A Is for Abstinence (17 page)

“You really agreed to abstain from sex?”

I shrugged. “She wouldn’t go out with me otherwise.”

“Isn’t that going to be difficult for you?”

I barked out a laugh. “Are you kidding? Not being able to touch her last night was so hard I almost drove her to Las Vegas to get hitched just so I could finally have my way with her.”

The reporters went crazy over that comment. They crowded closer, snapping their cameras again and shouting more questions—most wanting to know if we were engaged. I started to laugh until Val swatted my arm. “Kyle!” she shrieked.

“What? I said I was tempted. Not that I planned on following through.”

She glared at me and I couldn’t help laughing at her. I’ve always loved when she was mad at me. “Okay,” I said. “I’m sorry.” I turned my attention to the reporters. “Val and I are
not
secretly engaged. We’ve only been on one date, so you can all calm down. No one’s running to any chapel. We don’t even know if things are going to work between us. Yes, this not having sex with my girlfriend thing is going to be insanely difficult, but I am going to try my best. Now, if you all don’t mind, I’m going to take Valerie inside and make her some hot coffee. She’s practically turned into a popsicle standing out here in her bare feet.”

Val looked relieved when I opened the door and pushed her inside, ignoring the questions still being thrown our way.

. . . . .

I thought the interview went great, but it became obvious that I was the only one enjoying myself the minute the door was shut between the reporters and us. Val let out a long groan as she took off my leather jacket and sank down onto her sofa.

“It wasn’t that bad,” I said, joining her.

I held out my arms for her to snuggle into and got a glare instead. “Vegas, Kyle? Now everyone thinks we’re secretly engaged, and that you’re only marrying me so you can sleep with me.”

I seriously didn’t see what the big deal was. “Who cares?”

“
I
do.”

“Sheesh. Somebody’s grouchy this morning.” Her mood was contagious and I found myself working to keep control of my temper. “Look, people know me, okay? And they know you. They might think I’m capable of it, but nobody is ever going to believe that you’d run off to Vegas with me. It was just a joke.”

“No, it was a
circus act
. Everything with you always is.” She stood up and wandered over to her front window. Pulling the curtain back, she scowled. “You haven’t even been back in my life for twenty-four hours yet and I’ve got the media camped out in my front yard.”

She dropped the curtain and turned back around to face me. “I’m starting an intense graduate program in September at one of the most competitive schools in the nation. I’ll never get through it if the paparazzi are hounding me 24/7.”

She rubbed her temples again, seriously stressed. I wanted to help somehow, but there was nothing I could do about the reporters and photographers. They would always be there. They were a part of life for me.

I got up and crossed the room to her, relieved when she let me take her hands in mine. “This is just because we’re new right now,” I promised. “The media frenzy will die down before you start school.”

She slammed me with a severe look. “No, it won’t. You’re an instigator, Kyle, a showboat. You ham it up for the cameras and they follow you around like dogs hoping you’ll throw them another treat. Your life will always be
that
.” She thrust her hand toward the door, indicating the reporters on the lawn. “I don’t want that. I hate the craziness.”

Her tone was angry, accusing, and it hurt my feelings as much as it pissed me off. “Oh, and like dating you is going to be a picnic?”

Val flinched, so I tried to pull back my temper. “I want to have sex with you,” I admitted. “More than anything.” At her surprise, I held my hands out and shrugged helplessly. “I want to take you into your bedroom right now and do things to your body that will have you screaming my name in ecstasy. I’ve never wanted anything more in my entire life. I hate that I can’t touch you. I
hate
it.”

Val pulled her hands free and took a step back—a step away from me. “But…” Her eyes fell to the bracelet on my wrist. “You’re already abstaining. You gave up sex on your own.”

“I gave up
casual
sex,” I clarified. “I gave up sex with strangers. I’ve abstained because I haven’t had anyone I really cared about. I don’t want making love to be meaningless anymore. But if I’m in a committed relationship, that changes things.”

She looked stunned.

“I’m sorry, Val, but I happen to think sexual intimacy is a vital part of a relationship. I can admit now that sex is special and that you should wait until you care about someone to be with them, but I will never understand why you have to have a marriage stamp on it first. I’ll definitely never agree with it. I still think you’re making a stupid choice. Waiting for marriage is pointless.”

Val’s eyes filled with tears. I didn’t want to hurt her, but she needed to know how I felt. I had to be honest. I was going to struggle with this, and she needed to know that.

“Then what are you doing here?” she asked. “If you hate it so much and you think I’m being an idiot, then why come back? Why ask me to be in a relationship?”

That was the question of the hour, wasn’t it? “Because you’re worth it.”

I stepped toward her again, and when she tried to back up I kept moving closer until I had her backed against a wall. She turned her head away, but I pulled her chin up and forced her to look into my eyes. If there was ever one thing I wanted her to understand, ever one thing I needed her to believe, it was this.

“I’m willing to make the sacrifice because I think you’re worth it. I’m not going to like everything about you, and you’re not going to like everything about me, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make this work.”

Val shut her eyes against more tears. As much as I hated that I was the cause of her sadness, I thought she looked beautiful with the water tangling in her lashes. A drop escaped and fell down her cheek, and I wiped it away with my thumb.

“We have something special,” I said in a low voice. “I can feel it. I think you can, too. So I am going to take the bad with the good and ask that you try to do the same. I can’t help the fame. Not only is it my job, I love it. I’m a complete attention whore. I know that. I’m not going to deny it. I’m asking you to accept it. I know you hate it, but it’s as much a part of me as the virgin thing is a part of you.”

Val swallowed back her emotions and nodded. “Okay.” The promise came out small and strangled. “You’re right. I can’t expect you to make all the sacrifices. I’ll find a way to deal with the fame.”

A weight lifted off my chest that I hadn’t realized was there, and I let out a breath I’d been holding in my lungs. “Thank you,” I said as I pressed a light kiss to her lips.

She finally opened her big, beautiful brown eyes and stared into mine. Her uncertainty and fear shone through in her gaze, but along with the vulnerability I saw hope. “Please be worth it,” she whispered.

The doubt should have stung, but instead it settled my nerves. She wasn’t sure about us, but she was willing to take the chance. That took courage—something Val’s always had in abundance, and one of the things I liked best about her.

I felt the corners of my mouth curve into a smile. “I’ll do my best,” I promised and kissed her again. This time I let it linger, and she wrapped her arms around my neck. I pulled her away from the wall and wrapped her tightly in my arms, needing the connection as much as I’m sure she did right then. We pulled apart when we heard a loud sniffle.

“That was so beautiful,” a weepy voice said. “You guys are totally going to make it.”

I turned to see a bathrobe-clad blonde smiling at us from the mouth of the hallway. She dabbed her eyes with a tissue and held out the box. Val laughed as she took a tissue. I was pretty sure I was missing an inside joke.

The two women hugged, and then Val pushed her friend toward me. “Kyle, this is my roommate, Stephanie. Stephanie just got engaged a couple of weeks ago and it’s made her a bit emotional. She cries at everything now. Movies, songs, books, girl talk…there was even this one time when she was doing laundry.”

Stephanie playfully shoved Val. “I’m just so happy,” she said. “Austin and I have been together for three years. I didn’t think he’d ever ask. The engagement was a complete surprise.”

I didn’t ask questions. Cara and Adrianna had both been all gooey, emotional messes after they got engaged, too. Eventually, that phase passed and the bridezilla stage kicked in. I didn’t think this woman needed to hear that she’d soon give up her tears of joy and become a neurotic, anal control freak, so I just held out my hand and said, “Congratulations.”

Stephanie’s face flushed as she shook my hand. “It’s nice to finally meet you,” she said. “I was there through most of the events of senior year, but I’m sure you don’t remember me. Back then you only ever had eyes for Val.”

My eyes automatically went back to Val and I smiled at her pink cheeks.

“I guess not much has changed.”

When I realized I was staring, I laughed and pulled Val back into my arms. “Some things have changed. For instance, I’m allowed to kiss her now.”

I went ahead and proved my point.

“So about the rest of the weekend…,” I said.

Val shrugged. “I’ve got no plans until work Monday.”

Just what I was hoping to hear. “Good. I’ve got more than enough plans for the both of us, but I’m afraid they’ll require you to be showered and dressed.” Unable to resist, I grinned and said, “Would you like some help with that?”

“Yup.” Stephanie laughed again. “Definitely still the same Kyle.”

I was startled when my
phone buzzed in my back pocket. I’d been on edge for days.

Hey rock star. How did the interview go?

Relief flooded me when I saw it was Val who’d texted me. We’d had the most amazing weekend together, and then I flew home on Monday and hadn’t gotten anything more from her than a couple of random texts in three days. She’d been swamped at work and I had this interview coming up, so I’d flown home. Val hadn’t said anything about when we’d see each other again.

Still waiting
I texted back.
Not sure what the hold up is.

I’d wish you luck but you don’t need it. You’re going to rock it.

I was new to long-distance relationships. I didn’t like that we’d left things open-ended. Val was so caught up in her crazy, full-speed-ahead world. I wondered if she even realized it’d been three days and we hadn’t talked. Maybe that was normal for her in a relationship, but I was kind of an all or nothing guy. I didn’t want to ask outright if she wanted to come down to L.A. this weekend, but what could I say to drop the hint?

Wish you were here. You should be doing this interview with me.

I wish I were there too. I miss you.

Well, that answered nothing. But at least she missed me. At least I’d crossed her mind once or twice since I left. Another text followed her last one.

Is that lame? Saying I miss you? I know it’s only been three days.

I felt a smile creep onto my face. Probably the first one I’d managed all day. She was worried about saying she missed me, while I was struggling not to jump on another plane.

Not lame
I typed back.
I miss you too. All my other girlfriends down here aren’t as fun as you.

HA. HA. Not funny.

I laughed.
You’re sexy when you’re jealous.

I’ve got to go. I’m meeting my other boyfriend for lunch.

You’re right. It’s not funny.

See?

You’re not really going out to lunch with some guy are you?

Aw, you’re so cute when you’re jealous.

Okay, you got me.

Good. I really do have to go though. Late for a meeting. I’ll talk to you soon, okay?