A Kiss For a Cure (11 page)

His fingers fanned across her collarbone. “I know. I can tell, remember?”

She wanted to kiss him. She could tell the moment Cai sensed her urge. His eyes widened, then narrowed. He cupped the back of her head and Jordan tipped onto her toes to offer him her mouth.

She wasn’t a Galairian, but she could feel their connection. It had to be her hormones. She hadn’t had sex in such a long time, maybe she could blame it on that. But it was more than sex, she was smart enough to know her mind. Her noble parentage made her a pariah in normal social circles. Dating wasn’t easy. Living in close quarters with Cai, the kissing and sleeping together knocked her off balance. She was with someone who understood her and they shared something beautiful, if momentary.

* * * *

A shrill alarm cut through the rising sexual haze. Cai willed the sound to go away. Jordan was thirty seconds from climbing him like a trapeze.

She dropped to her heels, one hand still clutching his arm while the other cradled the delicate glass ornaments. Her lips parted and her gaze unfocused. Despite the underlying hunger, there was panic there that ruined it for him.

“Lunch,” he said, mustering a smile when all he wanted to do was carry her into the bedroom and strip her down. “I’ve got it.”

She turned back to the tree. He pulled the quiche out of the CU and got plates. She carefully placed the ornaments on the tree, checking that each was secure before she let it go. Whatever happened, he was glad he’d given her this.

She pulled herself together so that when he brought her food she could think. He helped her finish decorating, and they sat back to enjoy lunch in the glow of the beautiful tree. He encouraged her to continue talking about mundane things to keep her from bringing up the impending trip to the lab. He didn’t want this cure, he didn’t want her to have a reason to cut him loose, and he certainly didn’t want to talk about it.

Jordan checked the time. “We should go. I have the lab reserved for the next two hours. I don’t want to leave anything to chance this time. I want to be able to track the results.”

Cai took their plates back to the kitchen and tidied up, dragging his feet.

“You okay?”

He twined their fingers together. “Yeah.” She was worried and anxious. But why? Did she want rid of him that badly?

They didn’t talk on the way to the lab. She grew increasingly nervous, which didn’t help him any.

Jordan directed him to lie in a tube that smelled of salt water. It seemed obvious the tube normally held marine life, and not an air breather like himself.

“Okay, you ready for this?” She stood at his side, the injector in hand.

“Not really, but you’re here.”

“Your arm please, sir.”

The injection didn’t hurt, and there were no immediate results. She closed him into the tube and stood at a panel near his shoulder, staring intently at a screen. Slowly his anxiety leeched out of him. The aroma of fish and brine made his stomach roll. After minutes passed without anything changing, the tube depressurized and the top slowly lifted. He pushed it up and swung his legs over the side.

“How do you feel?” She bounced on the balls of her feet, looking like a kid at Christmas.

“Fine.” He thrust his hand through his hair.

“That’s great. It worked.”

“What?” Freezing, he ran through a mental checklist. He felt fine. He reached for Jordan, but she sidestepped him.

“No, we need to test it. No feedback unless you need it. This could be it.”

“Great,” he replied without enthusiasm.

“I want to run some more tests, so go stand over there and let me scan you.”

He did as she asked, keeping his opinions to himself. He could still sense her across the lab, but he didn’t need the feedback.

Jordan continued to dance away from him, keeping space in the lab while she ran tests and synthesized more of her magic cure. His hands itched to touch her, to hold another person but she never gave him the chance, even after they returned to her quarters. Long after he should have needed some feedback, he was fine, but his insides were hollow.

He stood at the window, gazing out onto the reef. Jordan’s smiling face reflected at his shoulder.

“You should need another dose by now.”

She made the mistake of coming within snatching distance. Turning, he grabbed her by the arm and hauled her against his chest, the feedback so intense it swelled the glands at his jaws.

“Cai, what are you doing?” She pressed her hands against his chest, but he didn’t let her go. He’d allowed her to push him around, but he wasn’t going to stand for it anymore.

“The serum works. I don’t want to take it.” His voice sounded raw to his own ears.

She blinked. “But, why? I thought you wanted it.”

“It works, but it’s like eating sweets instead of real food. It fills you up.” He ran his fingers over her cheek. “But it doesn’t satisfy you.”

Jordan gaped at him. “What do you want me to do? I don’t know–”

“The serum works, Jor. But just because it works doesn’t mean it’s a substitute for the real thing. It’s fine as it is. Leave it alone.”

“I don’t understand.”

He tucked her closer against him. “Jor, you don’t want a relationship because to you it’s everything you’ve left behind. I don’t even know if you realize it, but you lump me in with the asshats who hurt you when you were younger. You think of being attached to people as a curse. I see it differently. I want that. You might not, but I do. There’s no substitute for a living, breathing person. You can’t bottle it, you can’t hug a holo or talk to a shark, because they don’t talk back, they don’t care about you.”

For a long moment neither said a thing.

Anger flared hot and spicy on his tongue. Jordan planted her hands on his chest and shoved. He stepped back, giving her space he didn’t want to grant.

“Where do you get off saying that?” Jordan balled her hands into fists. “All I’m trying to do is help you.”

Shoving his hands through his hair, he pulled the elastic band free. A face-off with her was not what he wanted, but ne needed to feel something. “And I’m trying to show you that you’re wrong, but you don’t listen.”

“You don’t even know me.”

“You don’t know yourself. You hide from yourself.”

“I do not.” She tossed her hands up. “You think that just because you can tell how I feel, you know everything about me? Well you don’t.”

“I understand a lot more than you realize, Jor.”

“Jor
dan
. And what do you understand?” She rolled her eyes.

“More than you want me to.”

“That’s vague.” She crossed her arms. “Look, you think my life is terrible, that’s nice, but this is my life. I like it. You don’t? So what. I filed for an annulment. You can leave.”

Cold shock slapped him in the face. “You don’t mean that.”

“Why not?” She shrugged. “You’re on your way out anyway. It’s not like you’re planning on staying.”

“When did I decide that?”

“The first day you were here. I booked a shuttle for you tomorrow.”

“You what?” Anger was gaining traction. Why did she think she could make his decisions for him? Did she care for him so little? Was he not owed some kind of decency? “I don’t even get a say in this?”

“I thought I was doing something nice for you.” Her voice rose higher.

“You just want me gone. Do you like being alone that much?” He shoved a hand through his hair. “I didn’t mean that. Fuck. Jor, you make me crazy.”

Silence.

“Jor. Jordan.” He grasped her arms when she tried to walk away from him.

“Incoming communication,” a computerized voice announced.

Jordan jerked out of his hold. “Sender?”

“Identification, parents.”

She glared at him on her way to the comm panel near the entrance. “Connect me.”

The elderly valet appeared on screen. The corners of his mouth turned up, the most expression Cai’d seen on the man’s face. “Lady Amelia for you, ma’am.”

“Hi, Jerry. What does Mom want?” She scrubbed her hand through her hair, tension radiating off her in waves.

“I’m not privy to that information, ma’am. Allow me connect you to her?”

“Thanks Jerry. Happy holidays.”

“Happy holidays, ma’am. Here is her ladyship.”

The screen blipped, resolving into the elegant image of Lady Amelia. “Jordan, darling. Happy holidays.”

“Hi, Mom.”

Amelia’s sharp gaze went past her daughter to him. Her delicately arched brows lifted. “Whatever are you doing there?”

Jordan glared at him over her shoulder.

“My stasis malfunctioned, Lady.” He inclined his head to show respect. Though Lady Amelia and her consort hired him, they were also his in-laws for the time being.

“That’s a pity. I wanted you to be a surprise. I guess we can plan a reception then, hm?”

His body tensed. Talk about bad timing. Jordan gripped the bottom of the console.

“A party? Mom, I think you’re getting ahead of yourself.”

Lady Amelia’s attention turned to him. There was no feeling in the woman. She was beautiful, but none of it touched her eyes. “Cai, if you wouldn’t mind giving my daughter and I a moment?”

He didn’t want to leave. Jordan and her mother held his fate in their hands. Jordan was a missing part of him, but he didn’t think they would fit if she were forced. But he couldn’t deny a direct request. Bowing his head, he excused himself.

* * * *

Jordan never defied her parents. She hadn’t acted out. She rarely got into trouble of her own making. She’d gone to great efforts to make herself as forgettable as possible. And it worked. For over ten years she’d faded into the background of her parent’s lives.

“Is he gone?” Amelia leaned back into the throne like chair. Though Jordan couldn’t place the furniture, she knew the view behind her mother was the one from her personal office.

“Yes, mother, he’s gone. How could you send me a husband?” Her voice cracked. She hadn’t allowed herself to think about how her parents presented Cai as a pleasure slave. It infuriated her.

“It was the most comfortable way to transport him. I assume he’s enlightened you about his particular needs?” There was no innuendo implied, her mother was too proper for that.

“I figured out a serum which resolves that issue. I’m sending him away tomorrow, and I filed for an annulment.”

Her mother didn’t even lift a brow. “Jordan, be reasonable. It’s Christmas Eve tomorrow.”

“He should be able to be with his family. He should be able to choose what he wants to do.”

“Darling, Cai chose you. He had his pick from more than a dozen offers. He picked you, sight unseen. No one made him go to you.”

“That’s not a good enough reason to be with someone, mother.”

“Jordan, Cai will die without someone he can depend on, someone who won’t take advantage of him.”

“There’s got to be someone of his own race–”

“Cai is not allowed back to his planet.”

“What?”

Amelia folded her hands on her desk and leaned forward. “When the males are turned over to their off-world brides, they are not brought back unless by request of the matriarch of the family.”

Her jaw dropped. “That’s unfair.”

“That’s their culture,” Amelia said with a shrug.

Shaking her head, Jordan reminded herself of the other benefits of her serum. “With my cure he doesn’t have to go home. He can go anywhere he wants.”

Amelia studied her for a moment. “Do you dislike him so much?”

“What?” She shook her head. “No, he’s nice.”

“Then why are you refusing him?”

“It’s not about refusing or liking him–”

Her mother sighed. Actually sighed. The sound silenced her like few things would. Sighing was an unrefined habit her mother tried to train out of her. “Jordan, I need to dress so let’s make this quick. You are, socially speaking, on the shelf. As my child, once you reach thirty you will join the rotation pool, legitimacy of birth aside, and a husband will be chosen for you. Since no one has vied for your attention to date, and you have not shown interest in someone else, we made this gesture hoping to settle you happily. Matches will not come favorably. They will wait until you are in the rotation, and marry you without conditions or provisions for your wants or desires. You’ve lived a free life, within reason. We’ve allowed you all the room to be happy, but you have ignored this protocol. Think about it. I would love to see you happy.” Her words and tone didn’t match up. No warmth reached her eyes, and Jordan didn’t believe her mother cared about her happiness.

Jordan’s brain reeled. She knew the law about rotating the blood among the peers, but she’d been sure it didn’t extend to her. “But–”

“Think about it. Cai is a charming young man. He is also dependent on his arranged mate. He won’t take advantage of you, your children will be out of the peer rotation and you can make a life that pleases you. He has the necessary training to also keep you safe from the riffraff. Angelique, you remember her? She was kidnapped weeks ago; the end did not go well. There are many things I did for selfish reasons. One of those was having you. The price you’ve paid, being my daughter, is unique. But, you can form your future. You’re strong enough, I think.” Leaning back, she glanced off screen. “Now, I must dress, darling. Let me know what your decision will be. Happy holidays.”

The screen went black, just like Jordan’s mind. Her thoughts refused to gain traction. She wheeled around, only to stop and gaze at the tree. The tree Cai purchased for her, so she could have Christmas. She’d thought she escaped the life her family led, only to learn she was still on a leash. Marrying Cai would provide her with an out, but she couldn’t rope someone else into the their circus.

She didn’t want to spend her life alone. It hadn’t been a conscious decision on her part. But forcing Cai to be that person was wrong, regardless of how much she cared for him.

Standing next to the tree, with the miniature sharks suspended on the boughs, backlit by the lights and the ocean beyond, Jordan could see her life slipping out of control. She couldn’t blame her ignorance on her parents. They’d provided her the opportunities to learn, to know the rules and she’d ignored them. She’d always slacked when it came to studying law.