A Little Bit Sinful (37 page)

“Yes, my lord.”

“Excellent.”

“Since I did not know Lady Tinsdale was coming, only the master’s suite has been prepared,” Mrs. Ellis said, her gaze sweeping the ground.

“No matter. The countess and I will share the chamber,” Sebastian answered. “‘Tis how we prefer it.”

There was a squeak of surprise from the maid clearing away the tea tray. She hastened out the door, the housekeeper on her heels. There was a long moment of silence and then Eleanor started giggling.

“Perfect,” she said, a smile still tugging at her lips. “Now you’ve scandalized the servants. All within the first hour of our arrival.”

Sebastian lifted his brow mockingly. “A new record for me, I believe.”

“Hmm. Let’s hope there isn’t a fountain on the property. The moment you take one of your infamous swims, your reputation will be sealed.”

“Honestly, Eleanor, servants enjoy the eccentricities of their employers. It makes them feel superiorly moral.”

“That might have been the case in your past, my lord, but you now need to be respectable.”

“However will I manage?”

“It will be nigh impossible, I fear,” she quipped as she broke into giggles.

Sebastian’s heart melted. Impulsively he reached for her hand, gripping it tightly. “I adore hearing you laugh.”

“It does feel good.”

He lifted their clasped hands to his mouth and kissed her wrist. She smiled tenderly and his heart soared. “Come, let’s go inspect the master’s chambers, my dearest. Frankly, I cannot wait to see the surprises that await us.”

Life settled into a domestic pattern over the next few weeks that Eleanor found both comforting and surreal. Under the watchful eye of Mrs. Ellis, the manor house was thoroughly cleaned, then slowly put in order. Antique treasures were discovered in the attic rooms, along with mice-eaten tapestries and broken furniture.

Eleanor rescued the pieces she liked, gave away what she didn’t, and threw out the rest. She hired local craftsmen and frequented all the village shops for the necessary materials, giving the local economy a much-needed boost. Though Sebastian explained it was necessary to set aside substantial funds for improvements to the tenant farms and estate acreage, he gave her a generous household budget. It felt wonderfully cathartic redoing the various rooms, creating a home that was uniquely hers.

By unspoken agreement she and Sebastian worked hard at being an exemplary couple. They spoke to each other in modulated, polite tones and were always civil in public and private. Eleanor consulted
Sebastian over all the major decisions she made in the house; he asked her opinion on the management of the estate. They entertained the local gentry and went to church on Sunday. She made visits to the tenant farms. He accompanied her.

He treated her with respect and kindness, encouraging her to speak her mind. They discussed art, music, and books, agreeing on the merits of some pieces and engaging in spirited debates on others. He complimented her appearance at least once a day, even as her mirror clearly demonstrated how round and plump her body was becoming.

Awaiting her each morning on her dressing table was a silver vase with a single white rose inside. Warmth blossomed in her chest every time she saw it, but the day she caught Sebastian placing the rose inside the vessel, her heart opened a little bit more.

They shared a bed every night, oftentimes making love. Sebastian never failed to satisfy her, and himself, exploring her newly discovered sensuality with passion and skill. His carnal desire helped to weaken her emotional defenses, yet despite all their efforts, there existed a barrier of caution between them and too often she felt unsure about the strength of their relationship.

Sighing, Eleanor drew out a fresh sheet of parchment and began writing suggestions for next week’s menus. She was still debating whether they should have lamb or beef on Tuesday when she heard the sound of muffled voices coming from outside her window.

Curious, Eleanor left her writing desk to investigate. An unknown carriage had reached the front door, the occupants slowly disembarking.
Two gentlemen on horseback accompanied the carriage and then Sebastian rode into view.

Lean, tall, and broad-shouldered, he was coatless, dressed in a full-sleeved white shirt, snug black breeches, and knee-high boots. She could clearly see the muscles in his thighs as he swung effortlessly off his horse, then strode forward to greet the others.

Her heart began to pound. The sight of him made her breath catch in her throat, made her feel powerless to turn away. Why did he have this effect on her? How could the mere sight of him at times reduce her to a giggling schoolgirl?

Almost as if sensing her regard, Sebastian looked up at the window. She froze. Their eyes met and he smiled. A sensual heat flushed across her chest, striking at her heart. She sternly told herself to trust that emotion, to let it crush the tiny seeds of doubt lurking inside. To believe they could have a life together built on a foundation of love.

Was it possible? Preoccupied with these heady thoughts, and the sight of her handsome husband, Eleanor barely noticed the individuals who had climbed out of the coach.

Despite her ever expanding belly, her footsteps treaded lightly on the polished floors as she went down to greet the guests. She entered the drawing room unannounced, her eyes landing on a group of four people gathered near the fire, seeking the warmth to chase away the late autumn chill. She immediately identified the Reverend Chancellor and his wife, along with their nearest neighbor, Sir Thomas, but the other man was a stranger.

Or was he?
Of medium height, with blond-streaked
hair and a strong, firm jaw, there was something about him …. Surprise rose in Eleanor’s throat.
It wasn’t possible, was it?
She stared almost rudely at the gentleman, cataloging the familiar features that were unchanged but for the maturity of age.

He surveyed her with equal intensity. “Lady Eleanor?”

It was him!
Her lips parted in a disbelieving smile and her heart filled with genuine joy as she grasped his outstretched hand in greeting. “John Tanner. It’s been a very long time since I’ve seen you,” she said, gazing into the astonished eyes of the man she had loved so passionately when she was a young woman.

Standing near the doorway, Sebastian scowled as he watched the awestruck look of delight on Eleanor’s face. Who was that man to her? Obviously someone she knew well.

Sebastian moved to speak with his neighbors, his eyes ever mindful of his wife sitting cozily next to this unknown Mr. Tanner.

“Tell me, Sir Thomas, is Tanner originally from this area?” Sebastian asked.

“No. I believe he was born and raised somewhere in the countryside not too far from London. He set out as a young man to make his fortune in the Colonies and has now returned with an eye toward acquiring property in the area.”

Sebastian didn’t like the sound of that plan. “Do you happen to know what line of work he was in before he left England?”

“As a matter of fact, I do. He was a groom. For an earl, I think, though I’m not sure which one. Tanner might have made his fortune in mining, but the man still has a way with horses.”

Sir Thomas accepted a glass of whiskey from a footman, nodding his head in thanks. Sebastian refused a drink, a lump of jealousy forming in his chest. He knew only that the man Eleanor had loved as a girl was someone she classified as unsuitable. A groom would certainly qualify.

He wanted to ask more questions, but the reverend and his wife joined them.

“Isn’t it an astonishing coincidence, my lord? Lady Eleanor and Mr. Tanner knew each other when they were younger.” Mrs. Chancellor took a dainty sip of her Madeira, then smiled cheerfully. “I vow they have a great deal of catching up to do.”

Sebastian grinned, feigning polite surprise and interest, all the while aware of the blood pounding through his veins and roaring in his ears. He had difficulty following the ensuing conversation, as his eyes kept straying to Eleanor. Her head was bent close to Tanner’s as they spoke, the privacy and intensity of their discussion obvious.

Sebastian’s first inclination was to stalk across the room, pull Tanner to his feet, and shove him out the door, but he somehow managed to hold his temper in check. He would not act boorishly and embarrass his wife in front of their guests no matter how extreme the emotions churning inside him.

After ten agonizing minutes, Sebastian gazed again at Eleanor, almost willing her to glance his way. Miraculously, she did. Relief soothed his pride when their eyes met. He smiled at her. She smiled vaguely
back, then immediately turned her attention to the man beside her.

The pain burst inside his chest, slicing him to the marrow. Sebastian’s jaw ached with the effort to hold back his emotions, but somehow he did, keeping his jealousy at a slow, steady simmer, controlled and contained beneath a congenial facade. At the conclusion of the visit, he even managed to walk the guests out to their carriage, bowing politely to Mrs. Chancellor and shaking hands firmly with the men.

The urge to crush Tanner’s hand as he gripped it was childish and nearly all-consuming, but Sebastian forced his fingers to loosen before arousing the other man’s suspicions. The rational side of his brain told him he was acting like a fool, but even after living together for weeks, Sebastian was no closer to knowing his wife’s true feelings for him, and that uncertainty left him vulnerable.

Fingers curling into fists at his sides, Sebastian made his way back to the drawing room. Eleanor was still seated on the settee gazing out the window, her pensive gaze focused on the departing carriage. Daydreaming about her young lover?

“Tanner was the one, wasn’t he?” Sebastian asked without preamble. “The young man of noble character you fell in love with when you were a girl?”

“Yes.” Her whimsical smile tore at Sebastian’s heart. “John was a groom in my father’s household. Kind, considerate, always ready to listen to the hopes and dreams of a lonely girl. We were so foolish, yet so determined. I doubt there is anything in this world more impractical than young lovers.”

Sebastian stiffened, but she seemed not to notice. “He appears to have made his mark in the American
Colonies. Sir Thomas said he possesses a sizable fortune.”

“Yes, he’s been remarkably successful.” Sebastian fidgeted with a silver button on the cuff of his shirt. “Was that what you were discussing for so long? His success?”

“That and other things. A lot has happened since we last saw each other.” “Is he married?”

“No. Though he hopes one day to settle down. John was always a man who valued family.”

A true paragon.
Sebastian gave an impolite snort. “Did you encourage him to buy land in the county? Sir Thomas said Tanner was looking for a property to purchase.”

“John mentioned he wanted to find a good place to set down roots. I hope that he does stay here. I’m sure he would make an excellent neighbor.” Her expression turned thoughtful. “Sebastian, whatever is the matter? You look positively thunderstruck.”

Sebastian swallowed convulsively, looking into her lovely face. This was harder than he thought it would be. He wanted so much to be unselfish, to be able to make the noble choice and sacrifice his own happiness for hers, yet the very idea of losing her made him break out in a cold sweat.

“You deserve to be happy, Eleanor, and more than anything I want to be fair to you. ‘Tis clear your affection for this man remains strong, yet I must insist that you stay well away from him. The consequences if you rekindle this relationship would be disastrous.”

Her mouth dropped open. “Is that what you
think? That I am interested in a romance with John?”

“I know that he wants you.”

“Oh, really? After being reacquainted for less than an hour. Not to mention that I am married and round with another man’s child, yet John and I are going to begin an illicit love affair? I would be insulted by that remark if the very idea of it wasn’t so ridiculous.”

“What’s wrong with your figure? ‘Tis voluptuous. You are glowing, for Christ’s sake. Of course he wants you. Any man who doesn’t is a fool.” Sebastian leaned in closer. “Tanner is still in love with you. ‘Tis obvious in every glance he casts in your direction.”

“I’m sure you are mistaken about John’s feelings.” Color swept into her cheeks. “Our relationship ended long ago.”

“In affairs of the heart the passing of time matters little.”

“You speak from experience, no doubt,” she remarked.

“Actually, yes.” He caught her hand. “My love for you has not wavered for months. In fact, it only grows stronger, which is why I cannot willingly let you go. Truth be told, I will fight to keep you.”

“You love me that much?” she asked, going very still.

“With all of my heart, with all of my being. Surely you know that, Eleanor? I feel a rush of euphoria every time I set eyes on you, pleasure at the mere sound of your voice. My heart races when I hold you in my arms. When I wake early in the morning, I find
that even in sleep I’ve reached for you, overwhelmed by the need to touch you, to connect with you.

“I know things are far from perfect between us, yet I also know I could not bear how hollow my life would be without you in it.” He knelt before her. “Thanks to you I am learning to believe in myself, to believe that I can be a man worthy of your love. You can’t expect me to forsake the dream that someday it will come to pass. ‘Tis too cruel.”

Her eyes grew enormous. “I’m not asking that of you, Sebastian.”

His relief was so strong he nearly slumped forward. “Then there is still hope for us.”

“Oh, dearest, there is far more than hope. There is love, too.” Her face broadened into a wide smile. “You’re jealous!” “That pleases you?”

“That delights me! The scowl on your face, the passion in your voice.
‘I will fight to keep you.’
You truly love me, don’t you?”

“More than anything. And I fervently hope that someday soon you will return my love.”

She slid her arms around his neck and leaned into him. “That day has arrived, Sebastian. I love you. With all of
my
heart and all of
my
being. It feels like it has always been that way. Even when I was angry and hurt, my love for you never waned, never faded. I was simply too afraid to trust in it, to believe in it. But no longer.”