A Life Plan Without You. (58 page)

“I can’t dance. Please Michelle I can’t dance.” There she said
it again. I moved her to my side.

“Follow me then it’s dead easy so watch my steps, not, Zoë my
fella, not yours, mine are we clear? I love the perfume too, is it
new? Bill Blass if I’m not mistaken, I wear it too, but I will be
changing it tomorrow.” She knew I was on to her, the look was
enough, she danced nervously and Shane joined us, with him a bevy
of girls. They joined in the dance too. Zoë looked at
me.

“It’s dead easy, watch and learn simply throw your hands in
the air, and move your bum to the music.” She wasn’t as bad as she
thought.

“See you’re great at it, feel the music and just move. Zoë
stop with the Sam thing, I know what you and she did with Andy and
no I won’t tell Sam. He doesn’t need to know. It would kill him, if
he knew what I know about your depravity. Just as long as you know,
I know is enough for me.

I won’t have him hurt again, so bloody stop with trying to get
between us, he’s mine don’t ever forget, you won’t like a mad
Michelle that much I can promise you, fuck with me like you did
tonight and I will hurt you, he doesn’t want you, tonight has
proved that, nice touch throwing the pens and crap in the sanitary
bins you fucking bitch.

I saw you coming in from the toilet drunk, when you joined us
late and you dropped the lipstick you used under the table, I saw
you and when you went to pick it up what did you really do throw it
further under the seats? Fucking quit it. He loves me not you, I am
getting the ring, the knee drop and him all next weekend. If you
fancy taking me on, you will lose and big style.” She looked
mortified and wisely shut her mouth, drunken bitch, but she was
Andy’s drunken bitch, who for some reason he liked. Hot Stuff, by
Donna Summer, she carried on dancing with Shane and the girls, I
went to talk to Andy next, he needs to make this work or let her
go, she want romance I will teach the idiot brother bloody
romance...

“Dance with her you moron, I know all about your tryst with
that girl, she was very eloquent in her talk with the fat piggy
friend in the loo, I know that you pay for her house and you pay
her to keep away from Sam. Well stop, I will sort that bitch out if
she comes anywhere near him, but you are his brother, I don’t
suppose for one minute you did it to hurt him? Zoë though she’s a
different kettle of fish, keep her away from him, because I will,
if I have to, smack her into next week and she has been told that
too! She did the art work, here is her make-up, she gave it me as a
favour to my Dad, I have known all night she was up to something,
the landlady had a look in the bin!

She is desperately seeking love Andy, if you can’t give it her
move on. Sort her out, if you made her feel a tiny bit as special
as Sam does me, she wouldn’t need to look elsewhere and stop with
the lusting after me too. I love your moronic brother, not you and
not your other brother, just Sam, so don’t piss me off Andy, do it,
stop the money, or your sex life won’t be that great with no
fucking balls

I don’t think ball-less Dom’s are a great feature for sex
clubs, and fucking sell the one she has and soon, or I will go
around and picket the brothel that she is running as a hotel and as
I told Zoë don’t fucking push me I’m at the edge of a cliff and I
will push you all over, my safety ropes will be attached to the man
you love, your brother! Who do you think he will choose me or you?
Let’s not find out Andy neither of us want to hurt him that way,
but if it carries on being a problem I will.” I danced with Shane
again, whilst Sam looked on as we danced, he kept asking me if I
was fine.

“Yes, so fine he’s asked me to marry him.” He
smiled.

“Shaking your sexy backside paid off then cuz? ‘Tis a sexy bum
that has that man weeping, he loves you, why did you ever doubt it
Michelle?”

“If I told you what I wanted and what he won’t do, then you’d
love him more. I want the whole nine yards and he won’t Shane, he’s
been a lot of a man-whore with girls in the past and with her, but
me he won’t touch, does that make sense to you Shane, because to me
it just feels like I’m not good enough?” He smiled and kissed my
cheek.

“You really are a stupid girl, for such a brainy girl. It
means he respects you he loves you enough not to do that, he loves
you he can’t take his eyes off you. Well the respect he has, I
like. I think you have given him an ultimatum, young Michelle, be
careful and watch yourself, marry him put a ring on your finger do
it his way. His respect for you is well it’s an honourable one, and
one I have to admire. He certainly has changed being with you a lot
and never say you’re not special. Grannie always tells you you’re
special Michelle, she says you have the gift of past knowledge, you
know what’s right from wrong, it’s him your meant to be with him,
it’s in your eyes, but do it the right way, his way.” I am shocked
at Shanes advice and words, he’s nailed it, Sam respects me because
he didn’t respect the others he said I would always be treated
differently from day one. Oh hell I love him, at last Sam joined
me, as Shane shakes his hand and kisses me and moves away from the
dance floor.

“You looked like you were having too much fun.” I moved
against him. Andy was now dancing with Zoë. They were talking he
looked over and smiled, he held her in his arms and kissed her. Sam
held me tightly. “You can’t have too much fun without me.” He held
me closer we did dance well together. I needed my drink, so led him
from the floor to a secluded booth and I sat on his lap as he held
on to me tightly.

“I’m not going anywhere Sam. I needed to know how many girls,
you have slept with and how many were that serious. I did ask was
there anyone I needed to know about, she was one I should have
known about, if I had known I would have been better prepared. As
it was she was a bitch in the toilet, the things that spewed from
her mouth. I should have killed her in there. That’s why I wanted
to go. However you didn’t move fast enough. I’m going to start
going to the gents, will I have anything to worry about in there?”
He laughed.

“She’s the only one I should have told you about, she was the
one who messed me up in the sex thing department. I was too
embarrassed to tell you about her. You baby are nothing like her at
all, I could never hate you, not like I do her. She makes my skin
crawl. What did she say I need to know?” I knew the Andy thing
would kill him and the other stuff would just embarrass
him.

“She just said you had a lot of girls on the market, looking
for someone as good as her and well you were inexperienced. How you
found out you were being used which was vile, but nothing that you
need to worry about! Besides according to her she made you the stud
you are today.” He laughed.

“She taught me how to fuck and not that well either, but I got
practice in of sorts but never to make love. Being loved and in
love with you, is so different Michelle. I’ve never had the love
for anyone like the one I have for you, besides you rock my world
in ways she never has.

You’re so good at loving me, I wish with all my heart we had
met back then, but well I’m cursed knowing my first time was a lie
and I was being used. You however will know how special and wanted
you are, I’m going to make it so special, had you got a passport
Michelle, we would be in Paris or Venice Next weekend.” I was
catching flies. He leant in and kissed my open mouth with long slow
kisses.

“Erg, I would have only been a child let’s don’t go there
stud, but remind me to re-apply for a new passport. I don’t have
that problem you were the one I wanted from the minute I saw you
Sam and you think you have to marry me to get it, so nice but so
not necessary, I will marry you one day though.” He
smiled.

“One day’s fine with me I thought I needed the marriage
commitment Missy. I don’t need it now I know you love me. One day
soon you will say yes though, Michelle, one day.”

“Can we go please I’m tired?” He agreed saying goodnight to
Andy, who was still dancing with Zoë. I drank the rest of my coke.
He really wasn’t letting me have another drink. I hadn’t brought a
coat and it was raining hard again. We ducked into the doorways
trying to keep dry, as he pulled me towards him to keep warm.
Kissing me as he did at first contact alley, I was a little worried
but given what we’d done I knew he knew there was a cut-off point.
He reached that and pulled away, he smiled.

“Is it Saturday yet, food or back to yours?” I looked at my
beautiful watch.

“We’ve just missed it damn it lets give the food a miss and
get to mine, I’m knackered.” Walking home in the rain, he held me
tightly. “The past is now just that, the past. I love you though
and I’m sorry about tonight. I don’t handle rejection well.” He
smiled.

“You have nothing to be sorry about, Mi cielo, I’m so glad we
have cleared things up. She and it were always the elephant in the
room with me. We both have major trust issues, I have a screwed up
home life and now a girl who knows exactly what she wants, which
she can have Friday night after dance class we’re head off
somewhere anywhere were we don’t know anyone alone and just us.” I
liked the truth.

“I can wait however long it takes, I’m new to all this, you
however have done it and got the tee shirt. I’ve known what I
wanted from the first time I saw you, definite after the first kiss
and so frustrated after all the other things we’ve done, nice as
they are, I still want you Sam.” Wet through and all argued out, we
reached mine.

“See you don’t listen, you get what you want on Friday, we get
gifts that don’t cost a penny but ones that are priceless and we
both get commitment, baby listen, I love just you and boy I want
you now!” I smiled umm I want him too.

“Come on let’s get out of these wet things.” He followed me to
my room, I undressed him, taking off his jacket and hung it up to
dry, undid his belt, top button and zip. Moving to the shirt, I
undid the buttons running my fingers through his chest hair and
playing with his chain around his neck. I pulled his arms free and
tossed it to the floor. The trousers fell easily to the ground and
he stepped out of them. He started undressing me, his touch sent
shivers of excitement throughout my whole body, the zip slid down
and the kisses to my back as he did it, I closed my eyes and I
enjoyed his touch.

He had me step out of the dress as he sat on the bed and
pulled me to him, he undid the stockings and running his hands up
and down my legs he murmured his delight, kissing them and
caressing them, mind blowing feelings all coursing through my
body.

“Your legs are amazing.” He kissed my belly, carry on please.
He removed the stockings with ease. He kissed the top of my thigh
as he did. A playful flick of the belt and that too ended upon the
pile of abandoned clothes. He slipped his hands under my bra and
massaged my breast, playing with my nipples, standing up undoing
it, he flicked my leg with it before putting his hands on my bum
cheeks and he squeezed hard holding me against his
chest.

“Argh Sam tonight please?” With one swift movement my knickers
they too were removed. He kissed my neck and moved down, kissing my
breasts and moving to my sides tiny explosive kisses, he knelt down
and I had my hands in his hair, running my fingers through it he
was pulling me to him. “Oh, Sam, please?” He and his tongue found
my sex. It darted in and out finding the sweet spot, over and over
teasing it and stopping and starting, his lips pursed as he blew on
it, he was driving me wild. I held on to his hair. I pulled his
head back kissing him he pulled me down to the floor. We kissed I
was so ready for this. He looked in to my eyes.

“Is this what you want? I pulled him down onto me.

“Yes, now please.” He looked petrified, yet so
ready.

“I really want you too and now.” He kissed me and the kisses
were everywhere, frantic kisses, then he had my nipple in his
mouth, he sucked circling it with his tongue, nipping at it gently
and then letting it fall from his mouth, oh God, oh God, oh God
yes, I arched my back and shivered against him as I came, he picked
me up and laid me on the bed.

“Are you sure this is what you want?” I pulled him to
me.

“Yes Sam more than you know.” He held me tightly.

“I love you and this is forever.” He was as nervous as I was
and as I felt him on top of me I knew this was happening and the
pleasure sored through my body, at last yes I had my hands on him,
pulling him towards me, oh hell he was big and I wondered if it
would hurt and how much? I knew he was big and I then started to
panic, he smiled and kissed me again.

“I don’t know how this will feel for you baby, but if it hurts
I stop and we take it slower, I am not rushing this I don’t want to
hurt you, I really don’t. This is always and forever baby.” Yes at
last he was so near me, his end was slipping in and the
anticipation building to a crescendo of our heartbeats, I could
feel his beating in rhythm with mine; the silent pounding in my
ears this was it.

Yes I wanted this. I grabbed the sheets, he was shaking, hell
he was doing it, he was in me… No, oh hell no, no, no… A bang at
the door and he pulled out, shit noooooo, no, no, no, no, no, no!
No damn it, someone is knocking on the front door and hard. Dad is
on nights and the knocking at the front door is getting angrier.
Sam is now swearing… That has put paid to any further deflowering
for now. His face was a picture, as I put on my robe.