A Flame To Bear (Fire Bear Shifters 4) (8 page)

“Bailey…” Trevor said, letting his voice trail off. He seemed to be fishing for the right words to say to make this better. But nothing could make it better. He had lied to her. He had let her down.

Bailey raised her finger and pointed at the door. “Get out,” she said.

Trevor’s face fell. “Bailey, please,” he said.

“Get out,” she repeated, her voice hard and unfeeling.

Trevor looked like he was considering protesting again, but then he set his face in a hard line. “Fine,” he said.

He stormed into the bathroom and grabbed a towel, then wrapped it around his waist. He didn’t bother to grab the tennis shoes he’d left by the door earlier. He just snatched his keys from the hotel dresser and left the room without another look at Bailey, slamming the door behind him.

With the sound of the door’s slam reverberating in her ear, Bailey sat down gingerly on the edge of the bed. The takeout boxes were smashed as a flat as pancakes by the weight Trevor’s bear had put on them. On the television, the screen remained frozen with the scene of the car explosion.

An explosion.

It now seemed like the perfect analogy for what the last week of Bailey’s life had been like. What had she been thinking, believing that she could actually change her life? Had she really been considering moving cross country for Trevor’s sake, just hours earlier? What an idiot she’d been. These kinds of things only worked out in movies.

Bailey glanced at the overnight FedEx envelope sitting on the hotel desk. She still hadn’t opened it, but she already knew what it held. She stood, walked over to grab the envelope, and tore it open. She peered inside to confirm that it contained her passport and credit card. Bailey set her lips in a determined line, and grabbed her room key. She would go the hotel’s business center right now, and book the next available flight back to D.C. The idea that her life could change had been fun while it lasted, but it was time to get back to reality.

Trevor ignored the strange looks he received from the front desk attendant as he walked through the hotel lobby with only a towel wrapped around his waist. He realized halfway to the front door that he'd forgotten his shoes, but no way in hell was he going back to get them. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt this angry about a girl. He couldn't believe the way that Bailey had reacted. The fact that his attempt to take her skydiving had turned out to be a resounding success had given him just the boost of confidence he needed to confess to her that he happened to be a bear shifter. With all of the decisions that Bailey had made in the last week to change her life, better herself, and overcome her fears, he truly thought that she would be able to see past the strangeness of him being a shifter.

Oh, how wrong he'd been.

As he slipped into the driver's seat of his SUV, the feelings of despair overtook him in waves. He put the car in drive and started heading back to base. He knew he was in for some good-natured ribbing once he got there, too. Walking around in the middle of February with nothing on but a towel would be a dead giveaway to the rest of his clan that he’d shifted and lost his clothes.

For the entire drive, he continued to fume. He'd never before felt the way that he did about Bailey. After mating with her, he’d dared to hope that this amazing woman might actually be his fated lifemate. He'd felt connected to her, like the threads of their lives had somehow been interwoven since before they were born. But now, all he felt was emptiness. He pulled into base, and parked at the end of the parking lot closest to the bunkhouse. Maybe, just maybe, he would be lucky enough that he could sneak in and grab some clothes before anyone saw him.

He should have known better. Luck was definitely not on his side tonight. When he opened the side door to the bunkhouse, he ran smack into Zach, who just so happened to be exiting the building at the same time. Zach took one look at Trevor, and gave him the biggest scowl Trevor had ever seen on Zach's face. Which was saying something, given how prone Zach was to scowling.

“Please tell me we just installed a hot tub on base that I don't know about or something,” Zach said, narrowing his eyes. “Because if you're half naked for the reason that I think you are, then I'm going to be one angry bear.”

“Shut up,” Trevor said, trying to push past Zach.

Zach put out his arm to block Trevor's pathway. “I asked you a question, Trevor.”

“And I answered you,” Trevor said. “Shut the hell up.”

With an angry burst of strength, Trevor managed to force his way past Zach and into the bunkhouse. He knew he shouldn't be so disrespectful to the clan’s second in command. But, after the day he'd had, he couldn't be bothered to play nice with pricks like Zach. He grabbed some clothes, but before he could even get his shirt on, he felt tears starting to sting at the back of his eyelids.

“Get it together, man,” he said to himself. “She's just a girl, just like any other girl. Nothing special about her.”

But no matter how hard Trevor tried to convince himself that the little pep talk he’d just given himself was the truth, he couldn't quite make himself believe it. In a desperate attempt to keep anyone else from seeing him cry, he escaped into the shower.

As soon as Trevor made it safely into the shower and turned on the water, the tears started streaming down his face. Once they started, he couldn't stop them. He kept telling himself to man up. After all, what business did a big, tough bear shifter have with hiding out in the shower and crying like a little girl? But the harder he tried to regain control, the more the flood of tears poured out. He felt like his heart was breaking into a million tiny pieces, which, for him, was a completely foreign feeling. He’d never really been in love before. Sure, he’d had girlfriends here and there—some more serious than others. But he’d never really
loved
any of them.

Was that what this feeling was? Love? Nothing about this made sense to him. If Bailey wasn't his lifemate, then he shouldn’t feel as awful as he did right now. On the other hand, if she was his lifemate, shouldn't she have reacted a bit better to his confession of being a bear?

Trevor stayed in the shower for the better part of an hour, trying to regain control of his emotions and figure out how the hell his life had turned upside down so quickly. When he finally managed to stem the flow of tears, he stepped out of the shower. After toweling off, he threw on the T-shirt and jeans he’d grabbed earlier. He headed back to his bunk, hoping that he could manage to slip into bed without seeing anyone. Although there were no private rooms in the bunkhouse, the building had been constructed with a group much larger than six in mind. Everyone on the crew had claimed a different bunk, spread out across the expansive structure, which usually meant you could have privacy in your own bunk if you wanted it. Trevor definitely wanted privacy tonight, but it looked like he wasn’t going to get it: when he arrived at his bunk, he found Ian sitting next to it. His alpha waited patiently, drumming his finger on the solid wooden bed frame.

Trevor let out an exasperated sigh. No doubt, Zach had gone running to Ian, complaining that Trevor was shifting dangerously close to town. Ian generally led the clan with a very relaxed, laid-back attitude, but he took rogue shifting very seriously. Things could get messy if the wrong human saw one of the clan members shift and decide to report it to the police. Trevor felt a pang of guilt hit him right in the stomach. He shouldn’t have shifted in front of Bailey so soon. He barely knew her, and he had revealed his clan’s secrets to her. He had engaged in exactly the kind of reckless shifting that had brought about the demise of so many shifter clans.

“Hi, boss,” Trevor said warily, trying to keep his voice neutral.

“Hi, Trevor. Take a seat,” Ian said, wearing a serious expression on his face.

Trevor sat down and resisted the urge to start trying to explain everything. He had learned long ago that talking too much when you felt like you were in trouble never helped the situation.

“I hear you shifted,” Ian said. “Why? And did anyone see you?”

“Only one person saw me,” Trevor said, then took a deep breath. “A girl.”

Understanding dawned on Ian’s face, and he visibly relaxed. Then he started chuckling. “I take it she wasn’t too impressed with your bear, since you wound up back here wearing nothing but a towel.”

“It’s not funny,” Trevor said, and his voice cracked with emotion despite his effort to remain calm. “I really liked her. I thought she might even be fated to be my lifemate, because I had a strong connection with her that I’ve never felt with anyone else before. But when I told her that I’m a bear shifter, she didn’t even know what a shifter was. So, I showed her. I shifted in the middle of her hotel room. She got really angry and kicked me out, telling me that I’d been hiding my true self from her.”

Ian leaned back and stroked his chin. “Do you think she’ll tell anyone else what she saw?”

Trevor shrugged. “Hell if I know, but my gut instinct says she won’t. She doesn’t seem like the type of person who would go running to the cops, and she doesn’t really have any family or friends.”

Ian nodded, and continued stroking his chin. Trevor tried to keep his mouth shut and wait for his alpha to speak, but his nerves got the better of him and he started talking again.

“I’m sorry, Ian. I wouldn’t have shifted if I thought she was going to react the way she did. I met her through a rescue I did for the Red Valley Fire Department. I’d spent a few days with her, and she seemed to be everything I wanted in a girl. She’s beautiful, kind, and fun…and willing to step outside of her comfort zone. I mated with her, and felt so drawn to her that I’d thought we’d bonded as lifemates. I guess I was wrong,” Trevor said, and looked down at his hands. He could feel his eyes starting to well up again, and he desperately tried to calm his churning emotions. He couldn’t believe how vulnerable he felt right now.

“Why are you so sure that she’s
not
your lifemate?” Ian asked.

Trevor looked at Ian like he had lost his marbles. “Ian, have you been listening at all? She kicked me out of her hotel room, and she looked at me like I was a monster. If she was my lifemate, she wouldn’t have reacted like that. She would have been more understanding.”

Ian chuckled again. “I hate to break it to you, buddy, but even the lifemate bond isn’t enough to overcome the initial shock humans often feel when they discover that a man they love is a bear shifter. What makes you think that just because she reacted that way that you’re not fated to be together? Being someone’s lifemate doesn’t mean that things are always going to be perfect. It just means that you can overcome the obstacles placed in your way if you’re committed to working together.”

“I never thought about it that way,” Trevor said. “I always thought that when I found my lifemate, she would just accept me, bear and all.”

“Buddy, you’ve got a lot to learn. Don’t you remember when Charlotte first found out about my being a bear shifter? I thought for a little while there that she was going to give up on me for good. She didn’t talk to me for days. But I tried to be understanding and give her time to process everything. That’s all you can do. I know shifting seems normal to you. But try to put yourself in a human’s shoes. Shifting can be hard to understand at first, especially for someone who’s never even heard of bear shifters.”

“I guess that makes sense,” Trevor said. “But I’m not sure what to do now. She yelled at me and told me in no uncertain terms to get out, and I stormed off in a fit of anger.”

“The only thing you can do is apologize and hope that once she’s had some time to think about it, that she’ll give you another chance to explain.”

“I don’t think she’s going to give me another chance,” Trevor said. “When I left she was so angry that I’m surprised she didn’t have smoke literally coming out of her ears.”

“Give her a chance,” Ian said. “If you shifted in front of her, then it’s no surprise that she had a strong reaction. But if you show her that you’re committed to her, and that you’re going to give her all the time and space that she needs, then I think you’ll be positively surprised by her response.”

Trevor frowned. “I guess I’ll try,” he said. “Do you really think it’s possible that she’s my lifemate?”

“That’s something that only you can truly know,” Ian said. “But I’d be willing to bet by the way you’re acting that she is. I think your gut is trying to tell you something. Listen to it. To be honest, I’ve never seen you act so emotional. I’d say that’s a dead giveaway that something’s going on there.”

Trevor felt his cheeks turning red with the heat of embarrassment. “Yeah, I guess the whole situation has affected me quite strongly,” he said.

“Hey, don’t be embarrassed,” Ian said. “It’s a common thing for a bear shifter to feel a flood of emotion when they meet their lifemate.”

Trevor nodded and ran his fingers through his hair. “So, you’re not mad?” he asked.

Ian smiled. “I’m not mad. As I’m sure you’ve realized, Zach came to me very upset. He said that you’d put the clan at risk by shifting. It’s always a risk when you shift in front of humans, and you know that I don’t like for anyone to ever take that risk. But, sometimes, life demands that we take chances. I understand that. And one of the most important chances you can ever take in this life is a chance on love. Who am I to deny that to anyone in the clan? Don’t let Zach’s grumpiness get to you. He’s got his own set of issues to deal with. You know that.”

Ian stood and thumped Trevor’s shoulder. “I’m going to get some rest. Let me know what you decide to do about the girl.”

“Thanks,” Trevor said. He felt relief rushing through him at his alpha’s words, and a strange stirring of hope as well. The despair of leaving Bailey behind in that hotel room had been the emptiest feeling he’d ever felt. But the thought that maybe it hadn’t been the end gave him a renewed sense of purpose. First thing tomorrow morning, he would go back to Bailey’s hotel room and lay his heart on the line for her. He would explain everything about shifters to her, including lifemates—and the fact that he believed she was fated to be his lifemate. Then the ball would be in her court. Maybe it would take some time, but, like Ian said—if they were meant to be together, then hopefully she would eventually accept who he was.

All he could do was hope.