A Flawed Heart (11 page)

“Claire, you’re the only one…”

As I kiss him I feel myself getting ready to climax. I can’t
breathe. I want to scream. I feel the pressure building, and I say his name as
he slips his hand under me, to the small of my back. He rocks my body up until
I’m straddling him, and takes my nipple into his mouth. I slide myself up and
down on his length, enjoying the control this position brings.

“Ah, shit. Fuck. Come for me, Claire.”

He bites down on my nipple and I feel myself explode. I dig
my fingernails into his scalp and fist my hands into his hair. He throws me
back down and pushes my knees up near my shoulders. He pumps into me, over and
over, until I hear him groan my name as he reaches his own release.

Then he slumps over next to me and pulls me into his side.
We lie there—silent, panting, and covered in sweat.

“Was that good?” he asks after a few minutes.

“Are you kidding me? That was…I can’t even…”

He laughs and kisses my cheek. I’m overcome with exhaustion
and I let my eyes close as I bury my nose in Jason’s skin.

Chapter Six

I open my eyes to find myself in an unfamiliar place. I feel
disoriented, and pull the sheet back to take in my surroundings. My eyes are
fuzzy with sleep. A blurry object becomes a guitar, and I realize I’m not in my
apartment. A muscular arm is draped across my belly, and the man it’s attached
to
is
breathing evenly into my hair. I hear the sound
of a door opening and footsteps.

“Jason? Jay, are you awake? It’s so nice out. Are you awake?”
The person behind the door begins to knock.

It’s Lydia, and I’m in her brother’s bed.

“
Mmmm
…what the
fuck?
Lydia? Go away.”

Jason slides his hand away from my middle. I’m afraid to
roll over and look at him. I feel shy and awkward in spite of the fact that we
slept together last night
.
He sighs and runs his hand up my arm, giving
me goose bumps in the sweltering room. I tilt my head over my shoulder, and
look back at the man who is currently spooning me and dragging himself out from
slumber.

“Did you sleep okay, baby? Why the fuck is it so hot in
here?” His voice is deep and raspy.

Lydia bangs on the door again. “I’m coming in.”

I yank the sheet around me, and Jason chuckles at my
reaction. Lydia bursts in, looks at us in bed together, and then stops—frozen
to the ground like a tiny, stone angel.

“Oh, shit."” She puts her hand up to her mouth to cover
her shocked expression. “I was wondering where you two disappeared to. I should’ve
known I’d find the little songbirds here.”

“Can I fucking help you? What the hell time is it?” Jason
clears his throat and squints at the alarm clock.

She crosses the room, pushes back the curtain, and throws
the window open. I
squint
my eyes, averse to the
bright light, and pull the covers over my face. Jason ducks underneath with me,
shielding his own eyes from the harsh daylight. That’s when I realize I’m
completely naked—and so is he.

I hold my forearm across my breasts, even though modesty at
this point is a little silly. Jason has one eye half open, the other squeezed
shut. He’s disheveled appearance makes me flash back on all the things he did
to my body last night, and my face gets hot in the already steamy room. He
adjusts to the light and his gaze moves down my body. He licks his lips as he
takes in my nakedness in the light. There is no place for me to hide. I avert
my eyes, embarrassed about how vulnerable I am—in his bed, with his sister on
the other side of the sheet. As I look at him, I admire the art that covers his
bare body. Each piece tells a story—and it makes me want to learn more about
him. When I look lower, I’m treated to the sight of Jason’s enormous morning
wood. I gasp out loud at the sight of it, and Jason gives me a grin, brushing
the hair from my face as I giggle.

“Ah-hem.
Can I interrupt you two
for one minute? Jesus.”

Jason pulls the sheet back, and together we peek out at
Lydia.

“The reason I’m here, waking you up at ten o’clock, is
because its eighty degrees and sunny right now. The high today is going to be
ninety-fucking-two.” Lydia is beaming.

I’m lost as to why this is a big deal, and, judging by Jason’s
confused expression, so is he.

“It’s Indian summer! We’re going to the quarry in
Westchester today to have a picnic and go swimming. Don’t try to argue with me.
There are precious few nice days left before the ungodly New York winter, and I
will not allow them to be wasted.”

“Lydia—”

“I said no arguing, brother.” Her hands are on her hips and
she’s tapping her foot. When she wants to have fun, she takes no prisoners.

“Claire, my dear,
get
up and get
dressed. You and I are going home so we can clean up and get our stuff. I
stayed at Kat’s place last night. The three of us can pick up food for the
picnic on the way. Jason, we’ll meet you and Ben at the quarry.”

She walks out the door.
“…and gross boner,
Jason.
Put some fucking pants on,” she shouts back over her shoulder.

The sheet that was covering us has drifted down to Jason’s
hip, and the deep V of his muscular abdomen is visible. I fight the urge to
trace my finger along it. His hands are laced behind his head, and his hard-on
juts out from under the sheet. He seems so comfortable, so at ease, and I’m balled
up in his sheets, freaking out. The curtain billows in the warm breeze, and it
cools Jason’s room. Lydia is right. It’s a beautiful day.

“I guess I should get going.” I sit
up,
keeping myself covered, and look around the bedroom floor for my clothes.

Jason takes a deep breath and blows it out. A soft smile
plays on his lips. “Do you have any idea how beautiful you look right now?
Wrapped in my sheet…in my bed?
So beautiful.”
He grabs
my elbow and pulls me down into his embrace. I press my cheek to his chest and
he kisses the top of my head. “I’m really happy about last night. I want you to
know that. I feel…it was just…” He struggles with what to say, and my heart
warms.

“I’m happy, too.”

“I’d like to see you again tonight after work, if you’re
free,” he whispers into my hair.

“I have to work from three to eight, so maybe after that?”

“Yeah, okay. Do you want to meet me at my rehearsal space?”

“Okay.” I feel my face heat and I try to curb the grin that’s
fighting its way across my lips.

He slips out from underneath the sheet and my eyes nearly
pop out of my head as Jason’s perfect, naked body gathers my panties and
clothes from the floor. He tosses them to me but holds my
bra
in
his hand, running the lace between his fingers.

“Do you have more underwear like this?” His expression is
devious and hopeful.

“Yes. I have
a lot
more underwear like that.”

His mouth falls open as I slip my panties on under the
sheet. He places my bra on the bed and eyes me as I reach for it, exposing my
breasts to him. He brings the fingers of his right hand up to his lips and runs
them along his jaw as he watches me put my bra on. I push the sheet back and
stand, more comfortable now that I’m covered up a bit.

“Since it seems like we’re going to be having lunch at the
quarry today, what would you like me to get for you at the market?” I pull my
jeans up and slide my shirt over my head, thankful that Lydia is driving, and I
won’t have to walk in the heat in this outfit.

Still completely naked, he walks over to me. His gaze roams
my body as he speaks. “You can get me a roast beef sandwich, with pepper jack
cheese—lettuce, tomato, mayo—some bar-b-
que
chips,
and a coke. Can you remember all that?” He puts his hands at my waist, his cock
pressing against my stomach.

He towers over me and his shoulder is at my lips. I look up
at him and his sleepy eyes burn into mine. I swallow hard and my breath
quickens. I sigh, and press my lips to his shoulder, tasting his sweat from
last night. He tilts my chin up with his long fingers, and I’m smothered by the
intensity of his stare. He furrows his brow and kisses me with passion.

“Claire! Come on. Let’s go!” Lydia shouts at us again from
the kitchen. “You guys are going to see each other in like an hour, you know
that, right? Give Claire your keys please, Jason. I’m borrowing your car. Get a
ride with Ben.”

I push against his broad chest with my fingertips to break
the kiss. He turns to his nightstand and retrieves his car keys. He dangles
them in front of me, his mouth turned up in a smile.

“I’ll see you later.” I grab the keys and my bag, and leave
his room without looking back.

Lydia and I walk out into the gorgeous, late summer day.
Jason’s car chirps as she unlocks it and we get in. I blush as the events of
last night play through my mind. Lydia rolls down the windows and fiddles with
Jason’s iPod.

After
stopping at our apartment to change, we pick up Kat and head out of town. Kat
has chosen to take over the backseat and falls asleep as soon as we hit the
road.

“We got in late last night,” Lydia explains. “So, listen. I
know I was unfair to you when I asked you to stay away from Jason, but I’m
afraid that if things don’t go well, you’ll move out and you won’t want to be
my friend anymore. It was selfish of me to make you promise not to see him, but
I do think you should be…careful. I don’t want anyone to get hurt.”

“I get it. I didn’t mean for this to happen, but I…I like
him. I don’t think there’s a way for me to not try this. He’s amazing.” I shake
my head as I try to make this make sense to Lydia.

“I know you’re attracted to him, Claire. That’s obvious. But
I think you know he has
a lot
of shit in his heart. He has this darkness
to him.”

“You know that I’ve been through pain, too. I don’t know
everything about Jason, but maybe I can help him.
If he lets
me in.”

“I hope so. I really hope so.”

I’m not sure if she’s warning me for my benefit, or Jason’s,
or hers, but I have respect for the fact that she loves her brother so much.

We trade the roads of the city for the winding Hutchinson
River Parkway. Being in the country reminds me of home, and melancholy
overcomes me.

We enter Westchester County, and just off our exit is a
little market where we stop. We place our orders at the deli counter, and Lydia
knows what Jason wants without me having to tell her. She places all the
groceries in a little cooler picnic basket thing, and we get back in the car. I
sit back and stare out the window. The road to the quarry is lined with trees,
and the leaves of some are beginning to yellow as fall approaches. The colors
blur together as Lydia pushes the speed limit. I breathe in the sweet smell of
the countryside, and run my hands through my hair, thinking of Jason’s hands on
my body, his mouth against mine, his hips pushing into me, his skin inside of
me…

Lydia takes a swift left and we leave the paved road for a
dirt one. She slows her speed and we wind through the woods, emerging into a
clearing. I see the huge, tree lined, black walls of the rock quarry reflected
in the still and dark water. Alana’s car is already there. We park next to it
and get out, but I don’t see her or Ben or Jason. I help Lydia and Kat with the
cooler and the blanket, and we walk down a steep path to small, shaded
clearing. Lydia spreads out the blanket. We sit down, and I light a cigarette.

“It’s so beautiful here.”

“Yeah, we found this place last summer. The water’s really
cold, but it’s so peaceful, so quiet.”

I hear a high-pitched squeal and a booming laugh. I jump,
startled by the sound.

“I guess it’s not always quiet. Relax, Claire. They’re cliff
jumping. Look.” She points to the far right side of the quarry and I see three
figures. I can make out Alana floundering in the water. Ben’s enormous figure
stands at the edge of the cliff, shirtless and shaking with laughter. Jason
sits just behind Ben, his legs bent in front of him, elbows resting on his
knees. The anticipation of being near him ripples up my spine even though we
were together just this morning.

“Jeez. Is that dangerous? It looks high up.”

“It’s about thirty feet. You have to be careful how you
land. It’s scary as shit, I’m not
gonna
lie to you,
but it’s a rush. The quarry is super deep, so there’s no chance of you hitting
bottom, and its mineral water, so there’s no fish. You want to do it?”

“I don’t know.”

“You can do it from a lower height if you want. You see
right there? That’s about fifteen feet. It’s not as scary. Come on.”

She grabs my hand, pulls me up, and then walks beside Kat. I
hear a splash and see that Ben has joined Alana in the water. Jason hasn’t
moved. He raises his hand and waves. I lift up my hand and wave back. Even
across this body of water, I feel pulled to him. Our connection has only
intensified now that I’ve been with him.

We wind up a foot beaten path, and I’ve started to sweat in
the heat. The sun is blaring down from the highest point in the sky, and I’ll
be thankful once I’m in the cool water. I hear Ben’s voice getting louder as we
get closer.

“I did
not
push
you! It’s not my fault you’re a klutz.”

“You’re a jerk! I hate you, Ben. Seriously, I do,” Alana
says.

“Sure you do, babe.”

We round a bend in the path and come face to face with our
friends. I look to Jason immediately. I see the feelings in my heart on his
face—relief, happiness, excitement, and anxiety. He stands and walks toward me.
His trim, fit body causes my mouth to water. He’s wearing navy board shorts and
no shirt, and his smile widens as he approaches. He puts his hand at small of
my back and looks down at me with a tempest in his eyes.