A Life Plan Without You. (81 page)

“Erg yes I’ll have a pint please.” Sam bought them
in.

“Do you want another?” I nodded.

“Please I’m in need of one my knuckles hurt she bruised them
with her face.” Jimmy was next to comment.

“I thought the Rocky thing was a joke. Michelle she went down
like, wham one minute up and the next time she was flat out. How
come you never sorted the girls who bullied you at school like
that?” I laughed and Karen looked over lusting after Sam
still.

“I funnily enough don’t like fighting and I wanted to attend
school and I’m grown up enough to know you leave those childish
games at school, and not continue it in college, nor did I want to
get expelled or get a criminal record, I needed a clean sheet to
get in the navy, but hey I’m stopping here now with Sam, so don’t
have those limitations on me anymore, so does anyone else mess with
me? I don’t fight unless it’s a last resort. Aren’t you glad I’m
your best buddy now then, imagine getting one of them from me and
me actually wanting to hit you?” I was waffling again, nervous that
Sam had seen a physically violent Michelle. Jimmy laughed and went
back to Ellie and Ted, who Jenny was actually giving the once over.
I introduced them to each other.

“You met Shane earlier? Well this is his Cousin Jenny.” She
would eat him alive. “Jenny, this is Sam’s Cousin Ted, I call him
Teddy Bear, because he’s so nice and cuddly.” He blushed and shook
her hand. “Carol you and Stuart are you coming with us to Heaven
again, you are aren’t you please? Sorry about Megan, I didn’t want
to touch her.” She was really a quiet girl, Carol. Stuart and Sam
were at the bar, getting drinks.

“Don’t give Megan a second thought she really is a messed up
drunk, that’s all she does from getting up to going to bed, seven
days a week. Thanks to you asking me to join you the other week, I
was her paid career, she needs one she should be locked away, but
says the right things to get out and is quite the actress when they
question her, but after last week I’d had enough and quit. I’ve had
nothing to do with her again Stuart and I are seeing each other
too.”

“Oh that’s great, I’m so happy for you both, of all Sam’s
friends he seems the nicest, good luck and welcome to the group,
seems we may become firm friends like Sam and Stuart are.” The disc
jockey put on some music and people were dancing, I grabbed Carol
and we were joined by Zoë, as the other girls made their way to us,
Zoë laughed at me.

“I need you on my side, when I go out.” I smiled, umm to keep
a closer eye on Sam perhaps?

“I don’t fight, I self-defend very well.” She danced at the
side of me I moved around her and danced, was she actually
sober?

“Odd Fellows next, when you’re ready girls?” We followed, but
Sam hadn’t been near me in ages. I actually hadn’t seen him in a
while, not since he went to the bar for our drinks, which Stuart
brought us. I hadn’t looked for Sam as there were loads of people
in the pub and because I was busy dancing, I hadn’t noticed he
wasn’t there and I panicked, he never left me alone
ever…

“You all go on, I need the loo, and I will follow you all in a
minute.” I went to find my wayward fiancé. I went to the toilet and
he was there, he was with another girl. He looked at me as my face
obviously filled with wonder and suspicion.

“Michelle, this isn’t what you think I promise. This is just
my cousin, Aunty June’s daughter Shelly. Shelly, this is my fiancée
Michelle.” She held her hand out, looking at Sam in disgust. Erg
not liking this girl at all. Something has the Michelle bitch hair
in hackle mode.

“You are engaged Sam. Why wasn’t I told about this?” I didn’t
like this girl at all. What did it have to do with her?

“Perhaps Shelly because the people who matter to us, have been
told and are very happy about it?” I left him to it. I went out the
back door and caught up with the others.

“Andy who is Shelly?” He smiled.

“She is our nightmare kissing cousin.” I looked at him he was
laughing, Teddy and Kim were laughing too.

“She fancies Sam always has. She has an evil streak about her
too we don’t like her at all. Why do you ask?”

“She’s over in the Stockton Arms with him now.” I turned and
walked back, she had her arms all over him. He was actually fending
her off. I put my arms around his waist.

“You all right angel? Come on everyone’s waiting for you and I
to join them. It is after all turning into our engagement do, so
come on hubby to be!” He looked relived and smiled. She began
following us.

“I don’t think I’d like you to come with us Shelly, it has to
be said. I don’t think Sam wants you with us either, nor do your
cousins, it seems they don’t like you either. You’ve had your last
kiss and grope of my fiancé.” She got angry and right up in my
face. I wasn’t afraid of her one little bit.

“Who the bloody hell do you think you are? You’re never going
to be enough for him bitch, your too young and still in school you
bitch.” I looked at her in disbelief. She was evil, her eyes burned
into mine.

“Wow, he’s your cousin and my fiancé, so don’t push. I push
back hard. As to being enough for him, when and if that time comes,
I’m sure he will let me know, but for now I know I am more than
enough and then some, and I’m in college and start uni later this
year, you know getting an education bitch! Why the hostility you
moron?” He wrapped his hand in mine and we left her.

“Thanks for the rescue I needed it. Why did you come
back?”

“I asked Andy about her and decided not to leave you in her
grubby hands. She seemed to want more than Kim did sorry does as a
cousin, she’s too handy, too erg, touchy feely? Those feely things
are all mine.” He smiled and kissed me.

“You don’t know how right you are and for the record you are
more than enough for me, now and forever.” We re-joined the group.
I was being handed another drink.

“Go easy on those, your drinking them like pop. I don’t fancy
carrying you home.” I laughed.

“Taste it Sam it is pop, I only have cokes from Andy. The only
drinks I have had you’ve bought me. I want to enjoy and remember
tonight plus you love carrying me home, don’t lie.” He smiled at me
and kissed me.

“Umm I do, tonight, are you still sure this is what you want?”
I smiled.

“Commitment issues again Samuel?” I went to talk to the others
as he watched me and smiled. Kim was by my side.

“He really does love you Michelle I think you’re going to be
really happy together.” I looked at Kim and gave her a thank you
hug.

“I wonder if I’m enough for him, I’ve no experience and I fly
of the handle at the slightest thing. I’m sure he could do a lot
better.” She hugged me.

“You’re so wrong, so very wrong on that one Michelle. Please
believe me he has loved you for ages. He spoke to Mama earlier in
the year and she and Aunty Emma had been to see their lady, and her
dead friends told her there would be a clearing in the fog that was
their life, and that a trouble would be no more with the arrival of
a son’s true love.

I laughed at the time, as Mama said it couldn’t be Teddy Bear,
he needed to leave the house first, nor Jimmy who was mooning after
you, who didn’t know he existed, but you were the girl in question,
even though Sam didn’t know it, you were the one the others had
said were coming. ‘Spooky Ville’ or what? Zoe well, enough said
about her, she can’t help herself let alone others, then there was
Sam, poor stupid Sam, he came to tea that same night, and he cried
with Mama for ages, he had met someone, but not met her and he was
afraid to ask her out, afraid she would say no!

Mama realised whomever it was, was the girl coming to save us
all, and it turns out I need to go to see this woman she got it
spot on. Apparently you see others too? Sam was telling Mama the
other night, when you were drunk at dinner, very rude of you to go
for nooky in the alcove?” I went red, both her and Jimmy had heard
us who else? I was smiling back at her.

“I do occasionally see others, I call them helpers or others,
but I don’t like speaking about it or them, it tends to get people
riled or upset at me? I see people they say things and then well I
sometimes, I understand them but they can be very cryptic, the
messages may mean something to that one person, but means nothing
to me!”

“Oh, have
you seen anything around me?” I see the same two people a sad lady
and an angry faceless man.

“Why do
you need to know things, are you not happy as you are?”

“Oh yeah,
I love Mama and my crazy family, I just have this feeling of not
knowing who I am, who I was, you know?”

“Nope I
don’t sorry, but if your happy as you are don’t dig further Aunty
Allison, is super cool and you’re lucky to have her as a Mum, sorry
Mama!”

“I know,
I love her to bit’s and since you have been with us she’s a damn
sight more tactile and kisses are well received, she likes to be
gruff and she isn’t far from it, argh I love her so, and talking of
loves he’s watching everything you do soppy sod!”

“I know I love him too, and he loves me but we haven’t done it
yet, and then I’m panicking will I be good enough. He’s already
told me he loves me loads of times and that we are perfect
together.” She looked at me and shrugged her shoulders at
me.

“I know he loves you, we joked about the impending knee drop a
couple of days after you finally said yes, boy he was so happy.” I
blushed again!

“We’ve had so much other stuff going on I think when it
happens it happens.” I explained about hearing Janet and all the
shit we went through with her, her laughing and ripping him to
pieces in the toilets. Everything, including all the Andy stuff,
asking her please not to mention it. She promised. She wasn’t as
shocked at the Andy thing as I thought though so perhaps they
already know of his sexual preferences?

“I knew she did bad things to him, I just wasn’t sure how
badly he took them, obviously pretty badly, but your right don’t
tell him about Andy, ever they have a special bond and I’d hate for
it to be broken Andy needs Sam in his life he loves him like no
other, it’s endearing to see what Andy will do to protect Sam from,
and he always has, he’s a sad man and needs someone other than that
cow by his side, someone less fucked up than he is.” She didn’t
like Zoë either then? He was coming over as she laughed. “There is
always other stuff to do Michelle I know a thing or two.” I grabbed
her arm.

“We do the other stuff cheers, very well and lots of it.” She
left me laughing and heading to the bar for more drinks.

“What were you two deep in conversation about? Sam was back at
my side, arms around my waist.

“Oh, I don’t know girlie stuff, new clothes makeup, why you an
expert in that field now Sam?”

“No all-girl stuffs a bit alien to me, as you’ve probably
guessed already, you lot are hard to figure out she’s a good friend
to have Michelle, ask her anything, she never lies and is goddamned
fruity and fun, and a hell of a great cousin, who it seems likes
you too.” I held his hand tightly; perhaps I would wait until he
was ready. I’d wait forever to keep him happy and with me. Andy was
on drunk wrangling as we had gained yet more revellers Jenny
smiling and holding Teddy’s hand, something Kimmy noticed too and
we smiled aww cute!

“On we go to the next pub, the George.” We left mob handed, we
had picked up another few people. A couple of the jolly boys had
joined the party. I went in search of my fella. He’d disappeared to
the toilet ages ago.

“Have you seen Sam, Andy I can’t find him again?” He pointed
to the door. I walked to the door and he was sitting alone on a
bench.

“What you doing out here all on your own, we’re off next door
to the George baby?” He held his hand out and I took it and sat on
his lap.

“I need to ask you something.” This didn’t sound like it was
going to be good news. “If we do this, we do it tonight Michelle. I
really can’t wait to have you and well I’m nervous and I’m dreading
ruining it for you. You know about everything now, I just don’t
know if I will be good enough for you?”

“I’m sure you will be fine Sam, you do the other things so
very well, as long as it’s what we both want, it’s going to be
fantastic. I may be useless, you have had practice unlike me, what
if you don’t like me and I’m useless?”

“You are very good at what you do too. I’m sure it will be
fine Michelle, we can practice getting better too and we probably
are going to have to practice day and night, that's going to be
such a chore having you in bed all night. I can’t wait. Come on
drinks are on Andy and his pet moths then we go home. You have
something I want and I definitely have something to give you Mi
cielo.” That I laughed at, nervous didn’t quite cover it now it was
actually happening. We had a couple in the George and headed off to
Heaven.

“Hello you lot, how many are with your party Michelle?” I
counted them thirty four. He laughed and called me the pied piper
of drunks.

“Yes and they like spending their money too.” He walked us
down and informed Dotty we were a party of thirty four, and an
engagement party. I laughed turned out to be a bigger group than I
imagined. I grabbed Sam and took him to dance straight
away.