A Hockey Player's Proposal (Oh Captain, My Captain #2) (15 page)

So I ignore him and eat my traditional meal. My mind wanders to last night. Brody made me feel like a pampered princess by the end of the night. After our dessert, we joined the couples on the dance floor, swaying to the music. He held me close and there wasn’t a need for an exchange of words. When we returned home, Bradley was back. Brody murmured in my ear something about kicking him out, but we didn’t. I wouldn’t let him.

“Bradley?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for coming with me.”

He smiles. “You thank me too often, Selene.”

The lights dim, dragging our attention to the ice. “I’m going to use the restroom before the game starts.” Bradley nods and I make my out. There are still people mingling about. I’m halfway to the bathrooms when my eyes land on an unfortunately familiar face coming towards me.

Jessica. Wearing the same Ross jersey as I am.

What is she doing here? The second our eyes meet, she grins. I turn on my heels, narrowly avoiding running into a man, and hurry back to Bradley without looking back. My steps are quick. I can’t get back to my seat fast enough. My brain keeps telling me that I’m not running from her. I’m simply keeping her from ruining my night. This is my place. My home. Not hers. She won’t take this from me. She can't.

“That was quick,” Bradley comments as I sit back down.

“Yeah.”

I don’t want to tell him she’s here. No need to mess his night up too. As long as she stays away, we’ll be fine. The puck drops, immediately dragging me into the game. Thank goodness. I honestly don’t know what I would do if I couldn’t get lost in this game. I don’t see my Brody on the ice, though. The captain of the Indiana Mustangs is on the ice, nothing more, nothing less.

We win, Brody scoring one of the goals, and Bradley goes on to drive us home. The rush of the game leaves me, forcing my thoughts back to Jessica. The weight of the entire situation weighs on me. It tires me out. Last night was wonderful, but it was a night where she wasn’t a problem. We can’t keep ignoring the looming trouble. It has to end. Very soon.

Without waiting for Brody to get home, I go to my room and fall asleep quickly with Bonkers nestled against my chest.

Brody

“Where is Selene?” I ask when I walk into my house. Bradley is sitting on my couch, watching some horrible reality show.

“She pretty much blew past me to get away and into her house,” he says matter-of-fact.

“Well, what did you do to her?” I growl at him.

“Calm down. I think she just wants some time alone.” Bradley slaps me on the shoulder and walks up the stairs.

I pull my phone from my pocket and send Selene a text.

Me: I’m worried. Are you okay?

Selene: I’m asleep. I’m fine. We’ll talk later

I don’t really like the tone of the text, but she’s okay. Maybe Bradley’s right and she needs time alone. I sigh in defeat because I really want to run over there and be with her, but I know better.

~ ~ ~

The sun is brightly shining in my room when I leap up. I haven’t seen Selene, and I want to check on her before she leaves for work. I brush my teeth, throw on some clothes, and race out the back door.

Like clockwork, there’s Bonkers, chasing his tail in the backyard. I love that silly dog. I whistle, and he stops, looking at me. He practically jumps the fence to get to me. I laugh at him, when my eyes catch Selene standing at the back door with a coffee mug in her hand.

Her hair and makeup are perfectly done, and she's dressed in a gray pantsuit. The purple blouse brings out her dark eyes. I wave at her, but she gives me a tight, thin smile back. This isn’t going to be as good of a morning as I first thought. She turns her back to me, and I put Bonkers down, heading to her.

“Good morning,” I say brightly hoping that I’m reading her wrong.

“Hey,” she says back with not much expression, walking over to the counter.

“Um, did you sleep well? I missed you in my bed.” I put my arms around her waist, kissing the back of her neck.

“Yep, slept great.” She pulls away from me. Yep, she’s mad.

“Selene, what’s wrong?” I ask, not sure if I want to know the answer.

There's sadness in her eyes when she finally looks up at me. I know what's coming. I've seen that look, just one other time in my life.

“Brody, this isn’t working. I thought being a booty call was going to be simple, but now we’re in a relationship, and you’re expressing all these feelings to me. I can’t handle it all. Let’s not forget your crazy ass, pregnant stalker, who seems to be everywhere I turn.” She turns her attention to her feet, and my heart breaks.

“So, what are you saying?” My voice cracks a bit. Great, another person I love trampling all over me.

“I can’t, Brody. I honestly don’t want to deal with this. My love is hockey, my job, and my dog. This,” she looks up at me, “is ruining all of my true loves, and I’m not going to let it.” Her voice grows serious, but the tears creeping up in her eyes.

“Selene,” I beg, walking closer to her. “Please don’t do this to us.” I swallow back the lump of pain in my throat. I’m not going to lose her.

“Brody, there is no ‘us’.” She air quotes to me. “We were fuck buddies, and you let your feelings get in the way of that.”

“You have no feelings for me whatsoever?” I challenge her. I know better than that.

She stands there, not breaking eye contact with me, saying nothing. She can’t say the words because she knows there are feelings. She expressed so much to me on our date, and I want that Selene back. I want my Selene.

“Goodbye, Brody.” Selene crosses her arms.

“I’m not leaving.” I mirror her stance.

“Please, Brody. You can’t stay with me. It’s not going to work. And,” she pauses, closing her eyes.

“What?” I push for her to tell me.

She opens her eyes and one lone tear falls. “Being in that arena is home to me. That's the one place where my memories of Stacy are the strongest, and I won’t lose that. Even for you, Brody.”

Another tear falls as I realize she’s right. I can’t hurt her any further. I love her too much. I step closer, thinking she'll move away. When she doesn't, I reach for her hand. I guide her to me and cup her face.

“No matter what you think or feel, I love you. I love you like no other person in my life.” I softly press my lips to hers, and I feel them quivering. The saltness of the tears now streaming down her face contrasts with the sweet taste of her berry lip gloss. When I break the kiss, I lay my forehead on hers. “I’ll wait for you.”

It’s the last words I say to her before walking out the patio door. I hear her sobbing, but I  can’t turn back. I slam my back door with all my might, and I thought I had broken the glass for sure. My emotions are running in every direction, and I want to punch something.

“She broke up with you?” Bradley questions from behind me.

I whip around to see my twin brother, eating cereal at the table. “Did you know?”

He shakes his head. “No, but I got the feeling it was coming.”

“Thanks for the heads up, ass!” I shout at him.

The jerk chuckles at me. “Don’t get all pissed with me, you’re the one that caused this. No one else.”

I through my hands up in bewilderment. “How could this possibly be my fault? Please explain, ol’ wise Yoda.”

He throws his spoon down and stands up, coming over to me. “You need to get your priorities in check. You love Selene? Great, then lose the crazy chick. You want to run off in the sunset with Selene? Then maybe you should focus on the woman claiming she’s knocked up  and proving that she isn’t having your child. Don’t come at me like I’m the enemy, Brody. I’m the one person that can help you out of this mess.”

“How can you be the one person to help me?”

“How many times have you been hit in the head with a puck? What do you think I’ve been doing the last few days with Selene? Twiddling my thumbs?”

In all honesty, I have no clue what he has been doing. I assumed he followed her around. “Um,” is my only response.

Bradley shakes his head and rolls his eyes. “You are such a hockey player.”

“Hey,” I yell at him.

“That girl loves you, but she doesn’t want your damn drama-filled soap opera you’re calling ‘Your Life’. Clean up the mess with Jessica, then go back to Selene. She needs hardcore proof that the crazy chick isn’t going to screw up her relationship with you.” He slugs me hard in the shoulder as he walks away from me.

“When the fuck did you get so smart?” I ask.

“Well, apparently you got the brawn and I got the brains, idiot,” he shouts over his shoulder.

I close my eyes and try to figure out what my next move will be. First, I have to go to practice.

~ ~ ~

I have never wanted to leave a practice so badly. I don’t hardly talk to anyone as I run to my car and go to the one place that will help me get Selene back into my arms.

“Mr. Ross, you don’t have an appointment to see Mr. Madison,” the young secretary tells me as I blow past her to barge into his office.

“Now. This moment. I want to know if she is pregnant.” I pound on his desk, making him jump.

“Brody.” His face goes slightly white.

“Should I call security?” the girl asks, but I never take my eyes off of him.

“No, it’s fine. Leave us for a moment,” Mr. Madison instructs her to leave. He gets up from his desk, coming over to me. “Brody, calm down.”

“Not going to happen. This situation is ruining my life, and I want it fixed. Now,” I command him as if he’s a player on the ice.

He nods. “Sit down.”

Even though I don’t want to, I relent and sit. Mr. Madison walks back to his chair and shuffles the papers around until he finds what he was looking for. “I planned on calling you. I made sure that this was served to Jessica today.”

He hands me a paper, and I read through it quickly. It was requesting proof of the pregnancy, and it had to be from a doctor and with official lab work. She had forty-eight hours to comply.

“Have we received anything?” I ask, urgent to know.

“Not yet,” he says sadly. “She has a little while to get back to us.”

The hurt overtakes me. I want to go home and tell Selene. Instead, I nod and leave the office. The ride home is pure torture. I hate my life without Selene in it. I pull into my driveway and see Bradley and Allison on the porch. I watch them flirting for a minute, and it makes me miss Selene's smile, and I laugh. I take a deep breath and face my world alone.

I walk past them, saying a quick “Hi,” not wanting to talk to them. Plus, I don’t want to interrupt them. Bradley deserves to have fun while he's here, and Allison seems like a good fit. I grab a beer from the fridge and head for the back porch. I chug from the bottle quickly, staring at the sunshine illuminating around me. I need to get ready for the game tonight, but I don’t want to go into that rink, knowing Selene’s going to be there and cheering me on. Well, she might be cheering me on. More than likely, she won’t.

~ ~ ~

Possibly the worst game I’ve ever played. I was in the penalty box three times. I didn’t score because I wanted to fight everyone. Coach yelled at me a lot, as did Kris. It didn’t help that we lost at home, four to zero.

As soon as I hit the locker room, I rip off my jersey and equipment, not speaking to anyone. I shower and keep it on the hottest water setting that I can stand, hoping it’ll ease the pain of my muscles and my broken heart. After I dry off, I slip my suit on and leave the building. I check my phone, hoping Selene would have called or texted me, but she hasn’t, and the only one that did was Bradley.

Bradley: You sucked tonight

Leave it to my brother to tell me what I already know. I head to my car and go home, even though all I want to do is go to Selene and hold her all night. Pulling into my driveway, I stare at her house. Not a single light is on, and I look at the place that felt more like my home than the house I own. Finally, I get out of the car and go into the empty shell of my so called life. My phone alerts me of a text, and my heart stops.

Bradley: I’m with Allison, see you tomorrow

With that, I go to bed.

~ ~ ~

I toss and turn all night and practice is as bad as the game. Coach even pulls me to the side and asks if I'm okay to play tonight. That maybe I should take the night off.

“I’m fine,” is my response.

Like yesterday, I ignore everyone and leave. I continuously call Mr. Madison’s office, but they haven’t heard from Jessica yet. Her time is running out, and this has to show that she's lying. I slam my front door when I get home. It seems that breaking items or opponents are my release from what I really want. I grab a beer from the fridge and head out to my patio. I try my hardest not to look at Selene’s house, but the barking makes me turn.

Bonkers is at the fence, standing on his back legs, jumping for me. His high pitched sound tugs at my heart. I shouldn’t, but I don’t see Selene in the yard, so I go to the dog.

“Hey, buddy.” I open the gate to pet him, and of course he runs around me in a circle. I laugh at his energy.

“You know he likes you a lot.” Selene’s sweet voice makes my heart stop.

I look up and see her leaning on the rail of her porch. She’s still in her work clothes, looking stunning.

“I’m sorry. He was barking, and I was just going to pet him,” I explain to her.

“It’s fine. Come on, Bonkers,” she yells for the dog, and he looks at me. He tilts his head, and I almost have the urge to cry at his adorable face.

“Go,” I command him, and the dog takes off to her.

“That was a terrible game the other night.”

I'm kind of surprised she's talking to me. Part of me wishes she wouldn't. I don't need to be reminded of how badly I played. Looking at Bonkers instead of her, I say, “Yeah, I know.”

“I don't think I've ever seen you play like that.” There's a touch of concern in her voice, but I could be imagining things. “What happened?”

Sighing, I lift my gaze to hers. “The truth?” She doesn't nod or shake her head, which means she wants to know, but doesn't want to know. Selene's going to hear it either way. “There's this girl I'm in love with and she decided that I wasn't worth the risk after all. The rink is the last place I want to be because it's a blessing and a curse to know she's there watching me. So, I'm playing like crap because my heart isn't in it. It's crazy because she was worried about me taking away where she felt at home, but as it turns out, that's what she took from me.” Without another word, I turn and walk back to my house. After all, I have to get ready for yet another game I don't feel like playing.

~ ~ ~

Tonight is a big game. We're battling against the Alabama Blacksmiths for first place in our division. Of course, I want the win to rub it in their captain Carson Lee's face. He’ll do anything to hold the Stanley Cup over his head. The first period is nothing but trash talk and scoreless runs. My mind isn’t in the game. It’s in the three hundred section where Selene is.