A Heart Decision (2 page)

Sabrina huffed. “Would you two stop talking about me
as if I evaporated into thin air?”

“Sorry.” Luke squeezed her soft hand and forced
himself to release it. “Your ring is beautiful, Princess.”

“Thank you.” She stared up into his eyes and a sad
smile curled one corner of her mouth. “By now, I’d think a
brilliant detective like you would’ve realized that the only thing
I ever really wanted can’t be bought.”

He dragged his gaze away, ignoring her veiled
message the same way he had for the last fifteen years. “I guess
I’d better go say hello to my mother and sisters, or I’ll never
hear the end of it.” He heaved an exaggerated sigh as he strolled
toward the raised terrace where his mom was chatting with Tyler’s
tiny, dark-haired wife, Annie.

He would do anything to be able to fulfill Sabrina’s
dreams—just as long as he could do it without hurting her. But the
possibility of that was as much a fantasy as hoping every drug
dealer in America would suddenly turn himself in.

He wasn’t holding his breath.

Besides, he owed Ben way too much not to step aside
and allow his friend to give Sabrina the family Luke didn’t dare
dream of having—
ever
.

~*~

The big oaf’s head must be filled with concrete not
to realize how she felt about him. Sabrina Fitzpatrick’s eyes swam
with unshed tears as Luke did his typical disappearing act after
her zillionth hint to make him realize she loved him.

“Let’s take a little walk.” Ben tugged her toward
the wooded edge of Tyler and Annie’s property.

Sabrina held his big hand as they strolled past the
freeform swimming pool with several large floral arrangements
floating in it. Ben’s soft manicured fingers felt so different from
Luke’s work-worn calloused ones. What did it mean that she
preferred a laborer’s hands over a CEO’s?

She gestured toward the yard. “The caterers did a
beautiful job decorating, didn’t they?”

The ten tables scattered around the pool were
covered with pale pink linen and six crystal and sterling place
settings, shaded by large matching pastel print umbrellas.

“I’m just glad Tyler convinced Annie to hire them.”
Ben paused by one of the circulating waiters and plucked two jumbo
mushrooms stuffed with deviled crab from the man’s silver tray
along with a couple of miniature spinach and bacon quiches.

“Amen to that.” Sabrina couldn’t imagine her
sister-in-law pulling this party off by herself with ten-week-old
Sam and seven-year-old Mandy and Noah underfoot.

Ben handed Sabrina a napkin bearing a mushroom and a
quiche as he glanced back to the terrace. “Sweetheart, I know I
suggested our engagement might make Luke realize he was missing the
boat, but—”

“Yeah, well, it doesn’t look like
that’s
going to happen.”

“Exactly. Seeing as I coerced you into accepting my
ring, are you absolutely sure you want to go through with the
wedding?”

Everyone knew she’d been in love with Luke since she
was thirteen years old—everyone but him, that is. He seemed
clueless about her feelings and refused to see her any way other
than as Tyler’s kid sister.

Last October, Ben had given up waiting for Luke to
wake up and smell the coffee and proposed to her for the first
time. Even knowing Sabrina was in love with his friend, Ben had
been nagging her to accept his ring ever since.

With Tyler as her only relative, she’d spent her
whole life wishing she had a big noisy family like Luke’s.
Recently, she’d had to admit that if she ever wanted a houseful of
children, she would have to settle for someone other than the man
she’d always dreamed of marrying.

And it wasn’t as if she didn’t love Ben. She
did
—just not with the same toe-curling, heart-thumping
passion she felt for Luke.

She swallowed a mouthful of quiche and smiled up at
Ben. “Why? Are you having second thoughts about marrying me? I
understand if you—”

“No way.” He pulled her close and pressed his face
to her hair. “I’ve loved you since the day we met, so I’d rather
have a piece of your heart, than not have you at all. I just
thought maybe you’d want to wait a while longer before giving—”

“For what? Nothing’s going to change. I’ve spent
eighteen years waiting. If the big lummox hasn’t caught on to how
much I love him by now, he never will.” She bit into the stuffed
mushroom cap and scanned the yard for Luke’s raven head. He towered
above the crowd near a table laden with chilled cocktail shrimp and
a huge cheese and fresh fruit platter.

His snowy knit polo shirt stretched over his
muscular chest and accentuated the deep tan and dark chocolate eyes
that screamed his Italian ancestry. The sight of him made her
insides melt.

Sliding her arms around Ben’s waist, she pressed her
cheek against the soft, gray silk sports shirt covering his
rock-hard torso and watched Luke scarf down a plateful of assorted
hors d’oeuvres.

They were both amazing men, but it was like
comparing Gruyère and mozzarella. There was no question they were
both delicious cheeses, but any girl from the ‘
the Burg
’ in
south Trenton would invariably choose pizza over fondue.

It’d been a week since she’d agreed to marry Ben,
and being the understanding man he was, he still hadn’t pressured
her to sleep with him. Although, she wasn’t certain whether his
restraint should be attributed to patience or fear she would change
her mind after spending the night with him.

He brushed his lips over her forehead and whispered,
“I simply can’t help wondering if you said yes to my proposal
simply to make Luke jealous.”

“Well, thank you very much. Do you really think I’d
do something that calculating?”

“No.” He hugged her tightly. “I’m sorry. Chalk it up
to me being an envious son-of-a-bitch. Half of me would like to
shove his teeth down his throat for making you love him, and the
other half is grateful he’s so determined to remain single.”

“This is exactly why I turned down your proposal so
many times. I felt like a selfish bitch, agreeing to marry you
while I’m in love with someone else. But you keep insisting you’re
in love enough for both of us. To put your mind at ease, my
acceptance had more to do with my thirtieth birthday and holding my
baby nephew.” Drawing back, she peered up at him. “I do love you,
Ben,
really
. I’m just not
in
love with you.”

“I know. And I accept that. But I’m just worried I
won’t make you hap—”

“That’s not your job. Quit trying to make life
perfect for everyone. The sooner you learn people are responsible
for their own happiness, the better off you’ll be. Seriously, Ben,
sometimes I wonder if you’re as saintly as you seem or if you just
need to be the most popular guy in town.”

“Well,”—he stepped back and dragged his gaze over
her—“seeing as I’m picturing you naked right now, I’m definitely no
saint.” He chuckled. “So maybe I should plead guilty to the
latter.”

“Oh, jeez, even when I insult you, you’re nice.”

“You can insult me all you want as long as you marry
me.”

If she married Ben, true love, and all the
exhilaration that came with the roller coaster ride called
marriage, would be lost to her forever.

Sure, there were countless pros for becoming Ben’s
wife—his humor, generosity, kindness, and tendency to indulge her.
But with pros came cons, the most worrisome one being her fear
she’d never fit into his mega-rich lifestyle.

He had a gazillion people on his payroll, socialized
with power brokers and celebrities, and he had senators on speed
dial. He lived in a luxurious penthouse in Manhattan with Thomas,
his man Friday, who’d been taking care of his personal and
chauffeuring needs since he’d graduated college.

She, on the other hand, had been born to a waitress
and an alcoholic gambler and never aspired to anything more than
having a loving husband, a big family, and a rewarding career.
She’d studied her butt off to become a pediatric nurse and loved
working with kids.

Since she had a fierce domestic and maternal streak
and valued her privacy, she didn’t want the intrusion of domestic
help in her home. Nor did she want a nursemaid raising her
children. She wanted to bathe them and tuck them into bed each
night herself.

Unfortunately, she couldn’t find the gumption to
discuss any of this with Ben. He wanted to give her the world and
asked so little in return. Which is why, when he requested she quit
her job as a school nurse so she could accompany him on his
business trips, she’d complied. It was the least she could do
seeing as she couldn’t give him her whole heart right now.

Centuries ago, people got married all the time for
reasons other than love, and over the years many of them eventually
fell for each other. She just prayed someday that would happen for
her.

BJ broke into her reverie as he handed her a
champagne flute from one of the passing waiters’ trays. “What I
don’t understand is why you’ve never told Luke how crazy you are
about him. I’m surprised you never showed up at his door in a
negligee. Then you would’ve known where you stood.”

She stared at the freshly mowed turf beneath her
white sandals. “I suppose I’ve been waiting for him to outgrow his
commitment phobia. You know how long
love ‘em and leave ‘em
Luke’s relationships all last.”

“Yeah.” He snorted. “Right up until a few seconds
before a woman invites him to meet her family.”

“At nearly thirty-three, he isn’t likely to change.
He probably knows how I feel and ignores my subtle come-ons because
he doesn’t want to hurt me.” And maybe, deep down, she’d always
known he would reject her. She lifted one shoulder. “Mostly, I
guess I’ve never wanted to give up hope he might eventually fall in
love with me.”

Ben tipped her chin up and stared into her eyes.
“Sweetheart, by marrying me, you
are
giving up hope. I don’t
want you lying in my bed, wondering if telling him would’ve made a
difference.”

She looked over at her brother and Annie laughing at
something Luke had said. The flash of his brilliant smile sent a
shower of shivers cascading down Sabrina’s back. She glanced back
at Ben and wrinkled her forehead. “Don’t you think telling him how
I feel might make things awkward between the two of you?”

Ben laughed without a hint of humor. “And you don’t
think the situation is uncomfortable the way it is? It’s now or
never, Sabrina. After December, it’ll be too late.”

“I know.” She reached up and cupped his chiseled
jaw. “I just don’t want to hurt you.”

“If you don’t resolve this now, I’m afraid you’ll
hurt me a helluva lot more later. Please. Promise me you’ll tell
him how you feel before you marry me.”

She lifted her eyebrows. “And what if Luke suddenly
decides he wants me?”

“Then I’ll wish you both a lifetime of happiness and
get rip-roaring drunk for a month.” Ben heaved a sigh and spread
his hands. “As much as losing you would tear me up, I’d survive it.
However, if you leave me once I’ve made love to you, it’ll probably
kill me.”

Samantha Riverá, the mother of one of Sabrina’s
former patients, strolled up and hugged her. “Happy Birthday.” She
smiled at Ben. “And congratulations on your engagement.”

“Thank you,” they said simultaneously.

“How’s Dani?” Sabrina asked. “She must be close to
what....fifteen?”

“She’ll be sixteen soon,” Samantha corrected. “She’s
still in remission, thank God. She and her boyfriend are giving her
father ulcers.”

“Ahh, poor Nick.” Sabrina laughed. “My brother told
me the two of you became parents again. Congratulations.”

“Thanks. Our son, Christian, and your nephew, Sam,
were born only a few weeks apart.”

“Do you have any pictures of him with—” The melodic
tinkle of spoons tapping crystal cut her off.

Samantha raised her hands and backed away, laughing.
“At times like this, three’s a crowd.”

Ben smiled down at Sabrina. “It seems your guests
would like to see us kiss.”

“Then I guess we’d better give ‘em a show and make
it a hot one.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Hot enough to make my buddy
wish he was me?”

“No. Hot enough to make me forget about him.”

~*~

Luke clenched his fists through the deafening round
of spoon tapping. His compulsion to watch while his friend dipped
Sabrina over his arm in a long, tonsil-swabbing kiss proved he had
a masochistic streak.

“The two of them will make such gorgeous blonde
babies, don’t you think?” Ben’s great-aunt squeezed Luke’s arm.

He closed his eyes against the gut-wrenching pain
the mental image of Sabrina carrying another man’s child generated.
“Yes, ma’am,” he rasped. “If they look at all like their mama,
they’ll be beautiful.”

If any woman was meant to be a mother, Sabrina was.
She loved kids so much she’d worked in the hospital’s pediatric
intensive care unit until a little over a year ago, after Tyler’s
first wife died in a car accident. Sabrina had selflessly quit her
job to take a position as a school nurse so she would be available
to take care of her niece, Mandy, during the summers and school
holidays.

Fortunately, Tyler had fallen in love with Annie,
and Mandy had gotten a new mother and stepbrother.

The music stopped, and Ty’s voice rang out over the
yard, informing everyone the caterer was ready to serve. While the
guests found seats, Ben guided Sabrina to the stone terrace where a
table had been set under the awning.

Jackson Elliott, an older and darker version of his
son Ben, seated Luke’s mom next to himself. Tyler pulled out a
chair for Annie and sat beside her, leaving three empty seats on
the other side of the table. Tyler motioned to Luke to join them.
“You’re gonna be best man, so you might as well sit here with
us.”