A Heart Decision (6 page)

“What’s the matter?”

He heaved a deep breath. “I’m so tempted to say the
hell with him and take you to bed right now. But, if I do, I’m
afraid you’ll end up hating me. I think we ought to put our
engagement on hold for a while.”

“What do you mean put it on hold? I thought we were
finally—”

“I
mean
you should stay in the guest room
again tonight.”

“Great.” A little snort escaped her as she shoved
Ben away. “Luke won’t kiss me, and you don’t want to sleep with me.
You and your pal have a real talent for making a woman feel about
as sexy as an eighty-year-old bag lady with warts.”

“Whoa.” He raised his hands. “I just told you I
want
to take you to bed. I just think, for all of our sakes,
you should try again with Luke before I do.”

Sabrina gasped. “You want me to go to bed with him,
instead?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Then, exactly what’re you suggesting?”

Ben sucked in a shuddering breath. “I don’t know.
The idea makes me sick to my stomach, but maybe sleeping with Luke
is exactly what you need to do.”

She squeezed her eyes shut. “This is way too weird.
How can you suggest something like that?”

“Can you honestly tell me you don’t
want
to
sleep with him?”

Lifting her lashes, she stared silently up at Ben,
unable to confess her deepest longing out loud. She couldn’t
remember not dreaming about Luke making love to her.

She’d only been with two men in her life. The first
had been a guy in college. After drinking too much, she’d foolishly
convinced herself that if she were no longer a virgin, Luke might
see her differently.

Big mistake.

Her second lover was Adam Chase. She’d hoped to
forget Luke in the gorgeous doctor’s arms. Instead, she simply
imagined Luke was holding her. In the end, Adam guessed her heart
wasn’t involved, which was why their relationship hadn’t worked
out.

Ben cupped her face between his hands. “Sweetheart,
if he should miraculously propose to you, would you accept?”

Her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth. How could
she answer truthfully without hurting him?

“You don’t have to say anything. I know the answer.
I don’t want my friendship with him ruined by the fact I slept with
his wife. That’s a lot for a guy to handle.”

“But
you
can handle it because
Saint
Ben
is a better man, right?”

The muscles in his throat visibly convulsed as he
swallowed. “Hell, no. It’s not a competition.”

“Everything is a pissing match between you
guys.”

“Not about this. It’s bad enough knowing you’re in
love with him. I realize what it’ll cost you to commit to a
marriage that will be, more or less, a legal friendship with
benefits. But once you marry me, there’s no going back. How do you
think I’m gonna feel if you’re thinking about him and what might’ve
been every time we make love?”

Heat flared in her cheeks at his astute
prediction.

“I want you so much I ache, Sabrina. But, frankly, I
don’t want to know what I’ll be missing if Luke decides he wants
you.”

“Except, even if he does, it won’t last. He
sabotages every one of his relationships after a couple of
months.”

“I know. And I’m ashamed to confess that’s what I’m
hoping will happen.” He raked his fingers through his short golden
hair. “Shit. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but if sleeping with
Luke will get him out of your system....” He spread his hands in a
helpless gesture. “I’m hoping you won’t end up in his bed, and I
don’t want to know if you do. But I think you need to try one more
time to, at least, get him to admit his feelings. When you’re sure
it’s hopeless with him, I’ll be waiting.”

She understood exactly how Ben felt. She wasn’t sure
she wanted to know what she was missing, either. But even one night
in Luke’s arms was better than never making love with him. And if
there was the slightest possibility Ben was right about the way
Luke felt, she had to try. If nothing else, at least maybe she
could, as Ben put it, get Luke out of her system.

“So how do you suggest I go about getting him to
admit he loves me? I can’t simply knock on his door naked and tell
him you sent me as your gift to the best man.”

Ben’s mouth curled in a half-hearted smile. “No,
definitely don’t do that. I don’t want him to have me committed to
Bellevue. Although, I probably should be.” He brushed her lips with
his. “Let me think about it. I’ll come up with something.”

She pulled her engagement ring off and held it out.
“I guess I’d better start cancelling the arrangements I started
making for our wedding.”

“No, keep your ring.”

“Ben, I can’t in good conscience get involved with
Luke if I’m engaged to you.”

“Consider us unengaged. Whether we get married or
not, I want you to keep the ring. And you should continue planning
the wedding. Either way, one of us will be standing in the groom’s
spot come December.”

The number of people who expected an invitation to
the wedding of a man as influential as BJ Elliott was intimidating.
She’d been working overtime arranging a candlelit ceremony on
Christmas Eve, much like what she helped plan for Tyler and Annie
last year, only on a much larger scale. Ben’s and her black-tie
reception would be for nearly three hundred people instead of the
sixty guests who attended her brother and Annie’s wedding.

She reluctantly shoved the diamond back on her
finger. “But Luke and I could never afford the same kind of—”

Ben pressed his fingers to her lips. “Shhh....I love
you, Sabrina. I want to give you the wedding of your dreams no
matter who you marry. The fact Luke has been hiding how he feels
about you, for God only knows how long, tells me it’s not going to
be easy to change his mind about marriage.”

“So you think the odds are in your favor?”

“Let’s say I’m hoping they are. We’ll worry about
making alterations to the wedding plans when the need arises.”

Tears welled in her eyes. She had to be crazy. Any
women in her right mind would jump at the chance to marry a
sophisticated billionaire instead of a rough undercover cop who
dealt with the dredges of humanity every day. It was a
no-brainer—like choosing between the Hope Diamond and a piece of
unpolished quartz.

Luke’s idea of a formal evening was to put on a pair
of shoes and eat off something other than a paper plate. He thought
nothing of answering the door in just his boxers and lived as if
tomorrow would never come—eating junk food by the pound and working
overtime at getting himself killed between his job and extreme
sports.

A woman would have to be an imbecile to prefer him
over Ben. Especially one who’s family had been as poor as hers had
been. She should be thrilled with the Cinderella twist in her
life.

Unfortunately, she loved Luke and wanted a
happily-ever-after with the big jerk.

~*~

“What’s with you, man?” Luke’s partner asked. “You
haven’t said three words since we got here, and you haven’t even
peeked at the talent.”

Luke shifted his gaze from Calvin Washington’s dark
face to the nearby stage where a couple of worn out,
silicon-enhanced dancers shook their overblown breasts at him to
the throbbing beat vibrating through the floor. He sipped his club
soda. “Nothin’. I’m busy watchin’ the door.”

He and Cal had come to the strip joint, hoping to
bust Enrique Suarez, a dope dealer affiliated with the Latin Kings
gang. One of their more reliable snitches had told them Suarez
planned to meet with one of his suppliers at the club and,
supposedly, had a big score going down that night.

“Watchin’ the door, huh?” Cal snorted. “Bullshit.
The day you start ignoring double-D tits like those is the day I
tell the captain you need a psych eval.”

Luke heaved a sigh and drained his glass. “Sabrina
kissed me today, okay?” He glanced at his watch, which read
one-thirty in the morning. “Well—
yesterday
, now.”

“All right! And that’s a problem?”

“Hell, yeah. She and Ben announced their engagement
at her birthday party yesterday—you know Ben,
one of my best
friends
.”

“So what? You should be celebrating, jackass. The
girl who stars in all your wet dreams has the hots for you.”

Since his friendship with his partner was completely
separate from his relationship with Tyler, Ben, or his family, Cal
was the only one he’d ever told about his secret feelings for
Sabrina.

“The hell with your buddy.” Cal waved his hand.
“Seems to me Sabrina wants you and not him. Why don’t you speak up
and marry the girl?”

“Believe me, I would if I could.”

Cal pointed one of his frankfurter-thick fingers at
him. “Don’t give me that crap about how hard it is for a cop’s wife
and kids. I’ve gone undercover for weeks at a time, the same as
you, and Darlene and I’ve been married eighteen years. She and our
three kids are doin’ just fine.”

“It’s not that simple, Cal. There’s more to it than
just protecting her from my career.”

“Such as?”

“Take my word for it. I can’t marry Sabrina—or any
other woman.”

If Luke ever told anyone why he’d condemned himself
to going through life solo, he might as well put a bullet through
his head. Either way, his life would be destroyed.

He glanced up as the door opened and Suarez strolled
in. In the week since Luke had last seen him, the bastard had
spiked his black hair and added a thick gold chain around his
scrawny throat. Was it wrong to hope the necklace was heavy enough
to drown the little cockroach if he happened to
accidentally
fall into the Delaware? Seeing as they’d been trying to nail the
scumbag for over a year, no one would cry if Suarez sank like a
slab of concrete.

“Don’t look now, but our boy just walked in with a
new do, and it looks like business has been good lately.”

Cal peeked over at Suarez who stood in front of the
stage and waited while one of the dancers shook her way over to
him. He pulled a box of over-the-counter allergy meds out of his
jacket pocket and tucked one of the blister packets into her red
sequined G-string.

“Okay.” Cal hoisted himself out of his chair. “They
sure as hell aren’t gonna make the transaction in here. I’ll cover
the street. You follow him out once he makes contact.”

After his partner slipped out the exit, Luke kept
his head down and watched Suarez wend his way to the back of the
club where a swarthy, bearded brute sat, his gaze glued to the
stage. The man responded to Suarez’s greeting without shifting his
attention from the exotic dancers.

Suarez’s gravelly voice cut through a lull in the
music. “Let’s go. I don’t have all night.”

Fuzz-face drained his glass and stood.

Luke threw a tip on the table and took the safety
off his weapon as he followed them through the exit. Outside, Cal
waved to him, crouched in the shadows between two parked cars.
Suarez followed his contact a short way down the narrow alley to a
dark blue sedan at the curb. When fuzz-face popped the trunk, the
light inside filtered past the crack and illuminated the interior
of the car.

Shit
. There was a third man behind the
wheel.

Before he could signal Cal, Luke’s partner stepped
into the road, his weapon drawn, and yelled, “Police! Hands in the
air where we can see ‘em.”

Luke dashed into position to cover Cal, and the
sedan’s engine roared to life. “Get out of the way!”

The smell of burning rubber assailed his nose as the
car peeled out, heading straight for Cal, who froze like a figure
in a wax museum.

“Oh,
fuck
!” Luke sprinted the ten yards
separating them, shouting, “Move, damn it! Move!”

He dove for his partner to shove him out of the
vehicle’s path. Today was as good a day to die as any other. And he
didn’t have a wife and three kids to worry about.

The crunch of bone registered a millisecond before
the pain. Several gunshots echoed through the alley, followed by
the sound of feet beating a retreat.

Luke groaned and lifted his head to locate Cal.
Everything went black.

~*~

The click of the bedroom door opening dragged
Sabrina out of a deep sleep. She held her hand up, shielding her
eyes from the glare of the light spilling in from the hallway.

“I’m sorry to wake you,” Ben’s silhouette
whispered.

“What’s the matter?” She yawned. Had he changed his
mind about them sleeping together?

“It’s Luke. His chief just called. A perp ran him
down with his car.”

She bolted upright and covered her mouth. “Oh, my
God, no.” Her stomach convulsed. “Was he killed?”

“No. But the chief didn’t know about his condition.
I tried getting some information from the emergency room, but they
couldn’t tell me anything. Thomas is firing up the chopper. Get
dressed.”

She swung her feet to the floor and scrambled out of
bed. “What about Luke’s mom? Did you call her?”

“No. Not until we know something more. If it’s
serious, Teresa can’t do anything to help him. And I don’t want to
upset her if it’s only a minor injury.”

This explained why Luke had given the police
department Ben’s number as his emergency contact. He hadn’t wanted
his mother getting a phone call in the middle of the night telling
her he was dead.

And Sabrina sure as hell didn’t ever want to receive
a call like that.

~*~

“No, way!” Luke sliced his good hand through the
air. “Have you lost your damn mind?” A man had only so much
restraint. He’d go crazy having the woman he’d fantasized about
night and day helping him change his underwear.

“It’s the most logical solution.” Ben pushed the
wheelchair up the temporary ramp a couple of guys from the force
had rushed to install over the steps to Luke’s back door. “She’s a
nurse with no patients now that she’s quit her job to marry me, and
you need someone to take care of you.”