A Gentle Feuding (19 page)

W
hen Jamie entered the chamber, Sheena was asleep in the chair by the fire, still dressed, her hair flowing over the side of the chair to form a shimmering red pool on the floor. Her arms were crossed over her breasts, her feet tucked under her skirt. Had she just fallen asleep there, or was she making a deliberate point by not sleeping in the bed?

Jamie added wood to the dying fire before he sat down at Sheena’s feet to stare up at her. She looked so peaceful without the glimmer of tears in her eyes. Aye, he had seen the unshed tears, and the pain. But how to make it right with her?

He picked up the dark tresses lying on the floor and fanned them through his fingers. Their wedding day! What an utter fiasco, except for that little time together. How could she forget that time? Didn’t it matter at all?

He wasn’t going to wake her and hear more accu
sations. Enough angry words had been thrown at him that night. Colen had accused him of being ten kinds of a fool, and Aunt Lydia had had her say, as well, upbraiding him severely for letting the feud start again. But neither of them had made him admit he might have made a mistake.

It was actually Black Gawain who had made him consider the possibility. His cousin showed not a whit of remorse for what had transpired, enjoying himself on Jamie’s wedding day though Jamie no longer could. Jamie’s temper finally got the best of him, and he ordered Gawain from the hall, sick of the sight of him, sick over the fates that had turned Sheena against him again.

Sheena woke to see Jamie sitting on the floor near her, her hair entwined in his fingers. She stiffened and yanked the hair away from him.

Jamie turned to her, his eyes gleaming brightly in the firelight. He stood up and held out his hand, but she made no move to take it. He sighed. “Come to bed, lass. It has been a tiring day, and we can both use the rest.” She still didn’t move, so he added, “I’ll no’ be bothering you, if that has you worried.”

Her eyes rose slowly to meet his, and when he saw how much anger was there, he wondered again if he could ever make it right with her.

“I only waited here to tell you I’ll no’ be staying in this room with you,” she said.

“You will indeed stay here,” Jamie replied adamantly.

She glared at him. “I want the tower room repaired, Jamie!”

“Nay! Dinna force it, Sheena,” he warned her. “I’ll no’ be gossiped about as my father was whenever my mother got the sulks. I warned you ’afore there’d be no doors ’atween us.”

“You’ll sleep on the floor then!”

“I’ll sleep on the bed!”

“Then I’ll—”

“You’ll cease this blathering now!” he stormed. “I’ve said I’ll no’ bother you. Leave it be.” She seemed ready to continue shouting, and he said tiredly, “Go to sleep, lass.” He began to remove his clothes.

Sheena turned away from him and stared at the fire, still standing in the center of the room. They had both carefully refrained from mentioning the real issue. Sheena knew that if Jamie dared to try to justify his doing nothing to Black Gawain, she would say things she might regret.

Jamie wasn’t going to discuss it, he had decided. He didn’t have to explain himself to anyone. Sheena had no right to question him. If he let her sway him now on any issue, it would always be so. He couldn’t allow that. She was only a wife—albeit a beautiful, tempting curse. Be damned to her!

He lay down on the bed but couldn’t rest.

“I’ll no’ stand for this, Sheena.”

“What?” She turned to face him, and he sat up. “This anger ’atween us. This room is no place for it.”

Her eyes narrowed. “This room is the
only
place for it!” she hissed. “Or would you rather I be telling you what I think of you in front of your kin?”

“Tell me now and get it over with,” he said, bracing himself.

“You’re a coward!” she cried. “You didna dare pass fair judgment for fear your kin would cry favoritism on my behalf. You couldna bear that, to be accused of being partial to your wife. So you did what was wrong in order to save yourself that!”

“I didna do wrong, and partiality had naught to do with it, Sheena.”

“For me, nay, but for Black Gawain it did. You canna tell me otherwise.”

“Would you rather have seen your kin forced to arms?” he asked. “The atmosphere was too heated, Sheena. My kin would never have stood for a judgment against Black Gawain. Why should they? They believed him. They would never have considered the word of a Fergusson, two Fergussons, a dozen, no’ over a MacKinnion. Too many years of hatred have made it so. They believed Gawain.”

“Nay!” she cried. “If you had waited till Iain recovered, you’d have seen his story would be the same as my kinsman’s—without Iain’s having heard it. That would have been proof. You could have waited, Jamie.”

“It is done. I canna bemoan it now.”

“You could,” she said bitterly. “But you willna because you dinna care.”

“Och, Sheena, it wouldna make any difference to
change my mind. Can you no’ see that? All that matters is
further
bloodshed.”

“I see only that my father will never forgive you for the injustice you dealt my clan.”

“I saved them any more fighting!” he returned sharply. “Is that injustice?”

“So a Fergusson is never to be dealt with fairly? Is that what you’re telling me, Jamie?”

“Sheena, ’twill all take time. The feud is over, it ended when I made you my wife. I’ll no’ be starting it again, no matter what. In time, old grudges will be forgotten. We’ll even visit your father and make it right with him. It will just take time.”

“And what of Black Gawain?” she demanded. “Is he to get away with what he did?”

His face was set in a hard tine. “I’ve no’ said I agree with you that he’s guilty.”

“But he is!”

“Then if he is, I’ll deal with him in my own way!” Jamie replied in exasperation.

“Will you? Or will you just forget about it once you think I have?”

Jamie sighed. “You have to understand about Gawain, Sheena. His sister was killed in the spring, when your father saw fit to resume the feud. Gawain was—”

“What?” She cut him short. “
We
didna begin the raiding again.
You
did!”

“Och, Sheena, no more lies.”

Jamie watched the play of emotions cross her face, from hurt, gone quickly, to anger, there to stay.
He became incensed. Why was she holding on to that ridiculous claim? Was she really so ignorant of her father’s treachery?

Her blue eyes flashed dangerously, and she began to speak, but he stopped her.

“Enough is enough, Sheena,” Jamie warned darkly.

“Enough? Aye, and ’tis I who’ve had enough of you!” she cried.

Swinging his legs off the bed, he reached for her, but anger gave her the strength to jerk away. He reached for her again, and her temper exploded, knowing how futile would be her efforts to fight him off. While she had the chance, she slapped him with all the strength she had. Even when Jamie raised his hand to hit her back she regretted nothing.

But he didn’t strike her. Her eyes were shooting great sapphire-blue sparks at him, daring him, yet he couldn’t.

“Why do you hesitate?” she demanded, her voice a whip. “I dinna fear you anymore, Jamie. You couldna hurt me more than you already have.”

“I canna hit you.”

“Why not?”

His chest ached as if pressed by a great weight. “Because I think it would hurt me more than you,” he said, furious with himself for feeling that way. “Now why is that?”

She didn’t know. Her throat constricted tightly, and she didn’t understand that either. And then he
was kissing her, crushing her in a powerful embrace, and she understood at last.

No sooner had the kiss begun than there was hammering at the door. Jamie broke away and wrapped himself in his plaid before bellowing, “Enter!” After the irascible welcome, the entering was most hesitant.

Sheena sank down on the bed, dazed. She was amazed to feel her anger vanquished by the simple touch of Jamie’s lips. How was that possible?

“I didna want to be disturbing you, but ’twas necessary,” Colen was saying to Jamie.

The portentous tone drew Sheena’s full attention.

“Be done with it, lad,” Jamie prompted when he saw Colen’s hesitation.

“There’s been a raid, Jamie. Hamish and Jock were wounded, and it doesna look as if Hamish will recover.”

Jamie’s face turned to stone. “How many livestock lifted?”

“None. All were killed, and the croft fired.”

Sheena drew her breath in sharply as Jamie’s eyes pierced her. She knew what conclusion he had drawn.

“Nay!” she cried, coming off the bed to stand before him. “Nay, he wouldna have done that.”

“But he did,” Jamie said. “’Tis the same as in the spring—no’ a common raid, but slaughter and perverse destruction. And I let it happen. I didna think he would have the effrontery to exact revenge for
what happened today, so I put no extra guards around.”

“But you’re wrong, Jamie!”

He turned to Colen again. “How many in the attack?”

“Jock swears to at least half a dozen.”

“Did he see them well?”

There was a lengthy silence before Colen mumbled, “Well enough.”

“Then tell my wife, if you will, the colors they wore,” Jamie commanded.

Her eyes pleaded with Colen, but he could not lie. “I’m sorry, lass, but the colors were indeed your father’s. I wish I could tell you different.”

She looked at the two of them, Colen doleful, Jamie holding on to his emotions tightly.

“Your kinsman was mistaken!” she raged at them. “And you’re detestable, both of you, to think otherwise!”

“Leave us and ready my horse!” Jamie ordered Colen.

“You canna do this, Jamie. You canna ride against my clan!” she shouted at him.

“You are presuming to know my intention,” he replied harshly, turning to dress.

“I suppose you feel your father was justified?” he asked her after a silence.

“I didna say that. But put yourself in his place. If my father hadna given you justice where it was deserving, would you have sought justice on your own?” He glared at her, and she added bitterly, “You
would have, and you know it. But my father canna afford to, and you know that, too. He wanted no more of this feud. He did everything he could to protect himself against it.”

“You forget the alliances he’s made through your sisters. They were all wed soon after you were banished, I was told. Your father may feel he now has the strength to continue the feud against me.”

“Then why did he give me to you as wife?”

“I forced him to it!”

“Did you?” she shouted. “Then what of the strength you say he has now? If he is so powerful that he can fight you now, Jamie, then he would have fought you then. Instead, he agreed. And he argued till he was blue in the face to get me to agree. I wish to God I had defied him!”

“I’m beginning to wish you had, too!” Jamie retorted furiously, before storming out of the room.

S
heena woke the next morning to find herself alone. She pulled herself up to a sitting position, but she didn’t have the will to do any more than that. She just sat there. Her eyes hurt, for she had cried herself to sleep. Her whole body seemed to hurt from the terrible sobs that had racked her.

A pointless thing, crying. It didn’t change anything. And it certainly didn’t make her feel better.

She stared out the window at the dismal sky, dark with clouds. Morning, and Jamie not returned. So he had gone to Angusshire. It was daylight now. The MacKinnion always struck in daylight. Was he attacking Tower Esk at that very moment?

A horrible image of a bloody battle came to mind, and she shook her head against it. But the image would not go away, and she began to hear screams and cries as well. Her father’s. Niall’s.

Her hands covered her ears, and she leaped off
the bed and paced furiously to drive the image away. She couldn’t stand not knowing what was happening at home. And if the agony of wondering was not terrible enough, she would have to be waiting when Jamie returned, his hands bloody. She would have to face him, knowing what he’d done to her family.

She wouldn’t! She would leave while he was gone. No one would dare stop her this time. She was The MacKinnion’s wife. She would take a horse and be well away before he returned.

But where would she go? She couldn’t ride straight for home and risk coming upon Jamie. She would go to Aberdeen and her Aunt Erminia. That was better. Together they would find out if she still had a home to return to, and a family.

She opened the door but stopped short, finding the servant Gertie there, about to knock.

“I’ve brought yer things, lass,” Gertie explained as she entered. “I thought yer might like to be changing ’afore yer come down to greet the guests.”

“Guests?”

“Aye, they’ve been arriving all morning,” Gertie said as she laid the gowns on the still-rumpled bed, tsk, tsking as she did so. “Did yer only just awake, lass? ’Tis late, you know.”

Sheena frowned. “How late?”

“Och, nearly noon it is. We were beginning to wonder if yer’d be coming down or no’. Doris was saying as how yer might be ’afeared to, after what happened. But I told her yer’ve more spunk than that. It wasna yer doing, what happened.”

Wasn’t it? Sheena thought ruefully. If Jamie hadn’t wanted her so badly, would he have kept her at Castle Kinnion? Would he have wed her? There would have been no wedding, and no “accident,” as Jamie called it. Her father would be safe at Tower Esk, and she would have been returned to Aberdeen. Perhaps she might not have been whisked away by Colen in the first place. It was all her fault, the fault of her looks. Her beauty had always been a curse—would it always be so?

But here was a kindly soul who didn’t blame her, even though she blamed herself.

“Will yer be wearing this lovely blue gown, lass? It do bring out the color of yer hair, making it glow as if ’twere on fire.”

Sheena looked at the gowns, Lydia’s lovely ones and her own threadbare one. “I’ll wear the green.” It was her own.

Gertie’s look registered her disapproval. “As yer wish,” she said tightly. “But if yer dinna mind my saying so, yer should be telling the laird ’tis high time he was seeing to yer needs. “Tis no’ as if he doesna hae cloth to spare and wouldna give it gladly.”

“’Tis no’ for me to be asking,” Sheena said.

“Och, now, who has more right than yerself, eh?” Gertie clucked. “’Tis his wife yer are, or hae yer forgotten that sae soon?”

“I didna forget.”

Gertie didn’t hear, or chose to ignore, the bitterness in Sheena’s voice. “Well, then, yer must be dressing as befits the wife of a Highland laird. Great
beastie that he is. Sir Jamie doesna ken the needs of a wife. Yer could start by insisting he send for yer own lovely things. I’m sure yer father would no’ begrudge yer, even after what’s happened.”

“I’d rather no’ be discussing this right now, Gertie, if you dinna mind.”

“Of course, lassie. I’ll be going.”

“Gertie, wait.” Sheena stopped her. “You said there are guests?”

“Aye, there are indeed. Keiths and MacDonoughs hae arrived, and Gregorys and Martins will nae doubt come ’afore the end of the day.”

Sheena turned sickly pale. Those were clans aligned with the MacKinnions, clans Jamie could call on for war. So he had not attacked yet, but was instead planning a full-scale slaughter! Why else would he send for all those clans?

“What is amiss, lass?” Gertie asked worriedly.

“He…he’s brought them all here to…” She stopped herself from going too far.

Gertie clucked again, misunderstanding Sheena’s distress. “Och, you’ve naught to fear meeting friends of the MacKinnions. Why, Thais is sae eager to meet yer, ’twas she who sent me up here to see how soon yer’d be coming down.”

“Thais?”

“Sir Jamie’s younger sister,” Gertie explained. “Fair fashed she was wi’ him, too, for no’ waiting till she and her husband arrived.”

Sheena was going to be wretchedly sick. Not waiting? So he had attacked after all!

“Och, what did I say, lass?” Gertie was at her side in an instant. “Yer wait right here, and I’ll be getting Sir Jamie.”

“He’s
here?
”

“Where else would he be, wi’ sae many wedding guests to attend?”

“Wedding…” Sheena was beside herself with relief. “Why did you no’ say so, Gertie? I thought the guests were…”

“Och, the celebrating will go on for days. Sir Jamie didna tell yer he’s invited one and all to meet his new bride?”

“Nay. After yesterday…”

“Dinna fash yerself about yesterday, lassie,” Gertie said firmly. “Sir Jamie’s no’ going to let it spoil the wedding, and neither should yerself.”

“When did Jamie return?”

“He didna leave the castle, except to see what could be done for Jock and Hamish. He wasna gone long.”

“Did…Hamish…?”

Gertie patted her shoulder. “He’s holding his own, bless him. He may recover. Now are yer sure about the green gown?”

“I’ll wear the blue after all,” Sheena conceded absentmindedly.

She had to talk to Jamie. This was a reprieve, but maybe only because so many guests had been invited and he could hardly turn them away. But when they left? She had to know what Jamie meant to do.