A Lil' Less Hopeless (12 page)

Several moments later, the telltale quick breathing in my ear signaled he was close. It was time to bring it on home. I clenched myself tight around him, hugging his delicious dick with every inch it touched, and milked his orgasm from him. He grabbed hold of my knees to steady himself as his body betrayed him and spasmed violently.

I held him tight, rubbing over the sudden bumpy roughness of his skin as his chills set in. Weakened, he barely managed to roll himself over, his dick still partially inserted, holding me close to rest on his chest. Our bodies calmed themselves, and my hazy vision began to clear. The sun was almost fully risen now and the soft shadows were disappearing from the walls. I traced my fingers delicately over Jay's skin as he massaged my bottom with his palm and he held me tight.

“I'm sorry.” He surprised me. We didn't usually talk in these sweet moments right after claiming each other.

I raised my chin, looking up at him. His eyes were closed tight, as if he was in pain. “I didn't want you to see me there. I never want you to see me in a place like that, Lil's.”

I breathed hard. He felt the need to finish his thought. “It's bad enough you've seen your pop and Tiny in that spot before. I want to be better than that, for you.”

I kissed his chest repeatedly. “It's who you are, Jay. I know that. There are going to be times when you need to lean on me, need to let me in if you need help. You can't be too proud to do that. Promise me.”

Many seconds passed, in silence. “I can't promise that Lil's. But I promise I can try.”

I settled back down next to him and snuggled in close. That's all I could ask for. I just hoped I was strong enough to handle it.

NOW

Chris opens the metal door for me as I step into a room almost identical to the one in which I was questioned, the last time I was here. Jay is seated at the rectangular table dressed in orange cotton clothes similar to doctor scrubs. He stares at me as I fully enter the room and take the seat across from him. Chris quietly closes the door behind me, giving us some privacy.

“I see you still can't follow directions,” he says sarcastically. “It's done Lil's. There's nothing to say about it now.”

I fold my hands gently across one another, occupying them to hide my nervousness.

“Really? Well, if you've got nothing to say, then sit back and do some listening, instead.”

His eyes widen at the command. Maybe it's our sudden predicament, but I'm emboldened. Call it a power trip. We don't usually have situations where Jay has no choice other than to let me go off on him.

“Let's go over the facts here. You went behind my back, arranged for all this...” I gesture my arms wide, emphasizing the bare room around us. “Took everything I cared about away from me without so much as a conversation?”

Jay sits back and crosses his arms defiantly. “I know what you would have said, would have done, if I told you, Lil's. I
know
you.”

I smirk. “Oh really? How well do you know me, Jay? What am I going to do now, if you
know
me so well?”

A flash of confusion crosses over him. Briefly, but I still see it before it's hidden under his smart ass grin.

I lean forward as if about to whisper. “I'll tell you what I'm about to do. I know where Vicky is.”

Fear floods his face.

“I'm going to go get her, bring her back here, and get your ass out of this hellhole,” I reveal my plan.

Anger fills the voids in his eyes.

“You will not!” He seethes. “I forbid it! Lil's, I swear to God, you let the club handle it!”

“Yeah” I spit out. “’Cause they've done such a great job so far... right?”

He slams his palms down hard on the metal surface, pushing himself up from the table.

“Why can't you ever just
do
as you're told?” The vein on his neck pops violently against his flushing skin.

I shake my head. “Like a good little ol' lady? Like a good little wife?” I say sarcastically with baby voice, and all. “You're not in this alone anymore, Jay.” I say soberly. “We exchanged vows... and you don't have the authority to make decisions like this on your own anymore!”

Chris rushes into the room, alerted from the recent commotion within the room, no doubt. This seems to only anger Jay further.

“I mean it, Lil's...” his voice suddenly calms as he struggles against himself to maintain some sort of composure. “You have one job right now. Something that I can't do for you... you have to keep the baby safe.”

I walk around the table without a second thought. Chris moves to step closer, but I hold him off with a quick glare. He pauses, but I can see he is still on high alert. Jay is shaking, he is so mad, but I don't hesitate to reach out and hold his face in my palms.

His eyes are wide, furious. It shakes me to my core. I reach up on my tiptoes and plant a gentle kiss on his stiff lips as he holds himself rigid.

“I'll be careful, I swear. I'll keep her safe... and her daddy.”

I turn around and stalk out of the room, willing myself to continue, not to look back... even as I hear the table toppling over and the chair being thrown. The sounds of body impacting metal cause me to flinch, but I walk on down the hall. His screaming protests fill the space and all personnel rush past me to handle the disturbance.

I hear him scream my name over and over, but I must keep on. A tear rolls down my cheek at the sound of his voice echoing in my ears, pleading for me. The sooner I get this over with, the sooner he'll be home with me, I mentally tell myself over and over. I clutch myself tight, holding onto my midsection.

The sooner he'll be home with
us
.

******

The car hums along silently, with both Jess and Chris remaining silent. My hands have stilled, the nervous shaking having subsided. The events of the day have exhausted me, leaving me hollow inside. I'm too numb to acknowledge the feelings I know should be brewing inside. I'd never stood up to Jay like that before. Sure, I can be a pain in the ass... and cause him a shitload of grief when I want to. But I've never defied him before. Not when it's been about something that actually mattered. The patchwork plan I am able to piece together is missing one major component. One piece that could throw it all to hell and leave me back at square one with nothing but empty intentions in my hands.

Charlie wasn't able to get me an exact location for Vicky until after my visit with Jay. The amount of relief and gratitude that coursed through me when I was given my cell phone back and scrolled through to see her message, will never be duplicated. It was as if it was my own freedom, not Jay's that was being given a second chance.

Not wanting to chance the message being intercepted or hacked into, she simply texted me that she had found what I was looking for and to stop by the hospital to take it off her hands. It was a good idea, considering she had just broken the law and stuck her neck on the line for me. We don't need a digital trail leading right to her door in case things go to shit, now do we?

I know from my visits to the OB department, that Charlie is usually stationed nearby on the next floor. Chris puts up a bit of an argument when I tell him to wait in the mail hall. We have an understanding, but that doesn't necessarily mean we trust each other. I leave Jess behind with him to soften the blow to his ego.

The nurses dart around carrying clipboards and light medical equipment, their pastel-colored uniforms offering a friendly easter-like atmosphere to the place. I nod greetings to a few familiar faces and search the rooms for the one I'm looking for. I find her before long, chatting with an orderly in a corner. She spots me and bids farewell to her co-worker.

“Hey, Lil's.” She leans in and pecks me on the cheek. “You left your chart here the other day.”

This woman could
never
be an actress. She speaks louder than usual, and appears awkwardly fidgety. Not natural at all. I smile at her. She's a good friend. A bad actress, but a good friend.

“Uh... yeah! Thanks, Charlie.” I overact to match her ridiculous tone.

Her sandy brown hair is pulled back tight in a ponytail, showcasing her full face. I've never seen her full features before without long hair cascading around them. She's very pretty... beautiful, even. I can see what drew Clink in... but, it's more than that. Clink has never had a problem getting a gorgeous girl before. Looks can only take you so far, though. Charlie has the whole package to keep Clink around when he decides to look beyond the mere physical gifts she was given.

She leads me over to the central nurses station and unlocks a medium-sized drawer labeled “Charlie.” She removes a large pile of stacked manila file charts and sorts through them until she settles on one inconspicuous file simply labeled “L.”

I don't dare open it here. Instead, I clutch it tight to myself, and pull Charlie in close.

“You will never know how much I appreciate this.”

She nods her understanding and straightens herself up, regaining her composure as a fellow nurse walks by and eyes us.

“Ladies’ room?” I ask her, looking around for any obvious universal skirted stick-figured door sign.

She points to a door diagonally down the hall from us. I smile my appreciation once again, and then rush off to the privacy of the ladies’ bathroom. Locking the door behind me, I lean up against the closed wooden entryway and breathe deeply. I hadn't thought this far ahead, and I take a second to plan my next few steps.

Opening the front jacket of the file, I eye the photocopied paper inside as if it were a treasure map. In a way it is, for nothing could be as valuable as this right now. I commit the name and address to memory using an old trick I learned in a study prep class from high school. It's how I've always retained pieces of information to recall for exams. Once I'm certain I have it down pat, I take a deep breath, close my eyes tight, and pull at the letter-sized document in my hand. Ripping and tearing, I form dozens and dozens of tiny white scraps. I dispose of them in the toilet and use my foot to press the handle down, initiating the flush and disappearance of the incriminating evidence.

I toss the indescript empty file into the trash can and lead myself back out to the hall. Charlie is pretending to peruse files while casting her gaze repeatedly upward, waiting for my reappearance. I give her a quick “thumbs-up” while passing and move to meet Jess and Chris.

Once again, that uncomfortable “third wheel” feeling starts to envelop me as I approach the giggling, googly eyed pair.

“Ahem...” I announce my arrival.

They both stand taller, almost immediately.

“Did you get it?” Chris prods.

I had brought him up to speed with my intentions earlier after they had contained Jay's outburst. I knew I won't be able to do this alone, and a little extra backup never hurt. He was all too eager to help and couldn't pass up the opportunity to make a pretty big arrest. I'm sure this will look more than impressive on his record.

“I got it,” I concede.

Chris pushes past Jess, who has suddenly become invisible to him.

“Well... where is it?” he wonders aloud. “Give it here and I'll be on my way.”

I shake my head. “That’s not how this is going to work.”

Chris looks confused, visibly processing and digesting my assessment. “Say again?”

Interested in our exchange, Jess moves in to hear my words.

“I destroyed it. And don't bother going to try and find it. I can assure you my informant has hidden all traces of it.”

“Wha-...? Why would you do that, Lil's? I thought you wanted Chris to find this stripper chick?” Jess is confused.

I stand firm.

“I do. But I want to make sure it happens. I'm going with him. I'll take Chris to her and he can do what he needs to do from there.”

Chris tries to contain his anger for the purpose of public decency as hospital visitors crowd the hallway en route to their own destinations.

“What are you trying to do here, Lil's? You gonna double cross me?”

I smile halfheartedly. “Not at all. Just trying to make sure
you
don't.”

Chris stands speechless. Jess doesn't.

“Yes! A road trip! This is gonna be great.”

Pretty Boy and I turn our confused looks to the third person in our conversation.

“What?” she asks. “No way can you be alone with him, Lil's. Jay is
really
gonna loose his shit if he finds that out.” Not waiting for any type of agreement, she marches past us and calls back. “Let's go slow pokes. We've already lost enough time!”

Chris and I eye each other in mutual suspicion and astonishment. While we were both trying to get one up on the other, Jess managed to swoop in and rattle us both while procuring a little more quality time for their budding romance. Great. Maybe we can pass notes and they can play the whole “Do you like me? or Do you like,
like
me?” game.

This road trip is gonna suck ass.

******

My back hurts, my legs hurts. My ass hurts. Jess's car is comfortable and all, but sitting still for ten hours of driving will beat you up. Thank God Jess suggested... hell, insisted... that we take her car. Rolling into town in a generic, undercover-looking car is sure to raise some red flags in small-town USA Tourville, Texas.

The ride has been exhausting, but we are barely more than halfway there. Pulling into the first decent-looking motel we find, we secure two rooms and head off in each of our prospective directions. Girls on the second floor in a double room, while Chris has a single on the ground floor. It's beyond late, and all I want to do is to throw myself on one of the queen-sized beds, but the oversized bathtub is calling to me.

Other than bra size, Jess and I are identical. She generously offers to loan me some clothes until we get to our final destination in Texas where I'll buy some things to tide me over. It is a great alternative so I don't have to risk heading back to Jay's house. Well... I guess it's officially my house now.

I work the porcelain handles to begin filling the tub with overly-warm rushing water and begin to strip, preparing myself for the heaven that awaits me. Waiting for the bath to fill completely before I get in, I hand wash my underthings and drape them over the towel bar to air dry.

Knock, knock.

“I'm gonna go down to the lobby bar and see of they have a late-night menu, Lil's. I'm starving. Do you want me to bring you back something?”

Usually it's the pregnant lady who's always hungry. Jess could out-eat me any day of the week. Knocked up or not.

“Nah...” I call out through the heavy closed door. “I'm still stuffed from dinner. Thanks, though.”

The room quickly fills with rising steam, and I dangle my toes over the water, testing the temperature. “I'm just gonna take a quick soak and then hit the sack.”