A Life Plan Without You. (63 page)

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Authors: Christine Wood

Tags: #bullying, #longing, #first love, #lonliness, #ballroom dancing, #insecurities, #age differences, #80s disco era, #family fudes

BOOK: A Life Plan Without You.
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“I can see how that would put you off, how you lot stand it
beggars belief, and yes I do know Emma wants it this way.” He
smiled.

“Sam’s filled you in then?” I remembered the argument it
caused.

“He has yes, thanks Jimmy, and I wasn’t that stupid to think
she was dead clumsy, I know what’s going on and Sam is embarrassed
because I know, please don’t you be too, shit happens… You can’t
choose your parents Jimmy.” He sighed again too. I put his dad’s
tea and a drink on his tray, and called Andy down. I gave Dennis
his tray he looked at it and smiled. Sam helped Emma to the table
with Jimmy’s help, Dennis laughed as he saw the pain she was in,
crap he’s an evil bastard.

“That’s what I call a tea.” I went through to join the rest as
Andy followed me and smiled.

“This looks nice Michelle, thanks.” Sam looks so miserable
even me rubbing his thigh isn’t helping his mood improve because I
have I think witnessed the unpleasantness he couldn’t hide it from
me anymore and he was embarrassed, why did they not just
leave?

“I hope tastes as good as it looks; eat it before it gets
cold.” We sat and chatted, ignoring him in there and we were
talking and laughing. Sam tucked into his food grinning, I smile as
he watches his mum eat and because Emma was eating at last, he was
happy. Andy and Jimmy are arguing over the last piece. I tell them
there’s another in the oven. All three boys eat more as I watch.
Emma has finished and is full and she pats my hand.

“Come here you girlie my tray needs shifting.” I am being
called through by his dad they all looked horrified and frightened.
Sam stood to get the tray. Oh my days, he didn’t just call me
girlie, did he? Emma looked angry Sam noticed it too. I got up and
kissed her cheek and telling her it was fine. Telling Sam to sit
and eat, I went through to take his tray his plate was empty. The
look of a dirty old man on his face, that evil look in his eyes was
still there. I moved to take his tray.

“That was very nice thank you girlie, good food always
deserves a reward.” I had just received a complement and smiled. I
took the tray from him, as I turned he smacked my backside. I heard
the crack just as I felt the sharp, harsh pain across my buttock.
Shit that had caught me unawares
i
t was so hard my backside was sore
and it stung, the tray went flying smashing the plates and mug. He
sent me heading towards the floor I was sore and lying in a
crumpled heap on the carpet, he laughed as he did it.

“Welcome to my family girlie, yours aren’t here are they
girlie? You sure you want to be with that wimp in there, and to try
and mess with me and what’s mine, is a big mistake bitch…” He was
now smiling at me he had enjoyed hurting me and he was calling Sam
and threatening me really he was that stupid oh hell no? I jumped
up and picking the tray up and my auto pilot switched on, he is
about to get a Missy-fit with added extras…

His face now had a genuine fear about it. He had bloody good
cause to be frightened he was going to get the full force of my
weeks of anger thrown at him. I screamed and then I charged towards
him and I just lost it, in a split second I reacted badly. I pushed
him back into his chair and hit him with the tray, so bloody hard
my hand throbbed. He was shocked as I hit him
repeatedly.

“What the hell did you just do?” He looked shocked and stunned
I think being bashed with a metal tray on the head a couple of
times can do that to a person? “You old man have just hit the
fucking wrong person, I’m not going to sit and allow you abuse me.
You’re not my father thank God; he’s never hit me, so why do you
think it’s acceptable for you to do it to me? Who hits people who
do them a kindness? I swear you stinking drunken filthy dirty old
man touch me ever again, and I’ll be telling my father to dish some
of what you do to your poor family.

Sam isn’t a wimp he’s more of a man than you are or will ever
be because he looks after his family, even fucking you, you who
doesn't deserve any kindnesses being shown to you. You don’t
deserve any of them they are the best thing in your life, and you
treat them like your own personal servants, punch bag and
bank.

Well that stops now, leave them alone or so help me God I will
get my father to dish out what you to do to them all the bloody
time. Should Emma fall down those bloody stairs again, Jimmy gets
another football bruise or Sam and Andy have to pay you one more
penny to save their mother and brother from one more beating? Then
watch yourself, have you forgotten who my dad is, who my family is
or are you stupid enough to think I tell lies, how do you think Dad
gets away with protecting people like he does, you pathetic piece
of shit?

So help me God you will be found in a bar cellar, having
fallen down the cellar door in the pub. I swear I will make it
happen. If you’re lucky, you will die, because if you survive,
every day you will need to watch your back. You know my father you
know very well what he is capable of and what he will do? I think I
made that clear he doesn’t like me touched, hitting me was a
fucking big mistake, massive in fact.

You Know Bob Nelson I believe, he drinks in one of your smelly
holes? Well he insulted my mother by just calling her a bitch now
think of him spending all that time in hospital, and then admitting
to the police he fell down that open cellar hatch.” He realised
what he had done and to who, he gulped. He stood up to come at me
and wow the punch to the nose must have hurt a straight out punch
one two and an uppercut to the chin, he was back in the chair and a
bloody nose was his fucking reward, he was a tad
shocked.

“That was for threatening me you mean little bastard. You, you
stupid bastard actually hit me and hurt me, do you think for one
God damn minute he will let you live? I will bury you old man bury
you alive if I have to, I will make it happen. You are a horrid,
horrid excuse for a man. You’re a bully and a no good nasty drunken
piece of worthless shit, why poor darling Emma thinks you’re worth
saving beggars belief, you make me sick, I don’t make empty threats
and bring it on I am more than a match for you, it’s what Dad
trained me for, for dealing with scum like you, you are scum do you
hear me old man worthless pathetic scum...” I had an audience, who
were stood watching pale, quiet, shaking and in a great deal of
mental pain, it was showing all over their faces.

“Get in there and eat please boys look after Mum I can handle
this poor excuse for a man.” They amazingly did as I said. “Get to
your bed Dennis and sleep it off but remember this, my Dad loves me
more than anything in the world. Think of what’s coming to you and
enjoy what time you have left. He won’t like it when I tell him you
have smacked me and hurt me, you assaulted me and I self-defended
myself, no court would believe you were attacked by a little girl
like me without reason idiot, remember who my Uncle is? Had you
been sober you would have remembered perhaps, and no they aren’t
here but I have a hotline to the police, remember?

My promise is just this, touch any of them again even threaten
them and you get it back double, yes they will be around each day
to check on Emma, and he will know if she’s hurt do you hear me? Do
you understand one more bruise and your dead, that’s why he went to
the hospital to check her over to see to it she doesn’t get any
more bruises, do you understand Dennis that he will kill you?” He
nodded said yes he understood, he looked at me and actually went
upstairs. I went for a cloth to clean up.

They sat around the table in silence my bum ached, and me? I’m
wound up, like a bloody cog and pacing the kitchen. The adrenaline
is pumping through my body, I apologised and cleared the mess and
Emma asked me to sit down. She looked so different, they all did. I
looked at their faces the lads looked like three little lemmings
lined up and waiting to jump off a cliff, but Emma looked like she
had woken up from the best sleep ever, her eyes were quite
different, her face was angry at the pain I had endured at the
hands of her husband, but she had the same look in her eyes as she
did when she walked into her parlour and saw me for the first time
her eyes were alive and smiling, they were that way
again.

“I’m sorry for that Emma, I promise never to raise my voice
ever in your home again. In fact I will be going now, but I meant
it Emma if you have another fall, and I have to see you in that
amount of pain again, I will kill him, I won’t need my father’s
help I will do it myself, I hate him Emma you’re not safe here the
boys aren’t safe not here with him. I can’t stay and watch whilst
he stands and gloats and you cower, I’m afraid for you all, but for
you Emma most of all, I won’t wait around for him to hurt you
again, I can’t it’s too hard for me do you understand me?” I headed
to the door to leave, and she told me to sit down.

I carried on ranting as she smiled, the others then noticed
the change in her, and they too started to smile as I carried on
with my tirade, my arms in the air, pointing to the idiot upstairs
and ranting. Sam had seen the rant and was fully aware what was
coming my mouth was going to explode with rage.

“I was just so shocked when he hit me. It wasn’t a slap either
he full on hit me. Something I have never had done to me before?
Perhaps if Dad had hit me for being so gobby and opinionated, I
wouldn’t do it as much. Well I would do it, because that’s me, I
rant a lot, oh hell I may have ranted too much, and oh, did I rant?
Yeah of course I did. He thinks I’m fine because I only do it, when
pushed to the very edge and I am never wrong, well sometimes I may
be, but not often, shit I hit the fucker, oh I hit your dad and
your husband, in his own home, fuck, I mean hell, oh crappola what
did I do, arghhhh I hit the fucker with a tray too, oh hell more
than once fuck…

Okay well good job I don’t have these rages very often and
when they come they are needed, Dad says it’s a good way of letting
it all out, with that and the boxing I do, he used to take me to
his gym, but the fellas didn’t want to hit a girl, so me and Dad
used to do it he’d go easy on me, but all my rage went into
smacking the hell out of that bag and boy it felt good, but not as
good as hitting him, that was great and… Oh, boy I’m waffling, I’m
angry and waffling… Sam stop laughing this is serious angel I hit
your dad with a tray and he had a couple of punches to his nose, it
could be broken hell, I did didn’t I? Shit, I could have killed the
horrid man. Stop laughing I could have killed the little worm,
shit, I could have too, should I check that he’s still breathing I
dented the tray look it’s got his head mark here see?” They are all
laughing including Emma, as I carry on raging and
ranting.

“Emma please stop laughing, I’m serious waffling but serious,
today was no different Emma, I fight for the people I love, and
seeing you cower and be afraid of that man. Well it was awful, I
can’t stay and watch whilst he does that to you time after time,
you block it out and float off, the problems still there and your
still in danger every day. Seeing you in hospital nearly killed me,
you looked frail and weak. I won’t and can’t see you like that
again, please Emma, leave please leave, before he kills you, please
leave for me?” They were all laughing I sat catching flies with a
sore arse. She shushed me, as the tears started to come down my
cheeks. Sam and Andy looked on as Jimmy had his arms around his
mum. I was shaking and crying as I gingerly sat down, my backside
was so sore.

“Argh my bums numb like Jimmy’s head, I’ve found your twin
James Robert my numb bum, and it’s as hot as burning coal.” He
laughed as I cringed. My tight jeans were red hot around my
arse.

“Your Father is a good man if he has never laid a hand to his
children. You Michelle are my wakeup call. I should have done this
a long time ago. Andrew phone and get Aunty Allison to come and
pick us up please, enough is enough, I should have done this a long
time ago.” I’m still sat catching flies with a sore bum. Andrew
kissed my head as he passed, and said thank you, Sam was smiling
like his face would crack. Wow, I was stunned as she took control,
and boy did she. I have never seen her looking so happy.

“Sam can you get some clothes for me, make sure my new
nightclothes are there and well as much as you can, we can get more
things if we need them Sam can’t we?” Sam nodded and he too kissed
my head as he passed. “James, pack your stuff for college and
clothes for a while including your teddy don’t forget it. Allison
can and will drop you off at college it’s not for long, we are
leaving Son and we aren’t coming back until he is out of here.”
They disappeared.

“Jimmy needs his teddy he can’t sleep without it, because it’s
his comforter when his father starts on at him. Andrew and Sam will
be fine here, he won’t touch them Missy, and he knows they’ll kill
him without me and James to worry about, oh, I do like calling you
Missy, is it alright dear?” I started to cry again.

“Yes, I like it, my Gramps and Sam are the only ones who call
it me, but you can call it me too, are you alright have I done more
harm than good, oh Emma what did I do, you’re not angry with me are
you?” She cuddled me. Kissing my forehead and rocking
me.

“No Missy, I’m not angry, not with you, so no more tears. It
took a slip of a girl to stand up to the drunken bully. Finally, I
woke up, now I see what my children have dealt with, but hitting
you was the wake up I needed, why didn’t I listen to the boys? Why
did I give him so many chances? Well his last chance went as soon
as he smacked you my darling little girl, he deserved what he got,
and you were so very brave, fierce and strong.” Sam hugged his mum
as he came back, and smiled down at me. Andy was back, he too was
grinning.

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