are thousands of miles apart, you're unleashing deep well springs of feeling in me and it just pours out through my fingers into these emails.

Speaking of passion...you're on my mind last thing at night and first thing in the morning (and pretty well all the day too...).  I try to read you out of my consciousness at night but you're very persistent.  I hope I can bring you whatever it is you're looking for in me.  I hope I will bring you some happiness.  I want to give you the world.  I want to kiss you from your eyelids to your toes.  I want to hold your hand to my cheek and turn my face to softly kiss your palm.  I'm overflowing with affection for you.  I am deeply appreciative of your calls to me:

"For I had rather owner be

Of thee one hour, than all else ever."

Anna

Most desired one

I know you're won't be reading this for a while, but I like to talk to you anyway.  I'm going to try really hard not to write again until you're back from overseas.  So I'll just let myself go here to compensate.

I can't tell you how excited I am at the growing prospect of intimacy with you.  I feel that:

"Now I can break my fast, dine, sup and sleep

Upon the very naked name of Love."

I think I have the potential to be your sexual match...certainly the willingness is there to keep trying until I am.

I hope I'll be able to take you to depths of tenderness and passion that you've never experienced before.

I hope you're getting to know me now and to expect some moments of insight, grand declarations, a tender thought or an agonized outpouring as par for the course from me.  You (fortunately or otherwise) are the chosen vehicle of my desires and there are a lot of them...(my desires I mean.)

You evoke great sexual passion in me already.  You have a way of saying 'mmmm' that just sends me into ecstasies.  All you'll have to do is put your lips to my ear and say this....and I'll be a complete goner.

I appear to be focussing a lot on sex here.  I hope you understand from my past correspondence with you that that is not all there is to me, but it appears to be dominating me just now.  I need you to put me out of my misery....so I can get on with things... I'm in danger of being a victim of spontaneous combustion.  I'm burning with desire for you.

I hope you have a relaxing break.  I'm missing you already.  I love the thoughtfulness of the phone calls you've made to me.

Your adoring Anna

My heart's delight

I'm feeling very passionately moved by your phone calls yesterday, especially by your expressed concern for me.  I thank you for that so much.  Try not to worry though.  I understand the limitations perfectly (we live in different states, it will be difficult to get together and yes you are married) yet still want more than ever to pursue this 'thing' between us no matter where it may lead.  If there are tears at the end of it then they'll be worth the journey that will have inevitably led there.  I'm fully aware of the dangers yet still am willing to embark.

I'm feeling very beautiful today (may not look it but feeling it nonetheless).  It's coming from an inner glow you've created in me.  You enchant me and warm me and fill me.  I feel so blessed (and honoured!) that you've come into my life.  Physical union between us will be, for me, a union with my soul.  It won't be just my body moving in unison with you but my whole being.  If that happens for you too then what divine bliss is in store for us!

You have my heart in thrall!

I'm so looking forward to touching you and kissing your beautiful face and talking to you and exploring you and discovering you in more relaxed surroundings and time frames.  I would wait forever for this opportunity.

But I hope it comes soon or there won't be any shower gel left....The only trouble with gel as opposed to soap, is that you can't pretend that it's slipped out of your hands to give you an opportunity to bend over and try to retrieve it (with much delay and difficulty of course....)

Your adoring and appreciative Anna

Heart's desire

Thank you for your lovely long message.  I'm so glad that you have reassured me that periods of silence mean nothing.  I do start to worry about this stuff especially after I've laid myself bare to you then feel embarrassed and ridiculous that I've done this when there's no response from you.  I'm worried some times that I go too far or make you feel uncomfortable.  But it's hard to know given the limited communication channels we're operating in.  We're both in a difficult position here, not getting feedback and reassurance at the levels or the timeliness that we probably need to make things feel as if they're travelling OK.