Read A Framework for Understanding Poverty Online
Authors: Ruby K. Payne
When the focus is "I'll tell you what to do and when," the student is unable to move from dependence to independence, remaining at the level of dependence.
BEHAVIOR ANALYSIS
Mentally, or in writing, the educator is advised to first answer certain questions about the behavior. When these questions are answered, they lead to the strategies that will most help the student.
BEHAVIOR ANALYSIS
1. What kinds of behaviors does a child need to be successful?
2. Does the child have the resources to develop those behaviors?
3. Will it help to contact parent(s)? Are resources available through them? What resources are available through the school/district
4. How will behaviors be taught?
5. What are other choices the child could make?
6. What will help the child repeat the successful behavior?
The following chart indicates possible explanations of behaviors, along with suggested interventions.
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PARTICIPATION OF THE STUDENT
While the teacher or administrator is analyzing, the student must analyze as well. To help the student do so, this four-part questionnaire is given to the student for completion. This has been used with students as young as second semester of first grade. Children in poverty have the most difficulty with Question #3. Basically, they see no other choices available than the one they have made.
In going over the sheet with the student, the educator is urged to discuss other choices that could have been made. Students often know only one choice. They don't have access to another way to deal with the situation. For example, if I slam my finger in the car door, I can cry, cuss, hit the car, be silent, kick the tire, laugh, stoically open the car door, groan, etc. I have a wide variety of choices.
THE LANGUAGE OF NEGOTIATION
One of the biggest issues with students from poverty is the fact that many children in poverty must function as their own parents. They parent themselves and others-often younger siblings. In many instances they also act as parent to the adult in the household.
Inside virtually everyone's head are three internal voices that guide the individual. These voices are the child voice, the adult voice, and the parent voice. It has been my observation that individuals who have become their own parent quite young do not have an internal adult voice. They have a child voice and a parent voice, but not an adult voice.
An internal adult voice allows for negotiation. This voice provides the language of negotiation and allows issues to be examined in a non-threatening way.
Educators tend to speak to students in a parent voice, particularly in discipline situations. To the student who is already functioning as a parent, this is unbearable. Almost immediately, the situation is exacerbated beyond the original incident. The tendency for educators to use the parent voice with students who are poor is based on the assumption that a lack of resources must indicate a lack of intelligence. Students and parents in poverty are very offended by this.
When the parent voice is used with a student who is already a parent in many ways, the outcome is anger. The student is angry because anger is based on fear. What the parent voice forces the student to do is use either the child voice or the parent voice. If the student uses the parent voice, which could sound sarcastic in this context, the student will get in trouble. If the student uses the child voice, he/she will feel helpless and therefore at the mercy of the adult. Many students choose to use the parent voice because it is less frightening than memories connected with being helpless.
Part of the reality of poverty is the language of survival. There are simply not enough resources for people in poverty to engage in a discussion of them. For example, if there are five hot dogs and five people, the distribution of the food is fairly clear. The condiments for the hot dogs are going to be limited, so the discussion about their distribution will be fairly limited as well. Contrast that, for example, with a middle-class household where the discussion will be about how many hot dogs, what should go on the hot dog, how much of each ingredient, etc. Thus the ability to see options and to negotiate among those options is not well developed.
To teach students to use the "language of negotiation" one must first teach them the phrases they can use. Especially beginning in fourth grade, have them use the "adult" voice in discussions. Direct-teach the notion of an adult voice, and give them phrases to use. Have them tally each time they use a phrase from the "adult" voice. There will be laughter. However, over time, if the teacher also models that voice in interactions with students, one will hear more of those kinds of questions and statements.
In addition to this strategy, several staff-development programs are available to teach peer negotiation. It is important that, as part of the negotiation, the culture of origin is not denigrated, but rather the ability to negotiate is seen as a survival tool for the work and school setting.
Adapted from the work of Eric Berne
Quit picking on me.
You don't love me.
You want me to leave.
Nobody likes (loves) me.
I hate you.
You're ugly.
THE CHILD VOICE
Defensive, victimized, emotional, whining, losing attitude, strongly negative non-verbal.
You make me sick.
It's your fault.
? Don't blame me.
She, he, did it.
You make me mad.
You made me do it.
The child voice is also playful, spontaneous, curious, etc. The phrases listed often occur in conflictual or manipulative situations and impede resolution.
THE PARENT VOICE * **
Authoritative, directive, judgmental, evaluative, win-lose mentality, demanding, punitive, sometimes threatening.
• You shouldn't (should) do that.
It's wrong (right) to do
That's stupid, immature, out of line, ridiculous.
Life's not fair. Get busy.
You are good, bad, worthless, beautiful (any judgmental, evaluative comment).
a You do as I say.
If you weren't so , this wouldn't happen to you.
Why can't you be like ?
* The parent voice can also be very loving and supportive. The phrases listed usually occur during conflict and impede resolution.
** The internal parent voice can create shame and guilt.
THE ADULT VOICE
Non-judgmental, free of negative non-verbal, factual, often in question format, attitude of win-win.
In what ways could this be resolved?
• I would like to recommend
What are choices in this situation?
I am comfortable (uncomfortable) with
Options that could be considered are
These are the consequences of that choice/action