A Heart Once Broken (9 page)

The idea of
Mamm
's marriage to Amos still chilled her. But
Daett
's death had changed life dramatically for them, so she couldn't blame
Mamm
.
Daett
couldn't be brought back.

Now if only Ezra would hurry and make up his mind, things might turn out great. But Ezra seemed the same as always. Why the man was so thickheaded was beyond her. She was a perfect match for him and was ready to marry this fall—if only Ezra would come to his senses in time. She would have to double her efforts tomorrow at the service and also at the evening hymn singing. She had to maintain a positive attitude or she'd lose all hope. Once married to Ezra, she'd have to find some way to repay Lydia for stepping back. How, she wasn't sure, but maybe she could help Lydia capture the attentions of some other handsome young man. They weren't that plentiful in the community, but she would do what she could. In the meantime, Lydia understood her cousin's situation.

Sandra pulled herself out of her thoughts to call out, “Supper's ready!”

The voices stopped in the living room, and moments later she heard the front door open and
Mamm
's voice hollering toward the barn, “Supper, boys!”

Sandra bit her lip. This did sound like a family's supper time, but it wasn't.
Daett
was gone, and Amos couldn't take his place. He never could.

Sandra jumped when Amos walked into the kitchen with a big smile on his face. He greeted her with a cheerful, “It all smells so
goot
, Sandra.”

“Thanks,” Sandra replied, without an expression. She pointed to an empty chair. “You can sit there.”

Amos didn't seem fazed by the cold reception. “You're looking mighty chirpy tonight,” he teased.

Sandra ignored him, and thankfully
Mamm
showed up seconds later.

“It's ready,” Sandra told
Mamm
. “All you have to do is sit down.”

The washroom door slammed behind them, and Mark and Clyde entered noisily. Sandra waited until the two had taken their seats before she sat down herself. She made sure her eyes didn't catch Clyde's.

“Let's pray,”
Mamm
said, looking at Amos with a smile.

Amos led out in prayer at once. But that was just the man's way, Sandra told herself. She pushed the bitter thoughts away and bowed her head. Amos could sure pray—that much was clear. He could almost match Bishop Henry's prayers. Or perhaps Amos was just trying to impress
Mamm
. He didn't have to bother, Sandra thought.
Mamm
wasn't impressed with such things.
Mamm
would never have consented to a date with Amos, let alone a marriage proposal, if
Daett
hadn't left them in such dire financial straits.

“Amen,” Amos said, and they all lifted their heads.

Sandra leaned over the table to pass the mashed potatoes, followed by the gravy.

Amos took the bowl first to proclaim loudly, “
Goot
eating here, I would say. We have much we can be thankful for, and such Christian hospitality.”

“Thank you,”
Mamm
whispered with a tear in her eye, which she quickly wiped away with her dress sleeve. Amos didn't seem to
notice, as he dished out a huge portion of mashed potatoes. “Not in many months have we seen such eating, have we Clyde?”

Clyde grinned. “Not since sister Clara got married.”

“That's my youngest girl,” Amos said. “She was the last to leave home, leaving us men alone and forsaken. Clara was almost as
goot
-looking as your Sandra there.” Looking pleased with himself, Amos added, “Her husband has a huge farm in the old community.”

“That's one reason we left,” Clyde said. “Everybody was getting so materialistic.”

Amos nodded, sober-faced. “That's true. We came here to seek better spiritual values, and already the Lord is blessing our efforts.” He gave
Mamm
a meaningful glance.

Mamm
's face colored, but she kept her head down.

Sandra gathered her courage and asked Clyde, “Any prospects for you in the matrimonial field?”

Mark choked on his food, and Clyde seemed speechless at this bold question.

“The Lord will provide,” Amos answered for him. “And I'm thinking maybe He has already.”

“Oh.” Sandra didn't hide her surprise. “I know Clyde used to date Rosemary. Is that on again?”

Clyde shook his head. “She was too worldly…though I know the community here seems to have accepted Rosemary and her family. But we remember the way things used to be.”

“You shouldn't hold things her
daett
did against Rosemary,” Sandra scolded.

Clyde grimaced. “I suppose that's our choice, don't you think?”

“I guess so,” Sandra allowed.

Across the table Mark grinned at this exchange, but didn't say anything.

You should be on my side,
Sandra wanted to tell him. But there
were no sides. Not if Amos planned to marry
Mamm
. The thought sent a stab of pain through her heart. How could
Mamm
move ahead with this plan?

Amos leaned forward to say, “We must all follow the way the Lord opens up before us. I hope you remember that, Sandra.”

So now the man was lecturing her. Sandra swallowed hard. “I seek the Lord's will with my whole heart.”

Amos smiled and dished out a helping of green beans. “Then we have nothing to worry about.” Moments later he added, “This supper is very
goot
, Sandra. You're an excellent cook.”

“
Mamm
helped too,” Sandra said.
Mamm
should have defended herself, but she obviously wouldn't.

“Like mother, like daughter,” Amos said, aglow with happiness. “I expected as much, but you have done well in taking on your
mamm
's excellent ways.”

She should say thank you, but the words were stuck in her mouth.

Amos didn't seem to notice as he announced in a loud voice, “I believe Clyde has something he wishes to say, don't you Clyde?”

“I'm not sure what you mean,
Daett
.” Clyde appeared puzzled.

“About what we looked at today.” Amos waved his spoon around. “You should tell Sandra.”

Clyde hesitated. “Well, it's not a done deal, but I'm looking at a farm of my own. Not that large, but a start, and more acres than I could have bought in the old community with the high land prices there.”

“It's a right nice-looking place,” Amos said, giving Sandra a sharp look. Sandra looked away. Amos had meant this information for her benefit, but why should she be surprised?

“Clyde's not getting any younger,” Amos continued. “He'll be choosing himself a
frau
before long. At least, that's what I've been telling him.”

The words were plain enough, and Mark had also noticed. He sent Sandra a bemused glance across the table. What was wrong with Mark? Surely he didn't agree, but Mark obviously liked Clyde. They had been laughing and talking when they came in from the barn.

“What do you say to all this, Sandra?” Amos asked, looking straight at her. “You seem lost in a daze.”

Sandra jumped to her feet. “I think we're ready for dessert, that's what. There's pecan pie, and apple pie, and…”

Amos was still smiling when Sandra returned from the counter with the pies. Thankfully he didn't force the subject again. Instead, as the pie was cut and served, Amos engaged
Mamm
in small talk and Mark and Clyde talked about horses. Sandra kept out of both conversations. The evening had already been enough of an embarrassment. Thankfully supper would soon be over, and she could clean the kitchen in peace by herself.

Amos finished his last bite of pecan pie with a loud smack of his lips. “That was some kind of
goot
pie there, Sandra, or did your
mamm
also make those delicious desserts?”

“I made them,” Sandra admitted, but offered nothing further.

Amos glanced around. “Let's give thanks then, and we can scatter to what needs doing. Your
mamm
and I have much we must discuss.”

Mamm
appeared pale, and Sandra almost reached over to squeeze
Mamm
's hand, but she was sure Amos wouldn't appreciate that.

Amos bowed his head again and soon pronounced an “Amen.”

The prayer had been much shorter this time, but had been delivered with just as much vim and vigor. Obviously Amos liked to pray out loud.

Sandra waited until
Mamm
had left with Amos for the living room, and Mark and Clyde were on their feet before she moved.

Mark headed for the washroom, but Clyde hollered after him, “I think I'll stay and help Sandra wash dishes.”

Mark turned around and chuckled. “Suit yourself,” he said. “I'll be in the barn when you're done.”

“You're not—” Sandra protested, but Clyde interrupted with, “Oh,
yah
, I am. You can't turn down help with the dishes.”

He wasn't as brash as his
daett
, but Clyde would soon get there. She stared at him. “I didn't ask for help.”

“That's because you didn't want to embarrass me, but I don't mind helping.” Clyde grinned and picked up a few dirty dishes to place them on the counter. “I like being around you. And I know how to wash dishes. We're bachelors, remember.”

What if I don't like being around you?
Sandra almost snapped. She forced herself to smile instead. “Really, Clyde, I appreciate the offer, but I need some time alone this evening.”

“But you're alone all the time in this big house with your
mamm
.” Clyde looked around as if that made his point. “It's not
goot
for women to live alone. Of course, I know you have no choice right now, and this wasn't planned, but still…”

“You've been here for supper. That's
goot
enough for me.” Sandra gave Clyde a bright smile. “And you've seen for yourself. I'm still quite sane, don't you think?”

Clyde laughed. “No argument from me on that, but still, I'd like to help.”

Sandra's face fell. She wasn't going to win. “Okay. You can dry the dishes, and I'll have my time alone for the rest of the evening.”

Clyde leaned against the counter and watched as Sandra filled the sink basin with hot water. He finally offered, “You know, my
daett
will wed your
mamm
soon.”

“I suppose so,” Sandra allowed.

“Where are you going to live?”

“Maybe Mark will have his own place by then.”

He wouldn't, but she wasn't about to tell Clyde.

“
Daett
says we all could fit in our big house.” Clyde shrugged. “But I'll have my own place by then…I hope.”

Sandra put on her most cheerful tone. “I guess we'll have to cross that bridge once we get there.”

“You know, you're wasting your time with Ezra Wagler,” Clyde deadpanned.

“What?” Sandra shot back, scarcely believing his boldness.

Clyde laughed. “Don't act surprised. Your attentions toward Ezra are common knowledge in the community. Yours and your cousin's too. Although lately Lydia seems to have…”

Sandra struggled to keep her voice steady. “I will have you know that none of this is any of your business, Clyde. And Ezra will make his mind up soon without your help.”

“I guess we'll have to see about that.” Clyde smirked.

A chill ran up Sandra's back as she dipped her hands in the hot water. Did Clyde know something that she didn't?

Chapter Nine

B
y twelve thirty the next day, the three-hour Sunday morning service had ended and Sandra was hurrying toward the kitchen. Ezra had been sitting on the third bench with the other unmarried men and out of her view all day. That was how things had gone lately when it came to her attempt to catch Ezra's eye. Somehow she had to turn the tide, Sandra told herself. She didn't want to wait on the unmarried men's table today, but she had little choice if she wanted to speak with Ezra. Unlike the men, the girls had limited options in their pursuit of attention. Sandra cringed at the thought as Lena tugged on her arm. “Did the cat get in the vinegar bottle this morning?”