A Lethal Legacy (17 page)

Then I told them both
about finding her naked from the waist up on a chair in the kitchen. Claire
sadly shook her head. Kristina sat quietly.

"I haven't
wanted to overly alarm you, Ed, but she's been doing strange things like that
for awhile,” Claire said. “One day we took her and Susan to the country club
for lunch. They have the buffet set up in the center of the room, you know. We
had made it back to our seats and no Marge. We looked up and saw her standing
in the middle of the room with her filled plate looking so forlorn and lost.
Philip went to her and she said, 'I forgot where I was.'"

"According to
the doctor, it's going to be like that all the time at some point,” I said. “I'm
going to have to face the fact that I can't take care of her in that condition.
But I don't think I'm ready to move her to a nursing home."

"No, but you
might want to get her on a waiting list. There are only a few really good
places, and then only a couple of those take Alzheimer's patients. Friends have
told me that the waiting time can be up to a year."

"Ed, I'll go
with you to look at those places next week, if you'd like," Kristina said.

"Thanks, both of
you. That's probably a good idea."

When we arrived back
in Ocala, Philip came out to greet us in the driveway. He acted as if we had
all been away on a vacation instead of caring for Gary during his final days. I
left the three of them with the luggage in the kitchen, then I headed over to
Mom’s and Susan's to check on them.

True to her word,
Kristina only stayed two weeks. Her grandparents enjoyed her visit, and so did
I. We spent one day at Daytona Beach, and then decided to take one of the ocean
front suites for the night. When we weren't making love, it was almost like
having Gary back with me. I managed to keep the guilt at bay as we learned more
about one another. We never talked about the future except where it concerned
my mother. By not examining our experience together in light of where our
relationship might go, I could easily accept it for what it was. I felt the
healing powers of the ocean and Kristina's need for me sooth the ache I had
whenever I thought of Gary.

Kristina helped me
enjoy some lighter moments when we went to Daytona. It felt good to laugh again
especially when we had our picture taken in one of the small booths that line
Daytona's boardwalk.

After long talks with
Claire, Susan, and Kristina, I made some decisions about my mother. First,
Claire and Philip invited Susan to move into their guest room. She gratefully
accepted. Worry about her sister-in-law had been quietly eating away at my
sensitive aunt. I decided for the time being to move into Susan's bedroom at
the apartment. That way I could watch over Mom while I decided what would be
the best thing for her. I hoped that my writing wouldn't suffer, but I also
knew at this point that I really had no other options. Mom needed someone with
her, and my schedule allowed me to be that person. I knew that either Claire or
Susan would help when I needed them.

Kristina and I
visited some of the Alzheimer's facilities in the area during her visit. Only
one seemed to fit my concept of a place for my mother to live out her final
days. I put her name on the waiting list.

Just one small
occurrence during Kristina's visit toward the end of the stay haunted me. All
of us, Philip, Claire, Mom, Kristina, Susan and I, sat in Claire’s and Philip's
living room one evening. Philip took great pride in his stock portfolio that he
had set up with Merrill Lynch after his retirement. He kept the monthly
statements in a three-ring binder next to his chair. Quite often sitting with
them in the evenings, he would open up the notebook and look over the reports
and then show me what had happened to particular stocks over the previous
month. He had established a nice nest egg that he and Claire didn't really need
at the present time. Philip's pension provided quite nicely for them since they
had paid cash for the house. On this one particular night, Philip again pulled
out the notebook and began explaining its contents to Kristina who sat at his
feet listening intently.

"Wow, Grandpa,
it's worth more than $200,000! What are you going to do with that?" she
asked.

"I'm going to
leave it for now and let it continue to grow. The potential for growth is
greater if you just keep reinvesting, you know," he told her.

"That's a lot of
money." Kristina's eyes moved up and down the page in front of her.

"You know, now
that Gary is gone, this will all be yours one day. All yours," he told her
with pride.

"Really? All
mine? "

"After your
grandmother and I are gone, you'll be the only one left," he said.

Kristina sat back
against the chair and smiled between half-closed eyes, savoring the news that
her grandfather had just given her.

Later in the kitchen,
Claire handed me a beer.

"You know that's
the first time he's mentioned Gary's death," she said. "And all
because of money."

I took Kristina to
the airport in Orlando for her flight back to New Orleans. At the departure
gate, she turned to give me a long kiss.

"Ed, I love you.
You know where I am if you want me."

"Kristina..."

"Wait, don't say
it. I know. I'm too young, we're cousins, this is wrong. I don't believe that.
I don't know how I would have survived the last few weeks without you, and I
wouldn't care what anyone thought if you decided to come after me. None of
those things matter. We could always go to Mexico and live."

"And you'd be
happy with me for about two seconds." I kissed the top of her forehead and
gave her one last hug. I wasn't sure what I had started by sleeping with
Kristina, but I felt lighter as she walked toward her gate.

After Kristina went
back to New Orleans, Claire told me that they had sent her off with a hefty
check so she could begin taking classes at the community college.

I didn't hear from
Kristina or anything about her until Claire and Philip told me just before
Christmas that she had called and asked to come visit for the holidays. She
asked Philip hesitantly, he said, because she didn't have any money for a
ticket. She told Philip that Pam had been badgering her about money and coming
to Las Vegas for the holidays. She just wanted to get away. He made plane
reservations for her.

By Christmas 1989, I
had moved to Ocala and into my mother's apartment. For the past year, her
Alzheimer's seemed to level off, and she only had momentary spells of
forgetfulness. However, I felt like my life was in limbo, waiting for something
to happen.

When Kristina came to
Ocala for that first Christmas after Gary's death, I decided to stay away from
her as much as possible during her visit. I recently started dating a woman who
I had met at a writer's conference in Daytona over the summer. 

Cassie, a writing
teacher at the local community college, was sweet and newly divorced and almost
fifteen years younger than me. But she had been able to provide a balance of
sorts for me. My mother was always calm when Cassie visited, and I found myself
enjoying her quiet presence more and more. I didn't want Kristina disrupting
anything I had established since my move to Ocala.

I worried what
Kristina might say or do in her presence.

The last time
Kristina and I had been together in Daytona we had grown close, and I wasn't
sure if Kristina would be able to share me with someone else. As long as she
had been back in the family, I remained single, until this visit.

However, I would not
be able to avoid her completely. On Christmas Day, we all came together at
Claire’s and Philip's house, although Cassie went to visit her family in
Deland. It didn't take the aunts long to tell Kristina about my new girlfriend.

"Isn't that
nice. Tell me about her," Kristina said sweetly after Susan announced the
news.

"Not much to
tell. You'll meet her this week, I'm sure," I said.

"I can't
wait."

Later when we had a
moment alone in the kitchen, Kristina let her real feelings show.

"So, Cassie,
huh? Is she as good as me? Can she do for you what I can do?" She stood
very close to me as I reached into the refrigerator for a beer.

"Kristina, I
refuse to answer that." I twisted the cap off the bottle and took a long
swig.

"Have you
forgotten me?" she asked as she reached for my face.

"I'd like
to." I pushed her hand away.

"Ed, why are you
being so mean to me? I just wondered why you started up with someone else when
you know you love me?"

"Kristina, drop
it. We can't be together. We only helped each other out when Gary died. That's
it." I turned away from her and walked into the living room.

I managed to avoid
seeing her for the next week. However, on New Year's Eve, Philip and Claire's
club was holding a dance, and I had long ago purchased tickets from Claire.
Cassie and I made plans to attend before Kristina mentioned her intentions to
visit. 

Claire told me that
she was introducing Kristina to many of her friends and their single sons who
also had come home for the holidays. I think the three of them attended every
cocktail party and holiday happening since Kristina's arrival.

When Cassie and I
entered the club, I saw Kristina immediately. She was hard to miss with her
strapless black gown and shining diamond necklace and earrings that I
recognized from Claire's collection. She would be difficult to ignore tonight.

"You look
lovely, Kristina," I said as I bent to give her a cursory hug. "This
is my friend, Cassie. Cassie, my cousin's kid, Kristina."

"She's hardly a
kid, Ed, or haven't you looked at her lately? Nice to meet you, Kristina. Your
grandparents speak of you often," Cassie said as she held out her hand in
greeting.

"What? Cousin Ed
hasn't been telling you all about me?" she asked teasingly with a twinkle
in her eye reserved just for me.

"If you'll
excuse us, Kris, I see Philip and Claire." I nodded formally to her as I
placed my hand on Cassie's back to guide her away.

We spent the rest of
the evening dancing and drinking, waiting for the magic moment of midnight to
ring in the 1990s, the last decade of the century. I tried not to watch the
spectacle Kristina was making of herself at the next table. Howard Mickle,
Philip and Claire's neighbor, seemed quite taken with the young woman sitting
next to him. Kris poured all of her attention on him. Howard, recently widowed,
was the president of a large manufactured home company in Ocala. He was more
than thirty years older than Kristina and hardly her type, but he lapped up the
attention.

I saw Claire by the
buffet table and decided to go and talk to her about Kristina's outrageous
behavior.

"Hi, Ed, isn't
this the most fantasticist party ever," she said.

"Sure is, Aunt
Claire. Kristina looks lovely tonight. Did you lend her some jewelry?"

"I gave those to
her. She stood to get them anyway, and I have so much. Besides they look a
whole lot better on her at this stage of the game."

"She seems to be
spending an awful lot of time with Howard," I said.

"Isn't she the
sweetest thing! Howard has been so lonely since Helen died. Kris has been
lovely to all of our friends. I think everyone, including Howard, is just a
little bit in love with her."

So much for getting
Claire to notice what was happening at the table next to us. When I returned to
my seat, I glanced at Kris and noticed one of her hands under the table. Howard
was leaning back in his chair looking enthralled with whatever she said or was
doing underneath the tablecloth. As much as I detested what was happening, I
also found myself quite jealous of Howard's position.

The next day Cassie
and I ran into Kristina and Howard at the club's morning-after brunch. They sat
very close to one another, and I even saw Kristina lean over and kiss his ear
at one point.

I ran into Kristina
at the buffet bar.

"Good morning,
Ed."

"Kristina. Looks
like you've made quite a friend there with old Howard.

"Howard's a
sweetheart. And he's not afraid to be seen with me in public. Are  you jealous
yet?"

"Don't bother,
Kristina. I'm quite content with Cassie." I walked back to the table as it
dawned on me that Kristina's displays with Howard were for my benefit.

The following day
Claire called to tell me that Kristina had abruptly left town. She said she
needed to get back for school even though she had originally planned on staying
for another week. Claire also mentioned in passing that Howard had just called
her asking for Kris.

"You know when I
told him that she had left to go home, he almost seemed angry. I guess he
developed quite a crush on Kris. She was so sweet to him," she said.

Later in the day, I
decided to pay a visit to Howard out of curiosity.

"Howard, can I
come in for a second?" I asked when he opened the door.