A Home for Haley (17 page)

****

Haley looked at the clock for what
felt like the hundredth time and sighed. She couldn’t close her eyes without
seeing Kayla’s grief-stricken face, and Ethan valiantly trying to soothe his
daughter and keep his own pain at bay. How could anyone soothe that kind of
suffering? Her own heart was heavy with grief, and she wasn’t even related to
Kayla.

What kind of mother could hurt her
child so terribly? Tears stung Haley’s eyes. If that woman ever so much as
showed her face when Haley was there, she would call the police. To this day,
Haley still cried when she remembered some of the hateful things her dad had
said to her. She couldn’t even imagine how deep the scars would be for Kayla.

Brushing away a tear, Haley got out
of bed and put on her swimsuit. She might as well try and work off some of her
anger, because there was no way she could sleep. Grabbing a towel, she stepped
out her patio door and breathed in the night air. The pool’s water was as
smooth as glass. Dropping her towel onto the back of the nearest chair, she walked
to the edge of the pool and dove in.

As soon as her head came up, she
took off swimming, quickly losing count of her laps. She would swim until she
couldn’t do it anymore and then, hopefully, go back inside and sleep.

Finally when her arms were shaking
with fatigue, she grabbed the side of the pool and rested her forehead on the
blue tile, gulping in air.

“I’m impressed.”

Haley jumped and let out a squeal.
Ethan sat in a lounge chair to her left. “You scared me to death,” she said,
clutching her chest where her heart pounded like a war drum.

“Sorry.” He stood and eased into
the water beside her. “Did the swim help?”

“I’ll let you know when I can
breathe again.”

He nodded and rested his shoulders and
arms on the edge of the pool.

Haley turned around and leaned her
head on his bulging biceps, knowing instinctively he needed her. “How long have
you been out here?”

“A long time.”

“I didn’t see you when I came out. Did
you swim?”

“Yeah, for a while. Didn’t help.”

“Maybe it will at least help us
sleep.” Tension filled the air and her mind went blank. She wanted to offer
comfort, but words eluded her.  He turned and faced her, the water lapping at
her chest with his movement. His face was only inches from hers and she
couldn’t take her eyes off him. “I’m sorry, Ethan. I want to help. Tell me what
I can do.”

“For Kayla or me?”

She licked her lips. “Both.”

Ethan touched her face, ran a thumb
over her bottom lip. Her breath stopped, then started back up, shallow and quick.
He rested his forehead against hers, and she could smell his clean male scent.
Feel his warmth. And his pain.

She put her hands on his shoulders
and leaned in for a kiss. He did not disappoint. One minute she was breathless
with anticipation. The next, breathless with need.

He pulled her hard against him and
deepened the kiss. She took all that he gave and hoped for more. When he pulled
away, she almost whimpered. Maybe she did. She wasn’t sure.

He ran a hand through his hair and
cursed. She blinked hard, then gasped and stepped away, staring down at the
water.

“Look at me, Haley.”

She didn’t want to look at him. She
wanted to jump out of this pool, race inside and lock the door. He hooked a
finger under her jaw, caressed her cheek with his thumb.  “I’m not upset with
you. I promised myself I wouldn’t kiss you, but . . .” He cleared his throat.

Her heart twisted with
disappointment, even though she knew that was for the best. She was in no way
ready for this. It was too soon. He continued to caress her cheek until she
thought she might melt right into him. She finally got enough breath in her
lungs to speak “You’re right to think that way,” she managed to say.

Nodding, he dropped his hand. His
whiskey-brown eyes were filled with pain, and it sliced through her, making her
ache for all he’d been through.

Feeling helpless, she wrapped her
arms around his waist and rested her head on his chest. His heartbeat was fast,
but strong and sure.  She raised her head and cupped his cheeks. “I’m so sorry,
Ethan. I wish I could help.”

With a groan he pulled her tight
and plundered her mouth, then took her legs and wrapped them around him. “Lay
back on the water.”

She did as he said, refusing to let
herself think. Her mind clouded with need and her breathing came faster. He cupped
both her breasts and she moaned, pushing into his hands. He slid his warm hands
under her swimsuit top and molded her bare flesh. Need consumed her. She tried
to clear her head and be smart, but she couldn’t. All she could think about was
being with this man.

He lifted her up from the water and
held her close. It was a few minutes before he spoke. “I’ll still respect you
in the morning, but I won’t respect myself.” He kissed her cheek and set her
away from him.

She held trembling fingers to her
lips. “You’re right.” She looked away, ashamed but still having to fight for
control. It was so not like her to be forward like she’d been. She wanted to
flee, but she made herself look at him. He smiled even though his eyes held
pain, and her embarrassment evaporated.

“I guess I should thank you for
being strong,” she said, taking his hand. “Do you want to talk about today?”

“Hell no, I don’t want to talk
about it. I want to find Ellie and hurt her the way she hurt Kayla.”

“I’d vote for that.”

He smiled and they leaned back
against the pool’s edge. “I was such a fool to ever marry that woman. Young and
dumb as they say.” He shook his head and made a derisive sound.

Silence filled the air, but it felt
comfortable. “Seriously, I want to help in any way I can. Is there anything I can
do?”

“Just what you’ve been doing all
along. Kayla adores you and if she ever comes to you with this, I trust you to
say and do what’s best for her.”

Fear spurted through her. “Uh,
that’s a lot of trust.”

He nodded. “Yes, and you’ve earned
it.”

She sincerely hoped his trust was
not misplaced. “Have you thought about therapy for her?”

“Did that for six months. Kayla
seemed to be coping pretty well, so I quit her therapy. Guess today probably
takes her back to square one, huh?”

“I don’t see how it could not be a
setback. I can’t believe her mother just dismissed her after the commercial. It
broke my heart. How could anyone be so cruel, but especially a mother?”

“Answer that and you win the prize.”
He cupped the water with a hand, pulled it toward them, then smoothed it back
the other way and watched the ripples ease out.

“You’re smart to start her back in
therapy,” Haley said.” Ethan leaned his head back and stared at the star-filled
sky. “You’re a good father, Ethan. Kayla will be alright. It might take a
while, but she will bounce back. I’ll give her extra attention and let her know
I’m there for her if she wants to talk.”

Ethan turned his head and studied
her with sad eyes. “Sometimes I think we needed you as much as you needed us.”

“I hope I don’t let you down,” she
responded softly, the weight of grief and responsibility sitting heavy on her.

“You don’t have to worry about
letting me down, Haley.”

She looked away and tucked her hair
behind her ears. “I’ve been meaning to tell you that I’m not angry with you
anymore about Dale. You were right. Once I got past the shock and despair, I’ve
felt better.” She cast him a quick glance. “I can see now that it was best for
me to know the truth.”

“Thank you for saying that. When I
called in the favor, I thought I knew what was best. Sure is easier to see
what’s best for someone else, isn’t it?”

“Yes, but you were trying to take
care of me. And now I want to be there for you. I’m a good listener if you ever
want to talk.”

“I’m not good at sharing my
problems. It’s a guy thing,” he added with a slight smile.

“You shared tonight and even lived
to deny it.”

He chuckled and pulled her close, eased
her head down onto his shoulder. “You’re easy to talk with.”

“So are you,” she muttered. “What
should we do about the rest of the week?”

“Carry on,” as Mom would say. “I
figure it’d only make it worse to go home. We’ll give her lots of attention and
fun times. As soon as we’re home, I’ll set an appointment with her therapist.
Maybe it’s time to get her that puppy she’s been wanting.”

“She would love that.” Haley looked
up at him. “Knowing that Kayla will get professional help eases my worry. All I
know to do is give her lots of love and affection. Listen when she wants to
talk and support her.”

“Don’t under-rate that. Loving and
supporting her will go a long way.”

“I hope so,” Haley murmured.”

“I know so.” Ethan pulled her
snugger and she melted against him and hoped he could feel the comfort she
offered. She could be there for Kayla. She wanted to do this. Raising a child
was not easy, especially raising one by yourself. She worried about that with
Ryan all the time, and he had not had the emotional trauma that Kayla had. Why
did life have to be so rough? Haley’s heart went out to Kayla. And Ethan. All
Haley had ever wanted since Ryan had been born was to be a good and loving
mother. She was determined to be all the things her parents hadn’t been for her,
especially her father.

She hadn’t known what a good father
was until she’d come to work for Ethan. He was kind and caring and showed Kayla
every day how much he loved her. He was also strong and stable and made sure
she knew the rules and obeyed them, all while being fair and loving. He had no
idea what a gift that was to a child. Watching Ethan with Kayla had shown Haley
that not every man was like her dad. Haley was grateful she had finally seen
for herself how a good father treated his children. The fact that Ethan treated
Ryan the same touched her deeply.

She raised her head and smiled at
him. “I’m glad you trust me with your daughter, because I trust you with my
son, and I never thought I’d be able to trust any man with Ryan who wasn’t his
dad. Why would I after my experience with a father who either ignored me or belittled
me? I didn’t even know what being a good father ‘looked’ like. But after seeing
you with the kids, I’m starting to understand what that should be. Thank you
for your example.”

“Don’t put me on a pedestal, Haley.
I have my moments just like anyone else.”

“Maybe so, but I’ve never seen you
lose your temper with Kayla or be mean to her. You’re a good father, and I
admire you.”

He tucked her head back onto his
chest and rested his chin on the top of her head. She snuggled in, enjoying
being held. She need to be held and was certain Ethan did too. After several minutes,
he shifted and she lifted her head. His lips were only inches from hers, and
her breath hitched.

She thought for a minute he might
kiss her, but he stood and edged her away from him. “I could talk with you all
night, but we need to get some sleep, and I need to get away from you before I
do something we’ll both regret.”

She stepped back from him, stirring
the water. Ethan was right. What was she doing anyway? Shame washed over her
like ocean waves going out with the tide. Dale might have been gone for almost
two years, but until only a month ago, she’d been waiting on him to come home
to her.

With a shock, she realized this was
the first time she had thought of Dale today. Sadness as well as guilt engulfed
her.

She stepped back, putting more
distance between her and Ethan. “You’re right.” She hoisted herself out of the swimming
pool while she had the strength to do what she knew was best for them both,
grabbed her towel and went inside.

Ethan took one last glance around
the empty townhouse. He locked the door and handed the key to Ashley. “You did
good, Ash.”

“Yeah. Too bad I didn’t know Ellie
was going to be at Disneyland. Have you heard from her?”

“No, and I hope to God I don’t.”

“Me too.” Ashley hugged him and then
called to the kids who were over by the car with Haley. They ran to her and she
swept them in for a big hug. “I will see you two munchkins in a few months. Now
give me a high-five.”

Ryan slapped at her hand and she
grabbed his fist and pretended to bite it. Giggling, he jerked his hand back
and ran behind Haley’s legs. Kayla clung to her aunt, and Ethan’s stomach tightened.
Dread for what lay ahead with Kayla seeped into him.

Despite the encounter with Ellie, the
rest of their week in California had flown by with Kayla seeming to enjoy it. The
dolphin watch had been a real high for them all. He had gotten a few cool
pictures of the kids watching with wide eyes as a mama dolphin tried to teach
her baby to breach. They had seen several small PODs but hadn’t seen a huge one
like California was known to have. All in all it had still been an awesome
experience for everyone.

“Let’s go, Kayla. We have a plane
to catch.” She hung back. He reached for her and guided her toward the rental
car with his hand on the back of her neck. He opened the door of the car and
motioned her in. She turned and ran across the parking lot and he sprinted
after her, catching her easily.

“Let me go. Let me go,” she yelled,
kicking and crying.

Ethan held her close. “I’m not
letting you go until you tell me what’s going on.”

Kayla shut her mouth and glared at
him. “I hate you.”

Ethan’s heart dropped to his
stomach. “Well, I love you so it looks like you’re stuck with me.”

Kayla’s glare evaporated as she
buried her face in his neck and sobbed. “Mommy’s here. I don’t want to go back home.”

Ethan barely managed to hold in his
own tears. Ashley walked over and stroked the back of Kayla’s head. “Your
mother knows where you live, honey. She can find you anytime.”

Ethan appreciated his sister’s
efforts, but wasn’t sure she should have said that. Ellie would not come for
her daughter, so there was no use giving her false hope “Here’s the deal,
Kayla. We live in Tennessee. Everything we own is there and so is my work. We
can’t stay here. Besides, Grandma Dottie would wring my neck if I didn’t get
you back home for her to spoil.”

Kayla hung her head. “Mama won’t
ever come home. She knows you don’t want her.”

That was the damn truth
, but
he couldn’t very well say that. In fact, he was at a total loss for words and
halfway angry that Kayla blamed him for her mother’s lousy actions.

“We’re going home, Kayla. Your
grandmother is chomping at the bit to see you. She told me this morning she
misses you, and so does Aunt Jo.”

Kayla’s eyes teared up. “I miss her
too, but I miss Mommy more.”

Haley walked over to them. “Of course
you miss your mommy, Kayla, but that doesn’t mean you can stay where your daddy
doesn’t have a job, and your grandmother and aunt can’t see you. Plus I’m your
nanny. What would I do if you stayed here?”

Kayla shrugged.

“She has a point,” Ashley said.
“Besides, when I come to Tennessee for Labor Day, it just wouldn’t feel right
if you weren’t there. We all love you so much.”

Thank God Ashley and Haley could
still think
.

“Okay,” Kayla finally said in a
whisper, her lower lip trembling.

“That’s my girl.” Ethan walked back
to the car and set Kayla down by the open car door. She crawled in, buckled her
seat belt and stared straight ahead.

“KayKay sad?” Ryan asked, reaching
for her. She shrugged away.

“Kayla, I know you’re upset, but
that doesn’t give you the right to act crummy to Ryan.” Ethan ran a hand over
his daughter’s head. “He loves you like the rest of us do.”

Kayla sliced Ryan a glance, then
reached over and took his hand. Ryan grinned and offered her his Tommy Tippy
cup.

Haley got into the front seat and
buckled her seat belt. After giving Ashley a long hug and watching her get in
her car and pull away, Ethan slid into the rental, buckled up, and turned the
car on.

Haley leaned across the seat and rested a hand on his leg.
Her touch was comforting and he squeezed her hand before giving the drive his
full attention. He was ready to be home, and desperate to get professional help
for Kayla. Maybe, in the long run, it was for the best they’d run into Ellie.
Kayla had obviously been hiding a lot of hurt pretty well, and seeing her
mother had caused all those feelings to resurface. At least Ethan now knew how
deeply his daughter had been affected and, hopefully, he could help her work
through this. It might take years of therapy, but he would do whatever he
needed for Kayla to somehow deal with what her mom had done.

****

Dottie greeted them at the back
door with hugs and kisses.  “Look! No cane,” she announced, holding her arms
out from her side.

“Where is it? I want to burn the
thing,” Ethan said giving his mom a lingering hug and a peck on the cheek.

“I’m not telling. I might have to
haul it out sometime and smack you.”

Chuckling, Ethan went back out for
the rest of the luggage.

“Where’s Aunt Jo?” Haley asked, as
Dottie pulled her in and hugged her, squishing Ryan between them and making him
laugh.

“Jo’s upstairs putting fresh sheets
on the beds.”

“I can’t tell you how good my own
bed sounds right now. It was a long day.” Haley ran her fingers through Ryan’s
curls. “Great week though. We saw lots of cool stuff, right kids?”

Kayla went to her grandmother and
hugged her tight, resting her head on Dottie’s stomach. Haley’s heart ached for
the girl. “The kids are pretty tired. I think a bedtime snack and bath is about
all they can handle this evening.”

Kayla raised her head and scrunched
her eyebrows at her. “I’m not tired.”

“Let me look at you.” Dottie held
her granddaughter away from her and scrutinized the child’s face. “You could
have fooled me, young lady. I see tired written all over you.”

Ethan returned carrying an armful
of luggage. “Want to come help me with the little stuff, Kayla?”

She flounced into a chair. “I’m too
tired.”

Dottie sat beside Kayla and patted
her leg, but Kayla refused to even look at her.

“I’ll help,” Haley offered.

“No worries. I can probably get the
rest if I stack things right.”

Haley watched him leave and let out
a weary sigh. Ethan had held up pretty well this week, but she could tell he
was eaten up with worry. She wished there was something she could do to help
him.

“I saw Mommy,” Kayla announced to
her grandmother, the minute the door shut behind her dad. Her shoulders
slumped. “I wanted to stay in California.”

Dottie took her hand. “Your daddy
called and told me that you saw her.”

Kayla nodded. “She was at
Disneyland.”

“And?” Dottie prompted just as Ethan
stepped back inside. Silence filled the room.

Ethan’s jaw bunched with tension.
Haley could tell he wasn’t ready for this conversation, but she also figured
Dottie was right to get it out in the open.

Kayla kicked at a wadded up napkin
on the floor. “She asked me to be on television with her, but she never called
to see me again. Has she called here?” Kayla asked, her face brightening with
hope.

Dottie shook her head and patted
her granddaughter’s leg. “Come sit on my lap. I’ve missed you something
fierce.”

Kayla scooted onto Dottie’s lap but
held herself stiff. Her grandmother pulled her close and stroked her hair. Tears
stung Haley’s eyes. It was obvious Dottie was trying hard to help Kayla and
make sure she felt loved. Haley was relieved when Kayla finally relaxed against
her. “Did you know my mommy lived California?” she asked, slicing her father a
quick look.

Dottie nodded. “Yes, I did. But I
didn’t know much more than that, except that she wants to be an actress.”

Haley could tell Dottie was working
hard not to say something she might regret. She hoped Ethan realized what a good
mother Dottie had been to her children. What Haley would give to have had this
kind of support from either her mom or her grandmother.

Kayla straightened. “She
is
an actress! Mommy’s been in lots of commercials,” Kayla announced with obvious
pride. “She’s the prettiest woman in the world.”

That was the truth
, Haley
thought, trying to ignore the stab of jealousy that twisted in her stomach as
she wished she could look even half that good. She set Ryan down and went to
the refrigerator, pulled out the milk and took some Oreo cookies and empty cups
to the table. Ryan climbed into the high chair and Ethan snapped the tray on.
Grinning, Ryan pounded on the tray. Haley handed him a cookie, then poured some
milk into a Tommy Tippy cup and gave it to him.

“I want some cookies and milk,”
Kayla whined.

Ethan arched a brow at her. “How do
you ask?”

Kayla blew out a sigh. “Can I
please have some cookies and milk?”

“Coming right up.” Haley smiled at
Kayla as she set her snack on the table. “You want some, Dottie?”

“I’d prefer a bottle of wine.”

Shaking his head, Ethan went to the
wine rack and grabbed a bottle of Chardonnay and a wine opener.

Haley set three wine glasses on the
counter. “Fill mine to the brim.”

Ethan’s lips twitched as he poured
each glass half full, handed his mom and Haley one, then took a big sip of his
and sighed with contentment.

Aunt Jo walked into the room. “Hey,
everyone! Boy has this place been quiet with you kids gone.”

Grinning, Jo hugged Ethan and Haley
before kissing Ryan and Kayla on the cheek. “It’s way too quiet in here. Did
everybody wear themselves out this week?”

Ryan pounded his tray and grinned,
but Kayla merely shrugged and kept eating, separating the chocolate wafer from
the creamy inside of the cookie and licking it off.

“I want to hear about your trip,”
Jo prodded. Silence greeted her. Jo picked up a cookie. “Well, I have some news
that will get you all chattering.”

“What?” Ethan and Haley said in
unison.

“Don’t you dare,” Dottie warned.

Jo grinned. “Dottie had a bona fide
date with Amos a few nights ago. He even drove into town to pick her up. Plus
they hung out when we were at the dude ranch. And, by the way, things are
really shaping up out there. Even Hank is showing enthusiasm.”

“Don’t be spreading rumors about
Hank,” Ethan said, sipping more wine.

Dottie smiled. “Someone needs to
perk that man’s life up. You suppose he’s got himself a woman?” she asked, her
eyes full of mischief.

“It wouldn’t surprise me if that
man had himself several women,” Jo responded, waggling her eyebrows.

“Oh for goodness sake, Jo. That’s
ridiculous. Hank keeps his business private because he’s a private kind of man,
but he’s not a womanizer.”

“He used to be,” Ethan said. “He
was my idol for years.”

Jo and Dottie both laughed. “I sure
would like to know more about what goes on with him,” Jo said. “I have a
feeling he needs a good woman in his life. One good woman, not a different one
every week.”

“Hey,” Dottie said. “No smack about
one of my favorite young men.”

Jo scowled at her sister. “I
seriously doubt Hank ever has a dull moment. Aren’t you even the least bit
curious?”

“No. It’s none of your business and
neither is my date with Amos.”

Aunt Jo walked to the counter and poured
herself some wine. “I haven’t had any juicy news to tell in forever, so quit
spoiling my fun.”

“You don’t have any juicy news now,
so hush.” Dottie held out her empty wine glass and Ethan poured more, then
opened another bottle.

Kayla frowned at her grandmother.
“Are you mad at Aunt Jo?”

Dottie took a sip of wine.
“Perturbed is what I am. Nothing you need to worry about. We’re sisters and we
get perturbed at each other from time to time.”

“What does that word mean?” Kayla
asked, watching both women intently.

“It means we love each other but
she wants me to hush.” Aunt Jo bent down and kissed the top of Kayla’s head. “If
I were the one dating someone, your grandmother would be begging for details.”

“We would
all
be begging for
details, Aunt Jo.” Ethan nudged her with an elbow, making her slosh some of her
wine onto the table. She glowered at him.

He leaned back in his chair and
crossed his feet at the ankles. “I think it’s great Mom has a boyfriend. She’s
gone practically a whole year without one.”

Dottie scooted back from the table.
“Thanks for the reminder, but you’re one to talk. Besides, I haven’t exactly
been dating material with a bum knee.”

Ethan swiped a cookie and popped it
in his mouth. “My guess, but it’s only a guess, is that you’re the one who’s
kept men at a distance.”

“I just love the way you always
cheer me up, son. Come on, Kayla. You and I are going upstairs for some quality
time without your dad and Aunt Jo butting into our business. Right?”

“Right.” Kayla grinned for the
first time since they’d arrived back home.

Dottie snatched a cookie off
Kayla’s plate. “There are way too many smart alecks in this house.”

Kayla stuffed the last cookie in
her mouth and jumped up from the table, wiping her hands on her shorts. “I’ll
race ya, Grandma,” she muttered around a full mouth.

“Five years old and already
harassing me. I hope you’re satisfied, Ethan Richardson.”

“Home sweet home,” Ethan said,
motioning Haley over and shoving out a chair with his foot. “How did I ever
survive a week without Mother badgering me?”