A Life More Complete (26 page)

“At least you’re a little nicer about
it than her.”

We talk about the kids and her job. And
before long it’s late so we say our good-byes. She tells me she’ll make it out
my way for the wedding. I hang up with her feeling better and resign myself not
to call Tyler again.

I spend the rest of the night working
on a whole bunch of press packets that I should have done weeks ago. It keeps
my mind occupied long enough to forget about the fact that Tyler is currently possibly
cheating on me. Just as my thoughts begin to drift back into the realm of crazy
my Skype alert goes off.

“Hi kid. Miss you,” Tyler says as his
face appears on the screen and his lips move unconnected to the words. The
screen freezes slightly and picks back up in time with his words.

“Miss you, too. Where’ve you been?” I’m
smiling, but feeling slightly nervous about what he might say and how I’m
possibly going to explain the excessive amount of phone calls that I bombarded
his phone with.

“I was working out and then I had
dinner with my parents. Did you try to call?”

I can’t tell if he’s being sarcastic
and asking because he can see the seven calls I made to him in just under a
half an hour. I play dumb.

“I did. It was a while ago. I’ve been
working on some stuff for work. It’s been a boring night.”

“I turned my phone off during dinner.
My mom hates when it rings during dinner, which is ironic because that is all
her phone does. She rationalizes it by saying she’s a doctor.”

I sigh inwardly calming my over-stressed
nerves and I finally can relax knowing that my irrational conscience is totally
wrong.

“I am so busy next week and the week
after. I have to be in New York for a few days and then in Seattle. When I
finally get home I have three full days of a press junket. I don’t think we’re
ever going to get a minute when we’re home together.”

 
“That sucks, but I’ll be busy, too. I
have to fly back out here to finish up one last trial and then I’ll be around
more. Don’t worry about it. I promise you things will work out. I can tell you’re
worried. But don’t because I love you.”

This makes me smile and in turn Tyler
smiles brightly at me through the computer screen. I know I love him and I hope
that we can make this work.

“How are your parents?” I ask even
though I am not sure I really care.

“Good. The usual. At least we get
along now that I’m an adult. It also doesn’t hurt that I’m actually successful.
They didn’t really want to talk about the engagement though. Neither of them
said it but I can tell they don’t approve.” He shrugs his shoulders and runs
his hand through his hair. “Oh yeah, and my mom told me to tell you that she’s
glad you found a hobby to keep you busy.”

“What hobby?” I’m totally confused by
this comment. The only hobby I have is running and I know she doesn’t mean
that.

“She means your job. Passive
aggressive to say the least,” Tyler says.

“I wish I liked my job as much as a
hobby. Next time tell her that I love my little hobby so much I don’t even get
paid to do it. Because if I got paid it would be a job, oh wait, I do get paid.
Boy, she hasn’t changed at all. Maybe I should start on the hunt for a “real
career” so that she isn’t embarrassed by my fake one.”

That little bit of information has me
fuming. I work hard at my job, even though I hate it. That doesn’t mean someone
can mock it and call it a “hobby”. A hobby, it definitely is not, but that
makes no difference to Tyler’s mom. I am not a doctor or a lawyer. I don’t own
a widely known and successful production company or a have a seat on the
Chicago Board of Trade, so that makes my job a hobby. She has failed to see my
success.

“Oh, relax. She’s a pain in the ass. I
just thought it was a funny comment. Obviously she was serious and also being
patronizing, but who cares. I don’t.”

“You’re right. I just don’t want to
have to deal with her petty comments every time we see them.”

“We don’t have to see them if you don’t
want to. Let’s stop talking about this, I’m getting annoyed.” He exhales loudly
and runs his hand through his hair again. “I was thinking it might be time for
you to get a new car.”

“Why? I like my car.”

“Because it’s getting old and it’s
the kind of car you buy for a sixteen year old girl.”

I roll my eyes. Everyone mocks my
little car.

“There’s nothing wrong with it and it’s
only seven years old. People keep cars far longer than that. And why is it your
business what kind of car I drive? I don’t like it when you tell me what to do.”

“This isn’t supposed to be an
argument, Krissy. It was just an idea. A bad one. I can see that now. Forget I
asked.”

“Sorry. It’s just that it’s the first
new car I ever bought on my own. It holds some sentimental value.”

“I just thought that now that we have
two incomes you might want something nicer, newer. We can just go look and if
you still want to keep your old car, then that’s fine. “

“Okay,” I concede, smiling lightly.

“Maybe this weekend? We can go check
out a few dealers. I’ve been doing some research.”

“As long as you don’t try to get me
to buy a Range Rover. It will never happen.”

He furrows his brow and glares at me.
I giggle and wrinkle my nose at him. This is the Tyler that I love. The one
that is silly and fun.

“No Range Rover, I promise.” He laughs
and his eyes crinkle at the corners. “I have to get to bed. I’m exhausted. I
love you.”

“Love you, too.”

The next night I meet up with Trini
for the first time in weeks. Somehow with Tyler’s assistance and a judge that
is obviously taking pity on her, Trini avoids jail time. Shocking to the media
and in all honesty, me too. With Tyler gone I have more free time in the
evenings so I agree to meet her for a late dinner. She looks better than she
has in weeks and I truly hope this the end of her troubles. She bleached her
naturally light brown hair to platinum blonde and it suits her, blending well
with her tanned skin and blue eyes. She would have been nearly unrecognizable
to most of the public, but the pictures of her leaving the salon hit the
internet just hours after the transformation and with her trying to repeal the
nasty image her behavior has left her with, she started a Twitter account. The
new hairstyle posted to Twitter with a picture of her looking adorably cute
posing in her bathroom mirror wearing a slightly cropped pink tank top and
bikini bottoms. She knows exactly what she is doing and right now millions of
teenage boys are beating off to that picture and their girlfriends are wishing
they were her. If she can stay out of trouble she’ll be back like she never
even left because it’s what she does. At nineteen she is a media genius, a
public relations nightmare and a perfect example of how to stay relevant. She
knows any press will get her noticed and if she can mix the right amount of bad
with the good she will land on top every time.

Right now, that’s exactly what she’s
doing, by being seen with me. That ups her positive media coverage. She’s
getting her life back on track or at least that’s what she wants the media to
think. She’s dining with her publicist. It’s normal. She’s sitting at a table in
the back of a popular restaurant that I normally wouldn’t be caught dead in. She
eyes me from across the room and jumps to her feet. Her hands flap in front of
her excitedly as I approach. She pulls me into a hug and squeals in my ear. This
is the Trini I know. I can’t tell if it’s an act because she plays her life
that well.

I remember back to the first review
she was given after she broke free of her image as a child star. I don’t think
anyone thought she’d prove to be an actress that could stand the test of time. Her
first role after her show ended was as a teenage prostitute and the reviews
were stellar. She’s an amazing actress and something tells me that’s because
she is legitimately crazy. I think you have to be a little bit crazy to be able
to constantly play someone you’re not.

“I’m so glad to see you,” she says
taking a seat across from me. “It’s been too long since we’ve done this. How
are you? How’s Tyler?”

I talk to Trini at least once a week
but mostly to check in on her. Our conversations are never very detailed due to
the fact that most of the time she was slipping in and out of lucidity. She has
pulled it together famously over the last week or so and the change in her is
phenomenal. I know she’s been offered two movie roles and one small part on a
television show. She’s agreed to all three and seems to be out to prove she’s
not slowly fading away.

“Things are good. You look well. I’m
so glad things are better for you.”

“Well, my medication is under control
now and my doctor thinks that’s what caused all my problems over the past few
months. I was self medicating to compensate for not being able to control my
life. Turns out that I’ll always be a whiny pain in the ass. That’s just my
personality. Sorry.” She smiles and giggles her perfect little laugh.

“I’m so glad. It was hard to see you
like that. But I wouldn’t trade you for the world. I told you a long time ago I
wouldn’t leave you and I won’t. Whiny pain in the ass or not I still love you.”

“Thank you. You’ve always been there
for me when no one else was and without you I know I wouldn’t be here right
now. Between you and now Tyler, I’ve realized that there are people who care
about me.”

I want to tell her she’s wrong about
Tyler, but I let her have her moment. I know he doesn’t care about her the way
I do, but he’ll do his best to help her.

We finish our dinner quietly. Afterward
she poses for pictures and talks with fans. Everything is exactly as it should
be according to the unwritten laws of being a celebrity. We leave the
restaurant only to be almost trampled by the hundreds of waiting paparazzi and
their flashing cameras and loud voices. They’re screaming Trini’s name and she
stops and flashes them her perfect smile. She addresses them as if they’re her
disciples and in a way they are. They’re hanging on her every word, laughing at
her and joking around.

“I’m sure you all thought I’d be
drunk so you’d have something to talk about tomorrow,” she says beaming. “Well,
I’m not. I’m here with my wonderful publicist and friend, Kristin. Do you guys
know her?” She pauses a moment waiting for their response and they reply
instantly with a barrage of yes and no. “She’s amazing and beautiful and she’s
gonna marry my lawyer. She’s so pretty, isn’t she?” she says as she leans over
and kisses my cheek.

I begin to nervously tap my fingers
as I link my arm through Trini’s. I wink at her and she knows that’s our cue to
leave. The crowd trails us down the sidewalk as the valet brings up my car. Trini,
still on a suspended license, climbs in with me as the photographers continue
to take pictures far to close for my liking. Even Trini seems to be getting
annoyed, putting her hand in front of the camera lens and requesting that they
back up. As I attempt to drive away they are still insistent on taking as many
shots as they can get making it impossible for me to pull away from the curb
without almost running someone over.

Trini comes home with me, which is
something we haven’t done in so long, but I welcome it for her sake and for my
own. I don’t want to be alone and with Tyler gone it’s been rather lonely.

I quickly call Tyler as I change into
a pair of pajama pants and t-shirt. He answers on the first ring.

“Hello, my beautiful girl,” he says
making my heart flutter.

“Hi, Ty. I just wanted to let you
know that I won’t be able to talk tonight. Trini came home with me and we’re
gonna watch a movie.”

“Trini?” he questions.

“Yeah, that’s what I said. Why?”

“I thought we talked about keeping
your personal and professional lives separate?” he questions with a little more
force this time.

“We did. But I can’t with Trini. With
everyone else, yes, but not with her.” My voice is quiet and I want to think it’s
because Trini is in the other room, but I know it’s because I’ve crossed one of
Tyler’s lines. “Sorry. She’s a friend, too.”

“Hope this doesn’t back fire on you. Have
a nice night,” he says as if he’s bidding an acquaintance good-bye. It makes my
heart hurt. A dull ache, a guilt that nags at me and I apologize again.

“I love you. Please don’t be mad at
me. It’s my life and I know what I’m doing.”

“I hope you do.”

He makes me feel like a small child. Chastised
for my behavior like I can’t make decisions on my own. Every time he speaks to
me like I’m his to order around I lose a little bit of myself. But I won’t do
anything about it. This is what Rachel was talking about when she said he
ruined me. He takes over my life, turning me into someone I was never meant to
be.

I shout out to Trini that I will be
out in a minute. I grab my phone again and call Tyler. He picks up quickly, but
this time his tone is very different.