A Heart Once Broken (10 page)

Sandra forced herself to smile. “I guess I should have added a little honey.”

Lena chuckled. “I'm sorry, I shouldn't tease you. Your
daett
hasn't been gone that long, and Sundays must remind you of him.”

“
Yah
, they do,” Sandra admitted.

“The Lord will be with you,” Lena said.

“Thanks for your concern,” Sandra whispered, then hurried on to the kitchen. The place was filled with women as usual. Sandra
waited a moment until there was a chance to approach the kitchen counter. Deacon Schrock's
frau
, Ruth Ann, was in charge.

“Um…I can take the unmarried men's table,” Sandra offered.

“Thank the Lord!” Ruth Ann exclaimed. “Only Rosemary has offered so far. What's wrong with the girls today? Have the unmarried men scared them all off?”

Sandra gave Ruth Ann a shy grin and lowered her head. “I don't know, but I'm up for it.”

“Then here.” Ruth Ann handed Sandra a tray filled with bowls of peanut butter and red beets.

Rosemary?
Sandra asked herself as she left the kitchen with the tray. Why would Rosemary offer to serve the unmarried men's table? Rosemary usually ran in the opposite direction when there was a chance to be exposed to the attentions of men. Did Rosemary wish to try for Clyde's attention again? That was a distinct possibility. Wouldn't that be a relief if Rosemary succeeded? Rosemary fit Clyde much better than Sandra did, regardless of Clyde's fears about Rosemary's liberal leanings. How dare Clyde think she would take him over Ezra Wagler, a
goot
dishwasher though he was?

Sandra took a quick glance down the stairwell. The unmarried men's table was set up in the basement, and the steps weren't wide enough for her tray with another person on the way up. The steps were empty at the moment, and Sandra moved down carefully. The men's light banter filled her ears even before Sandra stepped out onto the concrete floor. A quick glance around showed her Rosemary at the other end of the table, apparently the center of the men's attention. The girl was indeed up to something. Sandra stilled the anxiety in her chest and planted a big smile on her face.

Rosemary seemed oblivious to Sandra as her chatter continued. “There, that's my last bowl!” Rosemary proclaimed. “You won't starve until I get back.”

“Surely you're not the only pretty face we'll see today?” someone teased.

Rosemary blushed and hurried toward the basement stairs. When she looked up and caught sight of Sandra, Rosemary gasped. Guilt filled her face.

“What are you up to?” Sandra asked, in spite of herself.

Rosemary turned an even deeper red and rushed up the stairs without an answer.

Sandra's thoughts were drowned out by a chorus from the men. “Oh, here we go. We're getting something to eat after all.”

“Men!” Sandra muttered loud enough for the whole table to hear. “You are so spoiled!” But the warmth of their welcome flooded through her.

Clyde spoke above the noise. “And we are all such handsome dudes.”

Sandra glared at him and unloaded her bowls one at a time. Once she was near Ezra, Sandra paused until he looked up. Sandra gave him her sweetest smile and handed him the last bowl of peanut butter. “Here, this is especially for you.”

Ezra grinned. “My, I must be special.”

“Not fair!” several boys protested. “This is our table, too, and we get no personal service.”

Sandra kept on smiling. The men could tease all they wanted, but she had made her point and Ezra had gotten the message. She felt his gaze following her as she went back up the stairs.
Why can't Ezra just make up his mind?
Sandra asked herself again. Her smile faded when Rosemary met her on the top of the steps with her tray full again, and Sandra held the door open for her. Rosemary still had a tinge of red on her cheeks, so Sandra stopped Rosemary with her free hand. “Just a second. What's going on with you and the men down there?”

Rosemary tried to smile. “I don't know. I just felt like serving today, and…”

Sandra gave Rosemary a steady gaze. “You know that's not all the truth. You're not yourself today. You're…” Sandra let the sentence hang.

Rosemary sputtered. “You don't have to—I mean—it's my personal life, okay?”

“So why are you down there?” Sandra persisted.

Rosemary had blushed bright red again. “Look, I have to go, Sandra. They're waiting.”

Sandra removed her hand, but she didn't like this in the least. She watched Rosemary hurry down the steps. But what could Rosemary be up to? This was Rosemary, after all. Sandra knew she ought to be offering help instead of feeling these tinges of jealousy. Rosemary couldn't be after Ezra. That wasn't possible. Ezra had always been perfectly satisfied with the attentions she and Lydia had paid him. He had no other need in his life with two such offers dangling in front of his face.

So stop your worries,
Sandra told herself. She refilled her tray and this time met Rosemary at the bottom of the basement steps. Rosemary had managed to compose herself and offered a smile. Behind them the men had quieted down, their mouths full of peanut-buttered bread.

“I think with your tray they have all they need,” Rosemary said. “But I'll check later.”

“Okay.” Sandra stepped aside. So Rosemary had now taken charge. That was something new. Fear niggled at her again. Suppose Ezra wasn't safe? A lot had changed in the last few weeks—none of which had bettered her position or Lydia's. But still…Rosemary and Ezra?

Sandra pasted on her brightest smile as she dropped off the bowls. “Coffee's coming up,” she chirped. That was something Rosemary had forgotten, so she had the edge at the moment. But what a sorry state of affairs. Was she now competing with Rosemary? It didn't seem possible.

“Hi, Ezra.” Sandra whispered near his ear. “I thought you might have gone to sleep.”

Ezra chuckled. “With this excellent peanut butter lunch, how can somebody sleep?”

“Just teasing.” Sandra moved on but gave Ezra another smile over her shoulder. He grinned back, just like in the days before
Daett
passed. Nothing had changed, Sandra assured herself. Nothing!

Rosemary was nowhere around when Sandra entered the kitchen again. She retrieved two coffeepots from the counter and made her way back downstairs. Most of the men wanted coffee, and Sandra teased them, “Don't you know coffee is for old men?”

Light laugher went around the table.

One of the men asked, “Where did our other server go?”

“If you wouldn't take so much coffee you would only need one,” Sandra shot back.

“Next she'll be calling us spoiled again,” someone said.

Clyde raised his voice. “I'm sure Sandra can take care of everyone. So go easy on the woman.”

The man seated next to Clyde punched him in the ribs. “How come you're going sweet on Sandra all of a sudden?”

Clyde nearly spilled his coffee as laughter filled the basement.

“I have to try my hand at love once in a while,” Clyde finally choked out. “And what prettier girl than Sandra Troyer?”

Hoots of laughter greeted the words.

“Men!” Sandra muttered again, glancing at Ezra. He now had a
calm smile on his face. But why couldn't the man stick up for her? Sandra moved closer to Ezra to whisper in his ear again. “Can't you say something?”

Ezra appeared puzzled. “They're just teasing. What's wrong with that?”

You should claim me as your own and be offended,
Sandra wanted to say.

“
Yah
, nothing is wrong with teasing,” she said instead, and gave Ezra the best smile she could manage.

Ezra shrugged and turned his attention to his coffee. He took a long slow sip. Something had obviously gone wrong with her plan, but what? Had Lydia been right, and had Ezra seen through their scheme?

Sandra took both empty pots upstairs and deposited them on the counter. Bishop Henry called for the last prayer of thanksgiving, and the room hushed as everyone paused to bow their heads. Once the prayer was over, Rosemary appeared in front of her, all cheerful. “Ready to go down to the basement and clean up?”

“I think I'll get Lydia to help,” Sandra replied. She needed reinforcements.

“We can all work together, then. That would be nice,” Rosemary chirped.

Sandra found Lydia in a corner of the living room surrounded by a circle of younger girls. She must have hidden out there so no one would ask her to wait on the unmarried men's table.

Lydia looked up when Sandra approached. “
Yah
,” she said, before Sandra spoke.

“I need help cleaning the table in the basement,” Sandra said.

“Oh, sure.” Lydia didn't hesitate, but she did say on the way down the stairs, “I suppose Ezra's gone.”

“Of course!” Sandra couldn't keep the irritation out of her voice. “And I'm getting nowhere. Has Ezra been paying you attention?”

“No, but I wish he would,” Lydia snapped.

Sandra snorted. “That goes without saying.”

“So you're giving up?” Lydia sounded hopeful.

Sandra lowered her voice as they approached the bottom of the steps. “I was hoping you had some fresh suggestions.”

Rosemary greeted them with a smile. “Hi, Lydia. Where have you been hiding out?”

Lydia ignored the question and began gathering up the dishes. “You're awful cheerful today.”

“Maybe,” Rosemary allowed. “I'm trying to be. I think I've moped around long enough, you know, after Clyde hurt me the way he did.”

“You should have let the memory of Clyde go a long time ago,” Lydia said.

Sandra bit her lip and kept silent.

“Can I say something to the two of you?” Rosemary asked.

Lydia didn't hesitate. “Sure. Is something wrong?”

Rosemary hung her head for a moment. “No, there's nothing wrong. But both of you have been my friends, so that's why it's so hard to say this, but I don't want hard feelings.”

“What is it?” Lydia probed.

“So there
is
something going on,” Sandra snapped. “I asked you about this earlier, remember?”

“
Yah
, I remember,” Rosemary said. Then she blurted out, “Okay! I'll admit it. I'm trying to capture Ezra's attentions. I can't help myself even if I know it's wrong—and impossible.”

Lydia appeared dumbfounded. “You are trying to…Ezra?”

“Please don't be angry with me,” Rosemary begged. “Both of you!
I have to try or I can't live with myself, and he's not asking either of you home, even with all the work you've put into him.”

“Well, I'll be,” Lydia said. “Cast me over the barn roof.”

“But this isn't possible.” Sandra clutched the edge of the table. “Lydia I can understand, but
you
?”

Rosemary appeared embarrassed. “I know. I'm way out of line, so please forgive me.”

Lydia shrugged. “I guess you have a right to try. If Ezra can't make up his mind, maybe this will help.”

“But…” Sandra stopped. She couldn't express the desperation rising up inside of her.

Surely Rosemary wouldn't succeed. Ezra wouldn't even notice her…would he? She wasn't about to say such unkind words. Lydia's example was the right one. Rosemary needed encouragement, not harsh emotions. Sandra took a deep breath and managed to say, “Well, I know what it feels like to give Ezra smiles and to have things go nowhere, so if that happens to you, too, don't take it personally.”

“The Lord will surely guide us in this.” Rosemary's voice trembled.

Lydia reached over to give Rosemary a quick hug. “I never thought you would have enough nerve. But I'm proud of you.”

Rosemary colored a little. “I didn't either, and maybe I will only embarrass myself—in fact, I'm sure I will. And you can all laugh real hard when it happens. I wouldn't be angry.”

“We won't laugh,” Sandra assured Rosemary. This was no longer a laughing matter.

“But you won't be angry with me?” Rosemary asked.

Sandra forced herself to smile. “I'm not getting anywhere with the man, am I?” Then she glanced at Lydia, who shrugged.

Chapter Ten